Forged In Guilt, Part 1 [Hana/Josh]

Hana was right. No coffee. She stopped looking and raised an eyebrow at Josh grabbing the blanket, but chose to ignore it since thinking about it would hurt. Instead, she grabbed a pen and wrote a note with her address on it. She had a few of these to remember to give out to specific people.

“Coin? Coin…” Hana shook her head and walked up to him, bapping him on the nose with the pen. "Kan. This is not one of those rpd video games with gold everywhere. Kan. And of course, we can pick up some coffee on the way."

Joshua scrunched up his face when she bapped his nose, turned, and bonked her on the head with the folded up blanket.
“Pretty sure its RPG; yer younger, you should know this better than me,” he snarked, starting up the stairs.
“And coin remains a functional and in use term for money of all kinds. Give me fifteen to get dressed and such. Joshua called back as he walked up the stairs and disappeared.

If he’d wanted to be a pain in the ass, he would have simply gone back to bed and gone to sleep.

Luckily for Hana, that was not the case this morning. Joshua wandered to the bathroom to wash his face and run a brush through his hair before heading back to his room to get dressed. Fourteen minutes after his departure he came walking down the stairs, dressed and armed. He gave a yawn, half theater and half still him waking up, and led the way out of the house.
“So, ya know where we’re headed after morning coffee?”

“I don’t play video games!” Hana loudly retorted, sticking out her tongue at him like a kid. However, once she realized her childish behavior, her eyes went wide and she covered her mouth. Her cheeks turned a deep red and she glared at him. “Look what you made me do! Mama would have me thrashed if she saw such behavior,” Hana said as she followed him up the stairs.

“And where are you going? Coffee is outside!”

Hana had already done her morning routine. She did not expect Josh to have one, so she ended up being patient and waiting in the hallway for him. She stood calmly at the top of the stairs, thinking to herself about whatever she could to distract herself from everything wrong. When he finally came back out, her eyes widened, brightening some. "Yes, I do," Hana nodded and gestured for him to follow. "Today, we train. I will not be caught so weak again."

Joshua’s only real response to her comment about her mother was a bark of laughter, and that was as close to addressing that as he really wanted to get. As he met up with Hana again, she answered his question and yet managed to not. As Hana started leading them away Joshua stepped up, spun them around, and headed back towards the businesses.
“Well yeah, I kinda figured that much. I more meant did ya know where we’re going to do that?” he asked with a bit of a chuckle. He led the way to the coffee place, ordering a surprisingly simple black coffee to take with him. After that he let Hana lead the way, making some small talk on the way.

Hana might have forgotten about going to the coffee shop, or she just didn’t want to. She wanted to train! That was why she had her zanpakuto and was ready to go! However, Josh needed his coffee, so they were turned around. Puffing out her cheeks ever so slightly in a pout, Hana followed him to his coffee shop of choice. Once they were out, however, she led them along.

“We’re not going back to the Seireitei,” Hana said and began moving away from the Rukongai. “With so much destroyed, too many of our Division-mates will be flocking to train, wanting to make up for their failures, no differently than I am. I would rather avoid the humiliation of failing in front of them…”

With shunpo, they would arrive in a clear area to train in about thirty minutes, but if they walked, it would take a couple of hours. So, Hana gave Josh time to drink his coffee before hurrying on. "Now that we are here, I plan to train until my body gives out. It is the only way to get stronger. Clearly, I have not learned enough... He was able to defeat me so easily. It will not happen again."

Joshua followed along as Hana spoke, letting her get her thoughts out as they went. He sipped his coffee, and judged his words carefully. There were conversations that needed to happen, that had been put off. Just because you put off paying a tab though, doesn’t mean it won’t come due. He’d pick his time for that though all the same; he wasn’t sure Hana was ready to hear what he was gonna say anyway. That coin was in the air. After he had finished his coffee, Hana picked up the pace. She was certainly more motivated than when they’d last trained, that was for sure. That motivation could be put to good use; it was a fire in her belly, and with it as fuel she could certainly grown and accomplish a lot.

The problem with fire was that it could burn up what ya put it in.
“Well, ya could do that but it’ll probably leave ya worse off,” Joshua said, largely in response to her threat to train until she gave out.
“And besides, it isn’t all on you Hana. It ain’t all yer fault. Ya can lay some of that blame at my feet, and ya’d be right in doing so,” Joshua said; he had more to say, but he expected a reaction to his words. He’d been careful about saying them in that specific order for the last ten days.

He had picked his time.

“Then so be it,” Hana replied. If it left her worse off, then fine. It meant she learned something new. Hana had a very important goal that she must complete, or she would never be able to move on in this world. It had already been decided… However, as Joshua continued, she turned to face him and raised a doubtful eyebrow. “And what makes you say that?” she said, a hint of frustration already leaking in her tone. She would never blame him for what happened. He came to rescue her and was horribly hurt in the process. She couldn't unseen that, or what Akira did to Koga. She could never unseen that.

“Because I didn’t train ya right. Which isn’t the same thing as saying I didn’t train ya well, but...” Joshua started to try and explain, then let out a huffed breath. There was an easier way. He looked back at Hana.
“Come at me, like ya would in a fight,” Joshua said. He watched as Hana drew her blade and came at him, and his mistake was staring him in the face.

He’d been naive, and maybe stupid.

Joshua made a motion, his own blade jumping from its sheathe and intercepting the swing from Hana. The motion was crisp and clean and nothing like the strikes he’d taught Hana. They weren’t like the strikes from the Academy. They were contained and precise; he struck her blade low near its center of mass then shifted it and continued the motion.

Hana found Joshua’s blade against her neck.

“I helped ya train in how to fight monsters, because that was what ya were supposed to be fightin’. I was dumb, and didn’t teach ya how to fight monsters that walk around lookin’ like people because I hoped ya wouldn’t have to meet one so soon. That is my fault, and I’m sorry,” Joshua said, lowering his blade. There had been none of the snark or bravado that he normally carried, just something sterner and weathered.

Hana’s brow furrowed at that first sentence. He didn’t train her right? Hana’s concern might have been lined with a layer of paranoia as she wondered whether their previous training and spars had been ways to sabotage her. Was it intentional? Is that why she kept failing so many of her missions for so long?! Being told to come at him, Hana drew her sword and moved in.

Hana wasn't even sure what happened. Her sword was forced to move by Josh. She couldn't counter, and suddenly his blade was at her neck. 'This is what he meant?' she thought, staring at Josh in horror as he explained himself. Hana stepped back, putting some distance between the two of them. Her emotions ranged from confusion to rage, and she had no idea how to handle it. 'I was trained wrong!?' she thought, taking a shaky breath and facing away from him.

'That's okay.'

'How is that okay? I don't understand! If he trained me right, mayb-...'

'You would have lost anyway.'

'What? Why would you say that?'

'Cease that childish blame-game right now, Hana. That man is out of your reach, whether you were trained to fight hollow or mankind. His reiatsu dominated your own so thoroughly that you could not move. It was not just his words that kept you still, girl. It was his power. If you wish to confront him, to defeat him... kill him... then you need power even greater than that.'

'How do I bridge such a gap?'

'Start by accepting this man's offer. He claims he is here to help, so do not let your anger cloud your judgement and learn whatever it is he feels he can offer.'

Hana nodded, seemingly to herself, tightening her grip on her zanpakuto and turning to face Josh again. "Apology accepted. How do I learn how to do this right? I need to know how to fight him, so do not hold back. You owe me that."

Joshua had expected some of this, though honestly he had also expected a lot more shouting. He expected Hana to rage at him, yell at him, and maybe even take a swing; he wouldn’t have blamed her for it either. Yet, her response was different. She turn away, and for several seconds she seemed distracted. Her breathing steadied, and Joshua could take an educated guess at what was transpiring; either she was talking with herself in her head, or she was talking with her zanpakuto spirit. Either way, Joshua let the silence hang in the air as Hana got her thoughts under control. Once she had them all lined up in a neat row, she turned back and responded to him.

Joshua raised an eyebrow at the sudden acceptance, but nodded.

“We take ya back to yer fundamentals in some ways, and I show you a different way of fighting. Like I said, I didn’t train ya fer what yer looking to do now but that doesn’t mean I didn’t train ya well. And Zanjutsu is not useless against people; its a method of cutting, and be it wood or fruit or flesh a cutting motion will do its purpose. You learned how to cut down monsters; now we teach you how to kill men,” Joshua said. After a moment he frowned, considering something.
“Women too, to be clear.”

Joshua cracked a small smile at the joke, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. He looked down at his blade a moment before sighing.
“I’d really hoped ya wouldn’t ever need me to teach ya this. Alas, that hand has been dealt. Much of what you’ve learned already is at its core still useful. The motions are different though. The scale is different. Zanjutsu, the combat form that is, is all about fighting Hollows and their ilk. Hollows are almost always bigger then us, tougher than us, and they don’t care much about getting sliced up. People are different; more fragile,” Joshua explained, sliding into a stance. He sheathed his blade again.
“Come at me again, quarter the speed of last time. I’ll show ya both how what I did was both similar to and different from what you already do.”