Strong and Afraid [Tento | Kaminari]

Straight and still Tento slacked his extended hand as Kaminari accepted the paperwork. Taking only a few steps to meet her before stepping back into place. It was true to say that he was acting far less casual with her due to his expectation of anger and harshness from her. But also unease. He was expecting a thrashing from the upper ranks due to her having to do a report after all. She had to due to the case, but all the same it was a bit…of an uncomfort. The sight of her was a reminder of his failure, and the flicker of loss of control that could have gone a lot worse in truth.

What if the hollow had consumed him at that moment? Or did more than stop him for simply just moving? What if he lost control, true control in inability to tell friend from foe. What if he had attacked her? Harmed her? The thought was down right angering, sickening, and worse…guilt producing…

Externally he would only give a quick nod though at her thanks. Not sure what the report was in fact as he had not bothered to look at it. It was not a co op thing from what he was told and was only stuff she needed to see. He wished it was the only thing she could do right now. The look up and down felt like a size up. A measurement. Examined. It bit and stung at his self conscious mind like that of a needle tipping at the exposed nerve. Even at her behest he just…couldn't move his arms from behind him.

“I am, fine”.

He just kinda shifted his eyes. This time looking Kaminari up and down. Rather quickly. It was a bit different in the hue of his eyes darker in shade as if in a back and forth conversation. No soft twist of a smirk in admiration of well made tones. No lingering at curves. But a desperate need for an update. And after a while of doing so he would shift his gaze back up. But his eyes clearly to the side of Kaminari's face, not able meet her gaze.

“I...it. Looks like your injures have healed completely”, his voice tethered on what it wanted to say. To communicate. A small color of brightness returning. Relief. A featherweight floating in his air in contrast to the stiffness and weighted pressure he felt on his sandals as he stood before her as if in a slowly activating quicksand.

Tento wasn’t fine; he was stiff. He should be, at least around her. He had made unwanted advances during their time in the world of the living, withheld crucial information for battle, and then lost control in the midst of the fight. He deserved to feel worried, to feel guilty. It was how he would learn to never do that again.

“My injuries were, luckily, minor,” Kaminari faced him, her expression falling to annoyance. He wanted to be yelled at, it seemed. “Your decisions on the battlefield could have gotten both of us killed. You were selfish and stupid to keep that information from me, from any superior officer. What were you thinking?!”

It's fine, it's fiiiine. Tento was well and good with keeping that external persona. Stiff was what he wanted to show, and he wanted to show a more very hard professionalism. He gave a nod at her mention of her injuries being no issue. One of many mental concerns was resolved for him…for now.

Now what was he still here for? He had delivered what he was asked to. He had a hard timing figuring that out as he just stood there. Eyes shifting to meet Kaminari's gaze. Legs still arms still behind his back.

Selfish. Stupid.

For a bit of time he did not say anything. Could not say anything. He was silent for what felt like a long time.

“I was…thinking we were in the middle of battle and that we had to fight. Distractions, was not an option. Would me telling you in the middle of the fight really have helped you? Or would you have just been distracted and angry? Would your focus and belief that i would fight be different??", Tento began keeping his posture.

"I had made my report when I had first met and fought that Arrancar. And I came at her all the same as any enemy when she appeared and made her motives clear. She sided with the enemy. Thus she is our enemy.. She wanted to aid the unknown in causing chaos. A threat to the Gotei. A threat to the world of the living She was to be fought and put down. It does not matter if I knew her before hand or not. Nor who she was", Tento said this after that pause. A long hard coldness coming from his words. Serious, and committed.

It was not like a big bond had been made anyway…

If Amaranta was going to threaten thousands of souls for the pursuit of fighting and her amusement. Threaten the balance of the world or the Gotei United. Then he would fight her just as he had.

My my my, you talk a big game outside little Shinigami.

“Do not patronize me!” Kaminari raised her voice, her tone stern. “You could have explained your situation both with the Arrancar and with your hollowfication before we left the Soul Society, or when we first arrived, or the days leading up to the fight. You had ample time to make me aware of your situation and you chose not to. It was foolish. It was selfish, and it will not be tolerated again. Understood?”

Kaminari had more to say, much more, but it was mostly out of her hands now. If anyone was to take further action against Tento and his relationship with Arrancar, then it would be the First. Still, the actions the Gotei United had taken were becoming more and more angering for Kaminari. Vizards in their ranks? She could see that. She could learn to accept it, but there was an ARRANCAR too. Shameful.

“Is there anything else you need, Tento Zefa?” Kaminari said, looking into his eyes with a hidden fierceness, something behind her eyes daring him to stay here longer. She was quickly learning to hate this place… She needed a drink...

Wh…what? Patronize her? Patronize!? What in the world was she?? She was his ranked superior and comrade. Even if she was severely mad at him and they were not getting along. He would never look down on her, anyone. Tento felt something tightened and his body just shut down as she raised her voice, finding no point to respond to Kaminari at her immediate words. It was, all just so illogical. Angry. Did she expect him to know the future!? “What, are you saying?? Explain my hollowfication before we left? Does every vizard have to go around giving their own story of how they are the way the are?? How would I be able to tell that would happen, I can't tell the future? Why WOULD that information even be needed when going out to battle from ground zero, or before, readying up to before we expected to fight when there was other things to attend to? My hollowfication frankly has nothing to do with you, nor do you have a right or obligation to know. It is on my file, that is enough if you want to go looking”, Tento said in a stern voice of his own. “And Explain the situation with the Arrancar? Hooooooow, we were in the middle of battle. If I got distracted speaking she would have put me into the ground and then there would have been two versus you”, Tento asked this with generous wide eyes in disbelief and confusion showing in his tone.

It just did not make sense to him. He had fought alongside her before. He showed he was a warrior that would fight hard and to his best. But results were all the same even in regards to that. They failed. People died. And his part in it was a big factor in why it happened. Ughhh…maybe he should just stop this and go back to the barracks…

Holding in a sigh, he bit his tongue for saying more that could cause Kaminari's wrath to grow more than now. “Yes ma'am. I understand you. If there is nothing else I will take my leave now”, Tento said before waiting to turn and just get out of here for the day.

Kaminari was not one of those idiot women who thought being disrespectful was some positive trait. It was not a source of entertainment where she would smirk and say ‘oh, this one has spunk.’ No. Talking back to a superior officer was rarely acceptable, especially with how Tento was currently expressing it. If you had something to say, you ask to speak frankly or apologize ahead of time for doing so. Any good soldier knew that, and that is what Shinigami in the Gotei were. They were soldiers! It seemed many forgot that. They seemed to forget more than she did…

“Yeah, fine,” she said, waving her hand to shut him up. “I will give you the credit with the Arrancar; that you could not have foreseen, but what you don’t seem to understand is that not being perfectly clear with your condition could get someone else killed! I was relying on you. You were my partner and you failed me. If I had known, we could have discussed options, techniques, an escape plan, or a way for me to help keep you in control. But I did not get that chance, did I? That is why you are clear with those you work with.” She stopped and took a deep breath.

“Until you… Until this situation, I never thought I had to read through everyone’s file in order to get the information I need,” Kaminari said, her voice calmer but still tense. “You taught me a new lesson: There is no trusting anyone here.”

On and on the two of them went at each other. Polite agitation one would lie to day describing it by sight. The air telling a different story. Tento found this all disrespectful but…not untrue. Not one thing had she said in response to his counterpoints was not a single inaccuracy. It dug deep due to that. She did. And it made him act out of character, make him feel like crawling in a shell and bite back. To respond. To be honest and yet to not be at the same time.

At least she was giving him credit and calming down a bit… He had no idea Amaranta would be there nor that she would be on the enemy side. But being so headstrong on knowing that he was a vizard beforehand was something that was giving him a bit of a headache. And her words stung. Reliance. Partner. Failed.

He could have gotten her killed. He could have gotten others killed. It was distressful and it showed in a glimpse as he grabbed a piece of his hair and sighed before falling quickly back to his hands behind his back. This time he had nothing to say. Not out of order nor a request to speak. He looked on at Kaminari. His brain buzzing with thoughts and a layer of hatred aimed at his own spirits.

He had messed up. And he knew it.

The following silence let Kaminari know he got the point. Gotei members relied on each other to survive. If they could not trust each other in combat, there would be no Gotei, which… well… Kaminari pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. She needed nothing more from him and had no interest in arguing further.

“Next time, hopefully you will consider the safety of those around you. If not, you may get them killed..." Kaminari said and turned back to the dummies she had been practicing on. "Thank you for the delivery... I need to get back to training."

Stuck in a well of silence, Kaminari's words hang in the air and ring within his ears. Tento's arms fell from behind his back. He got it. He did through all the…emotions exchanged between the two. He just hoped his superior understood where he was coming from here. The perspective of an outsider within the Gotei. A new soul was one thing in comparison to the hundreds and thousand of year old ones, but the fact that he had a hollow within. Through all the textbook lessons in Shino, history, the social political changes, it did little to change the hearts and minds of people who had been use to something for so so so long. The unease, could never be truly hidden, they could be accepted and dolled up in gestures. But genuinely Tento felt like there was a question of who he was. Shinigami or Hollow.

The less people that panicked internally about him being a part of the vizards when he was just trying to fit in, the better.

With a short bow he turned, exiting the barracks.