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[Spirit Class 6] Meninas McAllon
Sun Oct 29, 2023 1:36 pm
INFORMATION DOSSIER
Basic Information
○ Name: Meninas McAllon ○ Alias: Meni ○ Age: 21 ○ Gender: Female ○ Race: Quincy ○ Affiliation: Vandenreich ○ Marital Status: Single ○ Nationality: Scottish ○ Sexual Orientation: Lesbian ○ Special Skill: Punching ○ Ideal Mate: Sweetheart and a good cuddler ○ Height: 6'3 ○ Weight: 165lbs ○ Hair Colour: Pink ○ Eye Colour: Green |
Psychological Analysis
Meninas is a loyal woman who has an incredible fondness for those she is close to, willing to put herself in harm's way in order to protect them. She is willing to do anything for them and that can sometimes reach a level of extremity that can be considered quite disturbing. Killing for those she cares for is well within her limits and the woman has no problem with taking a life but she is not an adrenaline junkie or bloodlust chaser, instead fighting with a brutal and almost cold efficiency. Her loyalty extends to the organisation who took her in and she will take on any mission that is given to her, without any complaint or questioning from her. Loyal to a fault? Yes, that is a fair description of her but those who have earned it will soon find that she makes an incredibly effective and rather sweet ally.
She does not talk an awful lot and tends to keep her thoughts in her head rather than stating them out loud, giving her the impression that she is simply a brawny thumper. While she is a woman of action, that does not mean that she is stupid and when in the company of those she gets along with, she can open up over time, even showing a kind of ditzy sense of humour on occasion. Meninas wants to make friends and get along with her comrades, it is just that sometimes she can be a little awkward with her words and the pink haired woman also has a habit of stating the obvious or missing the point during a conversation, adding to the unfair viewpoint that she is a little dim.
In combat, Meninas fights in a highly aggressive style, attempting to bash her foes to pieces into submission and beyond. She struggles to draw the line on occasion and if angered, will kill without remorse or restraint, using every ounce of strength and power that her well built frame provides her. As a child, she was taught not to offer mercy to her opponents and that is a lesson that she still lives by to this day. More often than not, she will finish her enemies, unless strictly ordered otherwise. A dead opponent cannot come seeking revenge against her or her friends, after all.
RELATIONSHIPS
Hamish McAllon: Meninas was utterly devoted to her father and was willing to move Heaven and Earth in order to earn his approval. They were incredibly close and due to her hard working nature, became his favourite over time. He trained her in the ways of the Quincy and helped her become accustomed to her powers, as well as introduce her to the martial arts that she came to love and dedicate herself to. If it wasn't for him, she'd never have grown to become the woman she is today. Unfortunately, she couldn't save him from her brother's cowardly attack and he passed away but not before confirming his pride and love for her. She thinks of him every day and hopes that he is looking down upon her.
Stephen, Stuart, Stefan and Steve McAllon: Meninas's older brothers who she wasn't all that close to. Arrogant and egotistical, they were all incredibly boastful about their abilities and never missed an opportunity to talk down to her. They were unwilling to actually work for their money and instead expected handouts from their father, which he was never keen on doing. This laziness and greed was what eventually led to them attempting to steal the family fortune but in an incredibly violent fight against both father and daughter, they'd all be killed in combat by Meninas. She doesn't miss them and believes that their deaths were deserved.
BACKGROUND INFORMATION
The McAllon family were a pureblood line of Quincy who lived in a grand mansion in the north of Scotland. Rich due to the land that had been passed down from father to son, the family weren’t short of anything and employed a great number of workers to plough the fields and take care of the cattle and crops. It could have been an easy life for the children but the current head of the household was keen to have his five offspring work hard for what they had, encouraging them to work in the fields as well, to see what life was like in the outside world, so to speak. There were four boys and one girl, each one gifted not only in the Quincy arts but physically as well but along with this came ego and for the four boys at least, were rather self entitled and argued regularly with their father about the manual work that they were ordered to do.
The daughter, Meninas, eager to prove that she was willing to do what was asked of her, happily worked in the fields from an early age, learning the farming trade and making friends with the workers. She didn’t miss a day and it was rare that she wasn’t the first one up and about, her distinctive pink coloured hair making her rather hard to miss. Every day she would be out there from dark till dusk, doing whatever was required of her and in the evenings, she’d be training either her body or Quincy skills. Blessed like her brothers but somewhat lacking in the arrogance department, she simply got on with things without complaint. Her attitude brought her closer to her father, who was similar to her in that regard and she became his favourite as the years went by. So much so that he would occasionally give her one to one lessons, a secret from the other children. She was the future of the family in his eyes and in return, Meninas was incredibly loyal to him.
Yet, as the years went by, there became unrest in the family, as her brothers became increasingly frustrated by their father’s ways. The arguments became more vicious and over time, the tension grew and grew. There was hatred growing within the four young men and eventually it was going to reach a climax. Both Meninas and her mother could see it coming and expecting something to happen, the youngest of the five McAllon’s increased her level of training, wishing to defend her father if something went awry. There wasn’t even a decision in her mind as to who she’d support when things came to ahead. Her brothers had never been all that kind to her and had mocked her constantly for both her attitude and strength. The ironic part of the latter being that Meninas had already knocked them all out in sparring in the past. Boxing, wrestling and kickboxing were her martial arts of choice and her father had blessed her choices, passing on what he knew of them.
At 6’3 and with all those years of training and fieldwork behind her, Meninas had grown into an incredibly fit and well built young woman. She was able to do the work of several men and her strength had reached a level that was considered almost uncanny. Whenever someone needed something to be lifted, she’d be the one they’d call and soon enough, she was able to quite easily lift vehicles around, both small and large, swinging them like a baseball bat if needed. In the physical department, she was superior to all of her brothers and while at first her sparring had been against one, she eventually started taking in more than one. Her might, speed and durability were increasing all the time and being punched by her was like being shot by a cannon. She never stopped her training either and with her skill in the three disciplines she’d chosen, fighting her physically became a daunting task for anyone she practised with. Her father had even put up against a few national champions, some of the toughest men and women in Scotland and she took them out as though they were raw rookies. Her body was the most powerful weapon in her even increasing arsenal.
She wasn’t negligent when it came to her Quincy powers either and her Blut in particular was notably powerful, with her over time learning how to switch from Arterie to Vene almost without thinking. It was the most natural of the four arts for her and the one that aided her the most, amplifying her already formidable close ranged skills. Her Gebet was sound and while not quite to the level of her Blut, Meninas was able to learn four of the initial spells, as well as how to store her spiritual energy into tubes in order to help her cast them quickly. To be able to unlock her Vollständig was a particular source of pride for her and while she lagged behind her brothers in achieving it, the dedication she had to mastering it was second to none. Steigen was an art that she quite enjoyed from the start and while her footspeed was already swift, the ability to actually surf in the air so to speak was amazing. She could keep up with her brothers when it came to it and could sometimes beat them when they showed off. Her Kruezen training, however, was a little more unusual, as rather than a bow, Meninas actually created a pair of gauntlets instead, amplifying the force of her already immense punches. It was peculiar for sure and something she was mocked for but eventually, she was able to form her bow and spent a great deal of time on her archery. She would probably always be more of a brawler but Meninas developed enough to be able to fight at longer range when necessary.
As she grew into her late teens, her father was far more lenient with her when it came to work and given how much she’d done for the family, granted her more time to pursue her own hobbies. Naturally, Meninas spent most of that free time training even harder and it was rare that he was not smiling whenever he saw her in the family grounds, pushing herself to the limit, a pink haired figure who’d be darting from one end of it to the other. Her brothers no longer wished to spar with her at that point, arrogant and egotistical, so she simply trained alone for hours. She wished to succeed but for her family rather than herself. The time would come when her brothers would finally finish scheming and do something, which would only lead to harm. She wished to be able to stop them when they made the move.
That time came some time later, during another argument between her father and her oldest brother. As it often was, it was about money and the voices of the two men could soon be heard filtering through the large manner. Even outside, Meninas could hear it and after about five minutes of arguing, she heard the sound of a Quincy bow being fired, at the same moment, she felt the spiritual pressure of the two men increase. Alarmed, the youngest McAllon made to go back into the house but she found herself facing two of her brothers, Vollständig activated, weapons aimed at her. In a moment, she vanished, using her Steigen to disappear, leaving an after image behind for her brothers. She reappeared behind them a moment later, activating her own Vollständig, before launching a powerful strike from the pink dumbbell that was in her right hand. Her movement was so fast that neither of her kin sensed her, resulting in her scoring a direct hit, her attack slamming into the face of her second oldest brother and launching him backwards, sending him crashing into a tree and knocking it over. Her second attacker, the third oldest, swung violently and turned around, only to find himself being struck in turn by Meninas’s second strike, attacking with the dumbbell in her left hand. The sound it made on contact was horrible and he flew back in the opposite direction, hitting one of the farming sheds hard and smashing it to pieces.
Her expression remained so calm although one look at her green eyes would tell that she was fuming inside. Her spiritual pressure was thick and heavy, enough to briefly give her the appearance of a pink haired demon. Without a moment wasted, she’d engage her brothers in a brutal battle, revealing to them the efforts of all of her training. It was a true example of what a Quincy could be and as she overwhelmed her kin, they soon began to realise the error they’d made. All of those years of insults and mockery were biting them in the ass and as she battered them to a pulp, her veins constantly changed colour as she easily switched between the two Blut. They scored a few hits against her but she held firm, her rock hard body handling it with little issue. She had been preparing for this for so long and by the time it was over, the two were helpless before her, twitching and struggling for breath. Yet, even then, they refused to submit and thinking back to what her father had said about her enemies, she’d deliver one final blow to each, putting them out of action for good.
Victorious, she’d use her Steigen to swiftly rise into the air and surf her way towards her father’s office, where the sounds of battle could soon be heard. Yet, again, her path was blocked by the youngest of her brothers, a couple of years older than her. He didn’t look quite so confident and as he looked past her to where the other two lay, his face turned pale and after thinking for a few moments, he turned to flee. Meninas, however, did not let him and darted towards him, her Steigen having managed to surpass him. Grabbing him by the back of his shirt, she’d viciously throw him downwards, causing him to crash through a greenhouse below. There was glass and blood everywhere, with Meninas being on top of him in moments. Desperately, he used his Blut to protect him but channelling her own into offensive power, the pink haired woman would unleash a barrage of blows from her dumbbells that made the earth shake. Offence met defence in a battle of wills but eventually, his faded, allowing Meninas to finish him off without remorse.
Leaving his body to rot, Meninas would then again leap into the air, travelling towards the office as quickly as her powers could take her. She could feel the men still fighting and as she smashed through the window and into the room, her eyes widened at the sight before her. The room was in pieces with the walls painted with blood. Both men were locked in close ranged combat, each with their Vollständig activated, blades constantly clashing against each other. Both were panting heavily although her father was notably having more trouble.
The pink haired woman charged forwards, intending to help her father but as sprinted across the wooden floor, her brother would laugh, break away from the exchange and take out a tube of spiritual energy, before dropping its contents on the ground. The moment he did, there was a violent explosion and the floor gave way, sending all three McAllon’s tumbling to the hard ground below.
By the time the blast faded and Meninas could regain her bearings, her eyes would fall upon her father, breathing shallowly, a large piece of wood embedded in his chest. It was a horrible wound and as she scrambled over to him, she could already tell that he was in serious trouble. His spiritual pressure was fading fast and he was bleeding all over the place. He needed healing fast but Meninas had no way of doing so, not having learned a healing spell. Silently berating herself, she’d kneel by his side and apologise but he merely laughed instead, a proud smile on his face, before revealing that he’d left everything to her. All of his wealth would be hers because she’d actually made the effort to earn it and that was enough for him. Praising her, he’d then turn towards his last son, who was red with rage at hearing that he’d been left out and laugh, before passing away, leaving Meninas to grieve.
Enraged, her brother would reach for another tube but Meninas was ready, summoning her bow and unleashing one immense shot that struck him directly in the head, killing him instantly, as she’d been taught.
Once it was all over, she’d simply kneel by her father’s side, her rage at her brothers giving way to be replaced by anguish. It had all come to pass and in the end, she was left alone. To make matters even worse, she’d come across her mother, peppered by arrows. Her grief was incredible and after burying her parents in the family plot, while leaving her brother's bodies to be pecked at by the crows, she’d then deal with the aftermath of the whole affair. She’d never been good at paperwork but thankfully most of it had already been prepared. Her father was an incredibly prudent man, after all and had her welfare at heart.
Yet, the mansion was simply not the same anymore and so she’d leave it in the capable hands of the farmers, allowing them to live there with their families, along with a fair amount of her new found wealth. They’d worked so hard to earn it after all, so why not share the wealth? She kept plenty for herself though and soon enough began to travel, wishing to explore a world that she had so little experience with. It was not a trouble free trip and she fought numerous Hollows, humans and everything else that stood in her way but she never stopped training, her skills growing even further still.
Eventually, the life of the traveller began to wear thin and while she enjoyed protecting those in need, she missed that sense of loyalty that she felt towards her father. She wanted something to count on again and that was what eventually led her to the Vandenreich, where she could use her skills for a greater cause, one she could fully get behind.
EQUIPMENT
○ Ginto: Meninas keeps at least a dozen Ginto with her at all times in case she needs to quickly cast a spell.
POWERS AND SKILLS
○ Immense Strength: Meninas was unnaturally strong ever since she was a child and having spent years working the fields and constantly training, her strength had reached ridiculous levels, able to easily lift the heaviest vehicles and able to swing and throw them as though they were nothing.
○ Unnatural Durability: While her durability isn’t quite as immense as her strength, Meninas is still rather tough to damage. Her torturous training regime has done wonders for her body and she can take the most powerful of strikes, while continuing to move forward. It sometimes appears as though she’s unaffected by an opponent's attacks but the truth is that she just has a high tolerance for pain and can keep fighting, sometimes against her own common sense.
○ Incredible Speed: While known mostly for her power, Meninas isn’t lacking when it comes to speed either and she can keep up with most opponents that she’s required to fight, even without using her Quincy powers. She is able to quite easily blitz past a moving vehicle and once she’s on the hunt there’s not much that can stop her. All of those years training has done wonders for her stamina too and she can quite easily run for hours upon hours without having to stop. During her time since leaving her home, this has proven useful in her travels.
○ Expert Martial Artist: Having studied the arts of boxing, wrestling and kickboxing from an early age, Meninas is incredibly well versed in the three. She defeated multiple national champions in each field while a teenager and her skills have only increased since then. If she wished to become a world champion then she could well do so, if her goals weren’t directed elsewhere. In battle, she’s able to switch between the three quite easily and trying to grapple with her is probably a pointless endeavour for most people she faces.
○ Strong Willpower: With the countless hours of training that Meninas has put into increasing her skills, she has gained a never say die attitude, one which not only allowed her to defeat her brothers in battle but all of her fights since. Meninas doesn't scream or shout about her desire to win but it can always be seen in those green orbs of hers.
○ Well Focused: Having to live with the constant taunting from her kin, Meninas has deveoped a rather thick skin, allowing her to shrug off insults and focus entirely on what she's doing. She can effectively channel out any unpleasant words or actions and instead direct her attention where it's needed most. It's incredibly useful in battle, where she's able to face multiple foes without losing track of them.
QUINCY ABILITIES
○ Blut: Of the four Quincy arts, her most impressive is most likely her Blut. It’s the most natural to her and she trained extensively in order to be able to switch between the two forms with hardly any cooldown at all. During her fights with her brothers, she used it extensively and because of it, she was able to not only defend herself but deliver a vicious pounding, able to overwhelm them with her own. Its use is as easy as breathing now to her and she constantly tried to develop the technique further, hoping to master it.
○ Steigen: Steigen took some time for her to become used to but Meninas was swiftly able to catch and overcome her brother's use of the technique once she did. She's able to easily surf the skies at this point and has started to develop her abilities further, being able to create a rather simple after image of herself but it's an ability that she had yet to fully master although she strives to do so. She was slow to start with but now one of her best skills, Meninas can be difficult to catch in a heated encounter.
○ Gebet: Meninas is decently skilled in spellcraft and is capable of using the first four spells that Quincy are taught, including Volstandig. She’d be the first to admit that there is a great deal of work for her to do in that area of study but Meninas continues to practise regularly and always carries a good supply of Ginto with her if she needs it.
○ Kruezen: Unlike her kin, Meninas didn’t actually create a bow as her fist weapon and instead formed a pair of gauntlets instead, much to the amusement of her brothers. Yet, she soon became skilled with them and was soon able to channel her energy and batter her jealous brothers from pillar to post. After a great deal of work, she was finally able to form a bow as well although it lacks much in the way of special abilities. It almost seems as if Meninas was destined to fight at close range which actually quite suits her.
SPIRIT WEAPON
○ Name: Bonebreaker
○ Appearance: Bonebreaker takes on the form of a pair of pink coloured gauntlets that covers the entirety of Meninas’s arms. They don’t appear to be threatening at all and look almost fluffy when looked at, however, that is merely a front and for those who feel their might, they’ll soon understand why.
○ Abilities: Bonebreaker Bash: By charging her spiritual energy into her weapon, Meninas is able to unleash power punches that release a discharge on impact, resulting in her blows dealing damage in a cone beyond her opponent, harming anything that is unable to get out of the way in time. The range of the cone being 10 metres.
○ Name: Heartbreaker
○ Appearance: Meninas has quite a colourful bow that is decorated with pink coloured hearts and has a rather fluffy appearance to it, roughly the size of a typical long bow. The arrows it fires are also decorated in the same way, with the head of each one looking like a rather sweet pink heart.
○ Abilities: Meninas hasn't discovered any special abilites of her bow as of yet. She mainly just uses it when she's unable to get close.
VOLLSTANDIG
○ Vollstandig Name: Pornipora
○ Vollstandig Appearance: Meninas’s Volstandig causes a pair of large pink wings to spawn from her back on activation which are made up of three large segments. It also causes a fluffy suit of armour in the same shade of pink to cover her body, giving her the appearance of a catlike warrior. Meninas also sports a large pink dumbbell in each hand which she is able to use for close combat. If she happens to have Bonebreaker active at the time her Vollstandig is activated then her dumbbells will replace it, while gaining an improved version of its ability called Dumbbell Destruction.
○ Vollstandig Abilities:
Flight: Meninas is able to fly from the moment she activates her Volstandig.
Dumbbell Destruction: By charging her spiritual energy into her weapon, Meninas is able to unleash powerful strikes from her dumbbells that release a discharge on impact, resulting in her blows dealing damage in a cone beyond her opponent, harming anything that is unable to get out of the way in time. The range of the cone effect scales with her spirit class with the minimum range being 30 metres. In its enhanced state, this ability will stun all opponents who are caught either by a strike or the discharge caused from it. The stun lasts two posts against an opponent with a lower spirit class than Meninas. one against an opponent whose sprit class matches Meninas's and an opponent with a higher spirit class than hers is unaffected by it. Once a target has been stunned, they cannot be again for 2 posts after it ends.
Dumbbell Smash: Meninas punches the ground with her dumbbells, causing a bed of pink spikes to burst up in a circle around her, puncturing any target who is unable to escape them and immobilising them for a post. The radius of this ability scales with her spirit class with the minimum being 50 metres. The stun lasts two posts against an opponent with a lower spirit class, one against an opponent whose spirit class matches Meninas's own and an opponent with a spirit class higher is unaffected by it. Once a target has been stunned, they cannot be again for 2 posts after it ends.
SKILL SHEETS AND INFORMATION
General Skills
- Durability: C
- Speed: D
- Strength: B
- Soull: D
Quincy Skills
- Blut: Advanced
- Steigen: Adept
- Gebet: Adept
- Kruezen: Adept
Will Skills
- Willpower/Determination: Adept
- Mental Deduction: Beginner
- Focus: Adept
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Re: [Spirit Class 6] Meninas McAllon
Sun Nov 19, 2023 9:53 pm
[mod]
[/mod]
- Initial Grading:
History
So this isn't something you have to change as it is a sufficient flow of events, but I felt the need to tell you as I was reading; your history isn't quite written like a summary of your character's life, sure there are life details in there and that is fine, but there's just as much written as a push for her capabilities in such a way it doesn't flow with the history.
If your concern was justifying her skills through her history, there wasn't a need to highlight her specific capabilities so much with all this highly specific calling out for them; you could have just stuck to them being general events where she would have reasonably utilized these things, you don't need to detail every little bit of her training or usage to prove she can do it.
Again, it isn't anything you have to change, the history is sufficient as it is, i'm more or less just giving you advice as a writer.
Spirit Weapon
Bonebreaker Bash
Vollstandig
Warrior's Might: Vollstandig already gives you a percentage increase to all of your capabilities (Her current level in Gebet boosts it by 200%), so this trait is kind of excessive, especially if she were to get to higher levels. I advise you lower the percentage boost to like 30% at most, or just remove it outright.
Dumbbell Destruction
Dumbbell Smash
Skills
So a few of these are kind of off with her currently established capabilities, so i'm going to ask you to adjust them as so (you can add more justification for the desired levels if you so wish):
Her stated level of Strength is being able to comfortably handle cars and similarly heavy objects; these sufficiently describe an Advanced level of strength, so with what's currently established i'm going to ask you to drop it down to there. But I will have to ask you to remove the mention of her being able to lift buildings; it's pretty nonspecific and if it's meant for larger buildings, far above her currently established paygrade.
Her Durability doesn't state many specifics past being able to tolerate a tough opponent's strikes, alongside her fighting pretty typical spiritual opponents, additionally it's stated to be lesser than her strength, so it'd sufficiently fit Adept better.
Given it's the level that matches up with both her history and the trait's description, Adept would be a more accurate measure of speed.
I noticed your Quincy Skills are from the old sheet, so you're going to have to amend that, here's the skills (Gebet is Spellcraft, Kreuzen is Spirit Weapon, Steigen is Hirenkyaku; Reishi Absorption has been relegated to a SC-determined ability):
Quincy Skills
» Blut: Elite/Advanced/Adept/Beginner/Untrained
» Gebet: Elite/Advanced/Adept/Beginner/Untrained
» Kreuzen: Elite/Advanced/Adept/Beginner/Untrained
» Steigen: Elite/Advanced/Adept/Beginner/Untrained
Your app doesn't take note of any considerable level to her mental skills, so set them to Beginner or just add descriptions as previously advised.
- Second Check:
Bonebreaker Bash
Dumbbell Destruction
Dumbbell Smash
Alright, thank you for giving minimums, but they're pretty broad for what's functional in say, a combat situation. I'm gonna ask you to lower Bonebreaker Bash to 10 meters as well as removing the spirit class scaling (As it is an unreleased spirit weapon ability), Dumbbell Destruction to 30 meters (Given it's nature as a specific range attack), and Dumbbell Smash to 50 meters (With the understanding that it's meant to be a terrain attack move).
I would adjust the Gebet v Durability scaling to instead be a spirit class measurement for these kinds of abilities, as they're more of a 'how much is her energy affecting them' thing; higher classes would reasonably be able to resist attacks like this.
Reccomended stat changes are A-okay, but I will ask you to drop Steigen to Adept, as despite mentioning the benchmark requirement for Steigen, there isn't much past that to give the impression she's that level. Either add more specific usages, unique techniques, or drop it down.
- Approval:
Approved!
Spirit Class: 6
Skills
General
Durability: Adept
General Speed: Adept
Strength: Advanced
Martial Skill: Advanced
Will
Willpower/Determination: Adept
Mental Deduction: Beginner
Focus: Adept
Quincy
Blut: Advanced
Steigen: Adept
Gebet: Adept
Kreuzen: Adept
Hazard Ratings
Power: C
Influence: D
Resources: D
Overall: D
Notes: For the proletariat!
[/mod]
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Re: [Spirit Class 6] Meninas McAllon
Mon Nov 20, 2023 7:00 am
My apologies about the history. I definitely focused a little too much on skills rather than plot this time around and I understand the points you're making.
I took out the stat boosting skill from Meni's Vollstandig and tried to edit the abilities as you suggested. I wasn't certain if durability was the right stat to use against Meni's Gebet so I'll gladly edit that if necessary.
I also lowered the majority of the stats but I did add a section in natural abilities for both focus and willpower as I felt that Meni may have a case for adept in those due to her excessive amount of training.
I took out the stat boosting skill from Meni's Vollstandig and tried to edit the abilities as you suggested. I wasn't certain if durability was the right stat to use against Meni's Gebet so I'll gladly edit that if necessary.
I also lowered the majority of the stats but I did add a section in natural abilities for both focus and willpower as I felt that Meni may have a case for adept in those due to her excessive amount of training.
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Re: [Spirit Class 6] Meninas McAllon
Tue Nov 21, 2023 2:15 pm
All edits have been made.
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Re: [Spirit Class 6] Meninas McAllon
Sun Aug 18, 2024 1:08 pm
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