Who Am I [Shura/Yuuto]

TAGS; - here NOTES; - here WORDS; - here MUSE; - Who I am

Lately things hadn't been going well for a certain Shinigami to say the least, though whether that was her fault or someone elses wasn't even truly a question. Perhaps a month or two ago she'd have rebuked any notion that it was her fault, blame it on someone or something else and make some kind of argument that she felt sounded airtight. But this wasn't a month or two ago, this was reality and she knew such excuses were flawed from the outset. She was the one at fault.

From how she went about her letter sent to the various divisions all the way to her fight with Shishiyuki, there was only one event that happened during such things that weren't explicitly her fault... her interaction with Hitoshi. Yet even that event could be argued that she at the bare minimum played some part in, overly trusting in a family that clearly didn't care for her. She knew that now, from her birth her Father hated her for who she was and her Mother mostly tolerated her.

But the Gotei? She found some semblance of comraderie, even if she only saw others as a means to an end... an end that no longer mattered. Shura found herself struggling to do the thing she'd previously been beyond excited for, the one thing she had always been exemplary at. Fighting. For so long she had always had some reason to fight, some reason to train... Whether it was toi impress her Father or to be strong enough to protect her Brother... Both reasons now no longer existed.

She'd taken some time, talked with people she'd have otherwise never considered people she'd ever talk too. Namely Byakuya, who shed some much needed light upon her predicament with Hakaishin. She had a plan in mind for rememdying such a situation, and that plan started with a return to the Fifth Division and a second meeting with its Captain, Yuuto Hisakawa. She had sent a message ahead of her, admittedly it was missing quite a lot of both content and context, with the whole of the message simply being 'I need to speak with you again.' Though curiously while it was signed by Shura so Yuuto would know who sent it, it omitted her last name from the letter, though it was possible she simply didn't add it because of the brevity or perhaps importance of this meeting being immediate.

Whatever the reason she omitted such a thing, the letter itself arrived at the barracks but a few minutes before Shura did. Shura for her part did not either speak to anyone nor even address anyone, simply entering the barracks without a word and headed directly for Yuuto's office wherein she'd tap two times on the door "May I enter, Hisakawa Taicho?"

made by RR of DD, steal and i will sentence you to the true death!

TAGS; - here NOTES; - here WORDS; - here MUSE; - Who I am

Shura gave a brief bow before entering the room when the door was opened, moving in and sitting down and waiting for him to sit and speak before responding with a simple nod. "Firstly, let me thank you for meeting on such short notice. Secondly, The last time I was here, you spoke to me of Shuradō. While I had expressed a desire to learn it, truthfully there was much about myself and more importantly, my Brother, that had remained shrouded. As a result there were certain things that stopped me from earnestly pursuing it, however... Due to recent...." She paused for a moment, thinking about the next words before she continued.

"complications, I have found myself at a crossroads that I've never been at before. Obviously such things aren't new for me, however... This particular one is simply different than the others. A long story short, I want to not just learn Shuradō, I wish to Master it, no matter the cost." Shura did her best to remain calm and collected while she spoke, with only the middle portion having any lasting pause. However this also meant that her final few words came off rather uninspired.

made by RR of DD, steal and i will sentence you to the true death!

TAGS; - here NOTES; - here WORDS; - here MUSE; - Who I am

Shura took a moment to think, not because she doubted whether or not she knew... But because she wanted to be certain she knew what she was going to say. However not too much time did pass before she responded with a nod "I do, and having given it thought it is the only fighting style that complements me. Shuradō is all about maximum offense and minimal defense, while not only does my natural way of fighting lean into more offense than defense, but even both my Shikai and Bankai have limited defensive capabilities, preferring rapid and powerful strikes rather than slow, calculated ones."

Her brooding wasn't all for naught, truth be told much of it had been spent thinking about things such as this and how best to resolve them. This fighting style, Shuradō, was the perfect thing to compliment how she fought... and perhaps the key to other mysterious that still plagued her.

made by RR of DD, steal and i will sentence you to the true death!

TAGS; - here NOTES; - here WORDS; - here MUSE; - Who I am

She did remember admittedly, though... part of the reason she didn't bring it up was intentional. Even so she waited to speak as she watched him stand and begin to speak again, and she gave it several moments thought before she'd respond. Properly wording her sentences would be important that much she knew already "The Greater Questions... are not lost upon me, I promise you that. Before they probably would've been, however I've been given plenty of time to think about everything that I've done recently... The good and the bad."

She shook her head momentarily before she continued "Your question is a good one... However, for once my aims are not entirely selfish. To explain the entire reasoning would take at least a sizeable amount of time, but suffice it to say recent events with my Brother as well as my actions when dealing with other threads, and the consequences therein, have give me reason to pause and look inwards."

She took in another breath as she closed her eyes "However to at least answer your question as to what I gain from it, it will allow me to reconnect with my Zanpakuto. My Zanpakuto refuses to speak to me except in rare circumstances, in stark contrast to how one would be expected to act towards a Shinigami who has earned their Bankai. Through a conversation with Kuchiki-sama, I've come to the realization this is because I have grown soft in his eyes. We bonded through battle, through my insatiable desire to get stronger and to fight. After attaining Bankai however, I saw my strength as at its peak... There were none outside the Gotei that could defeat me. Thus our bond began to drift apart as my bloodlust was... sated."

She then motioned broadly towards the whole of Soul Society "However not only could my Bankai not harm Metatron, I then went on to repeat a mistake that nearly got me expelled from the academy. I not only wasn't as strong as I thought I was, I still had no control over my temper. The only difference this time, was I actually nearly killed them instead of just bruising them. It is for these reasons, and my Family's decision, that I am rededicating myself as a Shinigami. Which starts with reconnecting to my Zanpakuto... No matter the cost."

made by RR of DD, steal and i will sentence you to the true death!