Lost In The Rain [Saiko/Cala]

There was a deep softness to the touch of Cala. One that a lesser person could quickly lose themselves in, as it was nice to feel that tenderness amid a life where suffering, pain, and all things terrible lurked around every corner. Saiko seemed to smile at that moment before he spoke and her face turned into a more neutral expression.

"It's okay. No need to apologize. Although we both are guilty of that, I should have watched myself more, and I won't do it again in the future."

Giving a nod, she just remained quiet after that and watched Cala. A wealth of trauma was still in the woman's psyche, but she shook her head against the notion of making her worry about such things. Living your life in such a way where the actions of another easily triggers a person wasn't how Saiko wished to live. He did not need to walk on eggshells around her as that was her burden to deal with.

"I have trauma, but there isn't much to gain from dwelling on it. Treating it as if it doesn't have power over me is best. I see it, I feel it, but the more power I let it have over me, the greater influence it will have in my life until I'm surrounded in nothing but darkness and all the good things in life are taken from me."

That was the truth of it. If you keep allowing your mind to be a prisoner to the negativity in your life, there won't be any hope or happiness to be found in your life. This existence is hard, but it can be fought against, and it's why Saiko wanted to see that good in people to branch out of her sorrows and find the strength to smile each day.

Regardless, her attention was back to reality as she noticed Cala sounded distracted at first, smiling even before it faded, and this guy seemed to be all over the place. It was hard to get a good read on him, but he seemed friendly enough, and she still didn't perceive any dishonesty or reason to worry at the moment. This is why when they stopped under the glow of a streetlight, the woman raised her eyebrow and decided to ask what he meant by his other self.

"Hm? What do you mean you have another self? Is there some alter ego deal going on? It's not uncommon among demons, so I wouldn't be afraid of me being upset if that's how your body or powers work."

As Saiko touched on her past, referring to it as 'truama' in passing, Cala could tell that even that was an understatement. From what they had seen, what they had FELT, Saiko only seemed even more of a brave, kind soul to act as she did. A realization and viewpoint that made Cala's mouth feel dry just to hold her hand and look at her. As they came to a stop and Saiko raised their eyebrow, their guess was technically correct, and Cala bit their lip as they slowly nodded before opening their mouth quickly, then shutting it, and then shaking their head.

"N-No... ermm... Yes.... I-I mean.... We.. change....."

Cala would briefly motion down at their body.

"...physically..... and... umm... up here."

Cala tapped the side of their head, before gently releasing Saiko's hand and looking at themselves for a moment.

"Umm... it just ahh... they don't...."

Cala's features would scrunch in confusion, their eyes closing, and when they opened them they were obviously distressed and worried.

"O-Oh."

Cala would squirm uncomfortably, looking from themselves, to Saiko, then back to themselves, and back again to Saiko.

"Ermm.... w-well... now I know... w-why I've felt so... so.... ahh... different s-since we... I-I.... umm... whatever it was I did earlier."

Cala would look up at Saiko.

"O-Our other self is.... not watching. W-Which is... odd. Normally they always watch, to keep us safe and... I-I'm not..."

Cala's cheeks burned brighter as they looked down.

"I-I'm not a g-good fighter...."

Cala would chew their lip briefly, distracted, and their dainty nose would flare as they exhaled especially heavily.

"We don't th-think the same.... I dunno how they feel about me a lot of the times but I love them... a-as me... and someone else. B-But not like that! Ahh.... just... Ngghhh...."

Cala would groan softly in frustration and rub at their eyes, pouting.

"U-Umm.... they could maybe explain b-better..... but.... there's some of us we don't know... a-a lot we don't know actually. When we became an Arrancar uhhh.... we don't remember it a-at all..... not since that t-time stuff happened... w-we think. Well.... we are both curious a-and umm.. they're smarter than me s-so they sleep a lot inside... trying to figure it out a-and coming out when we need to fight a-and I... I umm... I just...... well... tell them stories I-I guess?"

Cala actually shrugged, modestly, and looked down. Scuffing the ground with their sandal as they laced their arms behind their back. Their voice growing softer.

"They've never not watched o-over me before....."

As Cala let go of the woman's hand, there was a lot of stuttering in the male's voice, making it somewhat hard to understand what he was saying. If nothing else, Saiko would have to fix that if they spent more time together. The woman could see he was struggling to talk, get concepts out and engage.

Still, from what she could hear from him in the beginning, a physical and mental change occurred with this creature. She figured that if this was a deal with alter-egos, perhaps his "other" side was the more aggressive thing. It wasn't uncommon in demons, so the same could theoretically be true of hollows with this type of disorder.

Regardless, she continued to observe him and remained silent as Cala opened himself up to her. Stating such things as the fact that he couldn't feel that "other" self watching him, he wasn't a good fighter and that they don't remember a lot of their life. Finally, with a nod, Saiko patted Cala's head and spoke.

"You've got a lot on your mind. I think you need to relax more as you are stumbling over your words, and you'll be able to convey your heart and thoughts to people better if you slow down and breathe."

A gentle smile came across the woman's face as she kept her gaze on him and continued speaking.

"And if he isn't watching you now, do not worry. I will watch over you for the night and make sure nothing happens, alright? That's what shinigami do."

Saiko then let herself chuckle a bit as the smell of eggs, fish, fries, and other delights started to overtake the area. As the two of them were walking, they were getting closer to a food venue, and her stomach was growling.

"C'mon, let's get your mind off of this and work on your social skills over some food, Cala."

Cala ducked their head gently as Saiko softly pet their head, feeling strangely nice at her touch in a way that left an unfamiliar tingling in the pit of their stomach, and Cala's hands softly clutched their stomach as they look down at her. It felt... odd. Even though, physically, Cala was taller than Saiko they still could not shake the sensation that Saiko towered over them. Not even necessarily because of how much stronger she was either, rather, something about her simply made them feel as if they should be looking up to her. For once, however, Cala did have the answer almost immediately, as Saiko helped them grasp it as she encouraged them to relax in their speaking and gave them a soft, gentle and heart-warming smile. That smile, that encouragement, and willingness to help reminded them of Ari and, frankly, Ari was the only other person still around who gave off that same sensation.

What followed, however, made Cala freeze and blink, rather rapidly, as Saiko offered to play the role of their other self and protect them for the night. THAT was something no one else had ever offered, mainly because no one else knew, but even so it still struck Cala and made them feel..... unbalanced. Did she even realize how odd, how good, how warm, it felt to have someone offer to be as close to you as part of your own soul? With a soft blush Cala couldn't help but twitch as that hazy, fluttery feeling in their stomach only grew worse, and they would give a distracted nod as Saiko offered to eat with them.

Joining Saiko to eat, and sheepishly sitting across from her, Cala would begin to dig into their things and offer Saiko money over the table. Their lavender eyes wide, earnest and beautiful as they nodded to Saiko. That warm, tingling sensation in their stomach briefly forgotten as honest kindness took it's place.

"H-Here. If... If you're going to be keeping me safe... a-and protecting me... then I at least want to pay it back."

Well, that was sweet of him to offer to pay for their meal. So, Saiko nodded, smiled, and responded to his kindness:

"Thank you, Cala! I hope you can afford to pay for it. Because, uh, I can eat a lot."

The woman scratched her nose playfully, knowing that her half-demonic, half-shinigami body could consume a lot of energy and calories. So, if her appetite got out of control, she would also offer to pay part of the bill.

When the menu came for the two of them, there were various foods to choose from. They varied from American food, traditional English food, Indian and even some Chinese. Whatever this place was, they catered to a global audience as London WAS a tourist paradise considering it was the hub of the United Kingdom.

After a while, Saiko pondered, shrugged, and ordered herself about three hamburgers with lettuce, pickles, and tomatoes. On top of that, she ordered two large fries, a shake, and a plate of brownies. Was it excessive? Perhaps, but she blushed and put her own money on the table before commenting.

"If you can't afford it, uh, I can also handle it. I can't really keep a lot of weight on my body, but I still eat a lot as I'll burn it up in combat or training at some point."

Blushing with a faint aqua-blue glow around her face, Saiko was mildly insecure about her habit; but she loved the taste of food, which helped her body a lot, so she hoped Cala would understand.

Cala went through a short series of somewhat intense emotions from the point they offered to pay for their dinner and Saiko returning the favor. First was a bit of awe and indecision, purely due to the sheer amount and variety of food on offer. Second came even more awe and surprise as Saiko ordered a ton of food for herself, an odd bit of mirth rising up in Cala at this and how... out of place it seemed for someone as small as her. Lastly came a soft smile and appreciation, if a bit of insecurity and anxiousness. Truth be told Cala COULDN'T afford to feed them both, as being a wandering Arrancar did not pay well after all, but they could pay for Saiko's food and that was what mattered. Truthfully they could subsist off eating other Hollows so this was just a luxury and, frankly, one that Cala was more than happy to share with her.

Raising a hand to their mouth Cala actually giggled a little as Saiko blushed, their cheeks rising in a hidden smile as they covered their mouth. They weren't laughing AT Saiko but more... holistically at the entire situation of their meeting. At their own earlier distress, how undone they had become in front of her, how their abilities felt so similar and connected, how familiar and strangely alluring she seemed for reasons Cala had no way to put words to and, finally, of seeing someone who had so imbalanced them, who could have wrapped them around her finger if she wanted, blushing and being anxious about something like how many hamburgers she ordered.

Cala could not help themselves and, for the first time since they could remember, they actually.... laughed. Snickering and smiling as their lavender eyes twinkled with delight and a small, adorable snort left their nose, which made them blink, and return Saiko's blush with one of their own as they covered their own face. Now taking their turn to be embarrassed before ordering their own rather modest order of sushi and salmon, a flowing, soft sakura blossom pink running down their neck like a spreading wildfire across the plain of their porcelain skin as they smiled sheepishly at Saiko and explained.

"S-Sorry... I.. I wasn't laughing at you. Just.... ahh... Just being silly I-I guess...."

Rubbing the back of their head Cala thought back to a bit earlier as... whatever that was that had happened had stolen their memory from them, and they had been so scared, only for her to offer to protect them and... well... Cala smiled softly.

"This umm... This meeting didn't really go how I expected it to. I think... I think a small part of me wondered if we were alike. Feeding off similar emotions like we do..... and I'm happy we both don't spread it just to get more power. It's horrible.... to... be this way sometimes but... w-well.... seeing that there's someone else out there who understands what it's like to turn feeding off of emotions that hurt people into helping them, rather than causing it just to feed. I can't... I mean... I don't think I could handle your powers being used on me but... I think what you do is wonderful and, ya know, ahh.... very sweet."

Cala's pattern of speech leveled out throughout their small exposition, speaking from the heart as they were, they seemed very genuine and, if their lavender eyes being trained on Saiko's own in an unusually calm manner for the shy Arrancar was any indication, it was enough to make them comfortable for now.

Saiko noticed Cala laughing and smiled back at him. It was funny because he thought the hybrid took offense to his laughter when it was just pleasant banter to her. Of course, both of them were messes socially, but Saiko was more at ease than him. So, her eyes lingered, and she gave him a nod before speaking.

"It's alright. We both are clumsy about this whole social thing. Just enjoy the food and relax."

Sliding a bit of money on the table, Saiko let out a soft sigh and relished a cherry drink delivered to the table. She needed something to clear up her throat as it felt dry. And during this time, she'd just let Cala ramble on about their similarities, the nature of their powers, and what it meant to be sweet and wonderful.

There was silence for a few moments before she wiped her face with a napkin and spoke again.

"Our powers are similar, but it's not who we are. We can be more than our powers and use them for something good or nothing at all. I refuse to live as my power want me to, so I choose to do good because I want to."

Affirmed in her stance, Saiko gave a graceful smile and continued.

"Thanks for calling it sweet. But I'm curious, why are you so nervous? Your voice is improving, but is there a reason you feel...unsteady?"

Cala nodded along with Saiko, perhaps, a bit too eagerly. The beautiful woman before them putting their thoughts into well-spoken words better than they ever could. Truthfully it felt as if Saiko had plucked how Cala felt about their own abilities from their very mind and presented it to them, and the small Arrancar could only smile sheepishly and nod. Taking a small bite of their own food Cala would blink as Saiko wiped her lips, drawing Cala's attention to them for a brief moment, and Cala blinked again before averting their gaze. Only for them to feel a cold, shy surge up their spine as she also called them out on their demeanor, making Cala fidget in their seat. Their face burning softly in embarrassment as they took a moment to work on their ability to speak.

"Ahhh.... I uhh.... I meant what I said e-earlier....."

Not at all satisfied with even their own attempt at an explanation Cala took a drink to try and hide their awkwardness before coughing softly as they set the cup down, wiping their own face, and drawing in a slow breathe.

"I mean, when I mentioned that you looked familiar. I.... I dunno how to put it right. I feel.... I feel like when I look at you there's something I should be remembering, o-or that there's something I think you want to talk about already. R-Really... every time I look back at you I get this... feeling.... like umm.... like you're a famous movie star or... no that's not right....."

Cala would frown and look down at their food, fiddling with it on their plate, as their irises flicked back and forth in thought, before they shrugged in finality. Not raising their gaze as they mumbled.

"I probably sound really stupid r-right now....."

Saiko loved the rich flavor of the meat in her burgers. Feeling the warmth against her mouth and the ease at which her body digested it made the woman sigh in relief. Yet, as she indulged herself, she still listened to the concerns of Cala and nodded her head at them.

"There are a lot of beautiful-looking movie stars and famous people. And given I think I look rather attractive and thin, maybe that has something to do with it."

The woman gave an innocent shrug of her shoulders as she chuckled. She never thought of herself as ugly or super drop-dead gorgeous. But she knew there was something to her and tried not to flaunt it too much.

"So no, it doesn't sound stupid. You need to get comfortable expressing yourself to people and know when the right time it is to state your thoughts."

After finishing off some of her drink, she let the cool fruity flavors hit her tongue before putting out a suggestion to Cala.

"If you feel that strongly about things, do you believe our souls encountered each other in another life? That type of thing isn't uncommon, y'know? You seem like a moth lost in a flame being around me."

Cala simply... blinked as Saiko compared herself to a movie star and considered that a possibility. Granted if Cala did not find her beautiful they would have laughed and giggled at the pride in Saiko's announcement but, given the circumstances, Cala simply raised their head to look at her again. Studying Saiko for a silent moment, before they nodded, but not in agreement to Saiko looking like a movie star, merely that their mind was still earnestly intaking what Saiko was saying.

As Saiko reassured them Cala ventured a small smile, briefly, but did interpret Saiko's warning about choosing more correct moments to express their feelings as a very passive reprimand of the time and manner that Cala DID choose to express, at least, what smoldering ember of feeling they did feel. This would, normally, dishearten Cala but Saiko's very next suggestion made Cala.... react a bit. Their back straightening and posture adjusting Cala now stared at Saiko again, head tilted, before humming in consideration.

Cala would then shrug in a small motion and respond in a voice that sounded just like someone too caught up in their own head to be worried about what they sounded like. A rare occurrence in which Cala spoke without a falter.

"I don't think it was another life. At least I am pretty sure. We have noticed, my other self and I, that there's an odd feeling permeating reality since recently. Well, also not recently, it's a bunch of times and a bunch of places and hard to explain but we feel like we lost something to it. Something that we're really not used to and....."

Cala trailed off, their brain catching up to their explanation as they bit their lip and realized they had simply been meeting Saiko's eyes and... speaking. It felt odd, unfamiliar, and as they picked up their speech once more their usual timidity returned.

"...w-well that includes memories too, w-we think and.... ahh.... I guess what we're saying is.... maybe we've already met you? We don't know w-what happened with time and... stuff..... but it feels really similar to how we feel when we look at you. Like.... uhh... w-well.... I dunno....."

Cala was NOT a good liar and it was plain as day they knew exactly the word or words that would finish that sentence but they simply refused to say them as they hurriedly popped a sushi roll into their mouth to give it something else to do besides talk.