Does Ehefra is Gay? [Ehefra/Natasha]

Natasha could not tell which moment rendered her silent the most - Ehefera grabbing a handful of her ass or her sputtering back in abject horror, as she hurriedly pulled away from Natasha to cover her mouth as she fell into her despair, coughing and hacking uncontrollably as she remained turned away from the blonde-haired woman.

She was no mind reader so she couldn't tell what the woman felt in her mind... was it disgust or her realizing she enjoyed it? It wasn't until she made out the words "Mghey! Shhhhgay! Shupergay! Ohmahgad. Very Gay!" that Natasha came to some form of a conclusion to explain the woman's current state of panic. Judging from that, Natasha could only assume something dawned on the woman or lit a naughty spark inside her loins - and now she was reeling from the revelation of it all.

Natasha remained silent for a few moments, touching her own lips as she reflected on what she had done. Goddamit, Natasha... what if you only made her issue worse! Natasha could not help but to feel her own pang of shamefulness at feeling pleasant at the kiss. What did that say about her? Well, Natasha supposed on some level if she ever did date again and find love, a women weren't entirely eliminated from the race but still...!

She knew it was going to be awkward but she played along and now she was wondering why she made the suggestion to begin with. Natasha took a deep breath to compose herself, a shade of red still in full bloom on her cheeks. Easy, cowgirl. Relax. She had to help her friend calm down again. That was step one. Confirming GAY would be step two.

Walking over quietly, Natasha placed her hands on Ehefera's shoulders to calm her down again as she spoke in a warm and measured tone, hoping she could get the woman to relax, even if for a moment. How would she go about things next? Tell her she was gay? That wasn't right. For all she knew, maybe Ehefera might well like both? What a complicated situation this had become sheesh.

"Hey, hey, Ehefera... honey. Relax. Calm down. Deep, measured breaths. Take a moment to let your thoughts come together before we go... jumpin' to any conclusions. Judgin' by the reaction... I take it you liked it? I'll let you explain at your own pace. Remember, sexuality is a rollercoaster. Some people call it a spectrum... or somethin' like that. Either way, even if you are, there's no problem with that... at least I'd hope not, right?" The jury was still out on whether Ehefera still believed she was really into men or felt that was the natural course of how things should be. Bisexuality could be into play here, too.

It did not help that the woman had never dated anyone before this. Trying to make sense of all this made Natasha wonder just what lengths she was willing to go to for a friend. Pretty damn far, she thought.

Pretty damn far.

Oh no. Ehefera no. This wasn't supposed to play out like this. She was supposed to react in two ways - disgust and pushing her away talking about how she was sure she liked boys or... or like... just confirming that she was gay and them having a laugh about this moment! Hearing those words - "your face tastes nice" - only caused her blush to burn ever brighter than it did after they broke away from their kiss.

By god, Natasha, what have you done? She was supposed to walk away from this the same woman she was before! Just less insecure about her moment with that friend of hers! Natasha, the playful southerner with control over any situation now felt like Natasha the meek southerner with no control, holding up a sign with the word "HELP" in capital letters.

What went from a matter about discovering sexuality and helping a friend out now turned into a whirlwind of chaos! Well, a whirlwind of chaos was stretching it a little but still... Most of the chaos was whirling within the blonde-haired woman's mind as she was now trying to come to terms with her own hand in this situation.

Her plan of action wasn't meant to manifest desire in the woman's heart - not for her at least! - and now here she was, expressing herself. The confession of how she viewed herself versus Natasha had rendered her speechless, to be certain, but an outright admission that she wanted to fuck her... was the equivalent of witnessing a meteor hurtling down on her from the sky.

It didn't help that the woman's fingers were running across face as she said these things. What was worse is that while the original problem had been solved - the blue-eyed sharpshooter ended up creating an entirely new issue, one wrought solely by her own hands! The most damnable fact of all is that Natasha herself didn't feel repulsed when they kissed the way they did nor did she push her away when Ehefera helped herself to a handful of her buttocks. What did that say about her? Christ... Mistakes were made.

There was a moment of silence as Natasha sifted through her brain to think of a nice phrase or two or some cool witty line' with her usual southern' drawl but there was no getting past that one. Worse yet, after hearing the woman pour her heart out about her insecurities, the last thing she wanted to do was let the silence build up so Ehefera had to battle an entirely new set of issues... why did this have to be so complicated?

Oh...! maybe she could do a double take and pretend she didn't hear her correctly with Ehefera wheezing so far. Yeah, maybe that could be the ticket. She certainly wouldn't repeat that last part again, right? There was no way she'd say it twice, right?

"H-Huh? I don't think I heard that last part correctly, darlin'. Ya were wheezing when ya said it, I heard my face tastes nice and then I think I might've spaced out for the rest of what ya' said..."

Here is where she would turn the tables and escape from the situation unscathed. She could not envision a scenario where the woman would repeat those words again. No way that happens. Right? This plan was fullproof.

Damn. Well, that strategy went out the window now, didn't it, genius? Of course, Ehefera grabbing Natasha's hand would be the true catalyst that helped to pull her back into reality, allowing the woman to reflect on the weight of the situation and take a moment to process everything. The blue-eyed sharpshooter realized her suggestion had only served to complicate matters further and go beyond her actual expectations.

Part of her, at least on some base level, knew she felt a strong attraction towards the opposite sex. One could not live thirty-plus years, be married, and not come to come proper conclusion about where they stood on the spectrum of attraction. This? Completely foreign. Surreal, even.

Still, she felt somewhat shameful about enjoying a kiss she shared with a woman whom she initially felt she viewed as a friend and that frightened her. Had she felt some dormant longing for physical contact and affection after years of closing others out? The thought frightened her. She didn't want to take advantage of the woman to fill a need. Ehefera was a sweetheart. She cared deeply for her friends. She was young and full of energy - both awkward yet straightforward once her eyes had set themselves on an objective.

Her insecurities had revealed so much about her and perhaps someone of lesser mettle - the so-called attractive women she spoke of - might have found themselves offended by her revelations, might have found them offensive. Natasha thought them admirable - it took courage to pour your heart out like that. Natasha could only dream of revealing her own demons and the bones hiding in her closet.

A warm smile formed on Natasha's face, though a small shade of red still remained. Wrapping her hands around Ehefera's, she chuckled softly. "Gosh, you really are a sweetheart, you know that, Ehefera? None of this... is yer fault.' The kiss felt nice. Real nice. So nice that I kinda... I felt ashamed of myself. I made the suggestion, after all. I'd be' somethin' of an ass if I pinned any of the blame on you..." Natasha would pull her closer, azure eyes gazing softly into her own shades of blue.

"I guess there' might be' a shade of gay' in my bones, too," she commented with a hint of bashfulness in her tone."

"I got into it'. Felt a spark of somethin'. Didn't help hearin' that you wanted to fuck me because I... you know... I felt ashamed for thinkin' that I wouldn't have stopped ya' if we kept goin'... and I didn't want to complicate things for ya, Ehefera. Yer' a great girl'. I... care about you. Truly, I do. I wouldn't forgive myself' if I made things worse for you, ya know'?" Running her fingers through the woman's black locks of hair, Natasha sighed softly as she gave her a kiss on the forehead.

"Much as I'm cravin' for affection I've never felt in years, I have to understand that I'm a grown woman who shouldn't make questionable decisions. It just felt... nice. I wanted it to be yer' experiment and come to conclusions about yourself, and I feel bad for findin' it enjoyable..."

There was something about what Ehefera just said that caused Natasha to reflect on her past, if even for an moment. Even those she had just uttered those words, they still hit her in a way that each line reverberated throughout her mind.

Each word was akin to a weight dragging down her conscience, pulling at each of her heartstrings with unbridled fury. Try as she might to push them away, a whirlpool of her past and her words collided as Natasha gazed down at Ehefera.

We live in a dangerous line of work.

When I was out in Malaysia I...didn't even have time to think about stuff like this. It felt like....every single day, I was just one smart hollow away from never wakin up.

I can BE a person now, I can relax, but .....I know that there's still a lot of danger out there. Is it.... a bad idea to just wanna enjoy yourself while you can?

She was right. Even if they were fighting under the banner of the Vandenreich, that in of itself was no guarantee to life. If anything, they were just as susceptible of losing their lives here than any other organization tasked with fighting in the realm of earth.

Hollows of various kind... enemies of unknown origin... any sort of threat they were tasked with meant they would always be placing their lives on the line and Natasha was well aware of that. She could've ran away from it all - chose the life of a common woman and settled down, but something about the City of Lights called out to her and here she was.

What made it even worse is that Ehefera was not wrong. In a world where life was not promised to you, why not make the best of life and enjoy yourself? Life was fleeting. They were friends sharing one another's embrace now and yet, either one of them could end up as a corpse weeks, months, or even years from now.

To one who had lived a full life to one in the prime of her youth, could she even quantify the flurry of emotions the woman felt? The stress she experienced on a day to day basis? Paperwork, combat, researching a myriad of subjects to ensure she was providing her organization with ideal information and if she screwed up, suffer the repercussions or hear a mouthful from a higher-up. None of that could've been easy on her mind.

Worse than that, Natasha could not live with herself or face herself in the mirror if she woke up one day to hear that Ehefera had died or been killed. For the short time she knew the woman, she felt a genuine connection with the woman and always rooted for her success.

Maybe... maybe this would help ease her stress. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to let her experience one night of fun, right? They could recover from this and still smile at one another and act like this was an isolated moment, right? Both of them were helping each other... that's what she used to convince herself that this was okay. Logic should've taken precedence and yet here she was - hook, line, and sinker.

Cupping Ehefera's chin softly she would tilt her head upward as she peered into Ehefera's eyes.

"There's nothin' wrong with enjoyin' yerself, I suppose. Yer young and you've worked hard... you deserve some fun, right? It isn't like there isn't a mutual interest here, either. If yer really sure about this, I'm not gonna stop ya."

Let the chips fall were they may...