Does Ehefra is Gay? [Ehefra/Natasha]

It had been an awkward conversation to try and ......initiate. Especially over texts to say the least, but for some reason it felt safer than talking and letting Natasha hear the confusion in her voice.

[Text-Eh]: Hey Natasha, what do you know about homosexuals?

It was a pisspoor start to the conversatioin, and incredibly abrupt, but well...desperate times called for being a bit frank. She wanted to go in with NAtasha knowing this was going to be weird, not like just....spring it on her after a normal tea time or some shit. Thankfully, the answer was....comforting in a way.

[Text-Nat19]: I dunno. Most' of em' are like any other person to me'. Most' any gay people I met were pretty down to earth and fun' to be around. Why do ya' ask, darlin'?

There was, a brief moment in which she frowned at her phone, surprised that the accent also extended in text form. Did NAtasha literally THINK in accent? Questions for later, but at the very least it seemed Natasha seemed alright with them. That was certainly comforting to say the least. Made this easier. And not like......potentially issue-inducing.

[Text-Eh]: I need some help, can I come over?

No point in doing this in HER place. It made sense to her to have this happen in Natasha's own home where, plausibly, she would feel most comfortable right?

[Text-Nat19]: "Sure, darlin. Always up' for helpin' a friend in need."

Man that really WAS ingrained in her. but at least it was progress. She smiled a bit and then promptly added.

[text-Eh]: Sweet, I'll see you in just a little bit.

Before promptly starting to get her things together and head out the door. Already she felt like there was a brick in her throat but well....she WAS about to do something prety fuckin stupid. She made her way to Natasha's house, imagining all the ways this could go horribly wrong. Alarm. Hatred. Sexual harassment suits. Did they even HAVE those these days? This all happened out of work right? Was she considered in a position of authority over her? She wasn't sure, she didn't THINK so.... All of this nonsense ran through her head as she knocked on Natasha's door.

Ehefra put on a light smile, and what she hoped was a casual expression as Natasha opened the door, and then said THAT! Her eyes widened, a startled look crossing her features before the woman hurried inside. "HAhahahahahahahaIdon'tknowwhatyou'retalkingabout." She blurted out loudly and awkwardly ans she promptly shifted in through the door and made sure the door was closed behind them, clearly VERY on edge as she made her way into the familiar home, her head spinning.

Alright, how...how to DO this?! Should she just get right into it? Shoudl they have tea first or something? She might need to calm down. No no dammit, that might give the wrong impression. She stressed, unknowingly starting to pace around NAtasha's livingroom as she fussed over the minute details of the conversation she was going to have. Dammit. "So uhhh, th...the text I sent you earlier. I have this......friend you see. And the other day wh-...." She paused. Goddammit, no, that wasn't going to work for this.

"N-natasha. Alright. There IS no other I mean there IS a friend involved but he's....anyway I'm-...I don't....know if I'm gay!" She finally blurted out, finally turning to face Natasha. And no doubt, any potential Togedstalten potentially bugging either of the woman would no doubt suddenly be hitting record and waiting with baited breath as Ehefra continued. "I..... met someone ...met WITH someone that ...I'm friends with. We've been friends for a while now! and when we met up w-...well it's,....it's not important WHAT happened but now I don't know whats going on and I don't know who else I can go to! You are...more or less my only other friend I can ask about this kind of thing!" She was striding around the room at this point, prowling in circles as she tried to work out the situation, though honestly she was already pretty much explaining the bulk of it now.

Ehefra didn't even notice Natasha heading off into the other room and starting to make tea. It wasn't until the woman walked into the room and planted a hand onto Ehefra's shoulder that the woman actually came to a stop, eyes a bit wide, before she paused....staring down at the cup that was placed into her hands... falling silent for several moments before she gave a sheepish nod... Right....righrightrightright. Goddammit Ehefra you stupid ho ass bitch, you need to focus! "Thanks." She noted with a soft smile, the first smile, perhaps, that she had given Natasha that wasn't subliminally tainted by hatred and distrust for this foreign bimbo. But all the same, in this moment? That sort of ...warm calm that Natasha had that she had always hated and envied came in handy. She found a moment to take a breath.... and slowly took a slow...steady sip of the tea.

She didn't like it. Not sweet enough, but it still had the desired calming effect, so she didn't stop sipping softly until she could feel herself starting to enter some semblance of relaxation. All the same she ....pinkened a bit as Natasha more or less hit the nail on the head. Well...yes, but also no. There was some.....bizarre nuance to the situation. However, she wasn't in the business for airing the dirty laundry of others. So for now, she'd just go along with the story that this was just some girl friend of hers she'd ...yea. Done all that gay shit with.

"R-...right. I ....I don't.... It was just a lot to handle at once. Nothing....seriously actually happened. We just... we just kissed and a few things. But .... we stopped. So I don't...I don't know what would have happened. But now my head has just been spinning with all this stuff! I mean, attraction is subjective right? What if I'm not really gay? I mean, I've loved guys, like....WHEW, I ...REALLY like guys. Don't get me started on the guy who interviewed me for my job. But now there's...theres all this....STUFF! In my head! I've NEVER liked women! I mean, I HATE most women I met! I ...well no offense, but I couldn't really stand you when we first met, and you've kinda grown on me, but . This ....I'm very...NOT used to this!" Still talking very animately, and even gesticulating as she spoke. But well, hey, at least she wasn't stalking around Natasha's house like a drug addict, right?

She closed her eyes and sighed. "It was just....different. I don't know if it's a different I LIKE, but ...its startling! Women used to just make me angry! And now I don't know. Am I gay? WAs it just....an emotional connection with my friend? Was it just the booze?! _{Oh right, I was like...super drunk at the time, so that may have had something to do with it.} But now I'm NOT drunk, and feeling very confused!" Talk about a self report, but hey, she figured she needed to get this out of the way right? And being honest was, plausibly, the best way to get through all this. Besides, they were cool now right? They had come to eachothers places now and then for like, a talk and stuff. She still hated NAtasha, absolutely. every time she saw this woman's fat fucking tits she wanted to start smoking. But in this moment, the infuriating blonde southie was just about her only lifeline. And the closest thing to a female friend she'd ALLOWED herself to have.

Ehefra blinked just a moment about that impish little way that Natasha stuck her tongue out at her and she thinner her lips as she felt ambarassment at having revealed that certain little fact. It definitely was good that NAtasha seemed so fond of her to say the least, so she just sortof averted her gaze on the subject. She could only imatine the number of derogatory things Natasha migjht be thinking about her. But this was no time for worry about that. She NEEDED this little internal crisis dealt with. If she was gay that would be a BIG blow to her own dateability! What kind of guy was gonna wanna marry a lesbian?! Would she be able to MARRY guys anymore? What would her parents think?

This little death spiral of thought was, however, interrupted when Natasha finally spoke up again, and....OOF.
She ....averted her attention off to the side, instantly seeming....even MORE awkward to say the least. Alright this was just painful, and even WORSE that NATASHA was asking her this. The woman who no doubt got that fuckin GOOD d on he reg was about to find out ....ugh... "N....no I haven't. I was home schooled.. and ...then ran off to Malaysia before I joined you guys here in America." She noted very quietly, as if afraid that someone else might hear about her situation. God she hated this. And she was aBOUT to argue that she didn't....HATE women. Just like.....all the super hot ones. But well, she didn't want to give Natasha that kind of compliment.

The suggestion.....she .....had some guesses. Well, she knew the possibilities. But Ehefra's expression remained resolute. Especially whens he remembered the looks on Ira's face. Looks that ...even just remembering them.... made her heart ache in sadness.

Ira needed her. As....WHAT she wasn't sure. She didn't know what they had going on. But she couldn't allow something like this to distract her. She wanted to be on the ball and able to do whatever Ira needed in order to help her. And that meant dealing with this little head demon before it could somehow poison their interactions. She ....was ....she knew herself pretty well. And she could already see this ...insecurity making situations needlessly awkward. She could never let that happen. She would endure whatever slut magic this southern hussy had to get her through this.

"I don't care. Lay it on me."

Ehefra ....stared for a few moments when Natasha made her suggestion, and of course the implication and outright saying what she might do to figure out if she liked women or not. Surprise and .....a bit of shock decorating her face. "I....." She ....hesitated, trying to think what she should say. Namely because she wasn't surprised in the slightest. This was one of the main reasons she had even gone to NAtasha other than just ...try to sus ...ok well no, this wasn't the reason she went to Natasha, IF Natasha hadn been unable to produce this suggestion, Ehefra had had every intention of bringing it up herself.

BUT, this way, she could just blame Natasha being a foreigner for suggesting such a depraved means of testing herself. As of now, she was off the metaphorical hook for this. Hell yea, thank god for fuckin YANKS. All the same, she kept all THAT stuff bottled down, as she ...... tried to sus out what she would do now. She didn't say anything for a few moments.....shit ok this really was hard. She took a ....steady deep breath.

And now she was avoiding Natasha's gaze. Right....all she needed to do was ...look.....in Natasha's eyes... and then....the other stuff. But her eyes sutubbornly just....shifted other places.....going anywhere but to make eye contact with the other woman. And her face scrunched up. She was afraid. She had no idea what was on the other end of this road. And she ....she wondered, briefly.....did she WANT to know the answer to this question? Some small...cowardly part of her just considered....leaving. Not going through with this, palying it off as if the mere suggestion of such things had told her all she needed to know. But she couldn't. She had a REASON to be doing this.

Slowly...she ....forced herself to look up at Natasha and ...LOOK at her. That bright blonde hair that people were always so fond of. That soft, pale skin. And those eyes that were....nervous now. The woman seemed almost purebred foreigner in any case, not even as peck of anything that might say Japanese. Maybe some FAR off genetic residue in her facial structure...perhaps even that strange straight hair of hers. But more than that....she was beautiful. And she felt a twist in her chest. That this woman could be so much that she herself wasn't. She wanted to pull away...she wanted VERY badly to pull away. But she didn't know...was.....that the fear? Was that heterosexuality kicking in her door? It was so ....bizarre and strange, and mixed in with something else that she couldn't tell.

"Natasha..." She found herself blurting out. Because .the woman was also so much more than JUST a hot foreigner. She was .....sweet. And helpful. She was welcoming and forgiving, and so many things that Ehefra really didn't see in herself. And that only made her feel worse.....and yet better. She LIKED just how willing Natasha was willing to help her. Goddammit, these ...FUCKING EMOTIONS! She couldn't tell if she ...LIKED this or if she just....liked Natasha because she was a good friend! And that really HURT for her to say. Because she was frankly...manipulating the woman. Offloading her guilt, hating her because of all she was. And really Natasha seemed so very utterly uninterested in hating Ehefra. Or if she DID...she just didn't show it. And that made her feel like she didn't deserve her as a friend.

Goddammit. Her hands found Natasha's waist. Pulling her close up against her own body, heat blooming at the points of contact as she realized she'd been a little cold just a moment before. And she ....paused. For just a moment, that pragmatism almost kicked in. And she almost just....started feeling her up. That was the most efficient way right? To see if she LIKED what Natasha had to offer. But she ....hesitated. She didn't want to use Natasha like that. And so very suddenly...she realized that she had no idea how Natasha felt about this kind of thing. Had SHE ever been in this sort of situati8on? And she was suddenly worried for more than just herself. What if she ....WASN'T a slut? IT was easy to just see the woman getting ran on a train by - Yep, ok, a little infuriating. Gonna ignore THAT train of thought. But she could also see that maybe the woman was just....some southern girl who was still trying to get used to this city. And ....as much as she wanted to find out. She didn't want to just ...... treat her like that. Which very much annoted the part of her that hated Natasha.

"I always hated how pretty you were....how nice you were...." She murmured quietly, reaching up, and gently using her hands to frame Natasha's face. "You're this ...blonde...beautiful...foreign mirror that makes me look at myself every time I see you. And think of everything that I'm not." She didn't know whay she was divulging this. IT was ...one HELL of a self report. But .... She ....WANTED Natasha to know WHY she disliked her. She felt...BAD that she just...had told the woman she hated her, but didn't explain.

She gently eased Natasha to the other side of the room, until Natash would feel herself being put up against the wall. Right...well....this was the hardest part. "Don't......don't think ....don't feel bad ...about me not liking you. I don't not ...like you because I hate you Natasha. I don't like you because I hate me." She said quietly, before she leaned in and pressed their lips together. No sense of moderation, straight to french _honhon, and Ehefra's hand gently slipped up into Natasha's hair in what she hoped would be the most likely to invoke a romantic response in herself, IF there was one to be had. And she .....balked...just a little at the ....wave of different things that she was feeling all at once. Struggling to ...sort through it, all while continuing to kiss her coworker.