Unfamiliar Familiar [Ehefra/Ira]

Ehefra couldn't help but snort and chuckle softly as she took that compliment in stride, letting out a loud HAH at the very notion of her being a mother, instinctively she glanced to her left toward a particular side of the room, but she did nothing other than just glance before she shook her head, watchinog fondly as she noticed the rough way that Ira managed to choke down the drink, giving an appreciative whistle when she made note of the woman downing the whole glass. She herself taking a breath, and then promptly knocking back the rest of her own, eyes blinking rapidly as she did. WHEW! "Ahahahahah, it's so hard to imagine you drinking that much." She giggled, shaking her head as she promptly poured more for the both of them, already her head hazing just the slightest, those doubts and pains and insecurities now dulled much to her own enjoyment.

"mhh..." she started, taking a moment to take another soft slow sip, her nose wrinkling just a little. Oh no, she should have just downed it all. Too late now, she has to pause and tilt her head back, gulping loudly as she swallowed down the drink at a more steady pace, stopping when she was about halfway through, her throat finally finished tensing as she set the glass down and coughed just a little. "Badhidea." She croaked out, wiping her mouth a bit before that giggle bubbled back up. "I definitely don't think motherhood is in the cards for me. But I'll certainly take the compliment! What about you? Did you have any kids?" She asked lightly, looking at him with soft, warm eyes and clear interest written all over her face.

"You DEFINITELY strike me as a great Daddy." She reasoned, lounging in her chair a little and folding her legs. That prim, proper, professional veil slipping a little as she relaxed.

Ehefra smiled, tilting her head just a little and perking up as he began speaking so highly of his son! A nice son, a good job, even a good wife! She smiled fondly, imagining how proud it must have been for Ira...to see something you made prosper. But then it took a turn and she blinked a bit owlishly at the news....staring at the man as he spoke of the loss of his child and daughter in low. A sorry was about to creep free...when that second part suddenly came out. She paused, staring for just an instant at him as she .....found herself going a bit wide-eyed. Gesturing at ...himself? She was buzzed.... but not so buzzed that she didn't understand what he was trying to convey.

She.....paused.....staring down at Ira's form for a moment, and then back up. not out of the same curious urges that it had been before. But to.....take in.....what that must be like. What a hell it was..... and she felt tears budding up in her eyes. Her mind hazily shifting back .... to her own reaction. That LOOK that had been on his face when she'd started losing her cool. And she felt......disgust with herself. She reached up and covered her mouth. She was crying suddenly, not loudly... not making a single noise. As tears simply started spilling down her cheeks freely.

She stood up from her chair and ......froze. Staring down at Ira for just a moment as she felt her breath locking in her throat. The drinks on the table completely forgotten. If she were sober, she might have tried to hold it down. Been......something. Been supportive verbally. But she just had to do this. She circled around the table and peeled Ira right out of her chair, pulling the woman so that she was standing up directly infront of Ehefra, both hands firmly planted on his shoulders as she stared up at him, tears still flowing, her voice choking up. "You were all the father you ever could have been. And then some......" She didn't know that. There was a whole lot of space between 'my son was successful, then he died, and then I took care of his kid' that could hold any number of things. But she just....wanted to say something comforting. And with all she KNEW about the man now, how could she think he was anything but the best father? With her piece said, she pulled Ira firmly into a hug. Eyes shut, pulled down so that her own head gently rested against his in as close to something of a sheltering hug that someone of her height could have offered.

And when it was all over... she let him go, and ....chuckled nervously, still crying. "WHEW! Oh..uhm....wow I'm sorry that ..... that was a lot! Im' really sorry. Uh..." She stood there, awkwardly, realizing what an AGGRESSIVELY emotional thing she'd accidentally turned this celebration into. And she felt a mild panic in her chest as she turned to the table and tried to top off their glasses. "Whew! Sorry, never really drank this much before! Oh I'm...I'm being such a bore. Uh....a Toast!" She awkwardly raised her glass. "To..........new.....happy futures!" She noted, strained voice, trying her drunken best to pull this little happy growth party out of the sad gutters. And feeling like she was failing so incredibly hard.

Ehefra couldn't help but smile in response, relief rushing through her as she made note of his smile, relaxing just a bit as she remained standing, needing a moment to try and calm herself, taking slow, steady breaths and glancing toward Ira with a soft smile, hiding a slow twist in her sternum. "You're being way too kind." She sniffled, wiping her eyes on her wrist for a moment, briefly upset when she realized she didn't have sleeves and just....peeling her shirt from herself a bit so that she could wipe her eyes with the fabric before sighing. Alright, she was good now.

She chuckled, rewinding a bit to the part where he'd called her a nice girl. It was easy to forget just how old Ira was. "Ahah, well thank you for that. Always.... nice being the nice girl." She noted lightly, blinking the stickiness from her eyes as she leaned back into her seat and took a LONG swig from her glass and then sighed, resting her elbow up onto the table and gently grasping her temples between her fingers and thumb, eyes closed as she just.....drained a little. Not too obviously, but the layers of restraint sure were getting thin as those stresses came a bit closer to the surface. "I'm not a nice girl....Ira." She noted softly, a rueful smile on her face as she glanced up to them.

"I'm not even a nice daughter. My parents....have always been terrified of this place. Horror stories you hear about America... They were.....lovely...supportive. Especially my Dad. When I was ....nice and young. He wanted to know what I wanted to do. Ahah.....I was such a daddy's girl.... I wanted to work like he did. He was always doing his funny work on the computer, soon as I was old enough I tried doing it myself. I did alright. Learned my way around computers. Eheh....well. He designed systems for infrastructure. Even was part of the team that did some work on codes for ....oh what was it....some....defense thing around Karakura. Anyway. Very beyond me. The market for programming outside of those things is....well. It was a competetive field in Karakura at least. A nice safe job. He honestly should have tried to ....have me get something else. But well...he was always supportive." She smiled to herself, staring off ....sometime else. Thinking back.

"He was happy to let me follow what I thought I wanted. I turned out to be quite good at it as well. But well.... then..." She gestured around her. "I found out about Quincy. I thought it was so much more fascinating. And my parents were terrified.... the idea of their daughter, heading out into that big awful world. They tried so hard, trying to find ANYTHING to ....have me reconsider. But I wouldn't listen. I went out on my own. Worked in Malaysia just on my own. If I hadn't turned out to be so good at reishi manipulation I would probably be dead. And lo and behold....I find my home in the City of Lights." Her rueful smile broke.

"I join up. And the first mission I'm running tactical..... half of them critically injured. The rest roughed up." She shut her eyes....tightly. Shaking her head. She knew she'd done nothing wrong. At least....she thought she did. But there was that sinking, awful feeling...that somewhere along the line.....she'd done something wrong. And it wasn't HER that had suffered for it. "I'm not a good girl.....I'm just.....a selfish...idiot... who gets in too deep....." She broke out into a chuckle. "I have no idea what I can do for you Ira. I've done my best.....I keep....up with the scans....these...measurements. I've been trying to give off the .....illussion that.... I can fix it. But everything I've seen points to this being the rest of your life." She closed her eyes....tears welling up again.

"and I wish I were better."

She had hardly even noticed Iro making his way over to sitting next to her, absorbed into her own self doubt that she had swarming through her. It was, however, that gentle pat to the top of her head that made her perk up. Blinking for a moment as she turned, her heart sinking as she looked to him and listened to those kind, gentle words. It was.......thoroughly, a situation in which she could feel it. Not just....deduce it. Surmise. But she could FEEL the age in Ira's words, The words of .... an older man doing his best to keep a sad little girl from breaking on down. Ira being taller than her, she DID feel small, and she couldn't help but feel the Irony in the situation that smothered her in this very moment.

She remembered the way he'd looked at her when they'd first met. Naturally it had just been a bit odd until she'd understood the situation. And, naturally, she had ....causally just let it slide. Focusing on the situation. Haha, cute, this ....old guy in a little girl body was checking her out. And in time....it had vanished. She was relieved at the time, but in those long nights, hanging out by her closet mirror, she couldn't help but wonder why. And now, though his words shifted, she couldn't help but FEEL the sympathy in his voice. Hearing him correcting his first instinct into something a little more comforting.

This was what she deserved.
For all the ugliness in her heart.
This.....truly....wonderful man, who had done ......so much. So much more than she could imagine. And-
She grasped her face into her palm, and she hunched forward, shame swallowing her up.
Because of what else was creeping into her heart. The alcohol having done it's job, glancing at him with red eyes and a puffy face. She stood up hard enough that the couch almost slammed into the wall. She staggered a little toward the kitchen. Shitl..... her crying was a lot of fluid and elctrolytes, and not only that, but the combination of mild dehydration and alcohol was settling in. She was dipping into drunk now. She....wanted to ask him something. But he was too good. TOO honorable. Why couldnt he just be some vile thing? Why couldn't she just ....HAVE something to make her feel better?

"I'm....water." She promptly stode into the kitchen unstably, a woman on a mission, making her way toward the sink and promptly splashing herself in the face, flumbling with a new glass, entirely forgetting about the one back on the coffee table as she promtpyl downed two glasses in quick succession, blinking rapidly as she let out a huff. No doubt he was probably concerned about her sudden...erratic behavior. And wether he was right there with her, or if she had to stagger back into the livingroom, she'd look at him with a wet face and hopeful eyes. "Do you mean that?" She was too drunk to think to elaborate. Too drunk to realize how incredibly stupid she was being. How selfish. How pathetic. Oh...no...nop there it was. But the words were out now, and she looked at Ira, hoping.

.It took just a bit for her to finally get to him, but she made it well enough, the water certainly seeming to help as she searched his face. He was always so.....guarded. Or maybe he was just....consistent. She never got anything soo expressed from him. Maybe she wasn't looking hard enough, but she could never tell what was going on in his head, not anymore. And so she ....hesitated. Letting doubt in as she ..... gently reached up and .....let her hands rest..... on his shoulders. Eyes closing as the shame throbbed in her ears with her own helpless heart. She hung her head, smiling sadly as her hands made their way up Ira's neck....resting on either side of her face. She raised her head slowly, and gave a sorrowful smile. "I-......" Her words caught in her throat, as her thoughts swam.

"I don' want to be a good woman." She said softly, achingly painful as she hunched her shoulders. "You just don't know me well enough to know that I'm not." She managed to murmur out. "I hate myself. I ...I know you're going to say it....to say not to be hard on myself. But ...do I really really...I hate it..." She shook her head slowly. Her hands slipping away from Ira's neck, looking up at him. "I hate what I wanna do." She managed to croak out, her hands crossing eachother as she gently grasped the hem of her shirt. "What I'm gonna do to you." She started to peel up, pale skin slowly spilling into view And.....

The sadness hit. And the Alcohol hit. And the fatigue that came with crying hit all at once. For just a moment....she was just closing her eyes. Seeming..... as if she were trying to remember something. Before finally her brain simply shut off. She slumped, faceplanting straight into Ira's hip , the HARD impact of pelvic bone to skull promptly jarring her before she slumped onto Ira.

Completely unconscious.