Brotherly Love [Private/Ask to Join] [Location: Nagano, Japan]

The idea of having that level of power had always sat in the deepest recesses of Vanyel's mind. Even now, there was a part of him that craved power, but he never had thought of what it would feel like to actually be that strong, but the thought came to mind as Calypso mentioned Ulv and Hvit, with their capability and willingness to cross dimensions like it were nothing. To become strong enough that the world is in the palm of your hand -- while he couldn't dream of knowing what it felt like, especially now, he knew people who had reached that apex of power.

He wondered, what did it feel like for Mana? For Algos, Caly, even Arianda? He knew that there were some members of the now defunct Shadow Fall that were on a similar level. What did it feel like to have that kind of power at their beck and call? He didn't really have an answer to that, even if it was basically rhetorical from Calypso. He was pretty damn average when it came to overall power and that kind of capability, especially now as a fledgling demon.

But, she quickly changed the subject as his half-sister downed her drink in no time, before leaning back and starting to meditate, inquiring about his own stories and tales, especially when coming to what he was now. Vanyel chuckled softly, shrugging as he leaned back and took a sip from his drink.

"I don't really think it's that interestin', but, if you insist."

He took another sip from his drink, tilting his head up briefly, thinking of how to word the start of his journey to a demon.

"Well, the thought had been in my mind for a bit, after I talked with Caly's sister. She, uh...kinda helped me realize that I...well, that I love her. I wanted to be stronger, so that I could protect her. I...wanted to feel less like an outsider to the beings I was around so often. So, she -- Algos -- put the idea in my head."

He paused for a moment, setting the drink down and looking to the floor. He contemplated whether or not he should mention the...more personal details, the doubts that circled his mind, then and now. Even after the fact, he was scared that he had made a mistake, and wasn't sure if it really was what he wanted. Everything since then had felt...off.

...No. At least, not right now. He didn't need to throw on his own existential drama on top of everything. So, taking a breath, he continued.

"Caly and I talked about it for a lil' bit. She...wanted to make sure that it was somethin' that I wanted, 'cuz, I had asked her to turn me. I just, felt safe with her doing it. I wouldn't have trusted Algos to do it, even if it meant the death of me."

Vanyel stopped for a moment, looking toward Calypso and taking a drink, giving her time to make any comments, or ask any questions that she might have. Or, maybe he was doing it all wrong, and she wanted to hear the entire life story from the very beginning.

Vanyel's gaze turned to the floor again, taking a quiet sip from his drink as she asked her questions. It was a strange paradox -- he hadn't expected her to pose the question, yet he had also expected some question about Algos and his mistrust of her. Yet, her question If only the answer were so simple.

"It's...complicated, and an even longer story than this one. I'll explain after the story's over."

But, the next part of her question caught him off guard -- asking him if he really wanted it, or if it was just to fit in. He swore she could read his mind sometimes. His body trembled lightly as he fell silent, his gaze remaining fixated on the floor. Those doubts had been circling through his head ever since the first morning he woke up as a demon. Even before and during the process, fear gripped his heart and doubt clouded his mind.

He wanted power. He wanted to be strong enough to protect the person he had come to love, to fit in the those who seemed to accept him, yet...part of him suspected -- no, part of him knew that they would never accept him properly. He would always be an outsider, and he told Algos that much. But, what could he even say in response to that? He wasn't even sure himself. So, lowering his head, he sighed softly.

"...I don't even know anymore."

Jarred from his thoughts with a sudden kick to the leg, Vanyel chuckled softly as he returned the kick, albeit much lighter. It was good to know he didn't seem to be the only idiot of that caliber in the world. Whatever ended up happening in the future, he was glad that he had people to fall back onto. Maybe there was some method that Wulin had that would be able to help. He'd ask about that in due time.

"Thanks, kiddo."

Even if he still didn't properly know if this was what he wanted, it was somewhat relieving to hear that someone still was there for him regardless. Downing the rest of his drink and setting it back into the cupholder, Vanyel tilted his head back for a moment, before looking back at Calypso,

"Guess I should finish the story, huh? Well, the whole process of becoming... this, wasn't a pleasant one. I don't really remember how long it took, but, it felt like eternity at points. Was outta commission for a time after, too, which sucked. Wasn't a fan of just sittin' around doin' nothin' but readin'. Readin' is fine and all, but, not when I can't do anythin' else."

He chuckled softly, remembering the demons that he ended up confronting and conquering during the conversion, with Caly there every step of the way. He probably would have never made it to the end of it all without her. A soft smile came to his face he looked to the floor, thinking of her. Yet, it was also clouded with doubt. He hoped that, after all of this, everything that he had done up to this point would be worth it, in the end.

Vanyel wasn't exactly used to telling stories. When it wasn't him nerding out about Chinese mythology and more akin to stories of his own life, he often found himself pausing, taking breaks, and giving the other party a chance to make comments without getting overshadowed. So, when Calypso objected, saying that it was a terrible ending, Vanyel blinked a couple of times in surprise, since...well, he wasn't finished yet.

But, nevertheless, he let her speak. Given how she had been acting throughout the day, he honestly half-expected her to actually pull out a big red pen for the sake of emphasis, or, just for the hell of it. But, her question was a sound one, and a question that he didn't really know how to answer. As far as he knew, he went in knowing the repercussions of his actions.

"Honestly, I'm not sure how to properly answer that without soundin' like I'm avoidin' it. I guess, to my knowledge, I knew the risks. I...was told that I couldn't turn back after this, that I'd be stuck like this, and I'd need to know for sure. But...even then, I wasn't entirely sure. I wanted her to be honest with me, for her to tell me what she thought about it and to be selfish if she didn't want me to be a demon."

He paused for a moment, folding his hands in his lap as he turned to look at the floor.

"I wanted to be strong so I could protect her, and...I didn't think I could do that as a human. I thought that, as a demon, I'd break the limits of what humans could do and be stronger than that. She just...wanted me to be happy, to not hurt me. For a while I thought I'd be happy like this, but, now I'm not sure."