Papers for You [Elyss/Alastor]

Man, she didn't even try to incentivise this stupid contest with a bit of fun. How boring and dull, the redhead looked a little bored as he kicked back the drink without any kind of hint that it even burned going down. Considering his whole inhereted family power involved heating his body to very high temperatures, this little bit of fire down his throat barely compared with how painful that could get for him.

"Was that it? I thought you were going to get something that burned on the way down?"

Now that was unnecessary of a flex but she had started this little dickwaving contest and he wasn't going to pretend like he would be humble about her little game. If anything he should thoroughly destroy her in this game so she knew how much of an idiot she was to start it in the first place.

"Hey! Settle down you stupid idiot."

Her rash decision to suddenly try and down the whole bottle even left the bartender at a loss for words. The woman was truly a monster, Alastor was proven right. Ain't no lady stupid enough to do something like that except this shortstacked redhead.

"Are you okay?"

He looked at her warily. It would not surprise him if she looked ready to fall out of her chair right now with how she had gone through that. Was he going to need to drag her off to the medical units and explain how she had tried to destroy her liver and kill herself? Hopefully not. This girl really made more work for everyone around her.

"How many fingers am I holding up?"

He was holding up three.

"Yeah, obviously, you're basically a guy except for the fact you're... not. Why wouldn't I talk shit with you, idiot."

Yep. Everything about Elyss screamed super hot babe and then you interacted with her once and you realised that she was basically a man underneath the hot visage she had which was really annoying when they first met but he'd gotten used to it. It didn't matter though, something about this girl and wanting to attract trouble but really.

"Hey, you've already drank a whole bottle, Elyss. You need to cool it down, yeah? What are you trying to do? Wake up tomorrow in a shit state? If you go hard at the start of the night you're just wasting it stupid, you gotta learn to pace yourself."

"Man, why are you complicating it like that. Are you having a sexual crisis now? Jeez. You've got a more womanly figure than most women and twice as hot so why are you getting your panties in a bunch over it? Yeah, you act with more macho than most guys but you're still a woman unless you're actually packing in those pants and in that case, leave me out."

Guh, no way could he leave her in this place now. Last thing he needed was to ruin everyone else's atmosphere or have her lose the plot and break something. Murasaki would kill him if he needed to explain why division funding might need to go into fixing a bar.

"Right, c'mon. You need some air, shortstack. This is what you get for stupidly drowning that whole bottle."

He got up and tried to get her to come with, a sum of money on the counter to pay for the short drinking session which was not cheap with how much that bottle was.

"Anyway, why do you even care what everyone else thinks? You can beat those idiots up if they try and start shit, on the other hand it ain't fair if you're complaining about not being treated like a woman when you try and exude more testosterone than the guys."

"So? I'm just a substitute shinigami, I got all the shit back in the day. Just ignore them and keep on pressing on, you feel? Wasting time to think about how people see you is stupid."

He cocked his head to the side while dragging her drunk little self back to the division barracks, slowly but surely and easing her whole drunken induced drama that had boiled up. On one hand, it was whatever. It was nice not dealing with her annoying bravado all the time and being reminded that she wasn't dimwitted. On the other hand, man did he hate when people dropped their issues on him. He always felt his answers really boiled down to who cares and screw what they think, just do whatever.

"If you don't wanna be a socially retarded gorilla, then change it. You telling me you can muster the will to deal with all the stupid shit people do but you can't scrap enough up to want to change and improve yourself?"