For the Satisfaction of my Soul [Cyrus/Helle]

Sun May 10, 2020 4:49 am

CYRUS OF THE AFFECTIONATE FLAME

It had been quite some time since Cyrus took any action purely of his own accord. Decades perhaps, if not longer. He was a man of ideals, one who pursued his aims for the sake of others, and who thought little of himself. Yet, it seemed to him that there might have been something that merited more personal attention. Something which was, by all accounts, wholly for his own sake. It was the very same topic he had requested Helle's presence to discuss, and it was why he now stood at the edge of the City of Lights, overlooking the sea and awaiting her arrival.

He knew, on some level, that the request he had made of her, the role he had perhaps impressed upon her, was weightier than he might have anticipated it to be at first. After all, at the time he had sought no more than to have one who might keep him from slipping away from those very ideals which always drove him. But now Cyrus was aware, on some level, that he simply enjoyed her presence. Not in any carnal sense, where he desired to physically gaze upon her. But he enjoyed discussion with her, and thought highly of her actions more often than not.

It caused him no small amount of pain, but he simply endured it. Even now he suffered it, as he continued to look out at the water. She knew where to come. He had given her instruction.

END POST | HOW FAR AWAY, THE IDEAL WORLD

Tue May 12, 2020 4:58 pm

helle - For the Satisfaction of my Soul [Cyrus/Helle] ZnehDGG

Helle Armstrong

Stepping through the streets of The City of Lights, each armored foot moving forward with a purpose, Helle carried herself steadily towards the destination requested of her to reach. Her Liege had requested her presence, but for what, Helle does not know. That is why she decided to wear her armor, leaving her helmet for no particular reason. Maybe she will receive an assignment. There are so many possibilities, but only one of them will be true.

If Helle is to be honest with herself, however, she is feeling somewhat nervous about the upcoming interaction between her and her Liege. Her mind cannot help but remember the few times she has been alone with her Liege, and in those times, she had continuously felt this nervousness. Whether Cyrus be female or male, it had mattered not to her fluttering heart or distraught thoughts, but she is clearly conscious of how her Liege’s male form causes her legs to rattle at times. Being completely new to all of this, Helle had yet to conclude one clear explanation for it all despite how it loomed in her mind. Maybe that’s just her consciously avoiding such an answer. She even read books about what she could be feeling, and yet, she didn’t want to name her condition. For all she knows, it could just be something that will pass with time or nothing more than her getting attuned with her true age. Knowing of Cyrus’ condition, she could not, with a clear conscience, burden her Liege with such lofty feelings. He has his duty, and she is nothing more than a soldier in his charge. She hopes he sees her like that, but she can’t help but hope that he sees her the same way her dreams demand he sees her.

Her emerald eyes were down as she walked, a blush slowly forming on her pale cheeks due to her own mental debate. However, her walk soon ended as she felt her Liege’s presence in front of her which caused her to stop and look up at the awaiting man. He has not turned to her just yet, but he most definitely knows she is here. She did little to hide her presence from him. Her mind still wandered on why they are so far from his office though. Why meet here at the very edge of the city?

She couldn’t help but stare entranced by the calm aura that seemed to surround him, or maybe she’s just lost wondering what’s occurring inside the man. Ever since learning of the situation with his emotions, at times Helle would wonder when Cyrus suffered that agonizing pain. That didn’t help her not think about him, and it made her feel bad for everything going on inside of herself. There is no time left to dally with however, so she makes her way closer until beside him and joins in on staring out towards the horizon.

“Hello, my Liege.”

Wed May 13, 2020 4:11 pm

CYRUS OF THE AFFECTIONATE FLAME

It would be nearly impossible, in any manageable amount of words, to fully encapsulate what it was that Cyrus thought of Helle. She was many things, and chief among them was a loyal retainer of the Vandenreich, one he certainly trusted with his life. Few others could be said to have such a high degree of personal belief from the divine himself, perhaps 5 in total. It gave him a small amount of pause, then, to consider the obvious degree of personal investment she had begun to display toward him. Cyrus did not wish for such things, just as much for her sake, and for the world's sake, as his own. He was something more than a man now, a force of nature which most assuredly would fill its role in time.

Ah, but did not this pain in his chest remind him of those sick truths the sun's splendor had yet to outshine?

"Good evening, Helle."

It was a simple greeting, but in referring to her only by name, Cyrus made it clear the tone of this meeting. There would be no need for propriety here, no requirement that Helle address him as the Grandmaster of the Vandenreich. This was simply an exchange between Cyrus and Helle.

"I thank you for joining me. We have a bit of traveling to do, and I think it would take too long by any conventional means. It will take only a moment."

He then held his hand out to her, turning ever so slightly to look her in the eye. Though the weight of his divinity certainly still rested behind his eyes, there was something...less there now. It was a faint vestige of the man who bore this power, and who had perhaps condemned himself for the sake of others.

He would be disppointed if she declined.

END POST | COME AND LOOK UPON THE HEART

Thu May 14, 2020 10:45 am

Helle Armstrong

Helle? Being referred to as her name instead of by her title does indeed dictate the type of conversation the two will be having. With that in mind, she lowers her guard with a soft sigh. Her eyes still focused on the sea before them however. Ever since she was young, she had thought about exploring the world. Of course, any kid would dream such if they were cooped up inside a building for most of their life, but now that she can so easily go wherever she pleases, it seems that mystical youthful wonder has begun to dissipate. With her new role as a Captain, a lot of her youthful enthusiasm had begun to disappear. That’s why this little moment of serene calm with nothing on her mind but a hopefully enjoyable conversation felt relieving. She always forgets that she’s only 20 years old. Cyrus is definitely a person that reminds her of such.

“Ah… If I do so recall, you did speak of taking me someplace special Cyrus. I am guessing you have finally found time in your busy schedule for such. I would normally argue that I have much work to finish up, but if I am to be honest, I would much rather go with you than anything else.”

Eh. She sort of just blurted out something embarrassing, but she does not hint at any nervousness. Of course, she’s rather giddy inside. Where are they going? What does Cyrus wish to show her? Is this one of those romantic moments she read in one of the novels she snuck from the library? So many thoughts race rapidly through her mind overshadowing the fact that Cyrus struggles with his own emotions in tremendous ways. Yet, Helle could not help but wonder if…

Her emerald eyes turn to Cyrus before noticing his outheld hand. There was only a moments pause before she placed her armored digits into his palm. Slowly her eyes rose again to meet his. There it is. That vacant look, the price he paid for his powers. However, it seemed less intense than normal much like before, and Helle couldn’t help but frown forgetting her schoolgirl fantasies and replacing them with worrying thoughts.

“It is okay Azmi. You do not have to strain yourself. I understand.”

Sun May 17, 2020 5:49 pm

CYRUS OF THE AFFECTIONATE FLAME

Though it pained him to do so, Cyrus could not help but offer her a small smile at that slip of the tongue. Yes, he knew that she would be quite glad to accompany him wherever he went. It was not a matter of loyalty to himself or to his cause, regardless of how much he might have considered that ideal. Perhaps it was better this way.

"Normally I might chastise you, remind you that it is my duty as the leader of the Vandenreich to take those burdens upon myself. But this is simply a personal matter. Ah, now give me but a moment."

There was no need to invoke the full scope of his divine power for this, and so he simply spoke the words with his own mouth. It would be a waste of force to call the world to speak it for him.

"Yasra rhemean sinn kabz."

Cyrus found traveling in this manner, by simply becoming a divine wind not beholden to any physical form, rather convenient. He was unsure if Helle might feel the same way, to have her corporeal body temporarily erased. But it lasted only a moment, and when that moment was over, the two stood once more hand in hand, now in what seemed a small desert oasis. What once had been the setting sun in the Pacific was now the rising sun upon these sands, and only a small lake and a modest castle, carved into the top of a plateau, gave any indication they were not in the middle of nowhere.

"Take your time to recover, if you require it. To travel in that manner may be jarring. None will bother us here, of that I am profoundly certain."

END POST | COME AND LOOK UPON THE HEART

Mon May 18, 2020 9:51 am

Helle Armstrong

Helle felt herself desire to make an argument against Cyrus’ self sacrificing ideology. However, they did not come together to debate, once more, about Cyrus’ condition or their duties. If only it proved just as easy to push her worrying thoughts to the back of her mind. At least they are in her head and not out in the open. Still, at a later date, she will make sure to let her thoughts be known.

Giving Cyrus his moment, Helle had expected their choice of traveling to be something akin to the first time they had met. Much like then, words she could not understand were spoken which caused her eyes to instinctively close knowing what follows. Her body became no more as she became nothing more but thoughts blowing in a slight breeze. She was only a being of no form for barely a blink of an eye, but such a transition left a sickening feeling in her stomach. However, being as she’s been through this before, her body quickly bounced back from such nausea as her emerald eyes opened to take in the sandy oasis around them.

The sun in the sky caused her gaze to squint as she took in the lake and castle near them. A castle on such a high level of land. Helle’s mind begins hypothesizing about the importance of this area and what it means to Cyrus. So many possibilities, but only one answer shall prove correct. Though, she finds herself antsy and ready to discover the secrets within and learn of what Cyrus wished to share with her and only her. Her rising curiosity even caused her grip around his hand to tighten slightly, and with the attention span of a six year old, she’s already walking forward expecting Cyrus to come with or be dragged.

“I am fine Azmi. Let us continue on.”

Coding in Template By:
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Wed May 20, 2020 9:18 am

CYRUS OF THE AFFECTIONATE FLAME

"Ah, so headstrong... But, I can hardly list such a thing as a negative trait in you."

Keeping up with Helle as the two moved toward the castle on the plateau. It was, compared to many of the palaces throughout the world, a modest place, seemingly built more for the purposes of defense than luxury. Though the sun beat down on them rather harshly with its morning light, Cyrus was wholly unconcerned by it, and as the two approached the plateau, Cyrus led her up the path toward its summit. He had not been here in several years now, certainly not since he had...changed. As they walked, the Quincy Grandmaster was almost...serene, yet he looked out toward a small tower on the ground below them with the faintest frown.

"It was in this place, nearly 400 years ago, that I was born. Truth be told, it feels as though an eternity has passed. As if the wheel of fate has turned through the whole of time, and I have come here only after living all of creation. There is such a gulf between what is and what once was."

Continuing on for a bit longer, eventually the two arrived in the courtyard, a modest affair shaded by palm trees, a dried and empty fountain resting in the center. The sands of the desert had certainly been carried on the winds, and it seemed even Cyrus' relatively short absence had left the place in something resembling disarray.

"This courtyard is the place I learned the Quincy arts. My brothers and I all were shown everything that my father knew. It was grueling work, if my memory serves."

He could not quite bring himself to step forward yet. Not out of grief, or out of a hesitation to return to this place. No, Cyrus' eyes were quite firmly focused upon this place he had spent his early years. He knew the grief that had once filled him each and every time he stepped across this floor.

"I was the only one who survived my training. Perhaps it was my own fault, for pressing father to push us beyond our limits, to test us to our utmost."

His free hand tightened, not out of anger, but in a clawing, almost desperate action to evoke some feeling in himself upon this sight. But physical pain would not return that unfathomable weight upon his shoulders. There was nothing here now but objective knowledge of what once had been.

"Once upon a time, I swore to myself and to my father that I would not let their deaths be in vain. I carried with me their sanrei gloves to ensure I would remember."

Cyrus stared for a while longer, his gaze still only on the courtyard. When he spoke, his authoritative tone seemed absent, replaced by something far less certain.

"I know all of these things, Helle. Yet they now mean nothing in my heart."

END POST | COME AND LOOK UPON THE HEART

Thu May 21, 2020 11:04 am

Helle Armstrong

Headstrong?

“...”

Maybe… Helle would have surely apologized and slowed down, but Cyrus actually liking it caused her to barely slow her pace as her eyes flicked to the side with her cheeks burning slightly. The sun shining down on them didn’t help her rising temperature either, especially while she ordained her armor. She should have asked for a bit more time to undress herself just a bit for this trip, but she did not think they would be exploring a desert oasis. The sand getting into her armor because of the passing wind also proved annoying, but she can deal with small annoyances if it meant understanding Cyrus just a bit more.

They walked together, hand in hand, exploring the area. Well, it’s mostly Helle exploring with her eyes for Cyrus knew the place already. He seemed calm to Helle, but she could only imagine the thoughts running through his head, the memories he has of this place. That’s when he spoke somewhat after looking downwards at some tower with, what appeared to be, a small frown. Helle could only listen and wonder what brought on such a measly expression knowing what it represented. 400 years? Helle is rather young compared to Cyrus. Helle feels as if she’s missed a whole lifetime herself, but her 20 years of life is nothing to Cyrus’. A comment did not come to Helle after Cyrus had finished, so her only response was to nod her head and continue on as he did until they reached a courtyard.

Helle wondered how beautiful the area was in its prime. Her eyes found themselves focused on the dried fountain as Cyrus continued on with his reminisce of the past listening intently to what is shared, learning the whole time. It proved hard to read Cyrus. His issues with showing emotions made his story feel more like an outside narration than from his own troubled memories. Again, she sees the extent of the price he paid for the power he donns now. Helle still wonders if such power was worth losing what made a person human. Is throwing away something you didn’t agree with such an easy task? Would it not have proven more fruitful to work and evolve like most humans? To be able to feel that satisfaction… Ah. How selfish of her to put her ideals in place of Cyrus’. He did what he thought right for his kind and the world. She could not fault him for such, but she can fault him for going to such an extreme. Maybe if she was there before it happened. Maybe she could have helped him. Yet, those thoughts are just as selfish because she knows not if she would have thought of Cyrus the same she does now. One can dream, however.

“Even if you have lost your ability to feel, you still have the memories. You still carry that oath you swore. You’ve sacrificed so much to make everything that has happened here mean something. Don’t let the fact that you can’t feel stop you. Let it be the reason you strive forward Azmi. You haven’t disappointed anyone, not yet. And, if you swore to make sure that your family’s death is not in vain, then I will swear that your sacrifice will not be in vain. If you are afraid that you will stray, I will help in keeping you straight down the path you promised to follow.”

She paused in her words wondering if she’s saying the right thing. What does Cyrus need right now? Affirming words of encouragement? A loving embrace? Someone to simply be here with him? Will anything she say or do matter? Ah, the price Cyrus paid is now hanging over the both of them as one struggles to feel, and as the other struggles to help. Helle’s head fell as she lost herself in a moment of despair which simply caused her to lean over and place her head gently against Cyrus’s shoulder reaching upwards with her free hand and placing it over his chest before sliding it down towards his clenched fist to simply encase gently.

“Even if I don’t understand completely, my Liege. I am a Captain in your Reich. Not only that, but I have found myself caring a bit too much about your wellbeing, so much that it pains me that it no longer pains you. I suppose you can no longer understand the troubling thoughts that cause my words to stutter or my legs to tremble. I am somewhat selfish, my Liege. But, I am a simple young woman with simple dreams. And, one of those dreams is to see you smile once more, maybe even cry.”

She moves herself from beside him to right in front of him taking both his hands and looking up at him with her dazzling emerald gaze filled with determination and care. She couldn’t help but crack a small grin that broke whatever sentinel-like aura she could have held and made her seem like a simple caring woman who didn’t have any power in the world. The only thing she has, right now, is her emotions. Ah, she could not help but recall back to the small infirmary she shared with Cyrus where she acted in much the same way as now.

“Even if you can’t feel, remember. As long as you remember and continue fighting for everything you swore to be, then, I believe that everything will turn out alright, Azmi. I guess I must say that, once again, I will follow behind you as a captain and as… your friend.”

That stung for some reason...

Thu May 21, 2020 12:16 pm

CYRUS OF THE AFFECTIONATE FLAME

A decided pain coursed through every fiber of Cyrus' being as Helle spoke to him. He did not have to wonder why that was. She was something beyond subordinate, that much she had shown to him time and again. He knew what it was that she felt toward him, even if in the most purely intellectual sense. He wondered what his life might have been like had he known her sooner. Had he met her before he cast everything aside, where would he be today?

Such hypotheticals are useless. But still he wonders. Still he wonders as he leans forward, gently touching his forehead to hers. Still he wonders as he closes his eyes, not wishing to see anything right now, thinking only about this immediate moment. Still he wonders as his grip upon the Captain's hands tightens, and as he thanks the Wise Lord that this woman surely had the strength to endure what might have crushed the hand of a weaker woman.

"You say you are behind me, Helle, but that seems to be untrue. You have walked at my side for quite a long while now."

He ached. The whole of his being was being torn apart with every moment that he forced himself not to be consumed by the divinity within him, and that voice which spoke in unknowable words echoed through his very soul. But it would be a dishonor to this woman before him to let even these faintest emotions be erased so soon.

"I have asked much of you, and yet you have still promised me more. You seem wholly willing to accompany to the very ends of the Earth. It is by your efforts that I have not yet collapsed in upon myself like the very last days of a star."

He found it hard to speak now. His agony only grew as he held Helle in such a way, stood so...closely to her. Intimately.

"I will ask so very much more of you. You have promised to be my anchor, to maintain my humanity. I have brought you here that I may ensure these things are never forgotten. There is no one upon this Earth or within the myriad realms that I would trust with this knowledge but you. I do not ask this of you as my subordinate. I ask it of you simply as Helle."

END POST | COME AND LOOK UPON THE HEART

Thu May 21, 2020 7:40 pm

Helle Armstrong

“...”

Helle was not prepared nor expecting her caring acts to be returned as they were. She felt her body flinch ever slightly as Cyrus’ head rested against hers. If she were just a measly spectator, how could she watch this scene and not think it romantic or similar to that of a fairytale movie? Time stilled for her, the rustling sand stayed at bay around them, the empty castle seemed their own despite the ghosts that linger. Such a scene felt too surreal to her, and only the fact that the emotions that ran rampant within could never be returned as easily as such simple physical contact kept her from doing something she always dreamt of doing. Her emerald eyes closed as she wished to see nothing but darkness. She allowed herself to swallow as her hands were squeezed and calmed herself.

“I… Thank you, Azmi.”

What could she possibly say, right now, that could encompass everything she felt or wanted to feel? It’s impossible to voice it. It’s almost impossible to act on it. She couldn’t. She wouldn’t. For him. Already, she could feel the pain he is enduring just so she could feel like everything she has already said wasn’t for not. And, that pains her. More than him telling her no, it pains her to hurt him this much. She could almost cry right now, but she remained steadfast. If he requires an anchor, then, she shall be that anchor. He desires to never forget, so she will never forget. He cannot feel, so she will feel for him. That is what she can do for him, not as his subordinate, but as Helle.

She will not rush him. She will not pull him closer or push him away. Right now, she is whatever he wants her to be. Hasn’t she always. Even though she works tirelessly to protect the world, deep down, even she knows she does much to bring him satisfaction. Yes, she has fallen. It’s so easy to fall, yet. so hard to pick yourself back up.

For the Satisfaction of my Soul [Cyrus/Helle]

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