A Dulled Blade Can Still Cut, Poorly (Fuuen/Elyss)

“Everyone expected something from me. You’re not the first I’ve let down, and I’m scared of the thought that’d you’ll not be the last, but I’ve come to accept that I’ll continue messing up until I figure myself out.”

Her thoughts move to Ulv and everyone else that she has been under directly or through other means; the looks of everyone she’s let down in such a short amount of time. Of course this hurts, but it is something that needed to be done, and she felt somewhat relieved that it happened now rather than later. Though, her goal for now is clear. She wishes to dominate this anger inside, this chaotic spewing sea of raw emotion that reigns supreme of her mind, soul, and body. Her emotions’ control over her is so intense that even her Zanpakuto was molded by her innate instincts. She knows she wants to help people, she knows she wants to make everyone proud, and she knows she’s not a monster. Now, she simply has to learn how to do just that without losing herself again: let her want for a fight not turn into a need for violence, focus her fury and turn it into passion instead of fear, and become stronger for herself while not demeaning others.

“I don’t want to lose anyone I care for Fuuen, and you’re someone I care for. This is hard for me. I didn’t expect any of this to happen right now, as it did. I had even hoped that we’d never see each other again until I had everything under control. Life is rather cruel I must say, but I am also happy that this has happened. Everybody is waiting for me, so if it’s not too late, I’d like for you to wait for me too. And, I’ll wait for you. I want to see your smile too, ya know?”

She looked down at her cut palms and chuckled lightly while shaking her head some. She’s rather lost on anything else to say after all that, after everything that just happened.