A Dulled Blade Can Still Cut, Poorly (Fuuen/Elyss)

Why didn’t she think of this sooner? Of course being outside would prove more comfortable than a stupid bed. Though, that bed is extremely soft. Yet, it could not compete with nature: the cool breeze, warm sunlight, the silence and open space, the sounds of little creatures all about. It’s perfect for meditation and reading, perfect for someone who simply wants to forget about all her worries. However, Elyss doesn’t think meditation is for the best. She’s unsure what her mind would conjure, and without Tenmarin, she’s a bit afraid to enter into her consciousness. One becomes used to the presence of another, and without that other, things are suddenly rather bleak and hard to get used to. Heh. The redhead never thought she’d find the idea of training unappealing, yet, she couldn’t help but want to move her tired muscles in particular ways.

Her book is placed down as she rises from the ground and begins stretching. Ugh. The popping of her bones and general unfamiliarity causes her slight grief. It hasn’t been that long, but her body definitely will take some rebuilding to get back to how it was. No big deal. With a deep sigh, she simply takes a small stance, nothing perfect and simply goes through lame motions such as a slow punch and minor knee upwards. Bwah. Hopefully Ulv doesn't bother her while she’s simply abiding time.

One punch, two, even three. Elyss could feel the little actions straining her muscles ever slowly. The growing annoyance within her body felt nice however. She’ll definitely have to get back on the grind after she’s been cleared for more strenuous activity, but something like this should be alright for now. Besides, getting her body used to moving in such ways after being savagely ravaged as she was simply seemed a smart idea.

Though, who could have predicted the sudden change of events that soon occured as someone of familiarity happened to stumble into her quiet peace. Such a random intrusive warrants a rather intrusive reaction which the bandaged redhead gives by jumping slightly and turning quickly to the man that wandered where he pleased. Immediately, Elyss’ hands go behind her back to hide the signs that clearly prove she is in an unwell position, but that only hides one part of her body, her bandaged chest a clear sign that something isn’t right.

“Fuuen? W-What are you doing here? Ah… I figured… Well, I didn’t figure anything at all. Ah… Hi…”

She stumbled through her words quickly much like a kid caught sticking their hand in the cookie jar. Her eyes held guilt and her posture was far from its usual bravado. Even if Elyss tried to hide her troubled state, her body simply refused to acknowledge her own attempts.

Favorite student? Well, one would have to weigh in if Fuuen even had other students to begin with for such an assessment to truly matter. For some odd reason, Elyss doubted the forgetful samurai’s suggestion. Though, if he does have some sort of gathering of people wishing to learn from him, her being the favorite out of the bunch simply felt wrong. Elyss is far from a good student, far indeed. Yet, she should not worry the man with tales of her misfortunes. It is best to let sleeping dogs lie for now in situations they are not needed for.

“Training? Yeah… I suppose I have been doing things pertaining to myself. Took it a bit too far however, as you can see…”

It’s not an exact lie, but she’s definitely hiding important information about the current situation. Fuuen is definitely someone she’d rather have clueless to the whole truth. There are many she’d rather stay ignorant. It’s fine to know that people care and are worried for her, but she knows that such things will only worsen her already frail mind, and so, this is for the best.

“Talk, huh? Well, how have you been Fuuen. It has been a bit since we’ve last been together. Anything in your head: a girlfriend, new student, uh… a job?”

Small talk… Yay...

Of course. Did Fuuen seem like the one to give in to basic desires such as sex or companionship? Elyss isn’t the one to ask that question to. The redhead has noticed Fuuen’s lack of concern for how he handles certain things. For example, the man showed little worry for when he corrected her stance while others may have shown a bit more delicacy. Though, Elyss knows better than to completely write off Fuuen’s interests. She knows that life can throw a wrench into anything at any time when it pleases to. Luckily, Elyss isn’t in the mood to elaborate how silly it sounds for Fuuen to place her on such a pedestal. She doesn’t deserve such honors.

“Tch…”

Moving on from such a meager and pointless conversation however, Elyss kept up with Fuuen following her sensei over to the river. She did not sit though. She did not mutter a sword as he spoke, finding his words dull at best. Why do so many people care so much? She should feel appreciation right? She should be happy that so many are near and available for her to go to when she feels her mind shake and stir. Though, the river next to the two indicates exactly why she feels nothing more than apprehension.

Her onyx eyes couldn’t help but notice her own reflection in the running stream, and she found herself hating what looked back at her. People do say one’s reflection is like a mirror into their soul, and knowing exactly how fragmented her soul truly is, seeing her tired bandaged body in the water with such a solemn expression on her face staring back at her in a condescending fashion… Why, it quite literally enraged her, but it didn’t quite show on her face. Instead, the small tensing of her body, the clenching of her hands into fists, and her eyes changing from black to crimson red proved enough to show her sudden mood shift. Ah. She looks like the splitting image of Tenmarin, and that sudden laugh echoing in her mind taunting her just as her Zanpakuto did sent her spiraling into madness.

The splash that occurred next disturbed the flow of the river as ripples danced outward across its surface moments after Elyss had jumped in stomping on the disturbing image of herself. Her eyes wide with fury, a blazing crimson that bled from her irises and threatened the sclera of her, normally stoic, gaze. Her arms at her side rose as veins began to express themselves through her bandages as her clenched fists tightened causing her nails to bite into her palm and break skin dripping a slow drop of her blood into the frightened water below that began to worry with distress as the temperature around Elyss steadily rose; her Reiatsu spewing from her, barely restrained.

“Why, Fuuen? Sensei? Can’t you see I’m a mess? Are you fucking blind? Dedicating your time to me? Caring about me? Worrying about me?”

Her teeth grit and grind against one another as she looks at the man with annoyance written over her face. A sight that one would surely capture if given the chance and one that all should commit to memory if they could. Yes. Her frustrations with, not only herself, but with the world is as clear as day as the stirring water replicates her mood to near perfection. She couldn’t stop her voice from rising in tone and volume before letting it spill out like a tea kettle left on for too long.

“Why out of everything do you fucking remember me?!”

A mess. Yeah. That’s what she is. Must be some painter to be able to eventually turn something like her into a masterpiece. Elyss’ breathing is hard, and her presence is obviously irritated, not simply irritated by herself but by the cards life has dealt her: fury, passion, emotions, friends, foes, life, death… She’s infuriated by it all. Yet, here she still stands before Fuuen expressing a rage she did not with Ulv or Iori. Why Fuuen? Why did she allow herself to explode so randomly as she did with him with such simple provocation?

Fuuen sounds strange, stronger and wiser. She is reminded of Ulv scolding her, but this is something less impactful and yet soul scarring. Her fists unclench slowly as her eyes close and deep breaths are taken. Soon, the disturbed waters begin to calm as her Reiatsu falls, blood dripping from her hand slowly painting the mirror underneath creating a more appropriate image of Elyss. She does not look however. When her eyes open, she focuses those steely onyx orbs onto Fuuen, the one who says he cares and sees her potential through all her flaws.

Yes. Too many people care about her. She could only return his glare with her own as she takes a step in the water forward towards him aggressively. They care and she fails them over and over and over again. Does she care? She told Fuuen all about her desire to help others despite her own setbacks. Does she care, truthfully? Right now, does any of that matter? She is a sword meant to protect, and yet, her honed edge has dulled from slaughtering those she promised to never betray.

“Life has dealt me unfavorable cards, Sensei. I try and try to play them hoping to hit a royal flush, but in the end, I am forced to either fold or lose all I own, and I own little. Words will help little in the end. Telling me that I am wrong for hating myself will help little in the end. I hate myself despite everyone who loves me. What the hell does your advice do for me when my very existence refuses to acknowledge it? We were born differently, yet, we are so much alike I suppose: two people trying to figure out their place in this world. Though, maybe I am speaking for you. Maybe we are completely different. I try reading people at times, but I can’t even read myself.”

She trudges closer to the bank with a long sigh as she steps out and focuses her eyes to the ground. There is much in her mind, much in her mind.

“I do apologize however for making you believe me someone worth such commitment. I do not feel as such, but I also wish to be as such; a student worth your time and effort. Someone who can say they will take your lessons and use them only for good, but I can’t, and so, to not shed blood in your name, I do not believe I should learn more than I barely have. Someday, however, maybe I’ll be the Elyss that you first met filled with that brimming fire. Right now, I am lost.”