No Rest for the Blessed [Cyrus/Hayden 2: Divine Boogaloo]

"I do not necessarily expect it be easy, but I trust in you to provide me the truth of the matter."

Azmi listened intently to each word Desmond said, and at much the same time, watched how he acted, felt it. He obviously was not trying to simply correct her, but give his genuine opinion, and the feeling of his touch was gentler than she expected from him. The thought that he hated her, at one time, made her wonder if even since that day, her humanity had not been culled all the more.

"You wish us to be more than mere allies, or rivals, or whatever else might be. You wish to understand me, and for me to understand you. But you must understand, Desmond, that there is no appeal in the flesh for me. No matter what you desire at present, there is no sense one way or the other that I desire your body in such a way. There are few in this world to whom I would give myself so willingly- Perhaps 4, were I to count them."

She thought about the situation for a moment, wondered exactly where this might lead. How it would change everything.

"You are not the Angra Mainyu. This much I know for certain. You, Desmond, are one upon whom I can rely, and yet you fill a vastly different role in the heavens than I. Such is the nature of pantheon. Might we not, through such a thing, forever alter the way in which we interact? Could it occur only once, or would the kindling of desire exist forevermore? I do not want you to look at me in that way, Desmond. Nor do I wish to see you in such a light. Even if we must let the world see us as men, even if we must feel the hearts of men- You and I know the truth of our existences. To each other, I think, would it not be only right that we keep such a lack of humanity?"

The man listened to what she had to say for the moment, some things he simply didn't understand. It was the nature of being from opposing worlds, he supposed, but the general gist seemed to reach him. A low rumble escaped his throat, his eyes shifting away from her in a moment of thought. A second passed, then two, before he slowly set his eyes upon her. '

"I can't speak on wants, and how to look at one another. Such a thing seems foreign and strange, grasping what you are saying. I can't say I know the truth of our existences; with the utmost confidence. Only that there is an inkling of belief in the notion we control such existance." The man would speak trying his best to pick such words. Wanting nothing more than to come across as accurate and fairly.

"I cannot, truthfully, claim to think that a lack of humanity in any part is good between us. I feel to believe such a thing would buy into the notion that we lack such. I would say your desire to not wish, correct me if I am wrong, for one or both of us to look longingly at each other comes from humanity. You fear the change of what may come, what it may do to us, yes?" He'd ask, not quite sure if he was getting off topic. But it felt it needed to be explained, extracted upon, if he was to see what she meant and her he. "Is that, not in of itself, a display of humanity; of a desire to not change something which is by all means acceptable? I apologize if I am a jumbled mess, perhaps I have missed the meaning." He'd briefly debate removing his hands from her, but such a thing didn't seem bad.

"I can only say that If we did engage in such an activity and it altered the dynamic we have; I would not particularly view it positively or negatively. I can't even say if such a thing would shock me, or not. I do not wish to seem as if I am simply speaking in favor of such a thing; if only because you said you wished to discuss it. In that vein, I am trying to be as forthcoming as possible. Admittedly, this is very foreign ground for me." He'd laugh, almost dryly. He felt almost like a fool saying all that, wondering if he even properly understood her. He hoped he did, and in that regard she would understand him.

He was not one to make himself vulnerable or expose himself like this.

"There is value in that humanity, yes, and I do not wish to deny that truth. But you are among the few who know the truth of my burden. You know the extent of my divinity, what it has done, and I know much the same of you. In many ways, I think that what you and I share is far more intimate than any physical connection might provide, Desmond."

Her hold on Hayden's hand tightened, then, wishing to convey the earnest affection that she felt for him, the care for his well-being that flowed through her. Yes, if he desired her so strongly, then she would offer herself to him. But not without purpose, and not, as she worried, if it would change their relationship into something less than it was.

"It is not a matter of fear, I think. I do not feel fear, except for others, for the idea that I will leave the world unguided. But I understand your stance, I do. Your honesty is more than appreciated, Desmond, and I do not wish to make you feel unwanted or unappreciated."

She was quiet, for a moment or two, and she spoke again.

"Please, let me take some time to consider this. You must understand that these situations are alien to me. And, ah... I have not engaged in such a thing before. Speaking from the human perspective, I have been told that carries significant weight. If I am to pursue humanity, then I will need time to consider what that weight means to me."

"Of course, Azmi. Perhaps it is for the better, I may perish in the war and such a thing will no matter than, yes?" The man remarked with some dark humor, but in good spirits. He'd begin to withdraw from her in an almost begrudging way, he'd miss such a feeling. But as he got up he knew that he could not spend more time here, lest he decide to stay longer than he should. There was much to be done in the coming days, and even now he knew the truth of the matter.

"It is sad, to say, the next time you see me I will be sounding the drums of war. And in doing so, may perish upon the field. Should that happen, Azmi, know that;." The man voice faltered for a moment, his hand extending once more, barely brushing against their shoulder- before pulling back. His emerald eyes hardening, as the mask of the soldier came once more. "Know that you have been a far better companion, than I have right to." The man would speak firmly, that iron like voice holding the barest affections to them. Such was the nature of Desmond Hayden, unable to truly express such things most of the time.

As he turned, his shoulders seemed heavy. His frame against the light of the room showing just his silhouette casing a hard image. But with a breath he'd lift his head upwards as his shoulders seemed to rise, like a rusted machine coming to life once more as with every step he was spurred forth. By the time he reached the door, he seemed invigorated as he accepted the burdens of his life once more. A hand rested against the door frame, before he stepped outside of it- and like that he was gone.

"Divines do not die so easily, Desmond. And you and I have so much yet to do before that long rest might take us. Besides, have I not promised you that I would keep you from being taken by Death's talons? I will keep that promise."

She watched him go, and felt that familiar, unholy pain within her soul as her divinity consumed what she knew to be more powerful human emotion. What was it that Azmi felt? Grief? Regret? Pity? She could not say, but as the man turned to go, as he looked into her eyes one final time, she spoke again, with less of her typical cadence, less collection. She sounded...almost human.

"I have been far less of a companion than you have deserved. It is perhaps a curse that I never met you earlier in our lives- But, then again, it is for the best that I have only met you now, when you and I exist such as we are. I have said this before, but I have spoken only as a god. I say this to you now, as Azmi, as your dear friend:"

Azmi's smile became, for the briefest of moments, more sincere, even as pain wracked her body from the emotion behind it. But she did not mind.

"I love you, Desmond. Be well."