Retaking the Past

He'd settled into his studies and maintained his duties. As a Vice-Captain, he kept up with everything going on. Though he couldn't shake the feeling inside him. He studied hard and began showing growth. Sciences were a strong interest in him. Science was more fascinating now and something. He'd spent his life learning kido thus far. But now something about the sciences captivated him. Made him consider how amazing Mayuri and others were. Such amazing inventors within there fields. It was a fantastic place to be in. Here he could study and learn without concerns. Unaware of the status of the Gotei outside of paperwork. His emotions were still out of whack and broken. He still felt dead inside but he did accel in his classes. The Kuchiki who'd been able to pass on his merit alone. Didn't have a problem now passing his tests. His marks in Kido and Hoho were exceptionally impressive. While his Hakuda was lacking but decent as was his zanjutsu. But his swordsmanship seemed to keep improving. Every time he fought.

He found his skills in the body improving each time he fought. It was a different place and a piece of his mind. But no matter how he excelled it felt meaningless. This didn't feel that important to him. Something felt like it was missing from him. Hurting others didn't bother him that much. Their pain or his own seemed meaningless. It all seemed so pointless these papers and things. They didn't prepare people for the world. No these kids hadn't seen Bejing or what happened. Sloppy plans and everything going on. His Captain taking a risk on him seemed unimportant too. Why was it he felt so dead inside of himself at the moment? Why did it all seem so meaningless how hard he worked. His eyes felt dead as he read but showed no emotions. He'd started getting a nickname as the Cold-Blooded Kuchiki. It was circulating over the academy from students. Some said even in his medical studies he never smiled. He didn't reassure people or try to be bright about things. He spoke rarely and seemed a shade of the boy from the past.

No longer did he worry over the details of his life. No longer was he fretting about appearances. He'd gotten to a point of why care about it? This feeling felt comfortable in away. Since he'd been without his parents a sense of sadness and repressed emotions lingered. They died on that day with Akuma and now it was nothing. He ventured guesses on what he could do now with the absence inside. He couldn't feel anything, not joy nor pleasure. Everything was a hollow and empty void. He didn't care about Ulv, the people in Gotei or out. Everything seemed like a meaningless facade that he endured. He made a speech to Laskt at one point. About caring but in truth, he just didn't anymore. About connecting with their hollows being important. Akuma was gone and it was quieter now. Everything else faded away outside his book. He sat and read like a good boy for his test. But why did the book matter., what did this place matter? What was the point in sitting here and doing things?

It all felt so empty and meaningless. This was just a space of nothing with shadows walking. He didn't enter their circles or try to fix things. Nor did he attempt to join groups or conversations. Allowing that nickname to spread further upon lips. This was his reality now that he lived in.