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After War Training

Bleach Platinum Hearts RP  :: In-Character Board :: The Soul Society :: Seireitei :: The Gotei United :: Second Division: Kido Corps/Medicine/Healing
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After War Training Empty After War Training

Thu Dec 05, 2019 4:37 pm

Blood Kuchiki



Takehiko Kuchiki
おだ たつや

It was quite frankly exhausting dealing with everything after. Finally getting the cast off his arm and ribs. He'd recovered quickly enough to move on. The problems persisted in his mind. Akuma was right using his zanpakuto currently wasn't an option. Abi was gone and the future of the Unabara was now a crapshoot. But he needed to get stronger and smarter going forward. Couldn't pull stunts as he did previously. Takehiko had used a lot of power to squash the undead. It was problematic the level he fell too. He needed to increase his skills yet again and grow stronger. It was all overwhelming and troublesome in equal measure. Sokatsui and Shakkaho came easier to him now. He could release them without incantations to devastating effect. His eyes looked down at his hand thinking carefully on several subjects. He wrote down notes before moving them on. Troubling situation and events that followed. Zanpakuto powers aside it was time to start working on his powers. Cero was the name of the game

He'd fired a couple of them once and a while. But never really ventured deep enough to learn them. Takehiko's hand slowly rose to his face before pulling down. Suddenly the area was flooded with hollow energy. Takehiko felt a strange comfort putting his mask on. It felt soothing for a change and connected more neatly. Now for a cero, his eyes of black and gold moved to the targets. Now came the composition of the energy. Some would say hey you are good at kido, so cero should be easy. Slowly the crimson light began forming into his palm. It felt different from kido more violent. Hostile beneath the surface as he released it slamming it into the target. Not comfortable yet as he inhaled softly. His attacks felt different from before. Akuma's power centered around anger and inducing it. But as Takehiko got better at controlling it. He'd come to understand how to handle it. Oh, sure now and again he'd get angry as though stubbing your toe. Scream for a moment and writhe in pain. But soon after finding soreness afterward.

He looked down at his hand considering the applications of cero further. But he guessed it wouldn't do much good. Slowly he removed his mask taking a breath. It felt nice to be able to use his hollow powers more. Holding on to it wasn't as hard and now it became more clear. What his hollow's powers were capable of. He'd need to practice though. To test his skills out somewhere practical. That was the biggest test coming for him. Was putting the action to his thoughts but for now. Takehiko calmly looked at the targets. He'd gotten better at up to 50 kido in his skills. But for now, Shakkaho and Sokatsui were his favorites. The Gotei was changing and evolving in new ways. Figuring out how to grow more as a person became important. Abigail's loss taught him not to just train. But to live life more and enjoy himself. That was the lesson he took from her parting which hurt. He couldn't save her or the wall. It was a bitter pill to swallow for him.

A failure which he began to understand the finality of things even more.
Laskt
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After War Training Empty Re: After War Training

Thu Dec 05, 2019 9:23 pm

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Aftermath




Clack, Clack, Clack

The rhythmic sound of wood striking wood echoed down the halls of the Second Division barracks. Laskt's wrapped leg banged against the edge of a door as he swung his way past, and he lowered his head silently, bearing the agony with the great dignity. After all, what right had a traitor to sympathy?

The worst of the Shinigami's injuries had been healed in the weeks after the Second Division had recovered him, broken, bloody and half-insane, from the ruins of what was once Beijing. His injuries were extremely severe, and for a while they weren't sure he would recover fully. However, whether it was fate, destiny, the influence of his Hollow or just sheer dumb luck, Laskt had pulled through. He was still weak, and his leg was still broken in four different places, but he was conscious and on his feet.

Which was more then he deserved.

The doctors that had brought him back to the land of the dead hadn't been willing to let him move around initially, worried that his internal injuries were not healed enough to allow him freedom of movement. They had tried reasoning with him, begging him, and then had been forced to restrain him with a low level Kido spell. Eventually however, Laskt had had his way, and he had been given a set of crutches and told to be extremely careful.

So, naturally, he had taken Takehiko up on his invitation to visit and train with the Seated Officer.

After several wrong turns and painful collisions, Laskt finally arrived at the training yard, sliding open the exterior door with the tip of his crutch. He stopped short of calling a greeting however, blinking as he felt the boy's vastly increased spiritual power. The kid was certainly qualified for Captaincy now, there was no question of that fact. Laskt bowed his head, fighting back against the wave of self-loathing for a few moments, before raising his head once more.

"Afternoon Takehiko." He called out, fighting to keep his voice neutral. The knight eyed the destroyed target range, "Training your Hollow powers? Are you sure that's....safe mon ami?" He asked, slightly jealous of the control the boy seemed to have achieved.



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After War Training Empty Re: After War Training

Thu Dec 05, 2019 9:53 pm

Blood Kuchiki



Takehiko Kuchiki
おだ たつや


Takehiko smiled a bit sitting down as he noticed the coming. Akuma had been rather forward that training was needed. That Takehiko didn't need to rely on the powers of his zanpakuto. He could rely instead on the powers of his hollow. Akuma swore he'd not allow an incident again. It was heartwarming in a way for him."I see your recovery is going well. That's good, we both had a rough time of it. " Takehiko sat on a bench near the training grounds with several targets set in the distance. Something just didn't make him happy about his growth. "Wasn't a good showing for us huh? I can't keep using my zanpakuto...so Akuma said to start using his powers. To rely more on him as a Vizard. " He had a sad smile on his face as he could feel it inside. He wasn't going to be like his uncle or aunt. No, he felt more akin to a black sheep than anything else. His power had increased but he didn't feel like he won. He felt like in the end everything just slipped from his grasp.

Chi no Miru, the blade he wielded was troublesome as it stood. Bankai could hold an entirely new issue. So training as a Vizard became his only goal. "Something for thought, I don't think to get stronger means much...I failed despite this fact and left in terrible condition. Only able to tell the Gotei to send support." Takehiko sighed softly his azure eyes looked dimmer. As though some innocent had been taken from him. Having coated his hands in blood trying to help. He'd forgotten so long ago his oath to protect. To save lives and not use his powers. It felt like that place left him some time ago. He recalled journeying around the worlds learning what he could. He'd been beaten and broken, more times then memory would permit. But it was time to focus on Laskt as he patted on the bench. "Sit here, may as well get started. " He said softly Takehiko didn't fix his problems. Or see a way to do that yet as it would take time.

Abigail was a friend and companion he considered important. His hand slowly came to his face now. Casually he pulled downwards causing the crimson samurai-like mask too appear. "Dawn your mask and aim at the center target..like this..Focus on pooling the energy, let your hollow guide your hand slightly. " He inhaled as the crimson light began forming. On his index finger before releasing a cero slamming into the target. Takehiko had only begun training his cero now. But maybe he could help with the healing as well. Had his powers improved anywhere near enough? Maybe it was best to see how Laskt handled himself. His eyes held the familiar color Vizard had when dawning it. One thing rather impressive was Takehiko's spiritual pressure was feeling more like a hollow. He'd grown some in that regard when augmenting his power by his mask. It had become a part of his strength. He seemed thoughtful as he helped Laskt fire a cero. Merely to stretch his muscles now further.
Laskt
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After War Training Empty Re: After War Training

Sun Dec 08, 2019 11:49 am

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Aftermath



Laskt nodded slightly at Takehiko’s comment, a strange look flickering across his face for a second before vanishing, “Oui…we both did have a rough time of it. You did save a lot of lives zough Takehiko, zat Kido was somezing to see.” He said softly, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand. The boy seemed rather chipper considering the extent to which he had been wounded. Perhaps it was the fact that he had accomplished something in that battle that allowed him to shake off the memories of that battle….

He snapped back to reality as the Kuchkiki continued to disparage his performance in Beijing, to which Laskt responded by gripping the boy’s shoulder. “Mon ami, you were amazing! You alone held off most of ze horde while I failed and succumbed to my utter weakness and lust for ze fight! If you were not zere, zen we would have likely all died!”p Laskt said fervently, trying to prevent his friend from slipping into dark thoughts he did not deserve. “On top of zat, if you had not summoned ze medical corps, I would likely have died zere!” He concluded, trying not to reflect on the reason he would have died on those destroyed streets. For anyone who knew the knight, getting this many words at once out of him was unheard of, let alone praise!

Laskt would sit down next to the boy, feeling pressured by Takehiko’s newfound strength. The boy had grown so much in such a short span of time, and on top of that he was actively refining his raw power into improving his techniques. It was inspiring to watch, if only he could-

Laskt shook his head, cutting off the thought as it formed, and instead listening to Takehiko as the kid explained what they had come here to do. The knight watched in amazement as the Vizard perfectly formed and fired a powerful cero, obliterating one of the training dummies at the far end of the field. His friend’s spiritual power had evolved into something with dark majesty, feeling more and more like a Hollows. Despite himself, Laskt was impressed at the boy’s control: he was clearly becoming a force to be reckoned with.

That’s when his friend asked him to try.

Laskt’s hands shook, dark energy spiraling off them and forming a dark horned helmet, runes glowing on most of the mask’s surface. He stared deep into the mask’s eye slits, the warrior’s breath coming faster and memories flashing before his eyes. Two Vizards standing opposite of one other across a broken street. Both losing to their inner demons, one falling forevermore. Hopelessness, loss of sanity, failure, fear.

The man’s hand twitched, crushing the mask into powder that soon drifted off in the breeze. He then buried his face in his hands, a muffled sob sneaking through the gaps in his fingers.



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Last edited by Laskt on Wed Jan 01, 2020 3:44 pm; edited 2 times in total
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After War Training Empty Re: After War Training

Sun Dec 08, 2019 2:28 pm

Blood Kuchiki



Takehiko Kuchiki
おだ たつや


Takehiko's expression changed a bit into a smile as he felt nice about it. But at the same moment, crippling lingered despair in his heart. Takehiko after performing it took note of it. Watching how Laskt moved as he put a soothing hand on the male's back. "Don't move, just stay still for a moment.." His voice put out as much comfort as possible. A gentleness that ebbed from him down to his breaths. Slowly a small green ember lit upon the tips of his thumbs of both hands. The glow representing very much that of a Kaido technique. Takehiko had been working privately and studying. The mind more and the body itself to create a more concrete method. His spiritual needles started a process. Exhaling softly his left hand brought the thumb to the chest's area below the throat. "Easy, just breathe..I"ve been working on something privately. " His right hand came up with a familiar glow upon it. Slowly touching Laskt's head with it. He was going to create a Kaido based link using kido.

"I'm creating a link between us, it won't be forever or even longer than the time my hands touch you. This isn't..purely Kaido, it's something from my hollow. You see I'm able to influence my mental state into a frenzy naturally. " Takehiko said softly as he concentrated very hard. The reishi he sent in the kaido was calming. Soothing through the body like water flowing through the veins. Softly reaching through each point of the body. He didn't have the power to make Laskt feel better. That was beyond his power, he was merely comforting a friend. Using his medical knowledge and skill growing. One within his hollow's frame. For a long time, Takehiko believed Akuma represented Anger. But it was more complicated than that. Anger took many shapes and forms. Not just that of a berserker, though that was, in essence, the power. Slowly he withdrew his hands from Laskt. Takehiko hadn't perfected this yet so diving into Laskt's world. That was a dangerous endeavor of itself.

" Or at least I would credit Akuma with its process of development. " He said softly considering it again for a moment. Takehiko hoped this would help him calm down. Laskt is frightened and scared of it. He'd seen things during the war that were frightening. It reminded him greatly of how he felt when his hollow powers. The first time he'd done it losing himself into those emotions. The sheer anger that blinded every other feeling. It drowned him deep within its depths. The pain was a forgotten minstrel that once whispered in his ears. But now he'd begun to understand things. To see Akuma differently, to find the battle within himself. His hands trembled and he'd cried so long his eyes hurt. It felt like he'd lost himself admit a torrent of blood. Killing brutality in the most violent fashion possible. He'd made a portrait of death with his actions. This journey was begun so long ago at the very beginning. He and Akuma were two different beings. They both fought to hold some accord of their own.

"When I and Akuma first began, I had no idea what his powers were. They were foreign to me. I was clueless about what form they would take. If it would be like my zanpakuto. Something that caused damages to me to release power. They did do just that but I realized something recently. " Takehiko said glancing upwards towards the sky. Feeling himself begin not a rant but a gentle conversation. "It took both of us to survive and grow. For me, to endure the hardships I was presented with. To gain Akuma's trust as not just the one he resides in. But as a partner, I often thought because I didn't have Chi no Miru. I was alone in all my fights, now I realize I'm not alone entirely. My zanpakuto is dangerous. But I'm working towards building a relationship with Akuma now. " He finished again looking at Laskt despite the age difference. He wanted to help the fellow Vizard in any way possible.

"I think it's time for you to reach out and not look at him as just a monster. But consider this, they are also suffering as our worlds are subject to what we feel most."
Laskt
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After War Training Empty Re: After War Training

Mon Dec 09, 2019 7:32 pm

Honorable Vizard



Laskt Matiche



Horrific images flashed in front of the Vizard’s eyes. Laskt was back in Beijing, sword clashing against sword as he roared insanely. He watched from within himself, horrified as the last embers of humanity within the being that was once a fellow Vizard, flickered, and were extinguished. The knight could almost see the woman kneeling on the floor of her inner world, shaking as she was consumed in her entirety. The worst part about the memory was that it could have been him. Laskt didn’t remember much of his duel with Chikai in his inner world, but the feelings of helplessness and soul-crushing failure were preserved all too well. The knight had been mere seconds from following in the other Vizard’s footsteps: it had only been his physical body’s defeat that had saved him.

Gradually, the Vizard returned to the present, feeling the warm glow of Takehiko’s energy pervading through his being. Laskt drew a shaky breath, passing his hands over his face. “I am….sorry mon ami. I didn’t mean for you to see zat.” He said quietly, kneading his hands in his lap as he sat on the dusty ground. He thought about commenting on the fact that his friend had used the corrupting influence of his Hollow to calm him down but decided against it. Takehiko clearly had better control of his Hollow, maybe that allowed him to better fight off against the madness that using such abilities created.

He sat silently like that until Takehiko spoke of trying to build a relationship with Akuma. He sighed, staring out across the cityscape of Soul Society. Laskt didn't respond until a few minutes after the boy had finished.“I am not as strong as you.” He said simply, without a trace of doubt. “Chikai no Uragiru is just too strong for one such as me to handle. He is my quite literal opposite in every possible way, and my honor demands zat I obliterate him in his entirety, not work wiz him. Despite zis, I have tried to reach out to him, tried to build some kind of relationship. It doesn’t work. Ze second we clap eyes upon one anzoer he immediately attacks.”

Laskt rubbed his shoulder, remembering the horrific wounds his last try at dominance had resulted in, “He barely has to try mon ami. Ze one and only time I have beaten him is when Madame Ulv’s Hollow weakened him severely, and even zen it was a close fight. When I betrayed you all in Beijing, like a coward, he immediately took control and…..rampaged.” He said, the tears coming again, “He was going to kill you mon ami. I felt his bloodlust like it was my own. It was only because ze ozer Vizard engaged me zat he was distracted. I had lost, and I am only still here because ze turned Vizard defeated me. I knew zis when I was first infected, which is why I spent one zousand years repressing him as much as I could. But recently, his growth has eclipsed my own, and I cannot hold him. I destroyed any prayer of a relationship when I imprisoned him. I….don’t know what to do.” Laskt finished, feeling half ashamed and half released that he was finally able to unburden himself like this. He wrapped his arms around his knees like a child, not having the courage to look Takehiko in the eye.
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After War Training Empty Re: After War Training

Thu Dec 12, 2019 12:41 pm

Blood Kuchiki



Takehiko Kuchiki
おだ たつや



Takehiko gave a sad chuckle as he leaned back into the seat. He listened calmly as he didn't chuckle at Laskt. "Strong, I guess that's one way to see it.." Takehiko's frame leaned forward. As both, his hands and fingers interlocked. "I had the lowest scores in the academy, I couldn't even use kido. Believe it or not, I was stuck and unmoving for a long time. Just going through the motions of life. Nobody said anything because I was born to the Kuchiki. But I lacked any talent any strength." Takehiko said softly as he reflected on it making sure Laskt understood. Just how much of a lost cause he was at the time. Even he saw no path forward to get stronger. His power didn't grow so he eventually with a push from Ulv went. "I trained endlessly but saw no results in sight. So someone finally told me to seek someone out... A man who was known for his speed as well as strength. He demanded 300 flash steps, I thought nothing of it and only managed to do twenty. Collapsing and passing out with him escaping me yet again. " Takehiko said softly as he once again remembered it.

Takehiko didn't see himself as a genius or a powerful warrior. He simply put himself to the brink of death every single time. "So with that, I began a journey to find someone... And for a while, I lost my voice due to my naivety. " Reaching up he pulled down his scarf revealing a ghastly scar. It was a wound that nobody should have survived. But Takehiko had only due to Arianda's intervention. He got a journal to read and yet still he understood nothing. Nothing about it as Takehiko continued to tell him his tale. "We met after my recovery, though my voice was yet weak. " Takehiko glanced at his own hands covering the scar up again. "When I finally got my shikai.I thought I'd finally made it and thought I could progress finally. Make my uncle proud, but it turns out my naivety didn't die yet. " He said reflecting on his sword's power.

His uncle forbids its usage outside of dire situations. All he could do after that was move forward recklessly and without an able mind. "I stumbled along after that fighting and getting hurt, using powers beyond my ability to handle. " Takehiko was reaching the climax and reason for his story too Laskt. "During the events of China's wall I saw her, I stunned her with multiple Bakudo. Hoping I could save her... His jaw clenched his fists tightened. His hand slammed into the bench as his eyes winced. His body trembled with anger. Takehiko wasn't mad at anyone but himself in this instance. ' But I was cocky, arrogant and foolish to think that it was enough. That just using my zanpakuto, letting my powers run rampant would help anyone!" Takehiko's teeth clenched and slowly his jaw loosened and his hands unfolded from their fists. "My fear is what held me back from anything.. I feared Akuma and his power so much. That I never once trained it or tried to understand him. In the end, one of the most important people in my life died for it. I failed because of that reason."

Takehiko unveiled his failure for Laskt to see now. He'd never trained himself outside of his control and that was it. Takehiko simply demanded without regard for consequences. That was what brought him low in Bejing. That was the truth of it all. He may be a lieutenant now, but he acknowledged it. "I understand...being scared or even..horrified of what lurks... But someday..someone important will die if you don't find courage. Within you is fear but without fear, there can't be courage.. Laskt he is strong, but only because you make him strong. " He explained it not insulting his hollow or any of them. "We yield our power to them when we are frightened, rather than working together to overcome the obstacle and survive. For when you hurt..so do they.. They are within us and should we die, so will they."
Laskt
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After War Training Empty Re: After War Training

Wed Dec 18, 2019 7:45 pm

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Hatred




The knight listened quietly as Takehiko explained his failures, barely even seeming to listen even though he took in every word. Laskt was…surprised to learn that Takehiko was much like how he liked to believe he was now, an average soul simply searching for the strength to make a difference. However, they were not alike in the one essential way that mattered, at least to the Vizard’s shattered and self-loathing mind. “I wish I could say I was like you, Takehiko, when I was in your position, but ze truz is I simply was not. I was neizer a genius nor a failure but was simply average. However, after un century of isolation, even ze barest iota of power feels unlimited. Where toi fought to make a difference, I convinced myself I was stronger zan I was, and grew prideful and indolent.” Laskt spat, the venom in his voice unlike anything Takehiko had heard from the ancient Vizard before.

Sadness and shame were rapidly replaced by rage and the familiar choking sensation of hatred, “It was zrough zis arrogance zat I was infected in ze first place, and ze reason many innocents perished. However, even at zat low, your behavior still proves itself more noble zen mine own. Instead of overcoming ze fear like you have, I ran from it. Eight hundred years of imprisonment. Zat was what I condemned my Hollow to, and I sacrificed every iota of power I could have possessed to keep him zis way.” Laskt explained seemingly fixated on this fact.

Memories of a time long forgotten floated through his mind, days of pride and arrogance that the knight preferred to forget. He raised his head slightly to stare Takehiko full in the face, his eyes bloodshot, “In every way you are better zan moi. Where I lost myself to ze madness due to mine own weakness, you resisted, and did as well as anyone could have in preventing her from succumbing. You were ze one who, despite your own beliefs, prevented many more from dying due to ze horde. All I did was prove myself ze traitor and ze weakling I always knew I was.” He finished, trying, in his own way, to assuage Takehiko’s guilt. Laskt didn’t want the boy to feel guilty over his role in Beijing. Without him, anything could have happened, and none of it good.

As the Kuchiki revealed his failure, Laskt nodded slightly to himself. Takehiko’s tale was a stirring one, and Laskt had all the confidence in the world that the boy would master his Hollow would master his Hollow and move onto the next tier of strength. A place…..where he could not follow. “But you see mon ami, zerin lies ze issue. I have vilified him for ze past several centuries, and perhaps rightly so. He is not your ideal of purity, but neizer is he ze absolution of evil. Perhaps, if he had not been locked away, he would have consumed me and slaughtered many. But I cannot know zat. A part of me wonders: what if Chikai no Uragiru is justified in his hatred for me? I tried to take responsibility for zis when Madame Ulv sent me to confront him, but words are nozing, and we both know it.”

The knight clenched his hands hard enough to draw blood, ignoring the ache in his newly-healed arms. “So you see, I do not fear my Hollow’s power: zat is not ze true problem. I fear zat he is right. And if he is right, it is my duty to ensure zat I will never be a zreat to my comrades again.”



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After War Training Empty Re: After War Training

Wed Dec 18, 2019 8:09 pm

Blood Kuchiki



Takehiko Kuchiki
おだ たつや


Takehiko sat silently and calmly merely listening. Providing his lesser age and insight on things. Somethings he realized the hard way and while he didn't preach togetherness. He saw his problems now through a magnifying glass. But he could hear it in Laskt's voice. As he swallowed a bit himself thinking back. Reflecting on when he was told by Akuma himself. That his body wasn't even worth claiming that he was weak. So weak he'd die just from the creature taking over. His hands loosened as he gave a softer smile and exhale of air. "They are right, more often than not..about those things." Takehiko said admitting something he suspected Laskt didn't expect. "Darkness lives in all things my friend, me, you, even those with great power and pull such as Captains or even our Captain Commander. " He brought a hand to his chest as he thought about it longer. "Pride, Envy, Lust, and sometimes even Greed. These were emotions I had but the worst of them was Wrath. I was angry at the world you know..So furious that I couldn't save my mother and father. That I was merely an onlooker to their execution by demonic forces. " He sighed feeling a small flare of his blood running hot. But exhaling he remembered that night in the hotel. The first connection is formed by him and Akuma. How it felt at that very moment. "He told me, I was too weak merely a pathetic being with nothing worth giving. It felt like my world had been ripped apart." He said softly as he'd been counting on Akuma. He wanted to lean on Akuma's power and progress forward. But he made crucial errors all along the way. It wasn't as though he walked a path without problems. No, it was one almost constant and without recourse. He had to train himself in a way where life was on the line. Not because he was a Kuchiki, not because he thought himself anything better. Nor because he owed a debt of gratitude for his survivor which he did. but for one simple reason, he wished to see suffering defeated.

"After that, I struggled and clawed at everything I could. Trying to aimlessly absorb knowledge in every field. Never focus on what was in front of me. When he told me that I felt a lump in my throat and defeated. But instead of being smart about it. I ran away from it Laskt, I ran from the truth. " He turned his vision over to glance at Laskt again. "What it comes down to..is a single fact he must accept and you must accept. You are both right and wrong, neither of you holds an advantage over the other. Because in the truth of it they see our darkness clearer than we ever would. Akuma knew my weakness keenly. But now that we fight as one...I feel a kinship with him. Because I faced the fact that in the end. We want the same thing..We desire to live and save people's lives to test ourselves against the mightest enemies. For what we encountered in Bejing pales in comparison. I sensed him in the distance a man consumed of madness..His power was overwhelming just like Miss Ulv's..as we are, we won't save anyone important..not even ourselves. So we've got two choices we can make Laskt. Strive forward."

He slowly looked out towards the targets as he prepared to finish his thought now in one sentence. "Or, we watch it all burn on the sidelines as our loved one's put everything on the table. I don't know about you, but the idea of my uncle taking to the field makes my stomach turn. The idea that Big Sister Arianda or Miss Ulv may have to fight on our behalf. That we put them at risk by remaining this way..I just can't do that..I won't let what happened to Abigail happen to another person..That's where I stand, I am scared terrfied of facing that man. Of facing those powers beyond my imagination. I often feel a cold sweat run down my body. But the alternative for me..is so much worse." He said as he closed his eyes finishing it soon as he couldn't help but ramble on he guessed.

"And now Akuma is the same way, all I can say is search your feelings and his. Common ground does exist between you. Where it is I can't truly say. I was promoted to Lieutenant, I've got to stop doing what I have been..something must change for me. You'll find it I promise my friend. "
Laskt
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After War Training Empty Re: After War Training

Mon Dec 23, 2019 9:51 pm

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Hatred



Laskt felt himself falling deeper and deeper into a well of self-recrimination, the familiar pain rising like bile in his throat. He had felt this way before, long before many modern Shinigami’s souls had passed into Soul Society. The knight had ran from it, denied it, but was eventually forced to hide from it in order to keep his sanity. The Vizard’s long centuries with the Detention Unit had served this purpose well, but recently, the pain permeated even down to those dank cells. It was perhaps because of this fact that the ancient Vizard began to become more active in the Gotei, and indeed things began to get better. However, with the advent of Beijing, and Chikai’s strength slowly returning to his peak, the pain and trauma had just released more of the same.

Laskt blinked in surprise as Takehiko admitted that their inner Hollows could be right on occasion, a sentiment that stirred the Vizard out of his self-pitying wallow. He opened his mouth, as to object to this sentiment, but instead closed it, listening intently to the boy’s speech. The knight guiltily realized that he had known nothing of Takehiko’s story before this day, and, indeed, hadn’t really bothered to learn. The fact that this failure was only the latest of a long list of them didn’t make the Shinigami feel much better, not by a long shot.

Laskt sighed heavily, “Your tale is an inspiring one mon ami, but I fear my circumstances are different than yours. Your Hollow exposed your weakness, yes, but you fought valiantly to establish a rapport despite this, and proved toi Hollow wrong, if not forging ahead regardless. However, what am I to do? I have already denied and jailed him for…so long.” He shivered, “Indeed, it seems we have been at war for so long zat we no longer share a common goal as you do. My only wish is to protect people. To serve, to discharge my duties to ze best of my abilities. Ever time Chikai no Uragiru has been manifested in ze physical plane, he has sought nothing blood ze blood and ze slaughter. Zese goals….do not seem reconcilable.”

The storm within abated for a moment, as the boy spoke of the man at the center of Beijing. The knight’s expression visibly hardened, almost growing hateful for a moment. “Even in the midst of ze Madness, I sensed him as well mon ami. His power was….beyond my comprehension, twisted and corrupted into pure evil. Zat loss of control is something zat I most hate, and most fear.” Laskt admitted softly, his voice barely audible, “But zese gods are things that we must confront for the good of others, so I will do so.” He explained, his shattered resolve reassembling itself, if only for a moment. This oath was one that was core to Laskt’s morals and being, and it was obvious that he would have thrown himself at the source of the Madness if he had had the opportunity to do so. Within seconds however, this resolve shattered once more, sinking back down into inconsolable misery.

The knight would nod to himself slightly as Takehiko concluded his speech. He inhaled, exhaled, inhaled, exhaled. The world faded into muted colors, his friend into a barely visible speck on his subconscious as the knight looked inward. Despite his fears, failures and reservations, a very human part of him wanted to fight as the new Lieutenant suggested, to force his Inner Hollow into a partnership, willing or otherwise, and go on to become an even greater warrior. However, the moralistic and ethical side of him still balked, “I……I just don’t know mon ami. I am not a strong enough person to forage ahead, nor good enough to forgive myself, and I am definitely not charismatic enough to convince Chikai to trust me. I am not strong enough to force him to submit or impress him. I just don’t know how any encounter in ze future will go differently zan those I have already had.”



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