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Re: Trying to Understand [PRIVATE | Serenity]
Thu Dec 07, 2017 8:46 am
TEN THOUSAND SWORDS
The golden eyes that looked at Midori looked down to the tiled roof they were sitting on as she pulled away from the captain when she felt her hand get healed and the scolding for her attempts at masking her emotional pain with physical pain. She moved back and shifted a little more to their original seating arrangement as she stayed silent when Midori brought up love, hearing a chuckle in the back of her mind from her zanpakuto spirit at the memories they were both thinking of which brought a little blush to her face but she shook her head, she had convinced herself that was not love. That was lust and she didn't even go that far before it felt wrong and she never wanted to try it again. When Midori had finally finished Erika would have her turn to speak.
"I loved her... why should it matter that it wasn't romantically! Everything you just described is how I feel towards her, being in her presence was what made me happy I would wait my entire shifts and do all my duties under her just to see her smile at the end of it all, I would draw out hugs from her for as long as I could get out of her and when she left and I thought I'd never find her or see her again... I... I tried. I don't believe you, why should one even waste time with love if it just hurts people. Love is... Love is cruel and I hate it. If falling in love means betraying those I see as family then I'd rather die right there. She... she didn't need to leave, she didn't need to cut me out. You can forgive her, you are just her friend... she ruined me. Forgiving that.. I gave her the majority of my life and then she tossed me away."
"So tell me Midori... the love between a mother and lover is different, yet tell me do you think if I was her daughter and she gave birth to me do you really think she'd toss me aside then for him!? From everything I've learned and heard about love a mother's is the strongest, it just proves that she doesn't love me like I thought she did whether she knew it or not. We're just the less appealing dish that was served once the other one got took away."
Her last words were filled with anger and her pain, there would be the small aspect would would make it seem like she spat them at Midori when she compared them both to the less appealing choice as she turned away and brought her now healed hands up to wipe her eyes. She could understand why Tsubine did what she did but it only made her hatred come back with a vengeance at being reminded she was inferior to her.
Coding Altered From: [THEFROST]'s
- TsubineYe Olde Guarde
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Re: Trying to Understand [PRIVATE | Serenity]
Fri Dec 08, 2017 12:38 pm
Tsubine Koezuka
""You bitch! You fucking bitch! I... I can't.. I made a mistake. I..... this was a mistake, I should've just stayed away and accepted you were dead!"
Had Tsubine not hurt her, there might have been a slap. Had this not been Erika, there might have been a slap. Had she not been right, there might have been a slap. Tsubine winced at the words, letting her dau—Tsubine didn't deserve the right to be called Erika's mother right now. She watched as Erika ran off, knowing that the pain she had caused was simply too much for her. She frowned. It was not the most pleasant of experiences—seeing someone you love run away from you. Tsubine didn't know if it was better to let Erika go or to chase after her. Would Erika prefer...
"You shouldn't be thinking whether or not you 'should.'" The voice came from within. It was someone she knew well, someone who explained the world in ways Tsubine hoped to one day be able to. Sōtsume Kōshin was the only person who had Tsubine's ear like Midori did. After all, she was Tsubine's Zanpakutou. "Erika, your adopted child, is hurt. It is a mother's duty to help a child when they're hurt, no matter if the child wants the help or not." Tsubine's mouth drew into a line. She didn't know if that was the right choice. "Tsume, I don't k—" "Trust me on this. Go to her. Give her a bit of time, but go to her." Tsubine sighed as she agreed.
Tsubine searched with a meandering path. She wasn't trying to hurry along to find Erika. Erika needed time to herself to parse the information given to her. And yet, Tsubine walked with a brisk pace. She wanted Erika back. There was no doubt in that. Her Zanpakutou spirit made one thing clear. Erika was not to be left alone forever. Tsubine was going to have to be a mother to her and that meant sometimes forcing yourself back into their lives. It meant being the one to take action.
It wasn't until Tsubine heard that Midori had made an appearance due to a scuffle (rumors spread surprisingly fast) that she had a destination in mind. Despite being in the Seireitei for only a day, she was able to lock onto Midori's Reiatsu far more easier than before. As she neared her best friend, Tsubine stopped. The other Reiatsu near... it was... Erika's? Yes, no doubt. The two were near one another too. Tsubine concealed her Reiatsu more than before, edging closer until she heard Erika's voice. She was beneath them, behind Erika and probably within the very edges of Midori's vision.
Tsubine heard it all. Well, all being Erika's last rant. It was enough for Tsubine to understand the gist of what was going on. Tsubine didn't appear behind Erika to give her a hug like before. She knew how that'd end. "Erika." Tsubine called out, her arms crossed to comfort herself. "Love is cruel. It is capable of bringing about the worst pain you can think of. It is capable of ruining people. People die because of it. It hurts. At the same time, love is capable of bringing out the best in people. It's capable of causing someone to wake up, smiling and laughing every day. It's capable of bringing people so close that they are inseperable."
Tsubine would hold up a hand to any interruptions, even from Midori. "I would not love you the same as I would love a child born from myself. I would not love you the same as I love any other person I adopted, and I wouldn't love two children born from me the same." Tsubine sighed and looked at Erika, sadness but no tears filling her eyes. "Leaving you was a mistake, Erika. Just the same as it was leaving Midori. I won't regret leaving, but I will say that the way I did it wasn't right."
"But you need to understand something." Tsubine inhaled deeply, her reiatsu flowing out slowly. It was an enveloping thing, like a mother's hug in slow motion. "I never stopped loving you. I made a single mistake when it came to you. I should have thought you more as my child than I did. I knew it would hurt you, but I also thought you had grown more than you had. I thought you would do fine without me. I was wrong." Tsubine was not shying away from that barb towards her daughter. Erika had not shown the maturity Tsubine had thought was in there.
"Midori obviously said something to you before I got here. She's better at the talking things out part of... emotional help." Tsubine sighed. "It's the one part of motherhood I do not care for because I am so bad at it."
- SerenityThe Gotei 13 Advocate
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Re: Trying to Understand [PRIVATE | Serenity]
Fri Dec 08, 2017 1:00 pm
Midori Hayashi
Captain of the Second Division
Unfortunately, Midori was stuck. Erika seemed to have a one track mind with little desire to understand the feelings of others. She was very much a self-concerned individual, but that was expected since she was no different than a teenage girl. There was no arguing with her and Midori wasn't going to sit and agree with her to make Erika feel better about herself. It was lucky that Midori saw Tsubine out of her peripheral vision. It gave Midori a sense of ease knowing that Tsubine was there to hear that last bit. Midori had no idea what else she could say to Erika. It felt like Erika didn't want to understand.
When Tsubine called out, Midori's nerves calmed down. There was a lot of confusion and pain between the three that were here. Luckily, Midori's faded very quickly. Not once did Tsubine have to shush Midori though. She was silent throughout the entire thing. In this moment, Midori saw a piece of Tsubine that she had not seen before. There was something else there that Midori thought a welcome surprise. Tsubine's honesty and kind words were well spoken, well chosen, and if that did not click some sort of switch in Erika's head, Midori didn't think anything would. There was only so many things a person could say. Action was often best, but action took time.
Once Tsubine finished, Midori nodded and smiled toward her friend to commend her for the words she spoke here. Midori felt the apology solid and heartfelt. Now, it was up to Erika, who was resisting forgiveness, to take to heart what Tsubine said, feels, and felt then. It was the only way to move forward. Midori took in a breath, stood up, and stepped away from Erika, standing more between the two now. She turned to Erika and looked her dead in the eyes. "Well?" she asked, a small smile and curious eyes locked onto Erika, "Next move is yours. What are you going to do, Erika?"
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