Black and Blue Eyes [CLOSED]

Kei Makabe

Kei didn't know what to really do at this point. Lilith was beyond terrifying to Kei. There wasn't one reason for that either. Lilith was the perfect mother. She was the perfect warrior. She was the perfect iteration of Kei's dream self. Lilith was only more red than Kei thought. The color red was, oddly, not one of the things Kei was afraid of. It was the only thing of Lilith's that she could even relate to. The red from Lilith resonated with something within Kei. It was an internal bond that almost brought Kei to ask about...

The touch forced the thought away. Kei winced. Lilith seemed to catch this, which was appreciated. Kei listened to the red woman explain herself. It didn't sink in at first. Every word bounced off like a raindrop before settling in. As Lilith finished, Kei took a few extra seconds to process it all. Then, she nodded. "They don't tell much... I just... Well, if, um, things go, uh, bad I know I can't... well, stand up against you..." Kei shrunk up further, knowing she wasn't any match for Lilith. Kei winced again at Lilith's touch, but it wasn't as hard. It was more of a restrained reaction than before.

Kei listened again, but the speech was the same as always. Practice more. Kei practiced daily. You'll get it eventually! When is eventually? She may not need the power a century from now. Don't give up! Why...? No matter what the encouragement, Kei never seemed to improve. She'd try and try, but it was a miracle she wasn't getting worse. She sighed. "...I suppose." Kei didn't feel right with the red woman looking up to her, so she sat across from Lilith. "I've been trying to learn... trying to train... trying to get more experience..." Kei shook her head. "It just doesn't work. I'm only useful after a battle, and even then that's mediocre at best..."

Kei Makabe

Kei was going to try to not be absolutely frightened by Lilith. It was going to be hard, but that was part of life. It was going to be hard. She was going to be placed in uncomfortable positions just like this one. Kei nodded as Lilith pegged her on the money. It was easy to read Kei when she got like this, but Lilith had the eyes of a mother. It would be a high-ranking Mystic Eye if they were Sugiura. Thankfully, neither were. She didn't want to be a healer, as that didn't allow her to do anything to actively protect someone. But even that would be hard to actually accomplish at this point. She'd never get better at the rate she was progressing (or regressing). "No matter what I try, it just doesn't... work right. I get the technique down well, at least I think I do, but it just doesn't work past the... theory? I guess that's the best way to put it." Kei sighed, thinking she wasn't making much sense. "It's not like I haven't been trying."

Lilith then decided to offer some advice. Kei went still and looked as close to Lilith's face as she could. They couldn't meet eyes—er, eye in Lilith's case. So Kei focused on one of Lilith's cheekbones. She watched this woman's sharp features move around as advice poured forth. A lot of it was the same spiel as before. Kei's mouth drew to a line as the advice ended. She'd need to answer differently. She'd probably have to tell the truth. "I don't know where I'll be in a hundred years. The world is so shaky right now... there might not even be a future that far ahead for me..." Kei's gaze went downward, focusing on the grass beneath them instead.

"But if there is going to be one... I want to... well... protect the people that I like... the ones that I actually care about. I want... I want to be someone that can do that." Kei maneuvered her legs to being in front of her chest. She was almost in a little ball at this point, trying to protect herself from the incoming storm of criticism. "That's really all I want. It's all I've really ever wanted... Nothing seems to want to work that way." Kei's gaze turned back to Lilith. There was pure shame in her eyes. Kei hated what she was limited to being. "But I can't even protect myself, so how can I possibly protect anyone else?"

Kei Makabe

Work hard? Just work harder must have been a line she forgot to think earlier. It was just as asanine to her as any of the others. There were many different ways she could just "work harder." There were also many ways of rolling her eyes. She didn't do the latter. It was the same song and dance, different tune. Lilith did do the one thing that none of the other tutors and teachers she had met in her years did. She offered to teach Kei a different way. All of the aforementioned tutors were academy-sanctioned and worked there. They had really one way of teaching. Lilith? If the stories were true, Lilith never went to the Academy. She just waltzed in and demanded to join.

Kei thought about it for a moment, then nodded. It was a simple decision. "If it wouldn't be much trouble, that might end up helping. I'd like to hear what you'd have to say." Kei winced at the sound coming from Lilith's neck. She'd make sure that didn't happen again. That was nearly disgusting. She slowly rose to follow Lilith. Kei sent a hell butterfly back to the spot she was supposed to be at. Thankfully, Kei could still see it from here. It was beginning to fade away as they walked in the direction Lilith led them in.

Kei followed close behind Lilith, not wanting to get lost out here. She'd be able to find her way out in the end. That wasn't going to be pleasant though. The field Lilith chose was so pretty that Kei didn't stop in time and bumped into Lilith's chest. Blushing, Kei took a few steps back and sheepishly apologized. Lilith moved on quickly, and Kei had to think for a moment. "The only thing I have to say about my strengths..." It was harder than she thought. She didn't know exactly what it was that she was good at besides healing."is that I'm good with Kidou. Kaidou is probably my best strength in that, and Bakudo would be better than Hadō." As she continued on, it became easier to speak about what she might be good at. "I'm tougher than I am faster or stronger. I'm not that special when it comes to that either... I just know I can work harder and longer compared to most."

"I think Hakuda would be my worst skill. I don't have the strength nor the body to really use Hakuda to my advantage. My Zanjutsu is barely passable, but my Hohou is okay. I don't seem to do well when it comes to the more personal ways of fighting, I think." Kei nodded to herself, satisfied with this answer. It was the first time she'd ever been asked what her strengths and weaknesses were. The other instructors could look at the paperwork and see for themselves.

Kei Makabe

Kei was actually fine with her kidou being where it was. It encompassed her Kaidou which was undoubtedly her best skill. The only problem with it is that she didn't have enough reiryoku to power any of the higher-level Kidou. It was an issue that would remedy itself as she grew stronger. If she grew stronger. Kei shook that thought out of her head. No, there was no if she would grow stronger. Lilith was going to try to teach her. That Lilith. Kei would become more skilled, more powerful, and more... something because of her tutor. Doubt was not something she could, or would, abide by.

Kei listened with full attention to everything Lilith said. Hakuda would be the lesson of the day? Great. It was not a fully sarcastic "great," but one that muddled the line of genuine enthusiasm and dread. She'd learn from one of the best Shinigami when it came to Hakuda, so it would work out. It just happened to be that her tutor was among the more terrifying Shinigami. Kei's heart sank as Lilith proclaimed it was to be a one-time thing. Palpable disappointment loomed over her as she thought it was only going to happen once. So Kei was going to have to work twice as hard. If she only had one shot, it was going to count.

Like before, Kei stayed silent as Lilith spoke. It was a philosophy lesson first. It was good to start out that way, as Kei had never heard that particular quote before. It was mainly because most medics were well-protected. She never thought of the situation where she wouldn't have that protection. Kei never thought that if something happened to her, that her patient might die too. Maybe... she was looking at this all wrong. Maybe, just maybe, her being a doctor was a way to protect? It was a conundrum that racked her brain. She decided that was a thought best put off until later, but something was telling her to return to that thought as soon as she had time alone.

Kei's face was showing how hard the thoughts from before had affected her. Doubt and confusion were most prominent. She looked like a child who was on the verge of answering an extremely difficult math problem. Her lips were tight and slightly puffed out. Her brow was furrowed, and she gazed out at something that wasn't there. Kei was deep in thought until she decided it wasn't the time or place to re-learn her entire philosophy. Lilith moved into an offensive stance, and Kei attempted to snap out of it. Her mind was still somewhat fuzzy from that line of thought. She was given a situation and was told what her goal was. She was to be the last line of defense for her leader. Kei actually had to think about who was in charge this month. It seemed that the position of Captain-Commander was a revolving door for one reason or another.

Kei nodded. She could do this. She whispered that phrase to herself multiple times. She was going to protect him... Kei thought she understood what Lilith wanted. Kei would not use her Zanpakutou or her Kidou. She wouldn't even use Hohou. This was going to be Hakuda training. Kei took a rookie's stance. It was basic, but not unskilled. She wasn't close to falling over, but she had work that would need to be done. The stance she took was one of total defense. She couldn't defeat Lilith. She couldn't defeat that Arrancar either. Fighting like that would only endanger herself and the patient. So Kei was going to out-last the aggressor.

Kei saw the punch coming and thought of many ways to deal with that. Well, many being two. She could dodge or she could block it. Kei decided to take the blow herself. Sort-of. Kei swung her arms in an arc to attempt to deflect the blow. She knew she wouldn't have the strength in just one arm—she would need both of them. If the attempt succeeded, Kei would then ram her shoulder into Lilith's front. This would hopefully knock her back. It was a tactic to keep Lilith a certain distance away. She'd have to do it carefully though. Lilith was much, much stronger than her.

Kei Makabe

Kei tried. It wasn't her worst attempt, but even she knew the best attempts only came out in life or death situations. ...Then again, this was Lilith Antonovich. This might be life or death. What if she, even for a moment, forgot her strength? Kei would be found over there, there, there, and there—if she could even be fully found. That realization changed a bit more in Kei's mind than she would have liked. Kei was going to try harder still to keep her defenses at their maximum.

The thud of her body against Lilith's was actually unexpected. Kei didn't think she'd throw her tutor thirty feet away, but she expected more. It was useless. Anyone of strength would just plow right through her. But wasn't that why she was getting stronger? But what if she couldn't get stronger? No, such thoughts were banned. She could not let herself fall into doubt. At least not in front of Lilith. Lilith was her best chance at anything of note. To show that she didn't believe in herself enough was an insult to her tutor. Kei nodded to Lilith as she explained what was going to be taught.

Kei rubbed the impact shoulder once Lilith let go. She did her best to not let it show, but it was going to bruise soon. Kei had performed that strike with her full strength. Lilith's abs were, quite literally, rock solid. Whenever Lilith turned towards her, she would stop rubbing it immediately. She wasn't going to show weakness. Not now.

The stance Lilith made was a rather solid one. It wasn't of a skill level that Lilith fought on, but it was above Kei's own level. She tried to mimick it about six times before she got it down to an acceptable level. Each time, something else was wrong. The stance was uncomfortable to remain in for too long. She, thankfully, wouldn't be aching tomorrow. If there was one thing Kei actually liked about her powers, it was the only thing she could do with her Zanpakutou currently. She could provide a gentle heat by focusing on her blade. It was great stress and ache relief.

Kei was still in her seventh attempt at the stance when Lilith brought up a new subject. It was one that Kei didn't like. Kei was not one who liked to stare someone down—opponent or not. She also didn't like the mockery of herself that Lilith tried. It may not have meant to be her, but it's how Kei saw it. The moment Lilith's gaze shifted though, Kei locked up. She couldn't move. She tried to move any part of her body, but nothing would happen. She wasn't even shaking in terror. Thankfully it wasn't a look that was held for long. "I-I see. I think... I think I get it." Kei did her best to keep her rapidly-beating heart from being noticed. It didn't work that well.

Kei thought about how she'd do such a face. It was a decent thought. A lot of what she thought of doing was copying Lilith's earlier face. It might just work... for someone else. When Kei finally figured out how she was going to make that face, she exhaled. And then, it came out. The face was, without a doubt, almost as unthreatening as the hesitation Lilith exaggerated on. It looked more like a kid trying to be scary at Halloween than anything that'd startle an opponent. It was the beginning of something though. And, well, she'd have to start somewhere.