Where to Go From Here? The Child Visits the Father's Work [OPEN]

There was a certain charm in creatures whom knew not of the ways of the world. Some would say it would be better to live in ignorant bliss than in the brash, cold knowledge of self-awareness. Where this demon stood on this issue was unknown, but it was clear that this child was pure from being tainted entirely by this world.

As creatures evolve, develop and learn from the experiences they endure in life; these encounters can tend to lead to their spirit morphing. Some tend to lean towards the comfort of the abyss which is darkness, while others yearn for a touch of positive nature and light that is whole. Yet, there are many embodiments which stand in the middle and incorporate each into their beings. No matter how it is achieved, there are few which are left totally unscathed from this realities marks against their spirit.

So, the question was: would Khala be the one to mark his soul for the better -- or for the worse? Could this experience turn something positive, or should she just distort and confirm her own perceptive of this indifferent universe they call home?

There were many possibilities to be had, yet this demoness saw not fit to interfere at this point. Perhaps one should simply relish their childhood before being corrupted by further experiences. Whether it be a one day childhood, or a thousand year childhood; this time is most precious and filled with the least grief in more cases than not.

Yet, before delving further into this thought process, the child saw fit to speak once more and ask her one simple question that made The Godling mirror into her mind for further evaluation:

Did this pain help?

It was a simple, but profound inquiry. It did help in the way of making her aware of the suffering of others to become a more "compassionate" creature. At least, as compassionate as the epitome of all yang gets. Yet, it did not seem to benefit her much in the long run as it often reverts her back to this miserable state of being. The overwhelming sensation of loathing and negativity brew within her being like an unending cosmic storm. So, as her heart bleeds this ache, it stands to believe that this pain does not help her in anyway.

Thus -- the answer was simple.

"No."


But, as soon as that question concluded, another arose to take its place

"Why are you angry at growing?"

That might not have been the way the child spoke it, but that is how Khala interpreted his question. And to that -- she had a simple answer. People grow from pain, that is a fact more often than not. However, in most cases, they lose something precious in the process. Naivety. Naivety is often linked with happiness, innocence and weightless existence. To be naive is to be pure and free. And to crave those things made Khala desire to be pain-free and ridden from her chains of heartache.

So, her response was that of this:

"I loathe the growth from pain because it bleeds away at my essence, child. I've embodied an existences worth of it and it has done nothing but deteriorate my being. I was an absolute force of power before I became weakened, shattered and broken by become further aware and baring so much of it."

In glimpses of grainy imagery, the young Iramasha would then have an illustration of what this Godling was going on about. Back when she, Deveta and their other selves were whole, they were considered to be an absolute god at one point in time. However, such a creation could not be allowed to exist in this world and they were subsequently destabilized and broken when they incurred every known experience in the world.

From living the life of a grain of grass, all the way to enduring the life of a lowly farmer and the cosmos itself; these growing pains were repeated an infinite amount of times before the knowledge was erased and this omi-experience ruptured their being into so much pain. Making for the creation of this Imperfect God and it's broken powers.

What good was incurring further pain if it only served to take away from that bliss? That is why Deveta himself severed these functions to make himself into the ultimate apotheosis of demon kind. Destroying and disconnecting these parts of his emotional capacity made him into the perfect, cold and powerful demon so that he may live in the bliss of being a selfish child. Leaving his heart, Khala, to endure that endless torment.

And, while they made steps to mend that process, it does not so simply take away eons worth of torment. Even if many mortal a men fought heaven and hell to bring her to that point. As, even that man -- would fall pray to the sorrows of the universe.

Ergo -- pain was no good, even if she did not deny it's positive benefits in becoming a greater and enlightened being from it. It is why her religion allowed for a safe haven of eternal release within the depths of nirvana. It was a way out for spirits whom could not endure the harsh truth of this reality. Even if it is a small space in the ever expanding domain of existence, it was still a terrority which existed that yielded the release from pain and a way to find that child-like bliss once again.

With a glance of gold and glum eyes, the Godling then noticed the child inching to get closer to her.

To which she responded by simply hovering backwards.

This suitable movement indicated that she was otherwise not accepting of others to touch her in this moment. The only warmth she could accept tat this moment was her own love. As that love was the only unending thing in the universe. Even if it was abusive and toxic to herself; she would sink in its rich depths as her tendrils began to quiver and quake in the reflection of such a grim thought.

However, that did not cease in her capacity to be aware of her surroundings. As this realm was filled with divine properties, it took an equally divine presence to become aware of the alterations such a mystic land could induce on guest. So, as the memories of Madness City replayed within the the child's mind, it came as no surprise that the master of this land became aware of such a disruptive event taking place.

She could feel it through the vibrations in the air as something foul was afoot in the atmosphere. Some may call it a sixth sense, but to Khala -- it was as simple as breathing and thinking. Through their connection, these notions became further clear and she became clear as to what was occurring The youth was undoubtedly watching the murder of Elizabeth through this land tampering with his mind.

There was no point in comforting him as the pain would already make its mark. So, instead, The Godling of this domain would observe and see how the Iramasha reacted to the pain. After a few moments, he seemed to tear up and become filled with sadness. Yet, moments later, that grief turned into curiosity as the child seemed more interested in breaking forth into her sacred terrority.

Having already been defiled at this point, and filled with apathetic thoughts, the mind and land of Khala both begrudgingly allowed the youth passage into their home. There would be no need for his energy to so much as come into contact with the dome, as it would make and turn asunder to allot the child access.

Therefore, Khala would fold her arms and begin to hover ever so slowly back to her domain. However, this would not be before the child posed more damning questions. This caused her to cease in movement as she gave a solemn expression back to the male. One that was devoid of emotion and filled with cold malice.

"Because this grave represents the past now. What I was then is not what I am now. I am a creature which desires cannot be fulfilled any further in this existence."

Bit bit by, her tone soon began to dissolve and fade into the raspiness the child heard before. Yet, this time, it grew more monotone and submissive. The sky seemed to ever grow darker, while the air grew unnaturally frigid. Even supernatural beings would notice the extreme dip in the temperature as her eyes lost all light from them.

"And, by the token, it has come to my understanding that my desires are irrational as I cannot express them with even all of my divine might. Therefore, it is something which can only be achieved through total serenity and the law of absolute does not exist in this universe."

Darker, devoid and colors fading; the whole of Khala's being seemed to loose its color. In fact, the environment around them gradually lost its hues and it became nothing but a space of black and white existence. The garden, the snow and structures around them still very much existed; but everything felt devoid and empty.

And, with another glance to Khala's being, her whole body could be seen as an entity compromised of entirely white light. Yet, those eyes were blacker than the darkest black hole; and her heart and all its tendrils still flowed around The Godlings embodiment with the same shade.

"Which means, little one, my happiness is impossible as I am being that can never achieve complete fulfillment. So it matters not one he thinks of me anymore as I am the embodiment of all yang in the universe. I will never find solace and I must take solace in that fact. Dissolving pain, sadness and anger is the only route I can follow in this husk of an existence."

In single blink, it all may very well disappeared and the grasp of Khala's being, nay, her entire landscape may yet to be difficult to focus in on and achieve for the young Iramasha. Since, as her heart resonated with this internal belief, as to did her body respond and the whole of her essence became further detached from this world. It was there, but it was ever so faint as she peered at him with those eyes of obscurity.

"For my influence has only caused this pain to be spread on to others. In fact, I delighted in causing that torment to other spirits. And as proper god, I should seek to absolve myself of emotion, humanity and body in order to become one of pure nature and force. Do you not agree, little one?"

What would be the child's response to such a sentiment? That was all Khala was curious to see at this point.

...Then what is it for?

Rasuca was confused, now. He had not expected to feel the emotion of denial about whether or not her pain helped her. To the boy, it was absolutely confounding. The idea of being an absolute force of power was another one that confused his mind. The idea of being able to get whatever one desired through force before losing it all… that idea was foreign to him. But… at the same time, for a simple child like him, it made a bit of sense.

...Sad.

That was the only thing that Rasuca felt when he watched her and the other pieces of Deveta splitting apart from themselves. It reminded Rasuca, in a way, of his own ability to put himself into other people or take them into himself. While he did not fully understand his own ability, he did know that he could use it when he got mad at something and that it could help other people when they let him use it. That reminded him of a memory of a confused young boy helping him to fight a hollow by spinning his fingernails around using Rasuca's energy. That was a good time.

Not fair.

That was the second judgment the small child gave, seeing the imagery of Deveta and Khala and the differences they went through. The idea of her 'Nirvana' puzzled him. A place without pain. A place where one did not need to grow or evolve. Honestly, to him it sounded… kind of boring. Maybe that was simply his genetics talking. Maybe it was his naïve heart. In any case, while he could feel Khala's happiness towards that place, he was not sure he could agree. He supposed it was like one of his mother's dresses. It was very, very pretty, but Rasuca didn't want to bother with all of that fabric. It made getting held very awkward for his mother.

…Is ok, I guess…

That was his final thoughts on the matter. When he moved towards her, it made him a bit sad to see her moving backwards. She did not accept the comfort he tried to give her. ...Lonely… The thoughts he held towards that action made him a bit blue, though it was only because he could imagine how bad it must feel to not want to be held. He had never felt that bad before. It made him wonder.

However, those thoughts were soon broken as he felt the barrier loosen, allowing for him to walk inside the Garden of the Gods as he looked about. All around this place, something felt… odd. It was as if a presence he did not fully comprehend lived here. Truth. That was the word she had given that presence, was it not? Rasuca did not fully understand what that meant, but he listened carefully to what she had to say about the grave.

...Then why… not get new ones? Or.. Is that impossible too? Rasuca's mind was expanding, just a bit. The idea of her not being able to be satisfied in this existence combined with his query about why she could not gain new desires. His body felt the air growing colder soon afterwards, and he began to shake and shiver again, not yet used to this level of cold. Already his body was trying to adapt to it, but it was still relatively slow as he looked back into her eyes as they became dark pools.

…

Rasuca's mind went quiet, hearing what she said as he watched her body lose its color. Everything else lost its color, too, and Rasuca could only watch her in the monochrome space. ...So… you're like me.

That was the final thought that Rasuca came to. Looking up into those black pools of eyes, the gold that was now present in flecks around his own shone gently in the white light that surrounded him. ...I can't get what I want a lot, too… so my father says I need to keep growing… he says that one day I could have it all… but that there are things that I can't get, too… like getting him to stay at home all the time to play games with me… or to meet my grandpa.. He says those aren't possible either… but whenever I would cry, he would tell me that it was… just because my brain had stopped working…

Within that blank space, Rasuca's mind had been freed of all distractions. Perhaps Khala would be reminded of that sudden clarity of thought. After all, it was what had given hope and ability to another male, some time ago. She slowly seemed to disappear, even though Rasuca was staring right at her. No.

That word, more than anything else, became the foundation of Rasuca's soul. That expression, that denial, poured outwards from his essence in a way that perhaps only Khala could see or understand. It was pure, and it was unapologetic. He did not agree that she had the purpose of only doing that one thing.

...You can't run away and hide when you break the rules. And you can't avoid other people.

Those two sentiments came directly from Rasuca's heart. One was from his own experiences. His parents had taught him… it was not unforgivable to break the rules. Breaking the rules happened. Tears… tears happened when you broke something by accident. When you broke a rule without meaning to… when you regretted something you did. Looking at the woman… Rasuca wondered if she had ever cried.

That was the sentiment deep in his heart. When you did break a rule… you should tell someone. You should say what you did, and learn from it. You could not simply wallow away in it. That was even worse… because it broke the second sentiment.

A sentiment that was one that Rasuca himself had learned from the people around him. When he was very, very little… he had run away from home. He had been by himself… and while at first it had been fun… it soon became scary. He did not have anyone to depend on. He did not have anyone to get mad at. There was only… only himself. He could only depend on himself, and he could only get mad at himself.

That doesn't work.

That final sentiment went through Rasuca's mind as he slowly sat next to the stone, and his eyes gently widened as the white light that surrounded them gently shifted, a figure appearing within it as it gave him that same sad smile. Rasuca reached up a hand, waving it at the man, his eyes gently softening as his mouth opened. No words emerged from it, but it was a gesture of understanding which he could not control. ...You lost your person to come back to… your home… didn't you…? You ran away… and you haven't come back yet… because you don’t know where to go back to…

It was that final thought that brought more tears to the child's eyes, tears that dripped down gently from the red, black, and golden eyes that did not look away from Khala. Eyes that said that she was right there. Eyes that said she existed. And most of all, eyes that said that she was not without hope. She was not alone. They did not say she was faultless. But they did say that he wanted to believe that she could find her home again…

Even if she didn't know where that was….