Re: Minerva Winthrop [APPROVED; 3-5]

Thu Jan 18, 2018 8:14 pm

[adm]Moving to unchecked due to the age of this app.[/adm]

Fri Jan 26, 2018 4:53 pm

Bump. Made few minor changes here and there.

Sat Jan 27, 2018 10:07 pm

[adm]

Pure Abilities

Under this section, there are simply too many abilities here. There needs to be a drastic reduction in the abilities here.

Hereditary Ability

Mana is not a defined source of energy on PH. I'm assuming that this replaces her spiritual energy, so I'd like this to simply be made into something that scales with her tier -- as the tiers are the symbols of energy capacity.

Teleportation and Dimension Manipulation

Teleportation is banned. So, I would like this removed in its entirety. The second part -- Dimension Manipulation -- needs to be explained more, as this is less of "Dimension Manipulation" and more of just creating portals that lead into a separate space.[/adm]

Mon Jan 29, 2018 3:04 pm

Made the changes for the abilities. I also removed teleportation and showed how mana scales with Tier. As far as dimension abilities, it is only used for a pocket dimension to store items.

Wed Jan 31, 2018 10:34 am

[adm]

Name: Esuna potion
Description: Can remove sickness, poisons, blindness, and deafness. Can only use once per fight thread.

Remove the "fight" portion, and change the wording to "Can cure most general sicknesses and ailments.", as the specification of what you've written down should be changed to give a bit more creative freedom.

Parosol

"Additionally, it can also defect light and energy attacks like a mirror."

This needs expansion, as this will not be able to reflect everything.

Mental Breakdown

"...or as a projectile, it travels at 100 miles per hour. The range is 250 meters."

Remove this, and make it only able to affect others by touch.

Enhanced Healing

"If she uses this ability against an enemy, can stop their healing."

No. Either remove this or alter it so it doesn't outright stop healing and so it doesn't affect those of higher skill.[/adm]

Wed Jan 31, 2018 4:50 pm

Made the necessary changes.

Wed Jan 31, 2018 7:19 pm

[adm]

Mana

The final thing I would like added would be a tier scaling for all current tiers, outside of powerless.[/adm]

Wed Jan 31, 2018 7:31 pm

Complete.

Wed Jan 31, 2018 8:04 pm

«- PREPARE TO BE REVIEWED -»

« Application Checklist »

Name [X]
Appropriate Age [X]
Gender [X]
Appearance Present [X]
Appearance Described in Appropriate Length OR Picture is Visible [X]
Appearance is Not Claimed [X]
10 sentences for personality [X]
History is of appropriate length [X]
Powers are not Godmod/Overpowered [X]
Powers are described reasonably enough [X]
Application/RP Sample is not in First Person [X]
Skills are not filled in (Omit if a Hollow)[X]
RP Sample Present (Omit if this is not the first character) [X]
RP Sample is 10 sentences [X]

« The Willsheet Checklist »

• And Comments/Fixes •

Willpower/Determination: Adept
Mental Deduction: Adept
Pain Endurance: Beginner
Focus: Adept

Comments/Notes: Seeing as the app does not meet the standards for a 2-2, the tier will be dropped.
Tier: 3-5