I Got 99 Problems And Shinigami Are At Least 98 Of Them [PRIVATE]

There were two things that Nemain hated more than anything else on the entirety of the living, or any, realm. The first was humans. Their filthy habits, their disgusting planet, their boring nature. They were the epitome of the classical example in which monkeys are left in a room with a typewriter. It seems some genius upstairs had left too many idiots in charge of the creation machine and these dumb beasts were the product.

The second.. was shinigami. The idiotic race of self-righteous cloud-people who dared to call themselves Gods. Death gods, sure, but gods nonetheless. Their bravado, the so called helpfulness that they exuded to all those spirits that were in need of them, the "courageous altruism" of their hollow extermination. It was detestable how stuck up their own asses they all were. There wasn't a single one of them that was aware of how utterly ridiculous their entire race was, and to be honest that was more amusing than anything. It would've been sad if it mattered even slightly. As the case was, their fallacy in this matter was something Nemain saw as an advantage. Extermination was easy when your targets are all dumbasses.

It was this very course of thought that brought the blue-haired arrancar to this nameless village. Her scouting missions on earth had brought her many interesting opportunities. Weird new people to beat up as well as a whole host of screaming masses to indiscriminately slaughter. It was all fun and good at first, but her boredom came back with a vengeance after every mild distraction, and so working on the things she truly enjoyed seem to be the best course of action for her. This was, of course, referring to the elimination of those she hated, and since killing humans en masse wasn't really doing it for her at the moment, it seemed like a good time to seek out her second most hated race for a good ole' fashioned ass whoopin'. So much so was she dedicated to this course of action that she had removed her usual power-sealing sigil before even coming here, her full strength already at her disposal as she prepared to look for the perfect location. And that's exactly what she did.

She had been traveling around for a little while now, looking for the perfect spot to conduct this ritualistic beatdown when she had seen it. A tiny village, only about a hundred meters across, in the middle of goddamn desert-laden nowhere. So much so that there wasn't a defining landmark for miles, and not a single soul to be seen anywhere. Perfect. With a grin to herself as her admittedly rather weak sonido carried her upward, she would station herself on a platform of her own reiatsu roughly fifty meters up. Nemain raised herself up on the balls of her feet before extending her arms out to either side, falling forward face-first in a swan-dive toward the surface below. If one had looked, they might've seen surprised citizens pointing upward, awe-struck at the seemingly suicidal woman falling from the clouds. Nemain hummed to herself, choosing "Ave Maria" for this particular bit of drama as her descent continued. Lower.. lower.. until she was just above the roof-tops of the relatively small houses contained with in. When she reached this point, she curled her legs into her chest, flipping herself to where her head was now upward as she grinned wide to herself.

"CANNONBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALL~"

With this obnoxiously strange scream, impact was made. Debris flew everywhere as buildings, plant life, and citizens alike were thrown backward from the force of the landing, leveling everything within a 30 meter radius and leaving an enormous crater in its wake, with the epicenter being Nemain, seated firmly on her backside with her hands in the air in the traditional rock-and roll symbols, the arrancar making mock-bowing motions to herself. "And the crowd goes wild! The results are in and... OOOOH damn ALMOST a perfect score! Tens from the Earth and Iramasha judges but ONE lousy fucking Nine from the Demon judge. Poor sportsmanship if you ask me."

The espada slowly raised herself to her feet, dusting herself off a little before shoving her fingertips into the pockets of her cut-off shorts, idly chewing on the inside of her cheek as she walked forward and out of the hole slowly, garnering screams and terrified reactions including running and hiding from those spiritually aware citizens who had come over to observe the impact point. Nemain grunted, raising her left hand and sticking her pinky finger in her ear, tweaking it slightly. "Would you faggots please just shut up? Christ it's like you've never seen an arrancar drop out of the sky humming a choral arrangement from eighteen-fifty-three before. Sheesh." She rolled her eyes, removing her finger from her ear and observing it before flicking some abject gunk off of the end of it, taking another couple of steps forward before extending both arms out again, extending her fingers out as she unleashed a torrent of bala on the surrounding area, causing a, frankly unnecessary, amount of destruction in the poor village as she looked on with an extremely bored expression. After she had destroyed enough houses to satisfy herself for a moment, she leaned down into a crouching motion, launching herself up into the air before catching herself on another cushion of reiatsu.

Nemain gazed down at the village, making a rectangle with the index fingers and thumbs of both hands as she looked down at the pattern she had made. She gently tapped her chin before moving her right hand back, gently sliding her Zanpakutō part-way out of the sheath before angling her left hand back to slice her palm against the exposed part of the blade. She slammed the hilt back against the blade, once again completely hiding the rarely-seen spirit weapon as she brought both of her hands back on her right side, pointing her palms at eachother as she began to charge a cero between them.. however, with the addition of her blood, the cero began to change.. the bright blue rapidly dyeing a deep orange as it swirled and twisted maniacally within her grasp. With a movement instantly recognizable as the classic video-game culture Hadouken, Nemain threw this newly made Gran Rey Cero toward ground level, the energy screaming toward the soil below before finally making contact directly between the crater she had made , sending dust, housing, and corpses in all directions. But Nemain didn't plan on stopping there. Extending her fingers again, Nemain sent out another torrent of Bala through the smoke and dust before waiting for the entirety of it to settle. Once the dust cleared.. Nemain grinned wide, nodding firmly and placing her fists on her hips like a proud mother.

Below, in the sand, was a mural of Nemain from the shoulders up made out of the rubble and craters her blasts has created. Said bust had one hand in view, and that hand was very clearly extending her middle finger upward in a general consensus of rudeness toward the sky. Nemain giggled childishly and blew a raspberry at the ground before laying her torso down on the same reiatsu cushion she had been standing on, placing the index finger of her right hand against her lips and fluttering her eyelids in an attempt to look as innocent as possible as she kicked her legs in the air like a child laying in the grass.

"Oh my.. it seems i've done a vewy bad thing~ It'd be a reeeeal shame if any death gods showed up and reaped my dumb ass~" She yelled into the open air, idly patting herself on the rear-end with her opposite hand to emphasize her point as she looked around for anyone who might accept her challenge.

I mean.. that was definitely enough to get their attention, right?

High Arrancar Threat Level. Seeking Captain level combatant. Please send immediately. Transferring coordinates.

Those brief few messages were what had been broadcasted into the mind of Ibiki Suika as she stood on the edge of a cliff within the forest of the Soul Society. The simmering skies of the clear summer sun were a tranquil peace to her as she trained by meditating within herself. It was if she were with one in the universe; harmonizing her spiritual energy inside herself and the mystical forces that were around herself in the Soul Society. However, this serenity was disturbed by this call to action -- but she didn't feel bothered by it at all. In fact -- she kind of welcomed it. Eyes becoming more attentive from their once sedative daze, a satisfied smirk eased into The Zaraki's face as she knew that this was going to be a doozy of a mission to take on.

From the Hell Butterfly that had passed by her, The Captain of Squad Eleven had been given all the information she needed via telepathy. The Third Espada, otherwise known as Nemain Calliope, seemed to have been causing havoc throughout the globe. There had been a record of many reckless fight with this individual that had involved massive collateral damage to property and life. From their operatives on the field, the Gotei Thirteen had last spotted this dangerous foe decimating an entire village for sheer pleasure.

She was untamed, she was wild -- and she was the perfect candidate for a Zaraki to handle.

So with a ballous laugh, a burst of purple energy flared up like a wild inferno of flames around the Captain Shinigami. It was a harsh and stark shift from her once tranquil and serene demeanor.

Yeah. This felt right. Too right even.

There was too much tension and stress stemming over from the events of Demonic Incursion. Flashing back to the battles that took place on The Shadow Throne's assault on the Soul Society, there was too much that was changed that day. The Soul Society was radically changed by her devastating holy war, Tsubasa had broken his vow to her and it seemed as if all of her comrades were just sacrificed for nothing. She didn't quite understand the direction where their current Captain Commander was aiming, but she was trying to hold her reserves to not fly off the handle with how much things had been set astray thanks to that attack.

So this stunt -- was perfect to blow off some steam.

Locking on to the vicinity of Nemain's gargantuan spiritual pressure, it wasn't too difficult for the research department of the Soul Society to construct a dimensional pathway for Ibiki to travel through with assistance from the Iramashsa. Therefore, in a burst of bright white light, a spherical wormhole emerged before the Captain. Through the tunnel of a black void, she'd fall in and be thrusted between the realms of the living and dead. In this single motion, The Zaraki was meant to be transported straight into the heavens above the terrority Nemain so callously destroyed.

Thus, in an explosion of blinding light within the skies, the lone shinigami emerged into the earthly plane once more. If one were able to observe her from that vantage point, she'd appear to be wearing a tattered pale pink blouse, a long purple and pink skirt, and three chain accessories tied to her belt. Along with that, the most menacing feature of the Captain would be the two long horns sticking out of her head. It was these horns that granted her the title as The Menacing Devil, after all.

Nevertheless, as a strong gust of air blew past Ibiki and flung her flowing ginger hair against the wind, Ibiki heard the explosions that followed and understood that the target was in her sights. Focusing those amber eyes of hers down on the scene below, Ibiki's spiritual force amplified. As a part of a bodily reaction, her eyes swiftly turned to a glaring purple as her reiatsu color started to influence more of her body.

Surveying the damage, and hearing the banshee screams of The Espada in the process, Ibiki could only give a low chuckle at what she saw. To her? It was almost as if Nemain had a giant "HIT ME" sign tagged on her back. Well, soon enough, she'd tap the sign and press it hard.

But first -- she needed a chill pill.

"Scream, cry and shout some more. You are like a baby without any milk. Here, let Mama Suika tend to you, fledging."

With a coy smile creeping across her face, Ibiki's chains shackled in the distance as she pulled a purple gourd to her side. This container appeared to have white pieces of paper attached to it with red markings that were no doubt sealings of some kind. More than that, It was no bigger than a football, but its contents spawned further than the mind could dare to boggle. So as the lid to this vessel opened, a rush of booze rushed forth to the surface and flung itself like a bullet towards Nemain's mouth. The intent? Get her liquored enough to stop talking like a hooligan!

Eyes glazing over with relaxed content, Ibiki snickered and faded from the sky. Moving at the speed of a master shunpo user, Ibiki's intent was to catch Nemain off guard and elbow The Espada at her flank across a half mile radius. Giving her the impact strength of a grand master hakuda and strength user, there was no doubt in her mind that she'd at least make a good first impression before things got heated in this little tango of theirs. To The Zaraki? It was but a love tap, but it held the capacity to reduce a good deal of opponents to a crippling crawl without the adequate defenses.

And without missing a beat, the mystical gourd that the Menacing Devil Girl carried also started flicking more burst of liquid goodness in the direction of Nemain's mouth. This chick needed to sit down, chill and be placed in time out already. So with a chuckle, a shout and a burst of power; more floods of the spiritual hootch rushed out of the booze holder like tsunami wave. Surging towards the atmosphere, it consumed the skies for a mile and clouded it in a shade of purple and pink link. In mere seconds after scattering about in the skies, a torrential downpour of this metaphysical cocktail roared down on the lands like a never ending storm of pure alcoholic goodness.

Keeping her guard up, Ibiki anticipated that she'd more than likely respond with some sort of counter. So to potentially avoid, she'd shunpo as quickly as she appeared. If not stopped, she'd appear one hundred feet away from Nemain.

Breathing in, breathing out. Like motions of the wind, Ibiki was at peace with the storm all around her. The scent of liquor was ripe in the air, so her spirit was at ease. Thusly, with this relaxed state, gentle smile came into view across her soft lips.

"You feel that? Yeah. That's the rain washing away all that rancid energy. It was too toxic, so I cleaned it. I hope you don't mind, Espada." Projecting her voice throughout a broad area through her spiritual energy, Ibiki sounded confident and composed despite the volatile situation she was thrusted into.

Moving into place, Ibiki turned her body to the side and kept that right leg of hers to the back; while bringing the left to the front. Bending her knees slightly, she got into position for her fighting stance. With her hands up to her eye level, a bold smirk crept across her face as she prepared to do battle.

All elements of the cosmos were aligned -- to kick the tar out of this bastardly Espada.

"Now get up and let's see what you can do, Hollow Child~ Give this Zaraki a good show, won't ya?"