Bleach Platinum Hearts RP
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xEmmaStarLoverx
xEmmaStarLoverx
Starter Member
Joined : 2014-04-29
Posts : 2
Location : Hades Boxers

Mecali Shax Empty Mecali Shax

Wed Apr 30, 2014 6:47 pm
Danava Demon Template
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Basic Information
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• Name: Shax Mecali
• Titles: Cali
• Age: 16
• Gender: Female
• Affiliation/Rank: Demon Champion

• Shifter Appearance Written: Cali has pale skin and a round face. She has an 5'4 127lb body. Her eyes are big and black with a tint of purple. Her hair is a dark black color that matches her eyes. Her hair hangs all the way to her bottom and some comes up to cover her eyes. Her jawline is well defined. Her left ear is pierced 3 times and she hold white earings in them..
Her neck is covered in a spiked neck piece and a black color with a purple and black tie. Her top is a black bra and gray butterfly shirt and a black vest. Her bottoms a frilly skirt covered in a purple and black patterned skirt. Her upper skirt has black and white crosses on them. She has long black socks with black boots to accompany them. She finishes the look off with a purple belt and numerous bracelets and spiked-bands over her body. Some places are her arm and leg.

• Shifter Appearance Picture:
Shifter Appearance:

• True Appearance Written: In her true form Cali has knee length white hair. She grows to 5'7 and 150 pounds. Her face becomes perfectly round and she has low cheekbones. Her jawline turns to be un-defined. Her left eye turns red and her right eyes turns purple. Her whole body is covered in a hard metal that it like a next layer of skin. Her belly grows thin lava red lines in a X.
Her clothes consist of a 1 piece skin-tight black leather outfit. Ontop of that is =light purple rock hard metal 'cape' that goes up over her breast and down her back. Ontop of the metal skin, skin-tight leather 1 peice outfit and purple cape is a brown leather belt. Her shoes are blood red boots. TO finish off the look little lines go through her body the same as on her chest but smaller versions.

• True Appearance Picture:
True Appearance:
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Personality
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• Personality: Cail can be described my hot headed. She gets angered easily but she has control of who she takes that anger out on. She is also a loner which could explain that she gets angry with most of the people she does meet. She kills most of the people she meets because of her species. She is blood thirsty and being a younger demon she needs more food than older demons. She likes to travel and learn everything she can from the people she meets. She has a high respect for older demons though she doesn't like the noble born because they can be so uppity.

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Background History
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• History: Cail was born from two demons, Shinta and Baelis. Though she knew form the start she wasn't like her parents but she didn't know why. One day they up and died, Cail figured it was because of other demons. One day a random person came to Cail, introducing himself as Dielis. He offered to teach Cail the demon ways. Since she has nowhere else to go she accepted. Dielis took her and travled as they trained and learned.

One of the first things Dielis taught Cail was about origins. He explained that orings were what all Danava Demons were focused around. He said the way to find her origin is to travel and find that one thing that spoke to her in a way. She felt like she was empowered by it she would know. First they visited a forest. They stayed a few days and saw what happened. The leaves just shrivled up. Next they came to water, which evaporated into thin air. Then they came to a lake of lava. Cail felt so much power and noticed little lines of lava were covering her body. Dielis said she was of lava origin. She then felt like she knew it from the begining. She loved the color orange and loved heat. Lava could also become the color of blood. She saw herself, after finiding her origin, in a huge bodysuit that could emit lava. Next they focused on her true self. Cail found out after years of training, that she could form herself into a white haired lava warrior. After all the years of training and when she finally got down her transformation she focused on her powers. She found out she could created fireballs and lava warriors by manipulating lava and air molecules to hold them into a ball shape and then eventually a human shape . Dielis said this was her Atma Vatou. Dielis said she had to realize why these were her powers. She found the answer while she was training with Dielis and he said our powers are what make us, us. She thought back on how she liked the color but then she realized something more, she had power because she needed a way to protect herself from other demons and other things that lived in the demon world. She also needed a way to fight them off. She told Dielis right after the fight her phrases would be, 'Burn them Down, Atma Vatou Hono no Raito, of the Lava!' for her fireballs and, 'Flame all Enemys, Atma Vatou Yogan no Joo Purotekuta, of the Lava!" Dielis introduced her to her partner and her 'inner world'. She found her partners name was 'Purinsesu Kakkoi' Or Princess Hott in english, as in Hot like heat. Hot let Cail use her powers if Cail promised only to use them in the most desprate situations. Cail and Hot trained and became as one. Their pace wasn't perfect but they had pretty good teamwork. Cail learned to use Rilija decently but since their pace wasn't NSYNC they messed up sometimes. Hot also taught Cail Phyuja Rilija . It took many years of work to begin to learn Phyuja Rilija. Cail was only 12 around this time. When she was 14 Dielis said she became Adept in it. She was getting Advance in Rilija but only by about an centimeter.

When Cail was 15 Dielis was murdered by other demons. Cail was left on her own and decided she hated people, she lost some people close to her so she didn't like many people. She travled everywhere and kept in touch with her Partner as they learned and grew together. She eventually went to the path of fining food on her own, she usually killed the ones that she did meet and hated or disliked.


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Demon Powers
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• Natural Demon Traits: Cail is able to use Shadow Movement like most demons. She can also use Demon Magic and Curse Effect. She only has two other techniques she uses for now which are, Body Manipulation and Knowledge of Enviroment. She fiqured she had these from Hott.
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Origin Powers
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• Origin Name: Eien no Bodifaia

• Origin Power: Lava

• Origin Abilities: Manipulation of Lava

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Conceptual World & Eternal Partner
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• Conceptual World: Cail's Conceptual world is vast ammounts of space filled with lava lakes and volcanos and giant hills with flowing lava. The sky is a deep sunset red-orange. They places that aren't covered in lava and valcanos are red dirt. Red searing hot dirt.

• Rilija Attributes: Cail can produce a huge, searing hot lake of Lava. This lake can cover two big rooms and can burn anything they touch, ground, people.

• Eternal Partner Name: Princess Hott

• Eternal Partner Appearance: Princess Hott has pale skin and red eyes. She has fiery red hair and red freckles all over her nose and face. Her face is round and pointy. She wears a frilly red dress with orange flames on it. The dress is outlined in white lining. Her leggings are fishnet style but they are white and sparkly. She has bright red boat shoes that bring out the color of her dress.

• Eternal Partner Personality: Much like Cail, Hot is just that, hot headed. She angers easily and doesn't get along with alot of people but she puts up with them. She is slightly annoying when she actually talks to you but she just acts that way. She really is nice, well as nice as a Demon's Eternal Partner can become. Though she doesn't usually refuse Cail as they think of each others as equal. Hot would never do anything bad to Cail inless she was ordered to or something suddenly happened.

• Eternal Partner Powers: Much like Cail, Hot can control lava but unlike Cail she can do it on a much more detail level. She could make a whole house, detailed to the cracks in the pillars where as Cail could only make the house without any extra details. Hot can also make lava warriors but in larger quantities. She can also make a lava bomb as Cail only make fireballs without adding the explosion, the big boom doesn't come for Cail.
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Atma Vatou
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• Atma Vatou Name: Hono no Raito & Yogan no Joo Purotekuta

• Atma Vatou Appearance: Hono: Hono is a giant human shaped flame. Thats right. He has extremely hot flames that form his body and these flames are used for good to. Yogan: He looks fairly human, but then again nothing is human in the Demon world. Yogan has huge plates of super heated metal all through his human looking body. He has lava lines similar to Cail.

• Atma Vatou Abilities: Hono: Hono uses his body to create huge fireballs that can be thrown up to 100 meters. Yogan: Yogan can manipulate lava to form weaker versions of himself that cant be used for deffence and offence.

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Skill-Sheet
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Racial Skills
  • Za Koa Skill: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner
  • Demon Magic: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner
  • Shadow Movement: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner
  • Akuma Kyodo: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner


General Skills
  • Durability: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner
  • General Speed: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner
  • Strength: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner
  • Weapon Skill: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner


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Roleplay Sample
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• Role Play Sample: "Dielis can we stop for a second?" I asked him as he looked over his shoulder. "I need to do something." I didn't need to explain myself to him so he just nodded. I walked off, ofcouse I was going to do talk to Hott. When I got far enough from Dielis I sat on the ground and closed my eyes. When I opened them I was surrounded by a sunset sky, lava lakes, volcanos and red. Lots of red. "Princess Hott!" I called out for her. I looked around until I heard something behind me. I turned to see Princess Hott standing there in her dress. "What is it Cail?" She asked me in her bored voice though I could tell by now that she liked my visits. "I was wondered if you would tell me about Rilija?" She jsut nodded and looked me in the eye. I stared into her red eyes as she started. "Rilija is when we take something from this world such as your lava lake and transfer it to the world you are in. We both have to be thinking about what piece of the world we want to transfer then we will an image into the world you are in. Once in the world you are able to control it to your will. When done using it all I have to do is think of it back in here." She said finished and not fazing once. I jsut looked at her eyes for awhile before noticing my name was being called. "I have to go but maybe we can try this out sometime." She waved goodbye as I closed my eyes and when I opened them I was back in reality. I noticed Dielis was calling my name. I stood up and walked off to go find out what the old geezer wanted.
CPKallday
CPKallday
The KFC of PH
The KFC of PH
OTM
Joined : 2013-11-18
Posts : 1436
Age : 32

Member Info
Platinum Points:
Mecali Shax Left_bar_bleue25/100Mecali Shax Empty_bar_bleue  (25/100)
Tiers:

Mecali Shax Empty Re: Mecali Shax

Fri May 02, 2014 7:02 pm
Application Checklist
  • Name [X]
  • Appropriate Age [X]
  • Gender [X]
  • Appearance Present [X]
  • Appearance Described in Appropriate Length OR Picture is Visible [X]
  • Appearance is Not Claimed [X]
  • 10 sentences for personality [O]
  • History is of appropriate length [O]
  • Powers are not Godmod/Overpowered [O]
  • Powers are described reasonably enough [O]
  • Application/RP Sample is not in First Person [O]
  • Skills are not filled in (Omit if a Hollow)[X]
  • RP Sample Present (Omit if this is not the first character) [X]
  • RP Sample is 10 sentences [X]


Will Skills
  • Willpower/Determination:
  • Mental Deduction:
  • Pain Endurance:
  • Focus:


Comments/Notes: Alright so first, you need to expand your personality some. We only ask you at least write 10 sentences and I've only counted 7. Some being hardly worthy to be called a sentence, so you might want to elaborate on that a little.

Also, all of your abilities are not explained well enough. You need to ask yourself questions that you would want to know about someone else's ability. These questions need to be like: How many targets, how many of them is produced, how fast do they travel, how strong are they in relation to others(use of examples), what are the downfalls of the ability, does it really strain them in terms of fatigue and stamina, what's the duration, etc? Things like that. Saying lava manipulation can lead to you pretty much saying that you summon the Earth's core and bring it the battle field... which is a no-no.

And not to bring you down or anything, but I'd recommend not doing Danava, you aren't doing it wrong or anything. But I do think that you'd be able to do it better once you kind of get a high understanding of the demon race. As Danava's can be complicated and it might be a bit simpler to just make a Demon as all of the abilities you listed aren't really fitting to a Danava, they're more to a Demon. Typically Danava are a superior race to Demons and with your history and what not I don't see very much significance reflected in her being a Danava. Not only that but people don't really say "Atma Vatou Yogan no Joo Purotekuta" which I guess is just a personal preference, but your character would probably be the butt end of a couple jokes IC. lol. I'm not too sure if you have much knowledge on Bleach or not, but background knowledge stating you faced certain races might also help in the future. That's just me though, completely a suggestion.

Also, this is a third person RP, we don't allow roleplaying in first person. Meaning you can't talk about your character using "I".

Anyway, fix all that and we'll continue on with all of this. Just leave a post under this one once you're done making the changes to notify me that you have done so.
Tier: ?-?


Mecali Shax Sbb1I7e
Kakeru
Kakeru
Nise no Eiyū
ZX's OTM
Joined : 2012-05-31
Posts : 1343
Age : 34
Location : Kagatsuchi

Member Info
Platinum Points:
Mecali Shax Left_bar_bleue8700/99999Mecali Shax Empty_bar_bleue  (8700/99999)
Tiers:

Mecali Shax Empty Re: Mecali Shax

Fri May 16, 2014 8:33 am
Mecali Shax KisaragiShintarofull1319821_zpsb4f8080c

Excuse me, you've been WIP'D which means you have time to work on your profile without a gorilla running you down. When you want it checked post in the WIP checking thread please and thank you.

-Kakeru.


Mecali Shax GFHHFG_zpsj1vrrfxz
THEFROST
THEFROST
Head Admin
Head Admin
OTY

Joined : 2010-06-03
Posts : 19582
Age : 31
Location : Purgatory

Member Info
Platinum Points:
Mecali Shax Left_bar_bleue99999/99999Mecali Shax Empty_bar_bleue  (99999/99999)
Tiers:
https://www.platinumhearts.net

Mecali Shax Empty Re: Mecali Shax

Wed Jun 04, 2014 2:26 pm

«MOVING OUT THIS CHARACTER APP»

Sorry for this, but I'm gonna have to move this into Old WIP. This is due to the fact it's well over two weeks old since the last post was made and we don't know if work is actively being done on this app. Therefore, into the bin it goes!


Mecali Shax WVMWLOu
Pockeh
Pockeh
Metal as Fuck
Joined : 2010-12-11
Posts : 3387
Age : 29
Location : Where all sinners congregate

Member Info
Platinum Points:
Mecali Shax Left_bar_bleue44400/999999Mecali Shax Empty_bar_bleue  (44400/999999)
Tiers:

Mecali Shax Empty Re: Mecali Shax

Mon Aug 25, 2014 9:35 pm
Archiving from Old WIP due to member inactivity.


I envy because of the heart.
I glutton because of the heart.
I covet because of the heart.
I am prideful because of the heart.
I sloth because of the heart.
I rage because of the heart.
Because of the heart...
I lust for everything about you.


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Mecali Shax Empty Re: Mecali Shax

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