Aya check clean out

Hi there! Current captain of squad four reporting! I see you have a lot of questions, and a lot of things to do!

Now first and foremost, let's answer some questions! Well okay I'm sorta lying; I'll answer you questions in a pm and what not, because that's not appropriate for a file! Sorry about that, but I promise I'll answer them!

Now, here's some profile info; according to your last tier, you are a 3-3 correct~? So, like as much as I am a fan of people getting better, this is what I would suggest/do in your case; I'd pick up your old app and go from there, but that's just me. If you want to go ahead with this one, then you can look below this comment.






First, please take out the stuff in parentheses (these things) from the app; once you've filled them in, you don't need them there. Second, looking at your shikai, I'd like to clarify/ask a few things.

The first being it's able to fire lighting based Kidō of level 40 or below without incantation.

How does this work? Like how does Arashi Shikon help her cast lighting based Kidō of lvl40 and lower?

he second makes her immune to lighting based Kidō below level 40 and resistant to other lighting based attacks at higher levels.

First, at your current tier, full immunity is impossible. A higher resistance, perhaps, but full immunity? No. And why is it resistant to lighting?

The third and final technique is Arashi Shikon in which a single dragon shaped blast of electrical energy ,much akin to Hitsugaya's ice dragon, will fly at an enemy intent on crashing into them and electrifying them with the force of a lighting bolt. If struck the attack could stun an opponent for several seconds as electricity courses through them.

Okay this one isn't too bad, but the problem is; how is this dragon formed? Considering how expensive Hitsugaya's zanpaktou is, does this mean yours also does weather control, like his does? This lacks a lot of explanation, considering you make reference to a canon for comparison. Also, for the stun, I'd like a post count amount of how long they are stunned if hit.

Overall, it is not a bad Zanpaktou, but the problem is, is that it has too many abilities packed together; we don't have an idea of the Zanpaktou's concept, what it does in principle, it's main element, although I can guess electricity, and other things like that. It's largely incomplete; so I suggest you try brushing it up a bit, relating all the abilities to each other, and basically help along the development of the blade (if you'd rather have minor abilities and discover more via plot, make sure to mention something to that extent too.)


Now, I'm looking at your phantom tech. I'm thinking you have the two sections mixed up; the abilities section, is relatively what the phantom tech is based in; and then the powers, is what it does for you. For example, a phantom tech base could be music; and in power, the user can then sing prettily to make shock waves. Relatively something like that; so if you want to look over and see what you can fix? If you have problems, just contact me straight away~!

On a last note, you don't fill in your skill sheets till your tier is given; if you are updating an app, this applies to them too. So you'll have to wait until you are stamped again, before filling out your skill sheets!


I'm sorry if I overwhelmed you, but I'm here to help! So feel free to pm me, or if you see me on xat (I have an infinity symbol in my name) just hit me up <3

This has been your mod, Aivee!

Okay! Let's get this done a'ight? And dun worry I can split what's not necessary <3

No Incantation Kidō
Okay, I could see that, but at the same time; you have to explain how the zanpaktou spirit does this; does it naturally convert Kidō into incantation less casts? Does it gather enough energy for her to cast it without the incantation? Kidō without incantation are generally weaker then those with one; since the entirety of a Kidō tend to rests on the incantation to set it's limits. So relatively, those Kidō would be weaker in nature unless the zanpaktou itself compounds for that weakness. So this needs a bit more explanation; if I lost you, feel free to ask me.

Resistance
Mkay! please do so, and explain as so. Oh, yes, as a note, can you separate each power into their own paragraph or line? it would make it easier to see them and what not. But keep in mind that it could just be because lightning is the main element! X3

Dragon
That isn't bad at all. You should add that to her; for the stun, 1 post if they get hit by the outskirts, and 2 if they get hit head on; unless they can break that via willpower. Sounds good? Keep in mind to add these descriptions into the power x3 like how the dragon forms, how it looks and what not.

Phantom Tech
Well I was suggesting to figure out what you wanted your phantom tech to do; why does she have one, and what purpose does it serve her? From there, you'd switch your abilities, take out the ones etc. What I meant is that; does she use it to organize her things? does she use to help heal people? Does she use it to help her fighting? The main purpose for her getting that phantom tech should be it's ability; like I showed you with my example. This might take a little bit of work, but if you need ideas feel free to tell me!

Final Notes
Although, with how offensive you are, are you sure you want to join the 4th squad, the healing squad? Though, once this is all done and approved, you'll have to sign up to the gotei itself >w<

Okay! Let's get this done a'ight? And dun worry I can split what's not necessary <3

No Incantation Kidō
That seems to work out fine; just make sure to add in everything we've talked about!

Dragon
That's why we have will power skill sheets. To stop that~ so relatively, I'd say mention that it's your Kidō skill level+willpower level vs their willpower level. It should be a fair equation I think, and will prevent lolbreaking like you said.

Phantom Tech
Okay well just switch that all around a bit; like in abilities, mention it's for medical advancement, and then put down the list of skills into powers which are more or less traits derived from the main.

Final Notes
Okay! Just making sure; and don't forget to remove the additives on how to (the stuff in there) from the template >w< So yeah~ Next post should be with all your edits done mmkay?

Ai'ght! Last changes!

Dragon
One last issue here! What I meant about the charging and the stuns is that the stuns don't increase along with the charging; that would be unfair if your character couldn't move for 3-4 posts without being able to do anything right? So I suggest you keep the stun the same length for all charges; but the damage can increase. =w=

Skill Sheets
Just one question here; are those the same as your previous app? If you could link it to me, I'd love that; since this is an upgrade, I'd like to see that the sheets match up first. But after this small issue is fixed, you should finally be approvable. So sorry for the time it took ;w;