That fragile bridge that i just couldn't handle this is bad isn't it

Her fingers dug into the soft flesh of her thigh, letting the nails leave angry red marks. The marks were shaped in half-moons, but rugged and jagged. Her breaths were quick, as she felt her chest constrict. The intense feeling of pain that filled her was almost too much, as the girl jerked her head, the long bangs fluttering into her eyes. With an angry swipe, she removed them from her field of vision, leaving angry scratches across her face. She was utterly ruthless with her own body, letting out a wracking sob, her body shaking relatively. That breath had been hissed in, filled with an absolute measure of pain, as she let her gaze just stare ahead. ''Are you fucking kidding me?'' she said, her voice trembling slightly. There was a sort of just entire heart breaking quality to it; it had the sound of someone whom at broken, as her fingers curled tighter. ''No, you're fucking kidding right?'' she yelled out this time, lifting herself, pain and anger boiling in her gut, in her body, like an inferno that wasn't able to come out. It flooded her heart, as she felt the burning rash of tears at the edge of her eyes, her hand moving again, clawing. She didn't want to cry. And in the back of her mind, she knew something.

The pain felt good.

Her gaze, blue in color, angrily moved towards the male, letting a snarl cross her lips. ''I fucking knew it.'' she said, her tone going a bit deeper, darker. Lost, and the tone in itself was almost dead, as she let out a small hysterical laugh. ''I fucking knew it! You.. you.. were one of the only people I.. I.. I started to go past who I was. My walls, Everything.. I trusted you. When you said you wouldn't leave, that I could always believe in you. But now.. now you fucking tell me this?'' she said, her voice cracking. The anger made her body shake; the pain made her throat feel like paper, like she wanted to throw up. It was raging like a whirlwind in her body, and she couldn't help it; she was compelled to speak, as she felt her fingers dig into her face again, blood now trailing slightly from the intensity of her scratches. ''I actually tried believing in you, and I was just about to be sure! So then you have to fucking walk up to me, and tell me that you don't trust me, that you feel uneasy with me? I don't even fucking care about the faceclaim, that doesn't matter!'' her voice cried out again, as she slipped her fingers harshly along her exposed arms.

It hurt. It burned. It felt so right.

Her breath hissed back in, as she felt her body shake and the vomit swim in the back of her throat. The want to press a knife against her skin was more and more pressing, dancing at the edge of her mind like a siren, a vixen attempting to charm her away. ''But I guess it's fucking obvious right? You don't give a fuck do you? I mean, you've already chosen your side; them over us. Does it matter? No, we both know you can't handle two places. And well, it's fucking obvious what you choose; I was all ready to give you everything so that you could be with us, with me, and not have to worry about it. Then you come along, and throw it in my face, dash all of the things I was looking forward to. And you, of all people, know how that feels. I know you do! You told me so; you can understand me damn fucking well!'' her voice kept rising, the emotions rising up and down. She felt her own being starting to shake, the desire intensifying. Just to shut it up, she clawed down her arms again.

It was good, but she wanted more.

''Does it fucking matter? Now you just made me feel like shit; you hurt me and you don't fucking give a single flying fuck do you? You hit me in the spot that hurts the worst, and you know that. Fucking goddammit. That's.. your shit. You can't accept it uh? I knew it.. I'm not good enough. I never was good enough for anyone was I!? I was just the trash to throw aside, to use for the happy mask I kept giving. Nobody wants the real me, wants the me that feels, and just want what I can give, and keep fucking taking and taking and taking. And in the end, nobody fucking sees uh? I'm just fucking disposal; trash, a fucking swine, filthy, lazy, talentless. I should've died when I had the fucking chance! But no, I'm too much of a fucking COWARD to do that, now can I? Yeah, I'll just fucking live and live because I Can't get past that me that still wants to believe and hope. I just can't fucking do that, now can I? So what the hell man, uh? I'm done. I fucking quit. I hope you're fucking HAPPY; the fucking face claim whore is gone. You can have every fucking thing and not give a fuck. Wait, you never cared in the first place did you. You just fucking used me, just like everybody fucking else. So why the hell am I trying for, right?''

That was enough. She couldn't take it anymore.

Her fingers reached, and pulled out a knife. The male's eyes widenned, as she let out a happy smile for the first time so far, dragging the knife across the skin. Pearls of red blood bubbled up, and dropped, making lines as she let out a contented giggle. This is what she wanted to do; she wanted to hurt herself, punish herself for hoping, for trying to exist, for trying everything and just being here still. ''See? I can do it if I want to; I can hurt myself.'' she said, almost filled with joy. She was radiant; filled with a happiness and a fufillment that people never gave her. The male moved forward to stop her, and the girl just flicked the knife and cut him. ''Tch, fucking bastard, you thought I'd let you do that, uh!? This is the first fucking sign you've shown; hell, I bet if I didn't cut myself you'dve just let me wander off, right? You don't fucking care; hell, you've left right? This is only my delusion that's left.'' she said, letting a smirk touch her lips. Without warning, she dug the knife into the male's guts, and swiped up, letting his insides spill out in a foul manner. ''Aw, look at that, you made a mess.'' she let out, before slashing his throat, and then just stabbed the body how many times she wanted. After she was done, the girl walked over to the skin, and cleaned off her knife. ''Tch you messed up my knife.'' she said, her voice unfeeling, uncaring.

The clothes were dirty, so she stripped them. Now naked, she sat in a chair, and just slowly ran the knife over her leg; cutting some skin off. She began to slowly flay herself, and took those pieces of skin, and put them in her mouth, chewing, swallowing. It was.. amazing, as she licked the blood off the knife. With a giggle, she stabbed it into her legs, her knees, her ankles, loving the rush of pain, the flood of blood. It was turning her on in some strange way, as she let out another barking laugh, her fingers digging into the holes. ''Ahh, ahh, it hurts, it hurts, but it's so good. Finally I can do what I wanted to do! Thank you, thank you for fucking killing me like that, thank you thank you fucking false friend! Hahahahahaha!'' her voice broke, hissed and screamed, as she was making cuts into her thighs. Shivering, she didn't want to slide the blade in her pussy; that was too far for her. So she just let the handle slide in, and let it scrape her insides, masturbating with it. After all, she was killing herself right? Might as well do it after she'd cummed or something. Too bad she wouldn't be able to let her beloved fuck her before she died. ''Ah.. he'll get over it. Or he'll join me soon.'' she said outloud, not really caring. She was beyond caring.

After all, someone had done to her what everyone else had done.. and yet, this time, she had given her full trust. What a stupid person right? Remembering the abuse she'd always suffered, and in fact, now she let it seep into her mind like a balm. The knife clawed her sides, and then her breasts; across the arms, the blood slipping in small rivers, but not enough to make her faint yet. And then her face, as she then made a smile, and slashed it down, splitting her stomach open. ''HAHAHA Maybe now I'll lose some weight!'' she let out with a manic laugh, feeling it swell up and hurt so damn much. The pain was too much, and her vision kept going black; but she had one last duty right. ''Aha hahaha.. gomen ne, soshite.. sayonnara!'' she said, as she whiped off her glasses, hearing them crack from the force she threw them with. A final, shaking breath, she held it as she drove the knife into her right eye with a scream. Her body thrashed in the violent throes, as she felt her entire self slip away, leaving a quite bloody mess behind. Did it matter? No because she wasn't special.

Nobody cared for her. They all used her. They all hurt her. Who cared right? She was done. She quit. The people that waited for her? Never saw her. She just disapeared. Nobody knew the truth. Not that they'd care right?

Nobody cared. It was all just illusions. They all just had something behind it all.

Nobody cared. After all, nobody wanted her, trusted her, wanted to understand her.

Nobody fucking cared.

Nobody. No one. Nothing. At all.

It was best like this.

Best to be dead.

Dead and not caring.

Don't have to worry.

It's all over.


It's all over.


After all, death killed it all.



So it was all over.


Thank you.


Thank you thank you thank you.


I love you.


I'm sorry.


but it's over.


So thank you.


I love you.