Tia Kayori {WIP}

Name: (Tia Kayori)

Gender:( female)

Age:(16 looks 21)

Personality:(Fun and playful sort of childish in a way but when angry can be very serious.)

Appearance: (Short haired, usually wearing a skirt with a top and a scarf around her neck. Her zanpakutou is worn on her hip. She has short hair and is seen almost always wearing long gloves. )

PhatomTech Brain: (N/A)

Zanpakutô Spirit:(it appears to be a dog with a red petal leafed mane around its neck. It lives in the jungle and eats only plants. When made angry it turns into a blood thirsty lion growing in size and becomes stronger.)

Sealed Zanpakutô : (A Jet Black sword striped with red zig-zags.)

Shikai Description: (Shikai's description is it takes that of the sword now into red petals falling into my hand my appearance stays the same but my costume turns slightly red now.)

Shikai Abilities: (My Shikai's ability is my sword fades slowly into red petals and falls into my hand than out of the petals a small plant comes together and a small puppy head would come out of it. The head of the puppy has the ability to shoot out its tongue and inject enemies with venom. It also can shoot out leaf petals that can cut foes. And also can use its vines as a whip, and also to bind foes.)

Release:(Blossom Azumuchi)
(You CANNOT fill the skill levels in until your tier is assigned. )
Skill Level: Kidou: Beginner/Adept/Advanced/Master
Skill Level: Swordsmanship: Beginner/Adept/Advanced/Master
Skill Level: Shunpo: Beginner/Adept/Advanced/Master
Skill Level: Hand-to-Hand: Beginner/Adept/Advanced/Master

Bankai Description: (When i call upon my bankai my whole outfit turns into that of a Red long dress. My Sword still turns into petals and falls into my hands. but not out of my hands grows a Large Dragon that is wrapped in vines and red petals.it goes into the sky and wraps its body around in the sky above me and the foe.)

Bankai Abilities: (Its abilities are,The vines fall to the ground and out grows trees that grow tall around us than coil together and creates a dome around us with an opening at the top. through that opening falls red petals that are razor sharp. Me myself can manipulate those petals to cut,slash anything i want. Also through the opening the dragon can breathe down and through the breath it grows a tree around the foe with only the foes head showing and seals him there forever.)

History/Background: (Tia Kayori was a very outgoing girl on earth until she found the world and living as a shinigami was she changed forever. She loved her life on earth and would do anything to have it back. Now she lives as a shinigami and is fighting for her very own life. Tia is still very fun and outgoing and loves to fight but deep down this is not the life she wanted.)

Roleplay Sample: (..Tia would slightly step forward bowing as she would than step back some pointing her sword at her foe. As than she would than make that of the sword to soon fade into that of red petals. Than she would thrust her hand forward that of the petals now flying to the foe. Now letting the pettals soon surround the foe now giggling as she would sit cross legged on the ground...)

You have a long way to go.
The personality needs to be an entire 2 paragraph. each of which is composed of 5-7 lines in the very least.
The History needs four paragraphs at the very least.
You should describe and separate your abilities more, rather than melding them all together in a single paragraph. Just so it will be easier to understand the abilities.
And lastly... NO 1st PERSON.
That is all, now go and work on it some more.

Also, if I may add. If your character is only 16...they wouldn't have time to get Shikai...let alone be in the Shinigami Academy. You simply wouldn't have enough reitsu.