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Raiki
Raiki
Moderator
November SOTM 20112nd place
November COTM 2011 : 1st place Zefonse
Joined : 2010-09-12
Posts : 1238
Age : 33

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Platinum Points:
Zefonse "Six Paths" new power. Agito/Kyle only Left_bar_bleue0/0Zefonse "Six Paths" new power. Agito/Kyle only Empty_bar_bleue  (0/0)
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Zefonse "Six Paths" new power. Agito/Kyle only Empty Zefonse "Six Paths" new power. Agito/Kyle only

Sat Apr 14, 2012 12:59 am
  • Name Of Character: Zefonse Kaizme
  • Link To Character Profile: https://www.platinumhearts.net/t5568-zefonse-kaizme-approved-0-2
  • Reasons For Upgrading: Zefonse having became a org leader, went out and trained his mind Making a new power, along with that he unlocked "Six Paths" While all power skills from his eyes, he is limited to only one at a time, all of them carrying different risk and powers. He has used these powers when gathering up the island to guard them when he was claiming land.
    What Are You Upgrading: Adding

    Spoiler:
  • Any Extra Notes: All the "six paths" while powerful can only be used one at a time, and all carry powerful drawbacks.
  • Approved By: (ONLY THE PERSON WHO APPROVES THE UPGRADE WILL PUT THIS HERE! WE WILL EDIT YOUR POST AND ADD OUT NAME HERE!)



Last edited by Raiki on Sat Apr 14, 2012 9:35 pm; edited 2 times in total


Zefonse "Six Paths" new power. Agito/Kyle only XmGUKMS
THEFROST
THEFROST
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OTY

Joined : 2010-06-03
Posts : 19582
Age : 31
Location : Purgatory

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Zefonse "Six Paths" new power. Agito/Kyle only Empty Re: Zefonse "Six Paths" new power. Agito/Kyle only

Sat Apr 14, 2012 4:18 am





I realize Kendall was suppose to check this application, but some things are pretty out of line with this. I'll go ahead and quote the ones that stood out to me and that should be fixed after reading this post.

The target is enveloped with a barrier space and Zefonse concentrates his mind to what he gaze at. The target can struggle helplessly, but against this technique no defense is possible.

>No Defense Possible

That right there is something that irked me right off the bat. Please correct the wording to something else because nothing on this site is supposed to be unstoppable. I do not care if it is very difficult to do, but you are going to need to change that.

. Zefonse is the only one who can touch or use these lines and dots (i.e. no one can interact with the lines/dots even if Zefonse were to point out their location on something)

I'd leave this one open to someone being able to discover this with a special ability or power as even Kin's Burning Star has been talked about being able to be countered.

These lines can then be traced with a sharp object such as a knife or a sword which cuts the line (this can also be done with blunter objects such as fingers but this is generally less effective than a blade). Cutting the line “breaks” the object along that line and damage inflicted this way can not be healed or repaired in any way.

If a person is able to detect the line has been broken, then shouldn't they be able to reconstruct another one if they were able to find a way? Never liked about Shiki's eyes.

Living things whose dot was pierced get “stopped” and, as a consequence, the energy that their bodies has shall “burst” making them lose a lost of their power if Zefonse were to stab these dots, it also makes the person suffer a “blast” damaging their inside, it basically inflict critical damage on someone's life force. Zefonse calls this “skill” Jougan.

Correct to this to where it is able to be countered if needed. Even Kin doesn't go around one shoting people's energy as he has to destroy the spiritual particles around him to weaken them.

Whether it is a person, an object, a ghost, a disease, a thought lingering in someone's mind, magecraft, a ward, a psychic attack, etc, so long as it exists, he can “kill” it or at least greatly damage them.

>Killing thought's

That right there just sounds ridiculous to me.

Each layer has the defensive power of the strongest shield in existence.

Fix that to where it's one of the strongest shields in existence or an extremely powerful shield. There is no strongest of anything here.

Everything else I didn't quote I have no problems with and you should seriously watch the way you type as this might be something that could be fixed with rewording things. 'Danke


Zefonse "Six Paths" new power. Agito/Kyle only WVMWLOu
Raiki
Raiki
Moderator
November SOTM 20112nd place
November COTM 2011 : 1st place Zefonse
Joined : 2010-09-12
Posts : 1238
Age : 33

Member Info
Platinum Points:
Zefonse "Six Paths" new power. Agito/Kyle only Left_bar_bleue0/0Zefonse "Six Paths" new power. Agito/Kyle only Empty_bar_bleue  (0/0)
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Zefonse "Six Paths" new power. Agito/Kyle only Empty Re: Zefonse "Six Paths" new power. Agito/Kyle only

Sat Apr 14, 2012 9:36 am

. Zefonse is the only one who can touch or use these lines and dots (i.e. no one can interact with the lines/dots even if Zefonse were to point out their location on something)

I'd leave this one open to someone being able to discover this with a special ability or power as even Kin's Burning Star has been talked about being able to be countered.

These lines can then be traced with a sharp object such as a knife or a sword which cuts the line (this can also be done with blunter objects such as fingers but this is generally less effective than a blade). Cutting the line “breaks” the object along that line and damage inflicted this way can not be healed or repaired in any way.

If a person is able to detect the line has been broken, then shouldn't they be able to reconstruct another one if they were able to find a way? Never liked about Shiki's eyes.

Living things whose dot was pierced get “stopped” and, as a consequence, the energy that their bodies has shall “burst” making them lose a lost of their power if Zefonse were to stab these dots, it also makes the person suffer a “blast” damaging their inside, it basically inflict critical damage on someone's life force. Zefonse calls this “skill” Jougan.

Correct to this to where it is able to be countered if needed. Even Kin doesn't go around one shoting people's energy as he has to destroy the spiritual particles around him to weaken them.

Whether it is a person, an object, a ghost, a disease, a thought lingering in someone's mind, magecraft, a ward, a psychic attack, etc, so long as it exists, he can “kill” it or at least greatly damage them.

>Killing thought's

It is my wording, however the I have stated near the end of the path power two notes, that Zefonse is under mental and physiological stress when using this path and Can't keep it up. and stated at the end of the power it self is And the note of Killing Thoughts is more of "self" Claim, but never proven type of deal -thought I worded that to be that-

Other Wised Re worded thing's to make it clearer, thought I fixed them before posting it, but you know how the mind is. xD


Also of note is how if someone was cut into a multitude of individual pieces as a result of having their lines traced but was able to survive anyway despite not being able to regenerate. They are able to accomplish this if they can completely reinvent the conceptual structure of the cody, abandoning the conceptual structure that had been traced



Zefonse "Six Paths" new power. Agito/Kyle only XmGUKMS
Teitoku
Teitoku
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Joined : 2011-02-25
Posts : 2112
Age : 28
Location : Nowhere

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Zefonse "Six Paths" new power. Agito/Kyle only Left_bar_bleue0/0Zefonse "Six Paths" new power. Agito/Kyle only Empty_bar_bleue  (0/0)
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Zefonse "Six Paths" new power. Agito/Kyle only Empty Re: Zefonse "Six Paths" new power. Agito/Kyle only

Sat Apr 14, 2012 10:08 pm
I'll approve this, then.




Zefonse "Six Paths" new power. Agito/Kyle only Ap8OoJO


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Zefonse "Six Paths" new power. Agito/Kyle only Empty Re: Zefonse "Six Paths" new power. Agito/Kyle only

Mon Apr 23, 2012 2:40 am
Zefonse "Six Paths" new power. Agito/Kyle only Konachancom_-_108185_ass_blue_eyes_blue_hair_denpa_onna_to_seishun_otoko_j__shining-next_long_hair_touwa_erio_vector

Lazy bum! Moving this to approved, since it was stamped! Enjoy!
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Zefonse "Six Paths" new power. Agito/Kyle only Empty Re: Zefonse "Six Paths" new power. Agito/Kyle only

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