Forged in Guilt, Part 2 [Koga/Hana]

As his blade came around to her shoulder, Hana attempted to moved her sword in a way to block it. For a moment, metal clashed, but his strength was beyond hers and so his blade went through, cutting open the top of her shoulder. Taking a breath, Hana did not stop, she shunpo’d behind him, continuing that dangerous intent to cut her opponent, her enemy, into pieces. Swinging her blade in an upwards direction, she planned on cutting open his back. Her eyes were focused, almost too focused, like everything beyond the battlefield had disappeared, and she still wasn’t seeing Koga.

‘Calm down, Hana.’

‘I can’t.’

‘You can hurt this man. Calm down!’

‘I need real combat experience, so I have to fight like it's not Koga!’

Hana shrieked when her hip was cut, a quick high pitched note ringing in the air. For a brief moment, her mind was a swirl of chaos. The pain from being cut, the fear of being killed, the rage toward Akira, the worry about hurting Koga, the need to fight more, and the desire to get stronger. Each thought was as unique to Hana as a snowflake, but the one that dropped first was the rage.

Twisting around to face him, feet grinding across the dirt and gravel under her, a wide-eyed Hana instinctively swung her zanpakuto right back at Koga. It was a wild, unaimed swing with every ounce of strength she could muster as she was slowly forgetting where she was. She just wanted to hit him, to damage him.

'...to kill him.'

‘Hana! Get a hold of yourself!’

Hana spent most of her life daydreaming and had developed one hell of an imagination, able to block out the real world for whatever her mind created at any time. Now, she was imagining Akira in Koga’s place, so she didn’t react to Koga calling her and kept fighting. Focusing her reiryoku into her blade to sharpen the edge, Hana shunpo'd, moving to Koga's side and executing a strong, precise swing of her blade toward Koga's let arm. If she wasn't careful and she actually hit him, there was a chance a decent amount of damage would be done.

'Hana, ENOUGH.'

Hana was suddenly on her back, feet so easily swept out from under her. Frozen on the ground, her mind was brought back to where it should be as Koga scolded her. She stared at the sky above for a few seconds before slowly rising. She sat on the ground, her legs beneath her in a traditional Japanese sitting position. With her hands in her lap, Hana stared at the dirt

'Good for him. Now apologize, Hana!'

"Please forgive me..." Hana said, her voice came out weak, and she lowered her head further, face blocked by bangs. "I need to learn... the right way. Please."

Hana tried to convince herself that imagining Akira instead of Koga would make things easier. If she didn’t see him as Koga, then maybe this wouldn’t feel so difficult to fight him. But even she knew it was a silly thought, a foolish way to calm herself. She gave a faint, somewhat embarrassed smile as he patted her shoulder, feeling a fluttering in her stomach. Standing up, she placed a hand gently over the butterflies that refused to settle, steadying herself for whatever came next. She was ready to fight again, but only because it was required…

“Yes, let’s do this right.” Hana took up her stance, her gaze steady as she faced him—not Akira, but Koga. Her expression was strong, filled with quiet determination. One of these days, she told herself, she would get this right. But today, she would just give it everything she had. "Let's go!"

Hana stepped forward and, in an instant, disappeared from sight, reappearing with the dull side of her blade facing Koga. She couldn’t bring herself to cut him, not even in practice. Moving swiftly to his side, she hesitated just slightly, her swing slowing as she aimed toward his midsection. The strike was obvious, her care for him written in the gentle arc of her motion, a sign of her reluctance to land a true blow on him... no matter how much she knew she needed to.