Kiwis [Ranma, Yuuto]

Ranma wouldn’t exactly say he was scared from what Yuuto said… okay, he was, but he wouldn’t admit it. There were many things Ranma wouldn’t admit – such as his achievements. You’d think someone as careless as him would just flaunt his Shikai around left and right as a deterrent to do anything else, ‘cause he’d already gotten this far, so he might as well take the rest of the day off – but quite the opposite, ever since Ranma got his Shikai, it’d been nothing but chaos and obstacle after obstacle, broken fingers and bloody noses. It didn’t feel like an achievement at first, for a long, crude, unfiltered game of hide-and-seek in Hōkamaru’s Inner World just drained so much out of him, that when he came out, he didn’t even register [“Oh… I got Shikai now. Awesome!”] It was just a dead face being resuscitated back to life, figuratively, ‘cause he was so tired that he felt like his brain cracked.

… But to have a Captain acknowledge him was flattering. And these troubling feelings, this frustration, this worry and paranoia… it was normal. And if it was normal, then he was going the right way. He just needed to be more upfront with himself, and things would start showing themselves more and more to him.

“Huh… it doesn’t sound so bad anymore. I mean, hey, you’ve obtained Bankai like forever ago. Does it feel… any different from when you only had Shikai? Does it tingle or something?” A few funny questions, sure. He hadn't actually seen Captain Hisakawa in action, which kind of spoke volumes about his skills in secrecy, funny enough. “Y'know, maybe my skills could serve the 5th pretty well. I think I could fit a nice niche here… nah, Ranny is too fun to stay away from.”

I mean, he often wore bandages over his mouth. He was already filling the ninja stereotype pretty well.

So… basically like having an even bigger gun in your pocket? He could vision that… an ace in the hole- I mean, up your sleeve. Yeah… a real awesome assassin kinda guy- oh, but Captain Hisakawa got a good point, or rather an obvious one. Beyond just the kind of ability you had, it did take a certain mentality to work for the Covert Operations Unit. Ranma’s eyes couldn’t help but squint in suspicion at the mention of ‘sabotage’, though. He wasn’t going to say he hadn’t ever considered such a thing when dealing with unsavory people before, buuuuuuuuuuuut-

“…” A brow raised. Something felt odd about that last remark. “… Wuddya mean by that? Who’s your Sixth Seated Officer, again? Is it someone I know? Oh, is it Shuten? We’re already pals, man! She treated me to sake once – I drank tons of that shit and didn’t get shitfacted one bit… I’m telling you, fucking hooters. And not those kinds of hooters, not at all.”

Ranma and his articulation might be reminiscent of a certain someone Hisakawa knew. Then again, very likely occurrence, since they were from the same Division.

… Oh… so she held her good stuff back… upon realizing so, his face sort of greyed out in soft but notable grief. Was she underestimating his ability to hold his liquor? Did it have to do with the fact that she found him folded in half outside on the street, obliterated from a particularly harsh night of trying to forget the fact that- NOOOOO THAT WAS TOO EMBARRASSING TO ADMIT!

“You mean to tell me she gatekept my ass from the real deal?!” Ranma concluded but still asked regardless, “Nah, next time, I’m spanking her butt! Not even as a flirt – don't fucking question my loyalty, I'm a taken man – but as a fucking discipline! I haven’t drowned myself in this nectar for years just to be treated like a damn kid…” Listen, if there was anything good he picked up on from the days in the Rukongai, it was the strong shit. It was arguably the only thing from his shitty, worthless time as the goon Retsu that he actually took some pride in.

“Or maybe you spank her for me, since you’re her boss and all – make it really sting, damn, fuckin’, I’M NOT A KID!!! Damn it, she’s a head shorter than me! FUCK!”

…

…

“… Huh, I mean, it’s no big deal… no big deal… I’m a bigger man now- Seated and all, ye… so uh, lookin’ forward to cooperate with you guys! If you ever need an extra sneaky guy or someone to shout rogue Shinigami into deafness, I’m ya guy.”

Squad 8 really was the perfect place for Ranma, and he found his calling. Ready to aid literally everyone else with his eccentric flair for jackin’-off-all-trades skills and dedication to spread his arms all over the Zankensoki. And Hōkamaru was good at support, too – a lot of Shinigami found it easier to hit their enemies when said enemies were slowed down.

Suika drink sounded like a fantasy now. Knock the average man out? Suikas having super livers? What, so what you were saying was that you’d need the Liver of the Soul King to withstand it? Was that it?

… Maybe it’d be wise… for Ranma to heed the Captain’s warning. It seemed like a traditionally influenced, strong drink that Suikas took pride in – why risk destroying himself trying to prove some petty point?! Why’d he even get mad in the first place? He was a chill guy! Just ask… his Division…

Uh…

“…” Well, Ranma had not much else – however, Captain Hisakawa was definitely a fan favorite among the Captains now. No wonder he had such a position – he must’ve been sicc popular back in the day. But alas, Ranma’s head was empty. The kiwi had been delivered.

“Neh… nice talking to ya, though! Gave me a much wider perspective on things,” he thanked with a thumb up, turning around and skipping towards the exit, “Remember to eat the kiwi later! It’ll bring ya good luck!”

And just like that, the eccentric 13th Seat of the 8th poofed.