Above and Beyond [Vanyel/Amelia]

Okay, now she got it. Seeing his body language shift again when he attempted to be vague led Amelia to something darker having happened to this girl. “So, it is likely a need to protect, then?” Amelia said, tapping her painted nail at his arm. It was her way of pointing out his body language. She sighed and looked out over the park, watching what few people were out there enjoying themselves.

“Focus on the why,” Amelia said. Her thoughts went back to her own family, a sadness coming to her own eyes. “Every person in this world makes decisions based off of some sort of ‘why.’ Why do they work so hard? Why do they cry so much?” Amelia gestured to Vanyel. “Why do you care so quickly? And why does she feel so badly about herself? You can’t help that change without knowing what is causing it. We humans are much more complex than that...”

A need to protect sounded right, but, as she told him to focus on the why, it only made him more confused. He didn't know why he felt that...inherent need to protect. He found himself unconsciously bringing his legs back toward his chest as he looked forward, only partly deep in thought. The other part, however, was embarrassed, and the heightening emotion caused the aura to change from orange to a smooth, jungle-esque olive.

"I...damn it. I'm not understanding. I don't know why she feels so bad about herself. I don't get why I'm like this, carin' so fast. I know we're all more complicated than that, but, I just..."

This was frustrating. He wanted to try and answer, to figure this out. Maybe it'd help him learn more about himself, and, by proxy, learn how he could help Violet better. But, he gave a frustrated sigh as he brought his hands to his temples, harshly pressing in as he continued to try and think.

This man really stuck to his yellows. Poor guy was just being eaten up inside. Amelia turned to face him more on the bench and put two hands up, gesturing for him to calm. “It’s okay, let’ me explain.” She said and then took a moment to think. “Let’s focus on the girl first, then we can move to your protectiveness.”

“Let me use an example… Let’s say you have a car and it keeps over heating, causing it to melt a belt,” Amelia said and then giggled. “I don’t know much about cars, so just take the example, please… So, the over heating is melting the belt. You replace the belt, go driving again, and then it melts the new belt. You have to figure out the underlying cause of the overheating and fix that. Does that help?”

Noticing her move out of the corner of his eye, he turned his head to face her, seeing her turn as well. As she tried to explain further, Vanyel nodded along. Now, it made sense. Focusing on the why didn't mean to answer her in that regard, it was to try and find out that 'why.' Even if her example wasn't the most logical, that didn't matter, the idea of it was the important part.

So, as she finished, Vanyel gave a light nod, raising fists clenching one another to his mouth as he looked down at the bench, thinking. Without knowing that, anything he said to Violet wouldn't really help, or matter. Even then, it didn't seem like words would really matter in this situation at all. Not unless he knew more, and could use that to prove what he was saying.

"Yeah. So...what I was tryin' to tell her is like a screen door on a submarine. Gotta find the root cause of it all. But...then what?"

"But then what?” Amelia blinked, surprised. She thought it was obvious, but apparently not. “Well, then you’ll figure out how to help her, if you are truly dedicated to that cause, I mean. If you’ve only known this girl for a couple of weeks, be smart in how much of yourself you put into her…. Anyways, if you find out… Let’s say her insecurities come from her mother giving her up for adoption. If she doesn’t feel good enough to be kept, spending time with her could remedy that...

Or if the kids at school constantly told her that she was never good enough to join the team, then helping her find what she shines in could increase her confidence. It is going to be about finding a method that focuses on her specific problem… You don’t do heart surgery when someone needs a new liver, sort of deal.”

Amelia perked up and began rummaging through her purse. She pulled out a pen and a small writing pad. “Here’s my email and my number. Name’s Amelia by the way… If you need any advice, contact me here. I’ll do my best to help out!” She handed him the paper and then smiled wider. "Would you like to dig into your own psyche now? Figure out why you're so protective of her? I'll admit, I'm hoping it's love." Amelia said, giggling like a school girl, but she clearly wanted to help.

So, it really depended on what the overall root was. He'd have to ultimately play it by ear and figure things out from there. Vanyel didn't say anything as she finished, he just took a minute to think. The idea of not knowing what exactly he could do wasn't the most reassuring, but, he managed to do it on the fly when she first came home and the morning after. Maybe he was worrying so much over nothing.

As she wrote down her email and number, as well as him finally getting her first name, Vanyel took the paper, setting it in his lap as he automatically went to put the name, number, and email into his phone, until he suddenly stopped as she asked about digging into his own psyche. Given that she was able to do so much with so little information, and not even having met Violet, he was both impressed and curious about what she'd be able to do with someone right in front of her, able to answer questions without it being second-hand.

"O-Oh, yeah, sure. Name's Vanyel. I'm...not so sure of it being love, but, I wouldn't mind seein' what you think of it."

Amelia was able to relax as she watched his aura calm. She always disliked seeing those yellows, and gray was definitely a step in the right direction. Her own aura would have picked up, if she could see it, when he gave permission to dive into his own feelings. A lot of people would have preferred that not happen. She clapped her hands quickly. “Okay, okay… It’s extremely inappropriate to behave like that when these subjects come up, so I am sorry…” Amelia took a breath and calmed herself down to something more respectful.

“So, Vanyel, would you like to elaborate on the drugs and the ‘something else’ you mentioned earlier that you have experience with? That sort of trauma is often a good place to start when finding your own ‘whys.’”

Instinctively, he brought his legs closer to him, avoiding looking at Amelia at the mention of 'something else'. His fingers wrapped around his calves tightly, quivering in place as his thoughts went back to that bad memory. He didn't like talking about it, but, if it meant helping find his 'why,' and figuring out more about himself...maybe he needed to.

"I...I used to be in the yakuza. The drug was...heroin. I watched a friend of mine struggle with it during a really bad point in his life, along with other people."

His breathing grew shaky for a moment, and the aura that the schoolteacher saw began to dip into orange...but, as he took a deep breath and tried to ground himself, it was quick to slip back to grey.

"The 'something else'...i-is..."

He suddenly grew quiet, gripping himself so tightly his knuckles began to turn white. His eyes were wide open, and the aura began to turn back to the sickening, sulfurous yellow. His voice lowered to a hushed, shaky whisper, managing to ground himself enough to speak.

"...helping a rape survivor."

Even though the horrific act never occurred to him personally, the disgust, anger, horror, terror, and panic that he felt years ago never stopped feeling fresh. He never got used to it. How could he? How could anyone?

When watching someone go through old memories, like they were reliving the most horrible moments of their past, it was always hard and heartbreaking. But Amelia saw more… She saw the fluctuating aura, the vibrant secret flaring up and shifting between colors. In a way, she hoped talking to him about this wouldn’t hurt him more, but keeping it all in was always the worst option…

“May I?” Amelia scooted toward Vanyel, holding out her arms as if offering a hug. When he accepted, Amelia wrapped her arms firmly around him, guided his head toward her shoulder, and ran her hand over his hair. “You’re okay… Something tells me that in all your time helping your friend, you never got to acknowledge that you, even if to a lesser degree, were also a victim of what happened.”

Ever so slowly, Vanyel lifted his arms. Before he could open his mouth or move, Amelia had her arms around him in a hug, and his eyes widened. He eased his arms around her, slowly letting his head come to rest against her shoulder, and, in that moment, he relaxed a little bit. His body still briefly jolted and quivered with sharp breaths, yet, beyond that, he remained silent as tears welled up in his eyes.

"...No. It...wasn't about me."

Maybe that was true of what happened to Calypso. For Violet...he had just happened to be staying there when everything ended up happening. Everything he did in that moment was entirely based on instinct and prior experience, as well as the desire not to let someone else fall into that hell he'd witnessed too many times. Was any of that even true? He didn't know.