Big Cats[Amaranta, Saber]

This isn't me.

A sensation that slowly prowled through every vein in her body.

To call it a thought would be far too generous. It was a FEELING. A Dissonance. A way that everything had little imperfect cracks that slithered through her thoughts and her body. A feeling so twisting and jarring that she could not even muster a cognizant thought t o combat it. And so she did the next best thing. She ATE. As much as she preferred to hunt in the world of the living, her instincts drew her here. And to a brutal ritual. The trees were in tatters. Some of them ripped completely away from their upper or lower roots. Some split in half, or missing sections. In as bad a shape as the Gillian corpses that littered it. No sooner would she launch herself at one and start tipping into it's body with teeth and crushing water than she would suddenly spot another and pounce without the sense to finish her initial meal. And so they ley strewn about, half-eaten, some of them still writhing and alive as she voraciously consumed.

IT was only when the rest of the herd died or vanished that she slowed down and began chewing through the corpses and the half-dead. The riddle of bloody gashes and burns that tattered her frame already disappearing as her meals served to mend her. Her body recovered, but nothing seemed to FIX her.

And when that voice sounded out. Her neck crackled as her head spunt around to look directly at the perpetrator. That big, saberfanged maw still dripping blood as her eyes locked onto the Arrancar. If she hadn't just chowed down on a small herd, she would have doubtlessly charged the little morsel, but as it were, she was lucid. At least in the here and the now. But it was hard to tell from her perspective.

Certainly 'cat' was a relative term. Sure she had those somewhat feline features. But those horns on her head were still growing more pronounced, muddying that identity. As if something else were taking over.

"What are you?" That voice came out in a growl, distorted as if fragmented.

"And how did you become an arrancar?" That questioned burned in her voice, the slow hot glow of the embers in her eyes was enough to show that vehemence behind the Menos's stare. Envy. Disgust at herself. That she was so far from what this thing had accomplished. And in that split second, the water wrapped around Saber suddenly LUNGED. As if a shadow of herself made from warping liquid promptly swung, that shell of water in the shape of her wing cleaving through the tree that Amaranta had been standing on, and aiming to send the arrancar clean through the tree and the trunk behind it with sudden and vicious aggression.

But she did not follow up, a slow, rumbling growl spilling out from her throat as she hunched over the corpses of Gillians. Her big, slender claws slowly reaching up to drag over her mask, digging into the material before her eyes slitted and then fixed on Amaranta again. "You're here to pick a fight. You don't smell like you're just here to make idle conversation. You smell like you're on a hunt. I won't be easy prey." She snarled. Certainly so much more on edge. She always seemed to be on edge in hueco mundo. Had that always been the case? She didn't remember, but that didn't matter. She was clearly puffing herself up, as if daring Amaranta to push this into a proper fight.

Here in the forest, the trees all screamed the same song of isolation and hunger. Around so many other starving beasts, she felt like her mind got foggier and more feral. She would have to head back to earth... clear her head. But not before she ate. And not before she made sure this little THING wasn't going to try anything.

Sonido. Those eyes shined as she watched the Arrancar evade her strike. Narrowing her eyes and letting a low rumble course through her frame. Irritations crackling along her body. This woman acting as if it were such an easy task. Was she mocking her? Slowly her clawed hands curled, cracking her knuckles as she wished it would be so easy. "You suggest I simply rip my mask off. I feel as if that is sufficient enough to leading me to an early death." She snarled vehemently.

That said, she was intrigued that the woman wasn't striking back. The admission that they were here to hunt certainly giving her all the more reason to narrow her eyes. "And how do I know you're not simply goading me? I rip my mask apart, and revert to a mindless husk. And then you get a nice mindless beast for you little hunt." She growled, narrowing her eyes for a moment as she ......fought with herself. As those voices , those fragmented thoughts started to buzz.

Why didn't she just take it off? Could it possibly be as bad as this? If it failed, what would she be losing?
MY SENSE OF SELF!
Do you even have that?

She slowly closed her claws and peeled her lips back to snarl. Thinking back to Klein. thinking back to Kenichi. Remembering those cautious, worried eyes. And she slowly hunched her shoulders. Reaching up and dragging her claws slowly over her face. "But, let us say that you AREN'T trying to trick me. Why do you have such interest in my intelligence? I can't imagine talking to me is much more entertaining than putting your fist through some common rabble." She growled, that low rumble echoing through the area as she surveyed the arrancar.

This woman might make a good mate for Kenichi.

The thought crossed her mind casually enough. But the way she spoke, it wasn't the same. She was certainly so much more....crass. But there was a certain boldness about her that reminded her of the young man, and that was .... some sort of comfort. Something about that familiar demeanor calmed her ever so slightly, that that slight snarl to her features slowly settled into something more contemplative.

What was she doing?

She turned and looked at all of the corpses around her. and thought about what was driving her so. Did she want more? Was evolution what she was seeking? She had been the type to eat yes but .... this fervent, desperate hunger. It was good. Tearing into them without restraint was something that felt deeply gratifying that made all of those years slinking about the cities feel so pointless. And that was what was so terrifying. She wasn't her. She Wasn't RIGHT. Such thoughts would have NEVER occurred ot her before....right? The memories all swamp together, and she narrowed her eyes as she struggled internally. What was she becomming?

If she continued on like this. what was going to happen?

Would she disappear into this forest?
Never see the world of the living again?

Her mind wandered back. And for just a moment. She found herself remembering. The FIRST thing that had ever crossed that addled mind of hers.

Coming to in a field of corpses. With a broken blade at her feet. A field that felt so eerily similar to this one. That loss of control had been terrifying. But more than that. it had been absurdly lonely. Isolated. Was that why she had done what she did? Had she, on some level, started collecting 'pawns' so that she wouldn't feel so alone? Was that why she had gone out of her way to slaughter and kill those mindless beasts, because being by their sides, felt just as lonely? Couldn't she have just....killed them all? would that not have been smarter? Safer?

With all of the smolder and the anger gone from those eyes. Saber would simply look... lost. In a sea of thoughts that weren't hers. But were hers. They were somebody's. And it hurt. Like being encased in glass. With the smallest, slightest, thinnest little cracks. It wasn't broken, but somehow that was so much worse. Every tiny movement brished her against sharp slim edges, littering her mind with tiny papercuts that frayed her train of thought. She looked to Amaranta and took a moment to consider.

Could it truly be so simple?

"You......Come here." She murmured softly, as she slowly knelt down. She was still enormous. But well, that couldn't be helped. "If you're so damn interested. then listen to what I'm about to say."' She growled, narrowing her eyes. "I don't know if this is going to work. But ..... at this point. I don't have much to lose. But.... if things don't go correctly. There is an Arrancar on earth. A little white-haired fellow. He sounds like an idiot, but he's smarter than he looks. Sound familiar?" After all, the little fellow had stated he was looking for underlings for that boss of his. But he had also seemed rather keen on making friends away from them. IT was entirely possible that he and this woman had crossed paths. No.... she was sure of it. If he had gone out of his way to even pry at HER. Then she had no doubt that it was fairly likely that this woman had run into them. She could smell the world of the living on this one. Actually....she almost swore she could smell the little Gremlin on them. But perhaps that was just the blood of menos messing with her sense of smell.

She narrowed her eyes, smirking a bit behind her mask at the affirmative. She had suspicions that that young man was the kind to know a lot of people. One certainly didn't go running into Gillian and striking up conversations if they werne't the sociable type. His insistence that they could be friends had been enough for her to take pause and consider. Though as it were, she didn't have enough of a sample size to know the true scope of his interests. But that didn't matter. He seemed....like he knew a thing or two. The manner in whic he had referenced the process belied some above average understanding.

It was a shot in the dark. And hopefully one she wouldn't need.

She rose up to her full height, that massive black cloak shifting around her shoulders as she took a moment and stared up toward the ceiling. She'd chosen an area not too deep into the forest. And so rather than just a dark canopy, There was a view a view of Hueco Mundo's sky through the break, and above all of that was the moon itself. Hanging pale like paper in the sky. And a light to cast over her distorted form.

She had tried to keep her sense of self. But the evidence was riddled all over her. Shift and permutations of her feline form. Most notable of course were those big twisting horns on her head. She had insisted she was better than Lime Wire. She had been sure that she could keep herself intact. Sane. And she didn't know if she had succeeded in that endeavor. Was Lime one of those voices inside of her? Laughing at her hubris? Clawing at the edges of her mind like so many others vying for control?

Or were they even separate anymore?

She reached up, those massive claws curling along the surface of her mask, as her eyes slowly came to a shut. She could feel it. The hunger threatening to roil up inside of her. As if in response to what she was about to do, suddenly she felt as if she were starved. As if she needed something... ANYTHING to fill this growing void inside of her. And were she a woman of lesser will. she may very well have simply rounded on amaranta, and attempted to take a chunk out of her.

KRK.

The first crack slithered across her vision, a thin sliver of moonlight showing through the mask as she felt ... a SHARP sensation through herself. Her being. Her entirety. And she felt the urge to shriek out and tear her hand away. To let her spirit energy twist and repair the affront she'd created. The screaming in her head reaching a crescendo. But she ignored it, applying more and more pressure to that pale prison. Off. Offf. OFF!

She could FEEL it. That suggen gush of her own reiryoku, as the noise in her head threatenedd to drown out any rational thought. Getting louder, and louder. And LOUDER.

And then, there was a sound like a shell being peeled from a had boiled egg. And then there was a sudden explosion of Reiryoku. Cracks shot across her face, and down the entire length of her body. The entirety of her Carapace broke, fractuging her frame in that split second. And for one moment, it felt as if her self. Her everything. Was just going to fly apart. As if she were going to explode into many pieces.

And then she felt the cool air on her face.

The soft pitter patter of chunkc of carapace landing around her as the air rushed around her body. IT wasn't until she slammed into the ground that she suddenly had any sense of self. Just as a massive chunk of pale material SLAMMED into the ground beside her before beginning to crumble.

From the outside? It woudl have been quite the spectacle. HEr body suddenly breaking apart, and from that broken mask, where her head once had been. A form fell through her own cracking body. A shell left behind as that humanoid body crashed into the ground below. While that statue of carapace slowly broke down, turning into thin slivers of white, floating through the air in pale flakes like snow, while the woman that was left behind lay in the ashes.

As those flakes of ash slowly began to congeal. Collecting toward the naked woman left in ruins. Until at long last, they slithered together, collecting at her hand to take shape.

A sword and a sheath.
And those eyes finally opened.


And at long last.

The voices were quiet.