Growin' Up [Alex, Inanna]

What a telling response. Sighing to himself, Alex amped up the pets on her ears a bit, wanting to help her relax. He didn't want her getting too caught up in her thoughts, after all, and this was probably an important conversation to have.

"Nah, nothin' dumb about talkin' about your feelings. C'mon, I won't judge. I'll even tell ya somethin' dumb about me first, if it'd make ya feel better."

He had a lot of those things laying around, after all, so he couldn't say that was too difficult an offer for him to actually make good on.

Her nervous laughter about how uncomfortable the situation was turned into her eyes getting watery at the thought she hated the most about considering what her mum was getting at with her and Alex being like her parents. What if they didn't like romance, what if it ruined their relationship and she didn't want to be her best best friend anymore?

"I'm scared of losing Alex."

She started sobbing when she finished the thought and cried into her palms. Alex was like her first best friend ever, she didn't really have a lot of friends before she ran away from home but the redhead became her friend and she let her live with her and they went to school together and then she started having fun at school. She kept her warm and made her feel safe when she was scared.

What if she didn't want to be her friend anymore because the romance was bad? Inanna didn't want that at all. She didn't want to be alone like she was in those nightmares.

Ah, shit. Alex hadn't quite expected it to be this bad, and now he almost felt bad for pulling this out of her. But then again, he knew that it was better for her to let all this out than just keeping it inside. God knew he was pretty shit about doing that, too. Giving her a protective, comforting hug, he simply let her cry, not wanting to try and talk over her until she'd settled down at least a bit. He just pet her ears, kept her warm, and let her cry until she was all done.

"I am too, sometimes. But she's not goin' anywhere, I promise. She moved halfway around the world just to spend time with you, ya know? I don't think you've gotta worry about losing her, no matter what. You're her best friend. Oughta hear how much she talks about you."

Alex just continued to comfort her, not entirely sure what else he could say. He definitely wasn't as good with words as Nel was, but he wanted to give Inanna his best here.

She sobbed for a bit, it was like her biggest fear to lose Alex you know. The idea that it could get all messed up and they stopped being friends because of it was terrifying for her. So she cried until she started sniffling and calmed down a bit to hear the bigger Alex's words.

"That's the thing though. We are best best friends but what if we become uhm... closer... and it messes it all up or somethin'. I kinda like where we are now."

Inanna muttered while poking her fingers together shyly. Was she a dumb kid for thinking all that stuff her mum told her sounded gross? DId Alex even know about all that stuff? She probably didn't, Inanna imagined that Alex would have told her if she did know about it or somethin' like that but would she tell Alex? Maybe she wouldn't since it was so awkward when her mum told her that she probably couldn't say it straight either.

"Well, if that's how ya feel, there's nothin' wrong with telling her that. But being closer doesn't mean she can't still be your best friend. Don't tell Nel I said this, but she's probably my best friend. Or at least one of 'em."

Of course, Alex had other people who could likely be called something similar, but they all had other terms attached to them in his head that made it more difficult. Really, he didn't think he had any one "best friend," but he wasn't going to say that.

"If ya don't like the thought of being more than friends, obviously there's nothin' wrong with that at all. I'd never say you've gotta. But is it just because you're scared?"

They could still be best friends even if they were more than best friends? She kept her eyes at her fingers as they fidgeted, it was a coping mechanism to help her think. Her ears sank a bit when she had to think about why, why was she worried about her closeness with Alex maybe ruining it if they became even closer. Well she was nervous about all the other stuff that went hand-in-hand with her mum had told her that people that liked each other like that did.

That was some of it at least but there had to be more to it than baseless fears but it did. Maybe it was a bunch of different fears all building into a bigger fear that made her so worried about it, the fear that she'd do something wrong and upset her, a fear that she'd lose her, a fear that she'd be dependent on her and more things.

"Yeah... I don't wanna upset her or lose her or disappoint her. I wanna be around her and see her, no make her, smile like I do now. I want everyone to be happy but I want her to be happy most of all because I was really sad and lonely as a kid. I hated school and always got into trouble to try and make mum notice me instead of work, I was sad that my dad never showed up, not even for my birthdays and so I ran away because I couldn't take it anymore."

She rambled a little bit, becoming a bit more like herself where she'd say what came to mind without even thinking about it or caring if someone necessarily listened. Inanna just liked to speak her mind since she had that power in her voice to be able to and so she would for herself.

"But then I met Alex and it was different. I wasn't smiling because I felt I had to be or doing it for other people, I was smiling because I was really happy being around her. I'm glad I ran away and I'd do it over and over again if I had to make that choice again. I'm just scared of losing her because I'm scared I'll stop smiling and go back to being the sad, lonely Inanna."

Ah, man. That was really precious. Even at his most fatherly and overly protective, Alex really didn't have it in him to think even a single poor thought toward all of that. He just looked out to the ocean, thinking about what she'd said for a while, and how he really ought to reply to it.

"Sounds a lot like how I feel about Nel, ya know."

That much really summed it all up, he was pretty sure. Sure, he thought about it pretty often, and he'd told Nel before, but he felt like it might be worth telling to Nanna right now. Sounded like she might need to hear it.

"I used to just go around looking for somethin' to make me happy, and I filled my time with a lotta nonsense lookin' for it. Nel gave me somethin' to live for. And I'd be more upset than anything if Nel was gone one day, but I know she won't be, because I know she feels the same way about me."

That was the real point he wanted to make here, and he turned his eyes once more to Inanna now to really emphasize it.

"Alex'd never want to see you sad or lonely, no matter what. I don't think she's that kinda girl. But I think she'd be happy if you told her all that."

She mulled over his words a bit, how he felt about Nel huh. She rubbed her eyes a little bit, wiping the redness and tears away after crying her fears out at him. She really liked him and wished that Alex could stay here, he was real easy to talk to and always made her feel better when she was upset and not wanting to burden her other people around her with her feelings. He was super tough like that. She wanted to be that tough when she was older.

"Thanks... Tough Guy."

She hesitated as she tried to figure out what she was going to call him then. She didn't want it to be weird you know? So she made up a quick nickname on the spot to give him instead. Inanna turned around to reposition and try and awkwardly wriggle around to face him properly rather than look out at the ocean.

She couldn't wrap her arms around him and squeeze him in a tight hug if she didn't turn around after all but it was still a little harder now that she was bigger, plus she was trying to hide the fact that she was blushing.

"I'll tell her all that, 'kay. I shouldn't wake her up right now to tell her though, right? Unless you think I should?"

Alex thought that was a real cute nickname, and he returned the hug she gave him quite warmly. She really was a sweetheart, and he was quite willing to let her stay here as long as she wanted.

"Nah, you're right. Honestly, you know how heavy a sleeper she is. She probably wouldn't wake up even if we both tried to get her up."

He grinned a little bit at that thought, lightening the mood a bit. His little girl really didn't wake up for anything, but he couldn't say it was surprising. After all, Alex himself wasn't exactly known for being much of a morning person either.

"How's about we have a little midnight snack or something? If you don't wanna wake your mom up cooking, you can get dressed and we can go grab something to eat. I bet there's places open this late."

"Hehe, you're right. I used to have to wake her up for school back in Vastime and that was super hard."

When he brought up getting dressed she looked down and noticed that sand was in fact on her current set of clothes. Crud, Inanna just kept grinning though as she sheepishly looked away and giggled.

"These are mum's clothes though. She said she'd come with me to get me new ones that fit tomorrow. I bet you... another hug that I can sneak into her room and get a clean set without waking her though."

She sounded super confident in saying that but the validity was up for debate as to whether she actually was that sneaky or not. The danava wasn't even that hungry for the most part but the idea of getting him all to herself for a late night snack was exciting.