A New Purpose? [CalaxKizuna]

Cala pouted at Kizuna before they had the time to really think about what they were doing, but once their brain DID catch up they simply looked down, not exactly wanting to upset Kizuna. They thought that Reina would have made a good queen, if a little.... unorthodox most definitely. It wasn't until Kizuna questioned Cala's choice of title that Cala looked up once again. Her approval of the title made things easier, at least as far as referring to her went, and while Cala was certainly still scared of Kizuna the briefest of memories of Reina having several Gillain protect them was dredged up when Kizuna mentioned they would be focusing exclusively on how Cala was doing. Granted Kizuna was hardly sounding protective, and her interest might have been a lot more of a passing fancy than Reina's had, but the familiarity was far more important to Cala at the moment. Anything to draw them further from the malaise and loneliness that had been plaguing them for..... some time.

Of course Cala also did not miss Kizuna stating that she WOULD be thinking of something for Cala to do for her in time, which Cala understood on an instinctual level, and made no comment on as Kizuna hopped back onto her pillar. Cala didn't exactly know what a surf-board was, but it certainly gave Kizuna a platform to observe from. As Kizuna looked out over Hueco-Mundo Cala did as well, expecting to be sent to hunt, or to kill, but the last thing they expected was to... run? Cala almost blinked in surprise, their surprise actually making them pause for a moment and look at Kizuna with wide, almost doe-like eyes like a deer in the headlights, before they nodded and murmured.

"Y-Yes Kizuna-senpai."

With that said Cala began to run, not quite at a full sprint for their Sealed Form, but fast enough to give Kizuna the sweat she wanted in no time. Granted it would be hard to notice with Cala's rather baggy kimono covering most of them but still Cala put in effort, at least just shy of their Sealed Form's absolute limit. No doubt rather slow and clumsy by Kizuna's own standards but no one would be able to say that Cala wasn't trying hard for their own level of proficiency. Cala also kept their senses open towards Kizuna, not only to hear or react to any additional prompts, but also because they didn't quite put it past her to try and make their training more... interesting.

As Cala continued to run they began to settle into a shallower version of the dull, focused feeling they felt during the exertion of combat. The focus and thrumming of their being working in concert allowed them to stop thinking, for the most part, and focus more intently on Kizuna's words. Cala made no immediate response to Kizuna's probing questions about his intentions. Not out of any sort of stubbornness or rebellion against his new Senpai, far from it. Rather Cala gave no answer for the simple reason that, truly, Kizuna's guess as to Cala's motivations were like as good as Cala's own.

Pausing their running for a moment , panting quietly as they prepared themselves, Cala would begin to use their Sonido to enhance their movements. It was, frankly, amateurish by comparison to someone like Kizuna, but they kept it up until Kizuna questioned them further. Only stopping to give labored breathes as they began to truly consider what Kizuna was questioning them over.

Lowering their eyes to the sands of Hueco Mundo Cala's eyes would squint in thought, both their minds and selves turning the concept over and over in their head, examining it from every angle. But the more Cala thought about it, the more they disliked the idea of being a ruler. Turning to look at Kizuna Cala would look up at their Senpai, lavender eyes uncertain but also earnest as they spoke.

"Umm.... Kizuna-senpai I dont think... I-I dont think I want to rule anything. I'm fine with listening to others, I'm fine with devouring others, and fighting but.... but being a ruler doesnt sound... right...."

In fact as Cala spoke, their thoughts on the subject clearing more and more, they began to feel a cold, churning in their stomach the likes of which they had never really felt ever before. A potent mixture of revulsion and fear that made them take a step away from Kizuna before they even realized it. Only after their feet had made the motion did Cala even realize they had moved and, swallowing thickly, Cala would continue.

"Kizuna-Senpai I think.... I think that being a ruler.... is like a cage. It doesn't... it doesn't feel like a goal. Even now I don't have to listen to you, even if you can kill me, but to be a ruler feels like.... like it would make me even more helpless. Even if I choose to listen or-or train or submit I can at least choose but being a ruler....."

Cala shook their head, meeting Kizuna's gaze with timidity and certainty in their lavender eyes.

"..... I wouldn't be able to be free. To see all the realms have to offer and.... all they have to lose. I want to be able to choose and... and never be helpless again. Even if it means I die......"

Cala thought over their own professed drive even as Kizuna did. It was wholly true, of course, Cala would not lie to Kizuna without a great reason. But there was an aspect of what they had told Kizuna that went unsaid. The freedom was a goal in and of itself, true, but it was also a means to an end. That end remained deeply buried in Cala's psyche even as Cala grimaced softly at Kizuna's response.

Kizuna's proposed plan did resonate with Cala some but as Cala's soft features and lavender eyes looked up at Kizuna, silent for a long moment, Cala thought on the kind if person their Senpai was. She had said she wanted them to get stronger, for them to pursue a goal and grow into something. It only made sense to Cala that this was some sort of test and, thus, Cala shook their head at Kizuna's recommended plan. Their voice halting and of course unsure, but they did do their best to meet Kizuna's gaze for a moment, before inevitably looking down from their fierce Senpai's eyes.

"N-.... No Kizuna-senpai. How.... How can I grow stronger myself if I use someone else's plan?"

It was a rhetorical question but one Cala hoped Kizuna would approve of. Cala would tense as they drew in a deep breathe, staring intently near Kizuna's feet as they nodded a single, somewhat firm nod.

"I-I... I will train with you AND see the world. The people in it.... they are what make it.... whole. I'll grow and get stronger off of all the realms lose and... and eventually...."

Starting to shake with fear Cala's right hand reached timidly across their body and gripped their left arm, their whole body quivering as they slowly forced their eyes up Kizuna's body inch by inch until wide, terrified lavender eyes stared into Kizuna's own and Cala stated in a slow, frightened voice.

"..... eventually I-I'll grow until I can m-m-make you lose too S-Senpai and... and show you how much you made me grow!"

The odd mixture of promise and threat was a small, breathy, scared noise and Cala immediately dropped their gaze after making it, before shrugging softly and murmuring.

"M-Maybe someday.... I can help you grow too. You've experienced loss too I-I think....."

Cala said nothing as Kizuna actually seemed to approve of their threat and Cala simply gripped their arm harder to help stop the fearful shaking. At some point during Kizuna's response they had closed their eyes and, now, they opened them to look back up at her. Perhaps, however, it would be more accurate to say that Cala looked NEAR her, as they couldn't bring themselves to look Kizuna in the eye again even with her approval. As Cala swallowed down a terrified lump in their throat it was replaced by a thought, a single thought that burned and leapt across their mind and tongue in tandem, nearly spilling past their lips at Cala stared intently at Kizuna's shoulder.

Cala truly, deeply, wanted to utter that response. What seemed to them like something their Senpai might appreciate even more than what they had already said but.... alas they had used what determination they had already and so, instead, simply nodded meekly and let the embers of retort die on their tongue. Cala's gaze once again falling away as their shaking subsided and they lowered their arm from gripping it's counterpart so very tightly. As the high of Cala's emotions wound down they once more settled into a calm not unlike how they had felt after their exertion, but now it was a low, buzzing focus. A restlessness that was no powerful jolt, no manic energy, merely a solemn desire to continue, to perform the task at hand.

So it was that Cala would turn and look back out over Hueco Mundo and, their eyelids suddenly feeling heavier, closer them for a long moment. A soft, scared whimper leaving their lips as their true form clawed it's way to the surface. Cala... always hated this part. From what they had seen an understood of other Hollows they usually luxuriated in changing their forms to increase their power, finding a sense of release and euphoria from attaining greater heights. But for Cala the experience had always been singularly terrifying, oddly painful even, and as the small Arrancar's kimono darkened, as if stained by ink spilling into it's fabric from the inside, Cala's head lurched back. Their lavender eyes were wide open, spread beyond the limits of comfort, the ringed pupils shaking in their irises intensely, before a flood of odd, shadowy ash would pour out of Cala's eyes like a heavy torrent of sobbing tears. Greying Cala's skin and further darkening the fabric of their clothing that, now, had altered, twisted and torn itself into a new shape. Like a ragged traveler's garb that had seen far too much use.

Following this the small skull hairpin began to crack and shift, growing and expanding like an infection over Cala's head and eyes, that same shadowy ash halting it's flow and running as the skull fragment slid into place. The two large eyeholes beginning to pool and fill with this ash before it hardened into a sheer, dimly glinting surface flush with the eye sockets. Cala's hair would grow to a wild, untamed mass down to their shoulders and they would stagger on their feet for a moment. Hands clutching at their masked head in pain and anguish, nothing visible to them but darkness, the last bit of light flickering from within the skull mask from Cala's once vibrant eyes sputtering into a physical form that draped into gently glistening silvery threads that now sat like a tangled web in the pronounced, curving horns over the top of Cala's skull. Only once Cala's arms dropped to their sides limply for a moment would they, in the next, exhale a heavy, labored breathe before flexing their hands. Claw-like nails flexing from Cala's fingertips as they adjusted their footing and murmured in a quiet, neutral tone.

"I am.... prepared to continue."

This change, of course, came with an appreciable jump in Cala's spiritual energy. While they were still far, far from anything impressive they had skyrocketed from the spiritual output of a below-average human to nearly enough power to devastate small structures. A tiny, infantile step in the grand scheme of things, but it was the first step in the journey of a thousand miles.

Cala slowly shook their head at Kizuna's likely rhetorical question, their unseeing gaze still transfixed on the horizon as they murmured a quiet, almost hissing response.

"No, my Senpai."

As Kizuna urged them to further train their Sonido Cala would nod a very slow, almost sluggish motion, their Pesquisa radiating out over the sands of Hueco Mundo in every direction. Their form crouching just a bit at her direction and when Kizuna fired their singular Bala Cala's form bristled with prepared energy, only for Cala to make use of Kizuna's direction and encouragement in more ways than one. Spiraling out from beneath Cala's clothes a double-helix of black ash would curl and arc through the air like a sentient tail, catching Kizuna's bala and enclosing it as Cala began to Sonido their way across the sands. Now moving appreciably faster than before and, as the small bala was slowly smothered and drained of it's Reiatsu, they were able to keep up their top performance for a smidge longer than they would normally be able to.

This time, however, they were not holding back, and Cala's expression hardened in concentration as they pushed themselves more and more, even once Kizuna's bala had been smothered out of existence and they began to rely solely on their own energy. Cala was, for now, still a beginner at the art of Sonido so their usage of energy was somewhat passable in maintaining their pace. Only once Cala reached what had been the horizon from where they and Kizuna had been standing did they pause, their breathing now more labored and heavy, their hands flexing and curling with strain as they knelt for a moment. Dropping to one knee and exhaling a slow, steady breathe, already beginning to focus and meditate to regain their reserves of spiritual energy to begin the process over again, to which they did ask Kizuna.

"Senpai? Do you wish me to continue? There is still much I could do to improve."