A Noble Spirit [Ninsianna, Helle]

Ninsianna would have rather liked to see Helle much sooner than this, but she knew that it would hardly be beneficial to her to only further crowd the woman when she was still recovering. Even beyond that, she did not exactly feel as though she should simply leave her daughter at home alone to visit someone else, absurd as that notion seemed to her. Inanna was hardly a little child anymore, but motherly instinct was rather strong, she supposed.

Either way, she entered into the Sternritter Director's home with a faint smile, already fully aware of Helle's state from having seen the reports and spoken to others. She was not the sort to gawk, or even to ask about the situation. She understood that, if Helle wished to speak on it, she would do so.

"Good afternoon, Helle. I'm quite sorry I've taken so long to come by, work has been quite busy and my daughter has been in the city."

It would be far better to avoid treating this as a heavy affair.

It has been some time since the last visitor. It seems every one of the Vandenreich have become used to her new state and understand that only time can help her. Rafaela has proven ample help, however. And, for that, Helle appreciates the other blonde. And, Helle has come to find the woman's chivalry rather endearing. It definitely reminds her of her youth. Ah, youth? She's found even herself forgetting that she is but a young woman herself. Though, it has proven somewhat lonely with only her keeper as company. It is a bit funny that Helle now mourns for company after it has come and gone. That is only fair, considering her growing warmth towards the people of this city once more. Finally, her health seems to be returning. Without her own mind weighing her down, it seems her body is responding in kind. Today, she has no need for any blinds, green orbs staring at nothing in particular as she lied in bed.

The sudden entrance into her room pulled her attention however, Helle turning her head with a bit more excitement than she had ever before. And, once she saw her visitor, her face seemed to grow only brighter. Why, lost in her own mind, Helle had forgotten the face of one who had helped her before. Yes, the sting of that time still bears down on her, piercing her heart, but if not for the harsh reality made clear before her, where would she be now? Healthier maybe? Or, maybe, this was just an eventuality that she should have been prepared for. It was not Ninsianna that brought Helle low. It was Helle who had brought herself down when others were only trying to save her from the eventual pain. Things may have just turned out worse without this furry eared woman.

"Hello, Miss Kishar. Daughter? I did not know you had one."

"Please, do not feel the need to be so formal. You and I are friends, are we not? Simply Ninsianna is quite preferred, I would think."

Of course, Ninsianna knew that, in many ways, this situation made her something of a subpar friend, didn't it? Logically speaking, she understood that this had still been very much the correct course of action, and that it would only have gone far worse had she not stepped in. She certainly did not regret her actions, but seeing the aftermath of them did give her pause.

"I do, yes, though I tend not to discuss her when in a professional setting. That has been the whole of my life since I came to the Vandenreich, so there has been rather little opportunity to talk on my personal life."

She quite enjoyed speaking about Inanna, of course, and Ninsianna rifled through her bag for a moment to pull out a picture of the two of them together. She did not wish to monopolize the conversation, but at the same time, she felt this sort of genuine, peaceful talk was exactly what would be best for Helle.

"Formality makes conversation easy when one has little to talk about."

Though, her words proved a lie, Helle did not find it an easy task to simply open up about her condition. Out of all that have come to her side, Ninsianna is the one who knows, outside of those directly involved, about Helle's situation. Of course, the state she is in now is still a mystery, but the reasons that led to it should not prove that hard to piece together. However, wishing for their talk to stay pleasant for now, Helle reached for the image shown to her and examined the contents of it. Now, if this were the past, Helle would have found it remarkable that someone like Ninsianna could have a girl that resembles the one in the picture. The former secretary never seemed the type for a family, but Helle has been wrong about things in the past, and, looking at the woman now, Helle can only conclude that there is much about Ninsianna she knows little about.

"She seems a lovely lady, Ninsianna. I would like to meet her. I did not know you had a family though. Surprising, indeed."

Thinking of the woman with another, a couple with a daughter. Emerald eyes, curious, searched for a hint of a ring on Ninsianna's finger. It's only natural to ponder if there's another special someone in the woman's life.

"She is certainly an energetic young woman. I would never pretend that Inanna and I are especially similar, but she still means the world to me.

Of course, Ninsianna was not nearly so blind as to fail to notice Helle glancing toward her hand, and she knew that such a thing was not entirely unwarranted. After all, to have a child did involve more than one party, but Inanna's father was hardly much of a figure in either of their lives. In a way, that was something Ninsianna had come to regret.

"Apart from Inanna, I have no family. I loved once, many years ago, but she has been gone from my life for a long while now."

There was a faint pain in Ninsianna's voice as she said that, but only faint. How else could one speak on a matter such as this, after all? And how painful it was, still seeing that very face day in and day out.

"O-Oh..."

Um... What should be her response to that? Helle doesn't know what would be appropriate for this situation. She barely could handle her own relationship issues, and to make matters worse, she was all too curious about the one that Ninsianna had loved. Though, had does not seem the correct verb tense. It looks like the woman is still in love. The fact that it's a woman only makes Helle all the more curious. Why is there a child if it was a love shared between the same sex? Does that mean that Ninsianna had found someone afterwards, but that just leaves the question of what happened to that individual?

Questions ridiculed Helle, the choice of asking and not asking leaving her unable to even speak. The blonde made her inner turmoil all too evident as her mood physically fell, her eyes falling to her hands that held one another over her lap. It is safe to presume an awkward silence would fall over the room, considering that both women seem to share something in common. Why is the heart such a fickle thing?

Ninsianna could tell that Helle felt rather awkward about having asking that question, but she took that in stride, even reaching out to put a reassuring hand on hers. She offered a small, supportive smile, not especially worried about speaking on these matters.

"She and I will see one another again one day, of that I am certain. But I know that she would not be pleased if I were to simply pine after her memory. I live my life to the best of my ability."

She had, admittedly, only come to that full realization rather recently, but it was something she still felt quite important to note. After all, wasn't that something important for both of them?

"I ponder the extent one could live with such weights on their shoulders. I do ponder my ability to press forward every now and then, knowing I must see my past for the remainder I am on this Earth; how one could move on with their lives so seamlessly while I sit questioning what is left for me."

Her worries were not easily abated by the simple gesture of reassurance given to her. Even as her eyes followed Ninsianna's hands that now lay atop her own, Helle's mind pondered Ninsianna's current situation in life. Helle never was concerned much with the history that trailed the ones she deemed friends, but that is another sin of hers that must be remedied.

"If you do not mind, may I know of the woman who had once stolen your heart?"

Curiosity, left unsated, leads to a world of questions and thoughts that will do one no good and only breed superstitions. Ninsianna seemed okay with the very notion of moving on from one's past, but it is clear that moving on does not mean forgetting. Helle must know why this woman was so impactful for her friend. Is Cyrus the same for her? Is he not? Will she ever have someone that could wrought such an expression from her that does not leave one riddled with sadness but fills one with a sense that the past was a beautiful thing?

"The past can often be a cruel thing, if we let it weigh upon us too heavily. It is important that we respect it and cherish it, without becoming embittered or despondent."

The last person to whom Ninsianna had spoken about her dear goddess had been Inanna, and she would be lying if she said that had not been a far easier person with whom to speak on this particular topic. After all, Ninsianna knew well that her beloved's image had become intertwined in Helle's own grief. But that was not crucial to this story, she supposed. Frankly, it was hardly even relevant.

"I knew her when I was a much younger woman. Thousands of years ago, in fact. I was but a humble priestess in those days, in a temple to gods that I myself knew were not truly divine. But it was a matter of social order, of giving back to the people. That had always been my greatest ambition in life, after all. The day came that one of those supposed gods came to the temple, and she and I spoke at length. Spoke on our ideals, on the people. It was an enlightening conversation."

One that, in many ways, Ninsianna knew had forever changed her life. After all, what sort of life might she have lived if she had not met Enkika that day? She certainly would never have known ambition like she now had.

"She understood me as no others had. Our ideals, our visions of the world and of all things, were in a sort of harmony. We did not see eye to eye on all things, but that would be to ask for the impossible. I spent only one night with my dear Enkika, but that was all that either of us might ever have needed. I miss her deeply, but I do not dare to grieve for too long. I promised her that I would always press on for the sake of those very ideals I shared with her. If I were to simply idle about, become unable to push forward, then I would be a failure for both her and for myself."

She knew, of course, that it would seem almost unreasonable to most that such a bond might ever be forged in only a single night. Ninsianna did not think it was something that most could understand, nor did she begrudge anyone for feeling that way. It was simply impossible to convey with mere words, and even if she could have shared the experience, such a thought was one she dared not consider for even a moment.

Helle listened. Uninterested in interrupting to impose questions, she kept her thoughts to herself, formulating ideas of this supposed Goddess. A relationship that spans an eon built on only one night of interaction. In her current situation, Helle could not help but relate such a notion to a true fairy tale come true. However, seeing that Ninsianna sits before her without the one she had fell for so long ago, it seems fairy tales are still somewhat fanatical to believe in. It causes Helle to wonder about the nature of the heart: its strength, weaknesses, toughness, and frailty. Even if she hates the thought, Helle could not help but relate this to her current situation. She can imagine sharing naivety with Ninsianna as they both fell for an individual during their first interaction, but it would be folly to dare compare their growth to one another. Ninsianna has become something Helle finds hard to truly describe accurately without doing the woman injustice while she, herself, has become a miserable wench entrapped by her own misdemeanors.

"I have another request, if I may."

Helle found herself desiring something after listening to Ninsianna. It is not something entirely out of the way she hopes, but there was a detail about that story that has her longing for a particular thing. It is something she has never truly had the chance to grasp, even with Cyrus.

"I wish to get to know you, Ninsianna. I have lived my life always expecting, always waiting for people to want to know me. Yet now that I lie here with nothing, but everyone worried about my health, it has become blatant to me that I rarely know those who I call my friends. This is the first time out of our many meetings that I have even concerned myself with more than just your secretarial capabilities, and, for that, I would like to apologize."

Did she ask for too much? Of course, Helle has many people who consider themselves her friend, but Ninsianna is one that Helle has known the most, and Ninsianna proves the one that Helle knows the least about. It may be rude to want an understanding of the woman after listening to a tale about the only person Ninsianna has ever felt truly understood her. There are also other reasons for why Helle has asked this much, but those are somewhat embarrassing to express. Just this much has the blonde woman seeming somewhat distressed. It's not easy trying to change your outlook over things on the fly.