Living With Determination [Hvit/Henrex] [Tokyo/Shibuya]

Henrex let out a quiet exhale as he stepped through a Senkaimon, returning home for the afternoon. The warm, welcoming orange of the sun beamed down on the calm streets of Shibuya, with Henrex humming to himself as he walked along the street. He still had some time before the sun went down, so, perhaps he could look through a few stores and arcades, see if there was anything interesting to pick up while he was in town.

The weeks had become a bit of a blur as of late. Go in, teach classes, come home, and do it all over again. It was hard for him to even properly remember what he had done in-between, if anything. Outside of spending time with some of his close confidants, he hadn't really dedicated a lot of time to himself, had he? Well, perhaps today would be a nice change to that.

Just as he was taking out a small notepad to write down a few things that came to mind to grab from the store, he heard the voice behind him, and he looked over his shoulder to see Hvit behind him. Tucking the notebook away in his pocket, he turned around and slipped his hands into his pockets.

He wasn't really sure what she was getting at -- outside of being a little tired from the long day of teaching, he was in a pretty good mood. It was a beautiful day out, and he was home. So, at the request to eat him, Henrex couldn't help but snicker a bit as he shook his head.

"I'd prefer if you didn't eat me, Hvit. I don't think my students would be too happy about that happening."

He stretched, before pulling out the notepad and scribbling a few things down on it and tucking it away again. As he did, his gaze turned serious as he slid his hands back into his pockets.

"Either way, I don't need to be 'fixed'. I'm just living my life, teaching people. I'm pretty content right now, minus maybe one or two things."

The half-breed's eye twitched in annoyance at the comment of him not knowing his students, only further exacerbated by the follow-up. He was tired of having words being put into his mouth, especially when it was, quite literally, the opposite of everything he felt. He truly did feel content and, dare he say, positive for once.

"I'm not lying to you, so don't bother with threatening me. If I were, by this point, I'd be far better at it than you'd think."

He sighed, his gaze fixed to the ground for a moment as he thought about the two things he felt that were missing. They were things that he felt had been missing in his life for quite some time, but he never felt that he had the ability or opportunity to make those things a part of his life, especially now, with his life somewhat turning toward a better tomorrow.

"If you have to know, those two things are...settling down, and having a family. Really, it feels like that's all that's left for me to do in this life. Find someone who I can trust and love, maybe settle down in the Living World somewhere, and pass on what I know to the next generation. I suppose, I'm sort of doing that now, in a way. Teaching my skills to those who will likely succeed where I failed."

He chuckled softly. It really felt like that was all that remained for him. Besides the continuing role as a guardian of this world, he had done just about everything. Lived a life as a human, died, reborn, worked his way from a fresh face in the Academy to a Captain in the Gotei.

He had met countless people in his many years, been ejected from his position in both Vastime and the Gotei, discovered the mysteries of his Zanpakuto, reached heights of power that some could only dream of, and now, here he was, a teacher in Zanjutsu, paving the way for the new faces that would come into the Gotei.

What could be left, other than to find the one thing that had eluded him?

Despite the growing aggravation, Henrex breathed in deep, exhaling softly as he calmed himself, his tensing hands relaxing. He knew that the fire that burned in him had never died. Perhaps it had faded for a time, but never could that will of his die. Like with Magnolia, the desire to live, to stubbornly continue despite everything was something that encroached his heart, and would continue to do so until he took his final breath.

"I don't believe I've failed in life. There are many things that I regret, but, life cannot be lived without them. Yet, there are some things in life that cannot be taken back, and cannot be reclaimed. I can't just walk back into the Seireitei or to Africa and demand my position and job back after I've essentially been fired. However...I suppose, now, I feel more free than I ever have before. I may be teaching at Shin'o, but, to an extent, being relieved of duty makes me feel like a weight has been lifted from me."

He chuckled softly, a soft smile forming at hearing her suggestions. He had to admit, the idea of trying to court Ci Lan Tsu again wasn't something he would be opposed to. Izanami, however...he had some mixed feelings for.

"I wouldn't mind trying with Ci Lan or Izanami, so long as Ci Lan doesn't throw off her clothes immediately and ask for a kid. Even now, I wouldn't do that, prior loyalties aside. Honestly, I wouldn't mind trying to start over with Calypso, either, though, I'm rather certain that ship has sailed."

Henrex found his eye twitching at her arrogance, that demands were for rulers, and requests were for 'subjects' like him. Even if he wanted to take his position back, there would be no requesting for it. The decision was made, and there was little to no undoing it. A deep bitterness and irritation still poisoned his heart at the thought of his dismissal, something that neither Ulv nor Hvit knew any of the finer details of. So, despite hearing and processing what she was saying, Henrex quietly inhaled, calming himself, before making only one comment on the matter.

"Given that neither you nor Ulv knew anything of the finer details of my dismissal, you have no right to say that. There was no reason to dismiss me. There was no evidence, and I was not even given a chance to defend myself. It had no relation to my 'emotive nature', I was not slovenly or indolent. I did my work, just as any other. It had nothing to do with my work."

Close his eyes and taking another deep breath to calm himself, he let out a quiet, slightly shaky exhale as he opened his eyes. He wasn't surprised to hear it from Hvit that he had blown it with Calypso. It was a bit of a high hope, but, it was just how life went.

"Having a child isn't something I'm opposed to, but, not at the start of a relationship. I understand the desire for more people and the emphasis on the next generation, but, it is something that requires patience. Izanami, however..."

He stopped. A small smile came to his face, and the lightest hints of red tinged his cheeks. Despite the few times he had spent with Matron of the Dead, she had made her presence and personality quite known, and the description that Hvit gave her was apt, to say the least. Merely that idea was enticing, and part of him couldn't help but think of a woman like her as a partner and lover. But, coming back to reality, he cleared his throat and and regained his composure.

"I don't want a relationship I end up investing in to turn into ones that I've had before. I'd...probably need to sit down and talk with Izanami about the finer details of that, but, I just want to be sure that I'm not setting myself up for another letdown. I want to have a relationship, something that I can feel comfortable going as far as settling down with children. My streak of romance has been rather...mirthless, I suppose is one way to put it."

His gaze turned to the ground, a hand slowly reaching to grip at the other.

"I just don't want to be hurt again."