Tis but a scratch

The usual response would've been shock, followed by excitement and mania. If Ulv was coming around, there was sure to be adventure, training, or just a good time in general. That's how Keiko felt about spending time with her mentor. This was not the usual circumstance, however. Instead, Keiko just didn't have the energy to react. Just more staring at the wall, more itching for something to take her mind away from all this, more wishing that it was all an awful dream. To be honest, that would've been better. If the real Keiko was comatose but recovering, and her conscience was locked away in a personal hell. At least that way, at some point, she could wake up and none of this would be real. Her gut, the visceral pain when she wasn't being filled with shinten, made certain that she was fooling herself. For all her wishes and cries, there was no escaping this reality.

Keiko had a good sense of time, so even though she couldn't see it, she could tell it was currently night-time. That was necessary when keeping to her schedule, not that the schedule even mattered anymore. Basically nothing that was a part of her daily routine would be relevant now. The only routine that actually mattered, and that Keiko anticipated, was the next drug dosage.

How is? How is what? How were her legs? How were her eyes? How were her hopes and dreams, her ambitions all cut short by a fucking mistake she made over-estimating herself? It sucked. That's how it was. Not that any of it was Ulv's fault. No, Ulv was very responsible about this sort of thing. She praised and encouraged the girl, but over and over again she warned Keiko of the folly of overconfidence. She warned Keiko that there was a long way ahead of herself before she could call herself strong. People didn't under-estimate her; she just over-estimated herself. She was pretty sure of herself on this.

It didn't say anything, but the looming presence, the stares the skull-face blob gave her in her dreams let her know. It was speechless, but the darkness in its shadowed body was communicating it clearly. You're right, it's all over now. And it's your own fault. That's what Keiko felt it was saying. That's what the blob was saying to her even now; so what was Keiko supposed to say to Ulv?

The whole time, she kept her silence, staring at the across from her bed.

That hurt. That hurt a lot more than her head, or her eyes, or head back. No amount of beatings could bring the sort of pain Ulv's words were stabbing into her heart. Were they even right? Keiko didn't know, but it felt like she was right. No-one else told her these things, they just pitied her. Like usual. Pity the bastard girl, turned crippled and useless. That was the whole point of challenging herself, though--no? Turn that pity to praise. Don't afford anyone the opportunity to ever look down on her again by just being better. She didn't mean to think of herself more than she really was. She ddin't mean to think that... just be that. Be better. Be more. Was that so bad? Was it wrong of her to want that? What else was she supposed to do? What else...

Then... what am I supposed to..."

She could feel the warmth building in her eyes, something was coming out. It was being caught by the bandages over her eyes, but soon enough, an amount came out that leaked onto her cheek.

"What am... what do I do now..."

Keiko's nose crinkled, and her lip was quivering.

"What am I supposed to now, Ulv? Huh? I get it, I learned my lesson, I made a mistake and now I have to live with it. Is that it? Is that it, Ulv?! I just have to sit here and regretting everything for the rest of my life!?!"

No amount of shinten was going to numb this sort of pain. Keiko could take others looking down on her, but not Ulv.

"I'm sorry, okay! I'm sorry I did what I did! I'm never going to stop being sorry, I was wrong, and I won't even get the chance to make the same mistake!"

It wasn't just tears soaking through the bandages and dragging down her face anymore. Keiko moved her head abruptly to face the voice of Ulv, and her yelling irrritated the scabbing in her sockets, reopening the wounds. The tears mixed with blood and ran down her cheeks.

"So now what, Ulv! Tell me, what should I do now!! Please! .... Please... I... I don't know what to do anymore, so please tell me......"

Was that it? Was it that simple? Of course Keiko didn't want to be pitied. Of course she didn't want to be a cripple. So was the solution to just, "ask for help"? Just "do something about it"? She doesn't understand. That's what the skull-faced darkness was telling her. It was probably right. How could she?

Keiko's face stopped wrinkling. The blood was still flowing from her eyes, but the tears stopped, the quiver to her lips replaced by almost a mocking sort of smile.

"Well, Ulv, will you help me? What kind of help can you give me? Can you get me some shinten? That'll really, really help."

Keiko instinctively shirked back and put her arms up in a defense posture. The sudden yelling was surprising, and the anger to the tone was frightening. It didn't sound like it came from a specific direction, more like within herself, but without sight at her disposal Keiko only assumed Ulv was yelling. And for that, Keiko was confused. Could she hear the skull-face?

The feeling of anger practically emanating from Ulv seemed to calm down, but Keiko was still, to her core, scared. A flash back of her fight with Kintori came to mind, and that damn near sent shivers to her soul, the fear showing on her face. In that fear, all she could do is submit.

"O-ok."

To be honest, Keiko didn't know what Ulv was talking about, keywords like acupuncture were heard, and while the last time a needle was put in her things became absolutely awful, it did proceed her wounds being healed. Besides, at the moment, she had no intent, or capacity, to defy the vizard.

Keiko didn't see what was happening, but the gradual changes to the physical sensations in her body made it clear that something was happening. Most of Keiko's pains were sharp or burning, the latter all over her upper body and the former in select locations. Both types of pain seemed to subside, some sensations still there but substantially lessened. To a degree, Keiko was adapting to them, but there absence without having to dull the clarity of her mind through shinten gave her a different sort of relaxing feeling. Admittedly, she still would've preferred shinten over this, if only to muddle her mind into a sustained stupor, but this was... comfortable. It was gentle.

Then, after Ulv said a couple things, Keiko was picked up. Mentally, she immediately braced herself for some pain at the sudden movement, but the treatment from earlier made that not the case.

"Eh? We're going somewhere? Where are we going?"

Completely lost in what was happening, Keiko quickly and tightly hung onto Ulv's neck, frantically turning her head back and forth as if that was going to do anything.