Re: Heedless Words, Thoughtless Beasts [Calypso/Ulv]

Sat Dec 08, 2018 9:38 pm

Calypso Asthavon

"Ohh, I guess that makes sense."
The girl pondered on the euphemism idea, though then again, she had encountered many things like that, hadn't she? Poetry was loaded with that stuff, and sometimes they were so complicated that she didn't understand what it meant unless she looked up what the hell the poem was trying to say. Deciphering the meanings of things she couldn't just sense was tricky to her, but she enjoyed the mystery of it nonetheless... But again, connecting funny farm to asylum was a massive stretch of logic to her. There was no horses choking out bad puns in an asylum... At least not in reality.

Though, onto far more serious matters, she placed her hands within Ulv's, staring down at the now glowing and warm palms as she listened to the brawny woman's explanation of how this would work, in a rather colorful way. She stared quietly at the embracing glow, but then shut her eyes. She did as instructed, trying to think of something she indeed wanted fixed within her, though she was in this state for several minutes, appearing to become more and more unsure. Her grasp on the warming palms tightened, as she tried to summon something she herself wanted to fix within her being.

But her grip loosened, her breath evened, as her eyes opened, a bit of hesitance present, but she spoke, "..I'm sorry but, I can't think of anything I truly wish to fix, at least, not within myself.."
She began, seeming a bit sad to say such, but she had to be honest, "I don't... Feel as if I have any 'great despair' in me. Even if I have no choice in the matter of sensing other's emotions, it isn't something i'm constantly suffering from, it's just a little pain in a little moment, like a lot of things are," She smiled gently, thumbs softly caressing Ulv's palms as she spoke, "My problems are more.. External.. Much of my family's broken and lost to madness, demons are suffering under their reign, tensions are rising in general.."

She gently cringed as she remembered her mother devouring a crowd of protesters, and the only thing she could do was wail and cling to her like a snotty child, but she returned to smiling, "..I get it, you're concerned about me, but... Maybe getting used to how I am won't be so bad? Maybe things.. Might be different. I mean, hey, bright lights and sounds don't bother me much anymore, and I can actually go into a city without bordering into a meltdown if everything's calm. Maybe... If I give it more time and practice, I'll be able to handle all that stuff."

Her grip had tightened and released as she spoke her thoughts, "Sure I need some help, but, I don't think this way," She brought their hands up momentarily, as to clearly gesture what she meant, "Is the way for me... I'm appreciative of your care, even if we just met, don't take it the wrong way.. I think I just need more people like you in my life... More support, more love... I feel really lonely, often, even if I am connected to so many beings..."

Head dipped, she uttered one last, gentle phrase; "Can I just.. Try?"

Coding By Lillian <3

Sun Dec 09, 2018 6:15 am

Heedless Words, Thoughtless Beasts [Calypso/Ulv] - Page 3 6EdIfMt

The Flame Of Hope

Artist: Carrotwine - Song: Dark Side Of The Road

Ulv was ready and prepared to help, before Cali said that she was fine and wasn't suffering from anything at all. That life was hunky dory and she didn't need any help with anything at all. A flash of irritation seized Ulv's actions and she opened her eyes, boring her emotions into Cali's own. While the last beast was merely angry, this one was a twisted, bloodthirsty creature that longed to split skulls and steal screams. The venerable mountain of death that came in her wake was as awe-inspiring as it was terrifying to behold.

"I hate your kind of people. The sort that look at your arm having been ripped off and just shrug it off with an 'Ohh well, it will close up eventually, and maybe I won't even bleed to death before it does'. What deranged reason could you possibly have for acknowledging the issues you have, and refusing to try and get some help? Do you like having such a crippling issue crushing your self-esteem and personal independence? Do you feel like it makes you unique and you'll not be quite so quirky and fun without it? You really, honestly, truly, confuse me"

Ulv turned from Cali and shook her head softly in defeat.

"Sure, you can try. I'll visit your grave, say something nice"

Sun Dec 09, 2018 8:46 am

Calypso Asthavon

Calypso felt guilt over stating she didn't wish for that kind of help, and by the rising irritation burning her senses, she felt Ulv didn't take her response too well, but she wouldn't have imagined how 'not well' she had taken it til pure, bloodthirsty rage was being stabbed into her very being. Her eyes were wide as she had no choice but to stare silently into Ulv's eyes, crimson beginning to gloss her vision as the woman ranted to her, which only made this whole thing worse. Her heart was beating so quickly she wasn't even sure if it was beating anymore. Same with her thoughts, blitzing so quickly she didn't even know if she was able to think.

How quickly things went wrong...

Calypso's body looked sort of like it was black, melting tar, though still held relative shape as Ulv looked away and spoke her last hurtful statement. The demon was shaking, though no tears escaped from her eyes, nothing of her sensed of sadness.

If the woman cared to sense the young demon's emotions at all, it was nothing but anger. Anger and rage, inherited and fed by having the wolf's own forced upon her. A black, gooey hand would then rest on Ulv's shoulder, shivering bright as day, as the girl began to speak:

"..You did the exact thing I was afraid of... But I said it anyways..."

Golden eyes opened up along her chest as she spoke, all of them looking towards Ulv, the pupils visibly twitching as the black slowly formed into smaller, twitching mouths. Regardless if Ulv said or did anything, Calypso continued,

"I wAs tRYing tO bE HoNest. . ." As she spoke, the mouthed eyes spoke along with her, however possessing different, yet equally soft, voices, "i pUT faItH thaT yOu cArEd. . . buT yOu huRt mE wIThouT a secOnD tHOught. . ." Her main eyes became saddened ovals, golden tears seamlessly painting over the blackened skin as the whimpering sounds of a child came from her body, "jUsT bEcaUSe. . ."

Her body slowly reformed as the anger began to diminish, the extra mouths closing away as her skin returned to normal, her focus returning, "...I said I wanted help, but I felt this first way wasn't the best for me! My problems aren't like that! I'm not some special snowflake, I don't like having issues, NONE OF THAT!"

She removed her hand from Ulv's shoulder, and instead gestured to herself, "I'm trying to learn how to help others, best I can! How can I help them if I can't even handle harsh emotions, huh!? What kind of empathetic creature would I be if I can't learn to handle those things and help anyways?!"

She was torn up, tears pouring from her eyes, "My Mama is the fucking embodiment of madness and discord, if I can't learn to handle things like your rage without just turning it off, cupping my ears, and not know what's going on, how can I help her not be consumed by herself?!"

She panted loudly, rubbing her honey-soaked cheeks, as she stared down, "...I just want to help everyone... No matter how corrupt they've become... How can I do that if you think it's better to have me not able to feel those extremes at all, Ulv..?"

Coding By Lillian <3

Sun Dec 09, 2018 11:57 am

The Flame Of Hope

Artist: Hammerfall - Song: Hearts On Fire

When Cali started to grow and do her scare routine, the shape becoming something out of a H.P Lovecraft book, Ulv just crossed her arms and cocked an entirely unimpressed eyebrow.
"Ya can stop that, darlin'. I've taken more intimidating shits" her tone took a change, like Japanese Kansai dialect. She then listened and shook her head softly at the woman. "Mana is so far out of your liege you might as well be trying to help the colonists on Mars as you are right now. But you misunderstand me, little Calypso. You don't throw out something when you are trying to fix it. You FIX it. Hence the name. One would assume that to be rather self-exploratory.

You want to help, and yet your snarl of rage is more like a sneeze, and you see in black and white. Either you see everything all the time, or you see nothing at all ever. Maybe you are too young to comprehend the ability to do both. Maybe you just underestimate my power. Maybe you underestimate Yourself. Maybe all of the above. You won't help anyone fucking yourself over in some macho-driven desire to fucking break your head. Because trust me your head would break. I'm mildly irritated right now, It's like the first of six exponential levels. You can't even keep your head on at the first"

She took a deep breath through her nose and exhaled amber flames.
"I'm not a nice person, Cali. I am not a friendly person and I don't particularly care to much about you. I am helping you and other people because it sucks to feel like this and I don't want other people to feel like this. But if you've got the masochistic desires so well inherent in your mum's wife, then I won't force you to get the help you need"

Sun Dec 09, 2018 2:28 pm

Calypso Asthavon

Calypso frowned when she was once again reminded of the very true fact of how astoundingly far off she is from helping her mother; it was a fact she knew true, but it hurt to think she couldn't do anything now. If only she had been born sooner, she thought.

"..I don't get it.." She mumbled, though continued to listen out, her head tipped down, a soft confusion dawning her eyes. From how the woman stated it, the young demon imagined like a literal off switch, for her not to sense anyone around her period. Though as she listened, she got more and more confused, as to why any sort of rage was needed, especially since her fit was because of destabilization from taking on the emotion. She listened, and then sighed, though was a bit spooked by Ulv spewing flames.

"..I'm not expecting you to be a nice person, Ulv. Being nice and helping aren't mutual, you could be a jerk but be an excellent doctor, but there's that... And intentionally inflicting emotional harm.." She shivered, "I'm not upset about it, it just wasn't right.."

"..But i'm not masochistic, far from it. I don't understand how I can see everything, but not see everything, at the same time.. Those are two completely different things. But again, I need to learn how to handle that stuff anyways... How am I supposed to learn if I have it 'off'? I don't get it.."

She looked plenty guilty, however, muttering out one last thing, "...But i'm sorry for acting that way... I don't like anyone seeing how I actually look.."

Coding By Lillian <3

Sun Dec 09, 2018 2:39 pm

The Flame Of Hope

Artist: Hammerfall - Song: Hearts On Fire

"Hate to break it to you darling, but the world doesn't give a shit what is right. Just what is. “Take the universe and grind it down to the finest powder and sieve it through the finest sieve and then show me one atom of justice, one molecule of mercy. and yet... and yet you act as if there is some ideal order in the world, as if there is some... some rightness in the universe by which it may be judged.” Ulv shook her head and brought herself down to just pissed off. Which, for her, was the equivalent of a calm and mellow persona.

"You are still thinking black and white. Sunglasses do not turn the sun off. This, is the same concept. Your powers will not be off, temporarily or permanently. Unless you want that and you clearly don't want that. Much better to think, that they act like magic sunglasses. You can see the light, but it does not blind no matter how bright. And if you truly wish to connect with them, you can decide to let in all the light to your eyes. So that you can truly understand the hearts of those you wish to care for, and not be hurt by the hearts of those you pass by"

She then brushed a hand through her hair and gave a soft smile.
"And don't worry. I don't like people knowing I am an angry hateful bitch most of the time. So we are square"

Sun Dec 09, 2018 4:35 pm

Calypso Asthavon

Calypso heeded the woman's words of the world not giving a damn of a right or wrong, even if she didn't quite get it. Course there wasn't some cosmic, uniform way of being right or wrong, but some elements existed for that to be so.. Right? Or wrong..? She shook her head, the subject was too out of reach for her to dwell on. She sensed Ulv's hot emotions become... well... Less hot. Thinking back, she didn't really sense much calmness from her to begin with.

"..Now that you explain it, that doesn't sound as strange as what I initially thought.." She sighed, shuffling onto her knees, "So I can still learn to handle that stuff, not a total off switch, got it... Sorry." Her hands were curled on her knees, "I totally misunderstood... I mean, well, can we go at it again? I'll accept it this time, I promise."

Though, her head cocked to the side as Ulv commented about her being an angry, hateful bitch, causing her to wonder, "..Why are you like that, exactly? I mean... For someone to have such... Intense rage... All the time..." She seemed to space for a bit by just remembering it, then shaking for a moment, "Brrh.. I would think having that much.. All the time, would be stressful. What's there to be so angry about?"

Coding By Lillian <3

Sun Dec 09, 2018 4:56 pm

The Flame Of Hope

Artist: Hammerfall - Song: Hearts On Fire

"Ehh, I got a great deal of anger because of the fact that...you couldn't fathom the amount of people I have beaten to death with my bare hands. Such scale leaves a mark on you, and you can't get rid of that mark however hard you try. My Flame doesn't burn away the scars of the past, so you are stuck with them" she explained, before taking a step forward and having a soft laugh to herself. "And 'That much' is a laughable statement since you have barely seen an iota of the fury that I can mount when I truly require it's power"

Reaching out her hands again, she lit them up with the amber light and gave a warm, friendly smile to the young Cali.
"I can. The question is, can you find the negativity you want removing and replace it with hope for the future? Can you tell your heart you want to change from what you are to what you can be, or will you simply be lying to your heart? It'll make a mess. So make sure you know exactly what you are doing before you are about to do it"

Thu Dec 13, 2018 11:30 am

Calypso Asthavon

Calypso made a pained wince at the mere imagining of someone being beaten to death, especially with bare hands. Didn't help that Calypso's imagination was far more vivid than most, though she quickly tried to perish the thought, vanish it from her mind to focus at the task at hand,
"..Ouch." She mumbled, really the only response she could muster to something like that, and knowing that was only a flicker of the flames of her true anger was a chilling thought. Calypso could hardly imagine being able to handle something so intense, but Ulv seemed to have her shit together in some stretch, so maybe it worked for her.

She looked at the woman's amber-glowing palms, placing her own hands upon them once more, feeling their warmth. She made sure to avoid her gaze, even shutting her eyes, an expectation of a repeat of before in the back of her mind. Twas more out of survival instinct and experience gain than fear, however.

"The negativity?" She murmured, thinking on it for a moment, though she nodded, "I can think of it. Though telling you would be better..." Her legs shuffled, now fully sitting on the latter end of her legs, simply for comfort reasons, "Would using the overwhelm and discomfort from sensing other's intense emotions work for the 'negativity' part, and my desire to help those who feel intense negativity and anguish work for the 'hope for the future' part? Those make the most sense to me.."

Calypso clasped the woman's hands as she had the elements set in her mind, taking a small breath, mentally preparing herself, ensuring this is what her heart said... For the most part she was certain of it. She nodded softly, relaxed, and allowed the amber flames to burn forth upon her. It felt strangely like a warm rush, though she was then met with an unfamiliar rush, and soon felt the urge to rub her eyes, which her hands acted faster than conscious thought, rubbing her eyes for them to open, pupils appearing to sparkle for a bit.

"...Huh." She stared at Ulv, a mix of puzzle and somewhat relief on her face, "I think it worked? I'm not picking your emotions up nearly as much..."

Though she then cringed, "Eeeeh.. Though I don't think eye-gazing is a good idea for now, even if it's more controlled... I want to get better with it first.."

Coding By Lillian <3

Fri Dec 21, 2018 7:50 am

The Flame Of Hope

Artist: Hammerfall - Song: Hearts On Fire

Ulv was more of a, jump into the deep end, kind of girl, and glared deep into the other one's eyes, to show that there was nothing to worry about and no reason to avoid giving a look into Ulv's eyes.
"Devil's Heart doesn't do things by half, darling. It is something that will work perfectly as you need it to work. The only thing you need to know is that it will tell you how to work your new thing. Everything is instinctive and built-in. You don't need to worry about having to learn it or whatever"

To look at Ulv, there was a feeling of knowing the depth of her emotion, and what those emotions were. But, it was like reading from a book how dangerous a lion was. There was no emotional connection, no feeling it. Only a knowledge that she would feel it if she wanted to, and that choice was what protected her from the massive tidal wave that was Ulv.
"Not entirely sure what it does, but it does do something that will fix you. Because we don't mess about when it come to helping people like you"