Feels Like the First Time [Ceal/Ashlei]

[-Towering in the midst of the night the palace stood, a landmark that stood for centuries. Its gothic design remained a stark contrast to the historical buildings visible from all around it. Since the inception of the Queen of Demons, the very personification of madness, its appearance grew further warped. It's blackened walls housed the denizens of evil itself, home to the dark entities at the edges of humanity's history. It's visage, warped and twisted as it were, invoked feelings of anxiety, of heart thumping madness, of ominous calamity. What once stood as a symbol of British unification, was now a symbol of corruption, a reminder of the twisted perversion of what once was. It was home to Shadow Fall, the one true absolute.-]


It was just like the first time. It bore such a similar feeling, yet at the very heart of it Ceal knew it was inherently different. This feeling that rose up within her that time and now, they had something unique to each other. Then, she was hopeful. She was hopeful of what Shadow Fall could potentially represent. She sought the truth of it all at that time, she demanded to know the right of it. She wanted to understand it, to become intimate with what it meant. Her curiosity boiled to a point that finally lead her here that time, unaware of what could been in store for her. She wanted to meet the Queen, standing beside herself when that request was considered and fulfilled. At the time, she was so sure she knew what she wanted. She was unable to see it's inherent error, to fully grasp the reason why she knew not what that entailed. A terrible sort of irony could be a typical style of understatement. Indeed, as it were, that she had made the wrong decision. Yet even the regret that came from its realization began to subside, too, that part of her dying, being erased and replaced. A semblance of who she was being molded into something more of who she will be. A core part of herself changing even as it lay unknown to her. A change so subtle that one questions if it even exists, denying even the thought of it, the idea of it.

Yes, just like that first time, that warmth- No, to describe as such would be to undermind the severity of it. This burning in her chest dominated her senses, the terrible anxiety, this terrible anticipation racked her insides. So much had changed since then, yet so much also remained the same. It was a silly, ironic thought; but it was true nevertheless. Mana may have ravaged her, placed inside her the seed that would nurture the girl into a fully fleshed out tool, a weapon to be used at her whim, but Mana also put thought, put... feeling into it. No matter how twisted, perverted, or sick those feelings may have been, they changed the girl. For a person such as Ceal, one who'd fully believed her second chance at life should never have came, the attention she had been given was beyond the realm of dreams.

A world in which color was stripped had been replaced by the terribly inky black that was darkness.

It was a horribly beautiful scene. It was such a scene that only years ago, Ceal would have looked upon with idle fear. She would have strayed from that world, that life. She loved the colors of the world, the prismatic beauty in all things. She loved the world despite it's evil. She failed to understand how it happened, how she lost faith in that color, but it had to have happened somewhere along the way. How else could one explain the adoption of Mana's madness? Why would anyone who believed in those colors fall into the tar pit? We always start with the good intentions of the world. We start with those and yet, our path becomes stained with red as the march wounds us. We can look back and see the trouble, the terrible reality of the way of things. It does something to a person. No matter how pure one may be, or how strong their conviction, one thing was certain. No one was immune to the bitter trials and tribulations of life, of the dark reality we all live in.

As Ceal absently became lost in idle thought, she eventually found her way to a door. She was rather understandably shocked with herself that she could have been in such a deep thought she had not paid any mind to the demonic guards that walked these halls, or paid attention to the lavish adornments that decorated it's interior. All her recent memories had began to become hazy just after she entered into the main hall. It was a grand room of greeting, an open, high ceiling room with a colossal staircase in the epicenter of it. It was from this self same set of stairs that all the locations within could be reached, the one's Ceal had taken to reach the door she had come to.

Massive, hand crafted, the double doors of the Queen's chamber towered above the rest around her. They were so beautiful that one might have a hard time discerning if they were in fact real doors or not. They were doors that were satiated with the scent of Mana, the revered Queen of chaos and madness, incarnation of Eris, Goddess diety of discord. Her sickly beautiful aura radiated from the cracks along the door frame, such aura that Ceal was overtly sensitive too, being a legitimate slave of the Queen. Though, sometimes Ceal didn't see it that way. Mana had quickly grown into being that which Ceal revolved around. A person of such demanding presence that she gravitated around. In Ceal's imaginary inner world, her sun had begun to set forever. It had set before finally extinguishing itself forever. In a metaphorical sense, one could say it was mana who had replaced it, Eclipsing it with her on version, a sick corrupted form. A Black Sun. It spread a terrible light over that imaginary world, painting it in calamity, revealing the true nature of that world, but also revealing it's true beauty.

Hesitantly, Ceal grabbed at this door, opening it with one hand slowly. Despite preparing for it, the rush of Mana's residual aura still wafted over her, basking her in it's glorious filth. Such aura played chords upon Ceal's psyche, wrecking her mind just like any time before. It was just as bad as any other time, but Ceal knew it's effect on her now. She had long since decided to stop fighting it, allowing its madness to flow within and through her. Still, she had been surprised. She knew Mana was not here, but it felt like she was, or had left only seconds ago at the very least. The room was permeated in that selfsame aura that came from Mana's imminence.

With a start, she hurried into the room. She looked around, the room even more lavish than the rest of the palace, possibly combined. However, despite all of it's adornments, jewels and gems, the one gem -Mana- was nevertheless not here. Ceal knew that, she knew she was not here and yet- and yet she couldn't help but feel dissapointed. She knew that the Queen was terribly busy, and that was fine. It was fine but she couldn't help, or stop the powerful feelings she felt. Regardless, Ceal justified it was fine. It was fine just to be able to stay here, at least for just the moment, just for a little while.

Walking in more, the door closing behind her, she traced the foot of the incredible bed frame with her hand absently. The touch received a burning return as she trailed it, the residual energy reacting to the part of her that felt like Mana. Since the seal of Eris was placed upon her by the Queen, much of that adopted the traits of her. It may take on it's on form under Ceal's supervision, but anyone at all remotely familiar with Mana's terrible energy would notice it's likeness at just a single thought, a single touch, or a single smell. She had been adequate tainted by that energy, forever changing into something less than a human, less than a demon. She was impure upon both rights, a flawed amalgamation of the two, a cross-breed.

Still, it was nice to just bask in this presence. It was unknown why it felt so recent, why it felt like she was even here now, but it was soothing. The aura numbed her mind, changing the harrying voices that plagued her waning sanity into pleasant careening melodies, a lullaby of psychosis that made her consciousness fade, cradling her into what could be the most colorful dream she'd ever had. Checking the time, she decided to just lay down in front of the bed on a rug, it's emerald radiance helping drift her off into a nap, the subconscious of her seal's ability reacting with the ambiance around her