Of Wolves, and.....Hayden.

The door felt solid, very much so, in fact. If she were less in a serious situation, she'd take that as a challenge and go break it. She was highly confident in her ability to break things. But this was srs beeznezz, so she had to focus on Hayden. Who was looking intimidatingly normal as he stood up there in his shirt. Mirja felt like she should have worn something over her Latex bodysuit, because now she felt all exposed. She stepped forward, and then swished her tail nervously, trying to find out how to say this. Eventually, she decided to go how she did with Ibiki, and just tell the truth.

"No" It was short, sweet, and simple. Got to the crux of the matter. "What you said, didn't make an impact. Not even a dent. Probably not the best thing to say but I never liked lying. And, this may seem to be going off topic completely and I'm probably going to ramble a lot, but you need to hear this, so I will talk and then you can tell me to go, or just you know, kill me. Either works, really" She told him, looking about the room and then picking the absolute dead center to stand in. She was strange, like that.

"So, a Shinigami has recently woken from his coma. Called Tsubasa, a name I have heard a few times and associated with a dead guy, so was kind of surprising when I followed his monstrous output and found him. I can see how someone like him became the Head Captain. He took one look at me and saw right through the exterior I have put up over my life time, and knew that I was fundamentally broken. Without saying a word, he knew how I would act around him. It was kind of off-putting, actually. I'm not used to being so easily read. But, he didn't seem to stand for the concept of just letting me be, because it is to much work to try for something that might not happen. So, he told me that he was going to teach me the one thing I have been running from for hundreds of years. He was going to teach me, Control" she looked to her fist, and smiled softly. "I'm glad of it now, but then, I was terrified"

"See, to me, Control isn't something to be scared of, but why I need it, is. I was taken into the Academy, after being rescued from something nobody will ever tell me about, and eventually I got into my first hakuda class and they put me against a kid. He was full of vim and vigor. He'd passed the exams, and was on his way to becoming a noble Shinigami. How the kids back home would envy him when he came out with his Zanpaktou and Shihakusho. But first, he was sparring with this little waif of a girl. Slender, almost scrawny, short, and far to beautiful to have ever had any trouble with life, there was no way he was going to have anything amounting to a problem with this girl.

Unfortunately, I kind of liked fighting. Caught a taste for it fending off some bullies in my neighborhood, and since then I became the Pink Protector. Because, my hair was pink, back then. Amazing, I know, but still. I was better than him. By a considerable margin as well, even if he hadn't underestimated me and not even put up a guard, I would have put him on his ass. But that hurt, the way he just brushed me off, it hurt. So I decided to teach him a lesson, not to judge by the cover. I moved in and then came up from below him, threw my whole body into a hell of an uppercut. I was a strong girl then, and I knew he was going to feel this. It took him off his feet, and then he slammed onto the mat, and there was me grinning like an idiot. Because, well, he wasn't going to be underestimating anyone when he got up.

Only problem was, he wasn't getting back up. The teacher went over to him, and.....i'd killed him. His head went back so fast, and so hard, his spine snapped in two, and the shock of it killed him outright. Dead before he hit the ground. Poor kid never felt a thing, but he was dead. And, I had killed him" She wiped away the tears from her eyes, and looked up to Hayden. "The rest, is history, but....I never left that room. Not mentally. I was chained down by the memory that my strength was dangerous, that it was only good for killing people who did not deserve to die. I grew up, I matured, but my mentality, never followed suit. I never learned, I never grew, I stayed a kid who didn't understand the concepts that so many others took for granted.

Tsubasa, he freed me, he took me out of that mental pit and showed me that I needed to move on from it. That it wasn't exclusively my fault. The kid should not have underestimated someone who managed to get into the Academy. The teachers were away that I had a unique biology and should have warned the class about it before putting me in a combat situation. I should have been examined to make sure I wasn't a thread before being accepted into the Academy. There was so much more than me at fault. People look at me, and they see a mature adult, and they treat me like a mature adult, and the expect to be treated equally by that mature adult. But I'm not. I was just a scared kid, still trapped in the past, huddled into a corner, crying and praying for a savior. Tsubasa didn't exactly have a white horse, and he could have been a little more gentle about it, but he rescued me from there.

And that, is who burst into your office, so full of naivety and swagger. I never joined the Soul Reapers, I was born into them. My first ever memory is waking up in the 4th Squad Barracks, being told that I was part of the Shin'o Academy, and that was that. I was a Shinigami, I did my job. It was a very basic job. Punch The Enemy. So when I joined your nation I thought that is exactly what I was meant to do. Punch The Enemy. But when I was offered something new I took it and blithely went about my work, unaware of the laws of the Soul Society, but just happy to be doing something to help. I was honestly shocked when you refused, and so I fell back on what always worked when someone said not. Intimidate them, punch them, only with words this time. That was a new thing, punching with words"


Mirja, finally finished her rambling, and then just looked to Hayden, wondering if his brain had gone off on vacation because Mirja had been talking too much.