- CookiesThe Cookie
- Joined : 2011-08-07
Posts : 1892
Age : 30
Member Info
Platinum Points:
(17560/99999)
Tiers:
CookiesCan'tRead.exe
Mon Oct 13, 2014 5:48 am
※Check O' Meter※
Application Checklist
- Name [X]
- Appropriate Age [X]
- Gender [X]
- Appearance Present [X]
- Appearance Described in Appropriate Length OR Picture is Visible [X]
- Appearance is Not Claimed [X]
- 10 sentences for personality [X]
- History is of appropriate length [X]
- Powers are not Godmod/Overpowered [O]
- Powers are described reasonably enough [O]
- Application/RP Sample is not in First Person [X]
- Skills are not filled in (Omit if a Hollow)[X]
- RP Sample Present (Omit if this is not the first character) [X]
- RP Sample is 10 sentences [X]
Will Skills
- Willpower/Determination:
- Mental Deduction:
- Pain Endurance:
- Focus:
Comments/Notes: Let's get onto business, shall we?
First, what is this 'Vi' that you keep mentioning of? Since you never described what this is in the first place. Is it some type of fuel? A type of unique energy? An equipment? A weapon? Please explain what this is since you mentioned it a lot.Octohonk wrote:Jikoku is a walking death threat. She does not rely on speed but rather pure agility, flexibility, and strength. Her hits deal an astounding amount of damage and being able to contort and bend her body into odd positions helps immensely while fighting. However, Iko’s purpose when being involved in fights is usually not to fight but fuel Vi up whenever she’s low on steam. Iko has stopped working and malfunctioned in battle. When this happens she somewhat just...falls over, and looks to have broken to pieces. With a few clicks of her wind up key, and she’s back to business.
Second, speed and agility is typically the same, and i can't really see the differences of pure and impure, since it sometimes relies more on spiritual energy than natural stamina and physical capabilities for 'impure speed'. And another thing that confuses me, what causes her to malfunction? Since you've gone straight off the point that she has stopped working and malfunctioned wihout actually detailing it of what caused it. This is optional, but it depends on you.
I'll just say no. This 'core' of hers, considering with the tier i am planning to give her, i am not comfortable with having her 'never going out', unless it has something to do with willpower, if you mean by energy or stamina alone, i will just reject it. Its just like telling me that she has unlimited amount of energy that will never run out even if she fights someone far more powerful than her, or even fighting multiple people and casting powerful attacks wihout breaking a sweat or changes to her energy level/capacity. This applies to stamina as well, that she can't run around the globe for centuries and never runs out of power, same logic applies. So, fix 'em. Unless i am misinpreting of what you mean, hit me up directly in xat or through PM.octohonk wrote:Another natural ability of hers that makes her somewhat of a wanted “item” is the fact that, as long as you can wind Iko up, she will never go out… essentially, this means she is a powersource on legs. It is unsure just how much she has within her seeing as there’s no safe way to measure it but Vi has compared her “core” to that of a star. Burning continuously until there’s nothing left. Iko will argue this saying while the comparison is somewhat true, she will never run out as long as the gears in her body can be wound up.
octohonk wrote:THE BALL. The ball Iko is shown to be carrying around with her, is what handles the majority of fights for the robot girl. The ball was built by Vi whom has made MULTIPLE changes to further advance the balls power. Vi got the second best power source to fuel the ball, nuclear power. The ball is of a “super intelligent nature” that is “perfectly in sync with its master (Jikoku)” Whenever fighting happens, the ball is equipped with rotating blades in which Iko can either punch, or throw forward or even will use it with a ball and chain technique, using a strengthened steel chain to swing the ball INCREDIBLE distances. The chain itself has a retracting chain in which the chain itself is about ten yards in length. The ball has a very obvious “eye socket” which will never stop moving. This eye socket will read situations, enemies or just an area and send information back to Iko “telepathically” this in itself will help brace Iko before a fight and tell her if the fight is worth it. The ball in fact is the only thing that can not be broken by just anyone. The only person whom would even be slightly capable of such an action would maybe be Nemain. Vi however has forbade Iko from stepping to Nemain for fear that something bad would happen to the fragile robot girl. Iko herself can most likely be torn to pieces if an enemy can get their hands on her but due to the shocking effect her body has on enemies this course of action most likely will not be taken. The Ball also has a slight amount of free will, acting as a shield. If someone gets a tad too close the ball will block Iko, but can be knocked back if hit with a direct punch. If the eye socket on the ball (which is an extremely vulnerable spot) were to be shattered, or absolutely smashed, Iko would be forced to fight without getting a proper reading. This in itself can cut her chances of victory down by about twenty percent.
I'm fine with this, but how big of a radius can the ball take in information, and again, unless you're intending just like something that never runs out of power, i'd suggest changing so. Otherwise, this thing has my approval.
First, it is hard to keep track with time in a thread, especially seconds, minutes or hours since it is hard to determine the 'time' that happens in threads. I suggest turn the charging into a post, or just say its an instant.octohonk wrote:Being a robot, IKO has the power to concentrate staggering amounts of electricity in any given part of her body. However the transition can take enough time to leave her vulnerable against a speedier opponent. For example, the time it takes to channel the power is about 2.5 seconds, in that time, she can kinda push herself to have her opponent make contact with her, however, since majority of her opponent are stronger and faster, she has to time this perfectly or risk getting punched and cracked or broken.
However, this move does not happen on its own, and can easily be dispelled, and she can and HAS made herself a walking ball of power. This is why in bigger fights, she is a necessity to Vi, whom must keep her gauntlets charged or risk having to fight hand to hand, wasting stamina. In terms of the effect this could have on opponents, it could leave them with only a slight shock. It’s mostly used as a cop out, the first two hits dealt from enemies surprises them, confusing them and making them think that physical contact is not allowed, so this is the true vantage point of this ability.
Second, how many times can she use this ability? 3 times? 4 times? Instead of saying that her enemies would be faster and stronger, just limit it to a tier level or skill level in terms of speed and strength in comparison with hers, making it easier for things to be tracked properly than saying he/she WILL be stronger than her.
Otherwise, no problems for the rest.
If possible, i want to get more detail of this 'electrical spasms' since i didn't notice any of that trait in her ability to manipulate electricity. In terms of focusing electricity to her palms and fists, may i know that if these are to enhance his strength, or provide the speed boost as you have mentioned? If possible, rather than 10% and such, you can make it as if her general speed boosts one skill rank, making it easier to track, but this is optional.octohonk wrote:Whilst in this state, Iko can better control her electrical spasms and can focus it to her palms and fists and gets a slight but noticeable speed boost(about a 10% speed boost). The ball and chain is still used however with the better control of electricity, Iko will channel more of it into the ball through the chain, becoming a rather shocking enemy. She also has a far faster reaction time but due to her lack of speed it still somewhat keeps her grounded. This reaction time improvement though will be enough to give her somewhat of a vantage point when fighting with the ball.
First, solar power. I don't mind with that part, but what really makes it iffy is that there is no limits of how much solar power she can absorb and replenish herself, very much like superman that just gets overpowered and fueled with power from just the sun alone. I need a limit in this solar power, since i can see a lot of loops here and around with this one where she won't run out of power as long as she is in a bright enviroment where there is a sun around.octohonk wrote:When Iko releases her spirit power her robot body takes on a whole different form. This form in itself, is her natural form. Seeing as she is so old, it makes absolute sense that she would appear to be an older japanese doll. When this form is activated, hardly any words are spoken, and IKO can take this form in a matter of seconds. The ball she uses to fight will find a comfortable place on the floor, and sit, not moving at all. She will rip pieces of her own body off and then proceed to craft four separate swords with the use of her reiatsu. Her speed whilst in this form, triples, giving her incredible amounts of speed. While in this form, she also uses solar power while in this form, which is the sole reason why her power becomes so extreme. The swords shes crafted are made from a very complex but balanced amount of copper and silver. She then will direct every bit of electrical charge she can control, to the blades. The amount of electricity being circulated in the swords is so great that the swords will over glow blue, and the crackling of the power can be heard over a few yards.
While in this form, absolute abuse of the ball occurs as well. The ball being as strong as it is though, can take the hits with little to no problems. It is often that Iko will simply kick the ball at opponents and use it as a true ball during fighting, stopping to kick it back to their bodies, faces, anything to land a hit. The blades on the ball are weak enough to where they don't cut her, and can be blocked with a sword. Swords are strong enough to pierce her body. In this form though, her skin has found itself a bit more resistant to cuts and cracking. Iko becomes an absolute ruthless death machine when this form is activated and often has to be DEACTIVATED by Vi. This happens when the key in her back is removed or whenever the target enemy has been killed.
Second, with the ball part, where it gets a little-to-no damage from being hit is just telling me that the ball is literally invincible, which means even earth-shattering physical attacks won't even flinch it at all. I want to know if there is anything or a weakness to the ball that can at least damage it, rather than taking hits from everything and be unscathed by it.
Third, "The blades on the ball are weak enough to where they don't cut her, and can be blocked with a sword. Swords are strong enough to pierce her body.".
This part is where i don't understand. The blades are weak enough that they don't cut her, but it can be blocked with a sword. And then, it was written that the swords are strong enough to pierce her body. One, what sword? Two, is the sword apart of the ball's arsenal? And three, which or whom's sword, hers, the ball's or someone else's? That's what i want to know.
That's all for now. Until you fixed what i've stated, i'll re-check the app and see if there is anything else that i've missed or requires any changes again. Thank you for your hardwork, and hopefully, good luck with this one. You get my thumbs up, m8.
Tier: N/A - Will be given after it has been fixed
Empty, blank space.
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum