Announcement: Communication

Wed Aug 20, 2014 11:50 pm

Spoiler:

The above is a chat log that you may or may not read depending on how much you especially care about an ex-member's opinions and general approach to living her life, but there are two things brought up that I at least have seen happen multiple times and in a way that makes zero sense to me, so we'll try to air out some laundry today and discuss these two topics. First we'll discuss how to communicate with staff, and then we'll speak with staff specifically on an application.

1.) First off, to preface this, Staff will NEVER ignore you. I don't mean we will always respond immediately to a PC or a PM or to you speaking in the main xat(for instance Frost, JJ, Kyle, and I will frequently just leave our Xat regardless of whether or not we're actually at our computer,) but regardless you will never be genuinely ignored. Now I know that, ignoring the situation above, that it frequently feels like you're getting ignored. I've been a normal member as long as I've been staff and when I first got here I was VERY at odds with the staff in general. I thought Frost was an idiot(still do, stealing my VCR of all things) and I thought that they were a bunch of incompetent morons for completely disregarding everything I said. My problem at the time, and the problem I see with a lot of people and their interaction with staff, is expecting another human being to inherently see things the way you do. Staff, outside of me, because I'm a dick, is very reciprocative and we don't do this job for ourselves. Our ultimate goal is to help you, we do this job to help you. I'm not getting paid to approve your characters(Frost, we should get commission, get on dat, I want my damn gum drop) I'm not getting paid to police the Xat, I'm not getting paid to sink my time in to this place to give you the chance to have as much fun as possible.

Knowing this, why do we always seem like we don't care about your opinions? The answer is mostly because you're a dick. Don't get me wrong, it's not intentional dickishness, it's that you don't look at the site the same way we do. When we make decisions, we need to make them not only for you, but for the next guy, and the guy after that and then the one after that. We do this job for you, but you're also one of many. So it's for you and everyone else, so when you come at us angry that we're slighting you, we generally ask that you step back and look at how what you want to do might affect everyone else. Which leads to the second point on this topic. Don't come at us angry. While I am, in fact, a god, the rest of my colleagues are quite human(sort of...Frost is apparently the incredibly smart and talented level 9 wizard Morphumax, JJ is a cat, and Cookies is...we're not going to get in to that). They very much are bound to their flight or fight responses. If you rush in, all in a tizzy, they're likely going to react one of two ways: Ignoring you(flight) or lashing back(fight). At no point during this exchange will you get what you want, unless you want to be hated, then more power to you. This is as much a PSA as it is a lesson in Psychology. Staff wants to be treated like people too, if you present your concern in a logical, polite, and direct manner...we'll reciprocate in a logical, polite, and direct fashion. If you want us to help us, you need to approach us politely. It's why there are such...such such such such stark differences between people's opinions about PH's Staff. One person thinks we're wonderful and are always helping and the other thinks we're the devil.

I'll crack the code for you. When Pockeh has an issue, I've never seen him attack staff for it. He talks to staff. He presents his issue and asks what the best way to fix the issue is. He never DEMANDS his way. He never acts entitled, he realizes our job is to help him, but ultimately it's to help the site and that he's not the only important person on the site. The other part of this conversation did the exact opposite in her dealings with staff...and you can tell which one is having a happier time here. The moral of the story, if you have a gripe with a decision we made or our behavior or anything of the sort...come to us directly and be polite about it. Don't attack us, don't run around behind our backs with the high school gossip mongering, act like a mature human being and you'll be treated like one.

2.) The second issue above is also communication related, but it is specifically related to how to talk to the staff member who is specifically checking your application. The person above, after effectively rage quitting the site for a time, came back to the site and attempted to renew her character. The app was checked by Frost and, as with all renewed characters, had to go through the new standards for new characters. Consequently, problems arose and changes were asked to be made. The person who sought to renew her app immediately left the site, made no attempt to communicate with Frost or the staff at all, and, as you can see, has resorted to insulting the board at large. The theme you can undoubtedly see would indicate that this is a horrible way to go about things.

To preface, Staff has the final say. If we demand that you change or remove something and if we continue to demand it, at a certain point no amount of kicking or screaming is going to change our minds, but before that point, we're actually very open to being wrong. If you want to prove us wrong though, you need to approach us the right way. As with the category above, if you fly off the handle and riding on your high horse with a "nuh uh, you're wrong because I said so" mentality and acting like you're entitled to whatever we're denying you...we're going to keep denying you and then keep laughing at you forever. If you come at us politely, give us logical reasons for why we should agree with you, and give us examples, hard, raw, facts and you phrase it in an objective manner...we change our opinions all the damn time. But realize, while we're more than capable of being wrong, we aren't exactly fond of being told we're wrong. We're human(excluding me) and you should treat us as such. Your goal should NEVER be to "beat" us. If that's the attitude you come in to the situation with, then you're going to get your ass kicked and you'll be off crying in the corner or cursing those gosh darn PH peoplez. You come at the situation with "My idea is a good idea that will help the site" and suddenly we're much more likely to help you do what you want to do.

TL;DR/Moral of the story: Politely try to get us to agree with you, don't try to beat us, or you're gonna have a bad time.

Sat Sep 06, 2014 5:26 am

I'm making an update to this and stating that I have indeed banned Aivee once and for all. As much as I do feel an attachment towards her, I can't allow it to go on any further. So I am filing it under the bases she is a toxic member from this incident, and others like in the past. Therefore, her stuff will be decommissioned soon.

That is all.

https://www.platinumhearts.net/u674

Tue Mar 31, 2015 9:13 pm

«THESE ARE MY THOUGHTS BELOW»

Alright, I'm moving this into old announcements and unstickying this because it is old news and I'd rather forget about this whole incident in general.

Announcement: Communication

Announcement: Communication

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Re: Announcement: Communication

Re: Announcement: Communication