Turkey Celebration (Invite Only/Shizou)

Magnolia slowly looked up at the sky, her eyes distant and unreadable as she slowly raised her left thumb to her lips parting them and biting down on her nail. Her hair reflecting the light, while she seemed to be having an internal struggle , her eyes looked heavy. She didn’t let it bother her until now, but she had come here for a reason. So she slowly stepped back into the shadows a small sad smile on her face before she had pulled something from her bag. A small strange looking knife , which she clasped between both her hands before trying to bring it back trying to strike her own throat until her body seemed to freeze. The knife slid from her partially opened hands and clattered against the floor, while she slowly tilted her head to the side, wet tears running down her left side of her face, while she slowly had let out a shaky gasp.




“I. . . Can’t even kill myself anymore, I tried to ignore the signs but they are still here. I’m sorry the truth is I didn’t come here for your company nor to celebrate your achievements, I came here because I don’t know where else to go.”



Magnolia’s words had a strange softness to them, as she slowly looked out the window, a slight amount of blood running from her lips while she had let out a wet rattling cough, more blood dripping from her mouth while she had slowly pulled something from her shirt, a pill bottle. Slowly popping the lid she pulled out a single white pill before popping it into her mouth and swallowing it. The effect was nearly instantaneous , her spiritual pressure which was too high to comprehend, lowered to something bearable for her body to manage. The familiar tremors over taking her from the drugs side-affects; these would last for a short moment before her mental dominance suppressed the undesired affects. Then raising her head, she’d slowly chew on her lower lip; a nervous habit.




All the while there was something different about her, the way she had been insane; so sure of what she was doing. None of that remained , all that was left seemed to be a shell of her former grace and regal composure. A child stripped of her defenses to leave the ragged darkness that lay beneath, which slowly had been rising to the surface this whole time. Her eyes didn’t speak of mere sadness , but pains that came from someone who had had her reality and hopes shattered once again. Someone who had no one to rely on anymore, no one that she could trust as a friend. Or more, she had no family left. . . Well she had family but. The one who had given her hopes once more had betrayed their promise, had broken it without a second thought.




“I . . Can’t believe I thought Claire was . . really caring about me”




She murmured her hands gripping the window ledge with considerable force, as seen by the hair line fractures that began to form on it. Even though she knew the place was considerably stronger then a normally made building. It was no match for the strength she was exuding from the clenching, while she had turned her back to Zane. When her words got to “caring about me” they seemed to quiver. Uncertain, unable to understand what had gone wrong. Unable to comprehend just how the situation had gotten as bad as it had. Even with all her knowledge she had been powerless.




Magnolia grit her teeth then, as her nails dug into the window ledge gouging deep holes in it, which would generate a most unpleasant screeching sound. She was upset, clearly upset her heart wasn’t able to keep much more bottled inside, the memories all of them just had been all this time wearing down her mental barriers, leaving her ragged and leaving her raw. Vulnerable , unable to deal with the situation at hand anymore . She hadn’t thought about where she was going, she just had gone to the first place that had come up into her head, and that place had been here. That was just how it turned out, but as she took a deep breath, her tear drops hit the back of her hands.


“ That. . Woman betrayed me, she went back to her destructive ways even after we had a deal”



She had said her words strained as if they had been coming out forcibly, the blackened emotion in her heart radiating to the surface. They would be palpable in the air, her blackened heart which was unable to really heal. She was unable to forgive anymore, she had lost that capacity. She seemed only to be able to feel the radiating sadness inside which enveloped her in its black clutches. So as she removed her hands from the window ledge, she slowly straightened her back up, turning to face zane with her head tilted to the side, her eyes had a easy to distinguish tint to them. She hated herself , she couldn’t forgive herself for her failures. There was nothing in the world she hated at this point, more then she hated herself and her weakness. Nothing more in this world that she hated, hated more than herself.



“I am a menace Zane. . . “



Magnolia said slowly her arms spreading out to either side, as the weather overhead seemed to grow dark, rain splattering everywhere. It wouldn’t harm anyone though, instead it was a slight rain and thunder boomed over the town. A deep sadness was resonating with her heart, leaking outwards seeping through the cracks of her carefully kept mask, it wasn’t simple emotions anymore , it was as if she indeed was a seed of despair that was planted in this world for worse , to destroy and nothing more, nothing less than destroy. Despite her gains.



“I for a long time have been aware of another presence inside me, but it’s only just now beginning to wake up. .”



She said slowly as her words had a quivering to them, she silently there had tears running from her face. She was broken, she had put up a brave mask, a brave face, but there was honestly just a frightened girl beneath in the darkness, reaching out for help, reaching out for something to call home. But unable to grasp that home, she slowly just sunk further into the depths, suffocating in the despair , slowly eroding her sense of self into nothing but a small shadow of misery and self-depravation. She was like the rain, unable to pull out of that sad melody that crushed but did not breathe new life. Her eyes tearing over, but she seemed to forget how to cry, here was a broken little bird, unable to fly she had slowly landed on her knee’s arms winding around herself , as she seemed to bow her head, almost like she was trying to pray to some far off omnipotent god which was really not there to begin with.



“I’m Scared of it to be honest”



Her voice was a shaky quivering whisper, hushed and hoarse as she refused to meet the gaze of the man zane who had become stronger. She just couldn’t deal with it anymore, not in the way she had been dealing with it like.



“Scared . . That I may end up destroying rather then . . protecting”