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Pociden
Pociden
Established Member
Joined : 2013-11-11
Posts : 102
Location : CA

Member Info
Platinum Points:
Ace Marx [APPROVED 4-2] Left_bar_bleue0/0Ace Marx [APPROVED 4-2] Empty_bar_bleue  (0/0)
Tiers:

Ace Marx [APPROVED 4-2] Empty Ace Marx [APPROVED 4-2]

Thu Nov 14, 2013 6:55 pm




















»Ace Marx«
»Vizard[4-2]«



» Name:Ace Marx
» Appearance Age: Mid twenties
» True Age: 550
» Gender: Male

» Appearance Description: An average human-sized person. He has black hair which hangs loose and covers his forehead slightly. His eyes are black and slightly slanted. His stare is that of someone distant, cold, and uncaring. He's slightly muscular but not enough to show it. Most of the time he'll wear black shirts and jeans and on other days he'll wear dark colors. His dark red leather jacket fits him just right and the color transforms to black as it gets to his hood. The zippers on his jacket are gold colored and has pockets on both sides. He wears black boots which are always tied tight. He'll usually be seen reading or carrying a book with him. His zanpakutō is in a holder which is attached to a strap worn around his shoulder.

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Ace Marx [APPROVED 4-2] Image4110-1

» Personality: When Ace was a child he was always an outsider. He never was able to fit in and was teased a lot at school. He loved his parents a lot and came crying to them every day from so much teasing. When his parents died, he changed drastically. He was put in a foster home and became very distant and cold. People kept teasing him but it had stopped effecting him. He was depressed every day. At night, he would softly weep until he fell asleep. He had became so distant that he resisted any contact with fellow students. His mood brightened a bit after meeting his first friend. Soon, life seemed alright as his new best friend and him would get hang out. When his friend died suddenly, he became distant and cold again. Soon he started to develop a passion to read. He became interested in the stories of tragedies.
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Ace Marx [APPROVED 4-2] Image4113-1

» Zanpakutō Name: Kōri-shin (Ice God)

» Zanpakutō Spirit Appearance: In its inactive state, the spirit looks like a pile of cube shaped ice. Each cube is the size of a soccer ball. There are many cubes that are scattered around in a small area. The cubes are also extremely cold and give off a cold white mist to it. When it is awakened, the cubes begin to form a figure. When the cubes are all in place, they change shape. They begin to form a bird the size of an average human. The bird still has the white mist except it looms over its talons instead. The bird is light blue and cannot be seen through. The body is formed with the same detail as a regular bird. But when Ace contacts his spirit in his inner world, the spirit transforms to look like a tall young man with spiky white hair. He always has a serious look on his face whenever in this form. He has a white version of the shinigami's robe and white boots. He also has a zanpakutō in his sheath which is the color of light blue.

» Zanpakutō Spirit Personality: The bird is observant. It likes to watch its master perform tasks their own way. When it sees its master in a situation in which they are not able to solve, the spirit will offer advice. The spirit cares about its master and will at times ask what is on their mind if they seemed troubled.

» Inner World: The inner world is on a high flat mountain top. The place is cold and there is snow around the place. The snow falls from the sky which is dark and clouded. There are few trees and the ones that are there are covered in snow. The area is hard to breath in due to the lack of trees and the cold.

Sealed Zanpakutō Appearance: In its sealed state, the weapon looks like a katana sword that is perfectly straight slightly longer than the average zanpakutō.

» Release Phrase: Shikai: Hisame/ Bankai: Sorera o subete tōketsu.

» Shikai Appearance: Ace's blade from his zanpakutō becomes extremely cold. Then the blade starts to turn to ice and the temperature drops below zero degrees. The blade also emits a cold mist looking like the mist produced from dry ice.

» Shikai Abilities:

Sunōsurasshu: In a single slash, the gathered spiritual energy Ace obtained is concentrated then released in a white crescent moon shape wave which is launched forward. The wave of energy travels a distance of around 20 feet or so before it begins to dissipate if it does not come into contact with its target. When hitting the target, an explosion of spiritual energy erupts. The explosion, if not blocked, will injure the target and also send them flying backwards. In addition, the target begins to feel noticeably chilled unless they are unaffected by ice attacks. Knowing the name of the attack is said to be stronger than if the master of the attack did not know the name.

Snow Storm: Ace is able to control the temperature around him. He can drop is well below freezing point. Ace can also make the place snow if he is able to drop the temperature that far. This drop in temperature makes anyone in the area have slower reactions. Unless the person is immune to temperature dropping below freezing point, they will find fighting in the area extremely difficult. Ace does not obtain any disadvantages in dropping the temperature though. On the contrary, his abilities are stronger. Not only that, but his strength and speed are increased due to his affinity for the below freezing temperatures.

» Bankai Appearance: Ace sprouts out large wings that are huge and made out of ice, just like the one his zanpakutō spirit has. His blade gains a white chain that is made up of five rings linked together.

» Bankai Abilities:

Icy Blood: Ace's blood begins to change instantaneously once using bankai. His blood transforms into liquid nitrogen. Due to this change, he is able to take massive hits that would otherwise wound him badly. Also, He does not suffer any movement restriction. The adrenaline that the body produces is used much more effectively. Thus, Ace is able to not suffer from fatigue as quickly as most people would and will be able to continue a fight longer than most can.

Sunōsurasshu Enhanced: A more potent version of the attack in shikai form. The amount of spiritual energy that is gathered and concentrated is doubled and much stronger. The path of the wave can be conrolled and the power and speed have been explosively enhanced due to the spiritual energy that was gathered. The range is increased to around 40 yards before beginning to loose its potency. The massive amounts of energy will greatly injure the person and will knock them back farther and faster. Immense strength is required to even attempt the block.

Wings of Ice: Ace's wings are as cold as his zanpakutō making anything that touches them begin to freeze. The wings are very touch and damaging them is much harder than trying to kill Ace. Ace can easily control the wings allowing him to move them quickly and use them as a shield in case of emergency. The wings also increase his movement allowing him to move quickly around the field.

Storm of chilling death: Once enough reiatsu has been gathered, which takes about 1 post, Ace can summon large black clouds that cover an area the size of a town. The clouds release booming thunder and then the attacks begin. Large shards of ice are rained upon the area. The shards are the size of a cutting knife. Multitudes upon multitudes are produced from the sky. Ace is able to control the ice in order to hit his target. Upon getting hit, the shards will turn liquid, coating whatever it hit, and then quickly freeze. After 10 shards have hit his target, the target will freeze in a block of ice and Ace's zanpakutō begins to glow. Ace is able to slice through the ice with ease, splitting the ice in half along with his opponent also. The storm persists until around 5 posts.

Ice clones: Ace shatters his ice chain completely and turns them into 5 shards. When the chain shatters, it creates a mist that temporarily hides him. Upon having the mist recede, Ace uses the shards to create 5 clones right next to him that look exactly like him, all with the same looking zanpakutō that Ace has. The clones have his strength, speed, and toughness. They have the same spiritual pressure making it very difficult to detect which one is the real one. They attack separately from each other and Ace. The clones can take damage and can be killed. Once all 5 have been killed, they turn back into shards to form the ice chain again. After all the clones have died and the chains is put back together, Ace will not be able to create more for some time (about 4 posts).
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Ace Marx [APPROVED 4-2] Image4116-1

» Inner Hollow Description: Ace's inner hollow looks somewhat like Ace. The hollow has spiky white hair, unlike Ace's hair. He has Ace's clothes except they are a lighter shade. His skin is also pale white. His eyes are black with a white iris. The hollow's name is Poki.

» Inner Hollow Personality: Poki has a twisted humor. It's the kind of humor where people laugh when someone falls, except much worse. He laughs at peoples pains and sufferings. He enjoys watching them loose hope. A truly twisted kind of humor and enjoyment. Along with the cynical humor he has, he is very proud. His ego is very high and he likes to boast. He'll put people down to make him look better and then laugh at them when they become depressed. Insulting his pride will only make him mad. And when he's mad, all hell usually brakes loose.

» Inner Hollow Powers: (Shown as vizard powers)

» Hollow Mask Appearance: The mask fits closely to his face. There are semi circles for the eyes. Ace's eyes change from his normal eyes to his hollows eyes. The mouth is open and blue mist appears very time Ace breathes. There are also three red lines that go across his mask from left to right. They are at his eyes, nose, and mouth. Another line comes from the top of the mask to the bottom, crossing through the other lines

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Ace Marx [APPROVED 4-2] Image4117-1

» Vizard Powers:

Splitting Sunōsurasshu: Ace is able to divide his Sunōsurasshu into 5 waves instead of one massive attack. Each wave has equal power as the next and when combining all 5 waves, has equal power as the original Sunōsurasshu. Ace is able to send them with quick slashes from his zanpakutō and is able to control the direction of all 5 of the crescent shaped attacks.

Cero: Ace is able to produce a cero the size of a baseball. The cero is light blue and has an unlimited range. If the cero hits, it will freeze the the target it hit instantly. The cero is slightly slower than an average cero due to its freezing effect.


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Ace Marx [APPROVED 4-2] Image4118-1

» Resurrección Appearance: Has not learned yet.

» Resurrección Abilities: Has not learned yet.

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Ace Marx [APPROVED 4-2] Image4112-1

» Background:

» Living Life: As a kid, life in Japan was hard for him. Ace was teased by a lot of kids when he was a kid. He would always run to his parents and cry to them. They would calm him down and cheer him up by telling stories of great warriors and then getting him ice cream. As he grew older and started going to school, the same kids teased him from when he was a child. And time after time he would run to his parents and cry and they would make him better. When we just finished 6th grade, he learned of life changing news. His parents were killed in a car crash with a drunk driver. Ace was in shock for several days. Adults had decided that Ace would in a foster home. Ace started to become distant and cold. He would reject any contact with him, whether it was a student or teacher. Ace was in the 8th grade and was constantly teased still. The teasing had stopped bothering him until one day a boy in his grade had said something insulting about his parents and that pissed Ace off. Ace got into a fight with the boy and had Broken the boys arm. Ace was talked to and then sent home. By the time high school came, Ace had gotten his own job and gotten a room. He had became unnoticeable and that's how he liked it. Until one day, a boy by the name of Axel Chillick came along and had introduced himself during lunch. Ace had ignored him and continued eating his lunch. Axel made a goal to befriend Ace and kept on pestering Ace the rest of the day to hang out with him and his friends. Then Axel started to pester him the entire week to hang out with him. Ace finally gave in and hung out with Axel. Axel and Ace became great friends shortly after. Ace was starting to become filled with happiness again. That's when another tragedy happened. Axel and Ace were in their junior years of high school when he learned that Axel had died. Filled with grief and sadness, Ace went to Axel's funeral and went home to lay on his bed not know what to do since him and Axel were going to do things together that week. Ace saw a book left by Axel and started to read it. It was a popular story that everyone was talking about. Soon, Ace had developed a passion to read, always carrying a book around with him. Then one day, on his way back from the library he was in the middle of crossing the street when a speeding car ran the light and had hit him sending him flying. The amount of force had instantly killed him. Ace started to haunt the place where he had used to live for a few months till a shinigami had found him. The shinigami told him about the soul society and that's when Ace realized he could meet Axel again. Quickly agreeing, the shinigami sent him to the soul society.

» Pre-shinigami: Once there, Ace had still kept all his memories. He went to find a family that was close to his and soon was greeted by a warming family that had one son that looks younger than Ace. Ace was happy with his new family and set out to find Axel. After many years of searching he could not find Axel. Then one day his new mom asked him to get some thing for dinner. Ace went to the market and saw a man who looked like Axel. Ace ran to him to talk to him but as soon as he was close the man had looked as a list and disappeared. Unable to comprehend what happened, he ran back to his house and asked about the people in with the logos on them. His parents told him that he was a member of Gotei 13 and that they are the defenders of the soul society. Hearing this, Ace vowed to join the Gotei 13 and find Axel. After training for 300 years, Ace took the entrance exam. He received news shortly that he had passed.

» Shinigami: Ace had to become a shinigami. He knew that he had to be as strong ask Axel when he meets him so that they can do missions together. Ace studied, practiced, and meditated. Finally he had passed Shinigami Academy after several years. He was then admitted to join the 13th division. Ace was very excited that he had finally was admitted. He went to go find Axel only to be sent on his first mission. By the time Ace had gotten back, he was exhausted. He had not expected the Gotei 13 to be this hard. He vowed to train more and meditate more in order to become stronger. As the years went by Ace's missions became less and less challenging as he started to develop his skills in the field and in combat.

It has been about 100 years since he had joined division 13. Ace has noticed he has gotten stronger not just physically and mentally but spiritually as well. He has also learned how to use his flash step more effective along with his attacks being much faster. He also has became more skilled in handling his sword.

In an open empty field on Earth, Ace begins to recall all his mission."Guess that all that training paid off." He said to himself. Even though 100 years has passed, he was still the same personality wise. He was detached and cold to his squad members and usually ignored them. Just then he heard what sounded like a voice. "Who's there?" Ace said as he looked around. He was the only one here. There he heard it again. He started to listen closer and this time he heard it. It was becoming louder and clearer. "Can you hear me?" Asked the mysterious voice. "Yes. Who are you and where are you." Ace said aloud. "I speak to you from your zanpakutō. I am your zanpakutō spirit." Said the voice. Surprised, Ace wasn't sure what to say next. After a long pause Ace asked, "If you're my zanpakutō spirit, what is your name then?" The spirit thought for a moment then responded, "In order for you to obtain my name, you must prove to me that you are able to wield my power through the use of trials." Ace, eager to learn his zanpakutō spirit's name asked, "Where do I begin to start these trials?" After some time the spirit responded, "Your first trial is to enter your inner world and meet me in there." Ace went back to the soul society and went to his room. His room was small with enough space just for him like all the others. He placed the sword in the middle of the room and sat behind it and started to meditate. He kept meditating and meditating and still nothing happened. He started to grow impatient. Finally he broke meditation and grabbed his sword. As soon as he grabbed it he was instantly transported to his inner world.

He looked around and then he saw a large bird made out of ice come walking towards him. Surprised on how the spirit looked, Ace stood there and stared. The spirit was in front of Ace when he said, "I see that my appearance has shocked you," Ace nodded at that moment, "Well congratulations on passing the first trial. There's are one more ahead. Are you prepared?" Ace stopped staring at the spirit and nodded. "Good. Then let us begin." and right as the spirit said that a huge explosion of mist happened. Ace caught in the mist looked around. "What the hell was that?" he said squinting trying to see through the mist. "Spirit? Are you there?" Right as he said that he saw a mysterious man in place of the giant bird spirit that was just there a few seconds ago. "Who are you?" Ace asked the mysterious man. He turned to him and replied, "I am still the same spirit. I just changed into this form in order to teach you the ability. If you are able to learn the ability and perform the technique, that will show me if you are ready or not to know my name and control my power." The spirit took out his zanpakutō and pointed it at Ace. "Take out your zanpakutō." Ace followed the command of the spirit and withdrew his zanpakutō. "Good. Now you are going to need to concentrate very hard. Try and gather as much spiritual energy as you can. Focus it onto the blade of your zanpakutō sustain it and then make a single slash to send it." As he explained what to do he demonstrated it sending a wave of white energy flying forward. Watching his spirit perform the attack was amazing. He gripped his zanpakutō with both hands and concentrated. He started to gather the spiritual energy around and focus it. But he just couldn't seem to gather enough energy. After what seemed like hours and hours of practice, Ace sat down on the snow exhausted. "It's no use," Ace said to the spirit, "I can't gather enough energy to focus on the blade and send it." The spirit stood in front of Ace and thought for a second. Then the spirit said, "Perhaps you just need an objective in order to push yourself further." The spirit took a few steps away and thought for a second again. He turned around and said, "Think of something you dearly want to protect. Something that will drive you to do anything to save." Ace thought about it for a second and then knew what was the thing he wanted to protect the most. He got up and started to concentrate again. The spirit moved out of his way and observed. Ace concentrated and started to gather the spirit energy. His blade began to glow with light. He opened his eyes and let out a shout while slashing the air sending the crescent shaped attack forward. Tired, Ace sat down panting. The spirit walked over to him and gave a nod of approval. Ace smiled and stood up. "Your trial has been passed," the spirit said, "and with that my name is Kōri-shin." Ace listened to the spirit as he told him his name. Ace replied, "Thank you for the technique, Kōri-shin. Thank you for also telling me your name. I should be going soon." Ace said his goodbyes to the spirit and left. The spirit stood as he was left to himself. "The pleasure is all mine, Ace. You'll be needing that technique in the future." The spirit stared into the open space, soon becoming lost in thought.

He became conscious again outside of his inner world. He was still in his room though it became had became night time. He still had his hand on his blade, but there was a firm grip on it this time. He stood up with his blade and went outside. A cool breeze went through his hair. He ran a hand through it and breathed in the air. He had felt like he just gained a stronger connection with his zanpakutō. Then it had hit him. His fatigue had caught up to him and he became extremely exhausted. He went back into his room to sleep for the rest of the night.

The next few months Ace practiced the technique his zanpakutō spirit had showed him. Each practice session the move seemed slightly easier to use. After his sixth month, he was able to use it three times before he even got tired. Eight months passed and he was able to use it like a regular attack. He felt his strength increase with each practice session. He meditated many times in order to further develop his connection with this zanpakutō. It had been 150 years since he had joined squad 13. That's when everything changed for Ace.

He was training again when he had received a mission to go with a few of his squad members and check out a hollow anomaly. He reported to the area where they were all suppose to meet and soon realized he did not recognize any of their faces. He may not have hung around the members of squad 13 but he did remember all of the faces. Even some he did not remember vividly, he would be able to recognize if he saw them. The person who would lead them in the mission walked up to Ace as he entered the room and greeted him. He had told him that these members are the newest ones and that even though they are new, they would be able to handle themselves in the field. He told him that he had requested a more veteran member in case they run into some trouble and sent him to help. Ace, realizing he was sent on this mission to guard new members, sighed and shook his head to represent that he understood. He would want someone to keep him company while venturing out to check out a hollow location with new members too.

The squad departed towards the location of the hollow anomaly. It had been located somewhere in Earth. They reached the location after some time and began investigating the area. It looked clear and everything seemed normal. Ace grew tired and said he was going to search another area. He started to gained quite some distance when he heard a sharp scream. "One of the member is in trouble!" he thought. He ran as fast as he could to the scream. When he got there, the sight was gruesome. Out of the several that were sent, only three stood standing with many wounds. Ace looked around and saw that there were five strong looking hollows. Most of the group's members lie on the floor, broken and bloodied. He saw that the leader of the squad was protecting the other two member. "Five against one is not fair." he said aloud. The hollows turned but Ace had the advantage. Ace shouted the name of the technique he learned from his spirit and slashed his zanpakutō in the air. The wave killed two of the five hollows. The began going after him but Ace was much quicker. He took care of another hollow. Then another. Now it was just him and the last hollow. He began charging at the hollow with high speed but he was not quick enough. The hollow swiped at Ace with his hand and Ace dodged it only to get hit by the other hollows hand. He was sent flying into a tree. The tree broke and Ace laid in a pile of broken tree branches. He pushed himself up with his arm and saw the leader of the group kill the hollow. He looked around and saw many bodies on the ground. The last thing he saw before he passed out was the leader running to him.

He awoke a few days later and he was very sore. He had bandages around his body. He looked around and realized he was in his room. He got up and felt his wound causing him slight pain but stood up anyways. He saw his zanpakutō laying on the floor next to him. He picked it up and began to proceed to the door. His injuries began to act up and the pain that shot through his body was immense. He began to rethink heading outside and proceeded to walk back to his bed. Once lying on the bed again, he started to drift off into his sleep. A few days later, he awoke with his wounds fully healed and his bandages off. He stood up from his bed and then saw his zanpakutō leaning on the side of his bed. He began to stretch out his body to see if he was able to handle a training session. Feeling confident, he grabbed his zanpakutō and headed out to his usual training spot. Along the way, he noticed that it was around noon or so. He made a mental note about the time and continued on. When he got there, he unsheathed his zanpakutō. He gripped it with both hands and said, "Sunōsurasshu!" His blade glowed. He took his zanpakutō and slashed the air with it, sending the wave of spiritual energy that crushed a few trees. "Something is wrong," he thought, "That attack was different." He looked at his zanpakutō and decided to ask his spirit what was wrong. He sat down and began to meditate.

He was transported to his inner world and looked around. He didn't see his spirit, but a figure in the distance. Ace ran towards the figure and asked, "Is that you, Kōri-shin?" The figure turned around and faced him. Ace stopped in his tracks, his eyes growing wide as he realized that it was a hollow that similar to him. The hollow laughed maniacally at him. "Kōri-shin? No. My name is Poki. You probably wonder why I'm here so I'll tell you. I'm here to take over what will soon be mine!" the hollow said and then laughed maniacally again. Ace, slightly less stunned now, asked, "How did you get into my soul? Where's Kōri-shin?" The hollow looked at Ace then said, "If you want answers, come get them from me." and with that, the hollow drew his zanpakutō and lunged for him. Ace, surprised by the attack and the hollow's speed, flash stepped to dodge the attack. The hollow slammed the ground where Ace had just been. Reappearing, Ace saw the hollow strength and knew it would not be an easy fight. "So be it." Ace said and drew his zanpakutō. He lunged at the hollow and made a counter attack. The hollow blocked the attack and pushed Ace off of him. Soon, their blades clashed everywhere as each of them made an attack against each other with immense strength and incredible speed. Ace was focused and determined to beat this hollow no matter what. Soon, Ace made a decisive attack and the hollow became slightly unbalanced and defenseless for a second. Ace took advantage of the small window of opportunity. He brought his blade up and yelled out, "Sunōsurasshu!" and sent the wave of spiritual energy at the hollow. Unable to block the attack, the hollow fired a cero right at the incoming attack. The combination of the energy from Ace's attack and the hollow's cero created a huge explosion. The hollow was sent tumbling backwards. The hollow regained control of his body and looked around. He was not able to see Ace through the smoke. Just there another wave-like attack was sent flying towards the hollow. The hollow took his zanpakutō and blocked it but pushing him backwards. Ace flash stepped at the hollow's back, surprising the hollow. Ace, with cold determination in his eyes, took his zanpakutō and ran the hollow right through. "Dam," the hollow said, "I guess you did beat me." The hollow began to fade away. "Don't think that just because you beat me now will make me disappear," the hollow said, "We are inseparable and because of that, I'll be back for you again. For now, I'll recognize you my leader. But do me a favor and don't die before I come back." As the hollow said his last words, the last part of him faded in the wind. Ace soon heard footsteps behind him and he quickly turned. It was his zanpakutō spirit.

"Kōri-shin! What happened to you?" Ace asked his spirit. The spirit stopped and thought for a second. "The hollow you encountered was an infection," his zanpakutō spirit told him, "He became apart of you when you killed those group of hollows in an attempt to save your comrades. He will forever be apart of you as far as I can tell." Ace was in disbelief after hearing this. The spirit spoke again, "He will surely come and challenge you again if you give him an opening. Train hard and never let your guard down." Ace's disbelief was starting to fade as he understood how he obtained the hollow that is now apart of him. He nodded at the spirit and promised never to let his guard down and train harder than ever. Ace thanked his spirit for his advice and left his inner world.

Ace was conscious again and knew that the soul society was no place for him. He read some books about his situation and he knew people like him were called vizards. He also heard of a society that protected vizards. He decided it was time for him to leave the soul society. He headed back to his room and prepared to leave when a squad member ran into him. The squad member apologized and asked him if he heard news. Ace said no and the squad member told him that someone had left two weeks earlier. Hearing this made Ace become intrigued and asked who it had been. The member told him it was someone names Axel Chillick and then realized he was late and had to go. The squad member left Ace alone to his thoughts. As thought swirled around his head on why Axel had left, one kept on standing out. Ace snapped out of his daze and realized the only way to find out the reasons behind Axel leaving, was to go out and ask him himself. Taking a few things, Ace left his shinigami life and began his new life as a vizard. Over 100 years have passed since he left the soul society.

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Ace Marx [APPROVED 4-2] Image4111-1

General Skills
  • Durability: Beginner
  • General Speed: Adept
  • Strength: Beginner
  • Weapon Skill: Beginner



Racial Skills
  • Hoho: Beginner
  • Cero/Bala/Kidō: Beginner
  • Zanjutsu: Adept
  • Hakuda: Beginner



Racial Skills
  • Power Augmentation Adept
  • Cero: Beginner
  • Mask Protection:: Beginner
  • Hollow Control: Beginner



Racial Skills
  • Acid Skill: Beginner
  • Garganta : Beginner
  • Cero/Bala: Beginner
  • Regeneration: Adept



Will Skills
  • Willpower/Determination: Beginner
  • Mental Deduction: Adept
  • Pain Endurance: Beginner
  • Focus: Adept






»LOOKING FOR SOMEONE«


Last edited by Pociden on Mon Aug 25, 2014 12:21 am; edited 17 times in total
Imakuran
Imakuran
Seasoned Member
Joined : 2012-10-02
Posts : 1018
Age : 84

Member Info
Platinum Points:
Ace Marx [APPROVED 4-2] Left_bar_bleue227620/999999Ace Marx [APPROVED 4-2] Empty_bar_bleue  (227620/999999)
Tiers:

Ace Marx [APPROVED 4-2] Empty Re: Ace Marx [APPROVED 4-2]

Wed Nov 20, 2013 1:30 am
Application Checklist
  • Name [X]
  • Appropriate Age [X]
  • Gender [X]
  • Appearance Present [X]
  • Appearance Described in Appropriate Length OR Picture is Visible [X]
  • Appearance is Not Claimed [X]
  • 10 sentences for personality [X]
  • History is of appropriate length [X]
  • Powers are not Godmod/Overpowered [O]
  • Powers are described reasonably enough [O]
  • Application/RP Sample is not in First Person [X]
  • Skills are not filled in (Omit if a Hollow)[X]
  • RP Sample Present (Omit if this is not the first character) [X]
  • RP Sample is 10 sentences [X]


Will Skills
  • Willpower/Determination:
  • Mental Deduction:
  • Pain Endurance:
  • Focus:


Comments/Notes:

Alright, well, first off, you do not have access to your shikai and bankai abilities, shikai requires mod permission for new Vizoreds and Bankai requires an admin, from my understanding you have permission for neither of those things. If that changes I'll be happy to rectify this portion but until then, please put a strike through your shikai, your bankai, and the Splitting Sunōsurasshu. We'll proceed to iron out the issues with the Zanpakutō itself for when you do eventually earn them.

Snow Storm: Ace is able to control the temperature around him. He can drop is well below zero degrees. Ace can also make the place snow if he is able to drop the temperature that far. This drop in temperature makes anyone in the area have slower reactions. Unless the person is immune to temperature dropping below freezing point, they will find fighting in the area extremely difficult. Ace does not obtain any disadvantages in dropping the temperature though. On the contrary, his abilities are stronger. Not only that, but his strength and speed are increased due to his affinity for the below freezing temperatures.
Ok, usually we hate icky math and its absolutes and what not, and if you used "below freezing" instead of "below 0 degrees" then it'd be fine. But as it is currently worded, this ability could drop the temperature below 0 degrees kelvin, which means anything in the area of effect of this ability...and probably everything within the nearby area of the area of effect of this ability is dead, probably twice. So please change that to below freezing on the first line there.

Icy Blood: Ace's blood begins to change instantaneously once using bankai. His blood changes composition and turns to ice. Due to his icy blood, he is able to take massive hits that would otherwise wound him badly. Also, He does not suffer any movement restriction. The adrenaline that the body produces is used much more effectively. Thus, Ace is able to not suffer from fatigue as quickly as most people would and will be able to continue a fight longer than most can.
How about we change "Changes composition and turns to ice" to something fancy like, liquid nitrogen or grape slushy or something. Turning to ice would effectively make you a Popsicle and just as rigid, so while his lady friends might like it, it makes him wholly useless against things that want to punch him.

Storm of chilling death: Once enough reiatsu has been gathered, Ace can summon large black clouds that cover an area the size of a town. The clouds release booming thunder and then the attacks begin. Large shards of ice are rained upon the area. The shards are the size of a cutting knife. Multitudes upon multitudes are produced from the sky. Ace is able to control the ice in order to hit his target. Upon getting hit, the shards will turn liquid, coating whatever it hit, and then quickly freeze. After 10 shards have hit his target, the target will freeze in a block of ice and Ace's zanpakutō begins to glow. Ace is able to slice through the ice with ease, splitting the ice in half along with his opponent also.
There needs to be some sort of limitation going in to this ability here, we generally frown on being able to create storms, especially ones raining solid objects, for no build up and for the indefinite amount of time that this one currently affords. There needs to be a noticeable build up time for the storm to take form(a post or two, probably two) and a finite amount of active time(probably 5 or so posts).

Ice clones: Ace shatters his ice chain completely and turns them into 5 shards. When the chain shatters, it creates a mist that temporarily hides him. Upon having the mist recede, Ace uses the shards to create 5 clones right next to him that look exactly like him, all with the same looking zanpakutō that Ace has. The clones have his strength, speed, and toughness. They have the same spiritual pressure making it very difficult to detect which one is the real one. They attack separately from each other and Ace. The clones can take damage and can be killed. Once all 5 have been killed, they turn back into shards to form the ice chain again.
Same deal again, there's no limitation here, it is effectively an endless stream of chilly manservants and that's an issue. There needs to be a cooldown time from when your clone squad is destroyed to when you're able to conjure them again. You're looking at the 4-5 post mark for that.

Fix these issues and we'll work out the tier then.

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Pociden
Pociden
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Wed Nov 20, 2013 5:16 pm
Made the changes.
Imakuran
Imakuran
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Wed Nov 20, 2013 5:33 pm
Application Checklist
  • Name [X]
  • Appropriate Age [X]
  • Gender [X]
  • Appearance Present [X]
  • Appearance Described in Appropriate Length OR Picture is Visible [X]
  • Appearance is Not Claimed [X]
  • 10 sentences for personality [X]
  • History is of appropriate length [X]
  • Powers are not Godmod/Overpowered [X]
  • Powers are described reasonably enough [X]
  • Application/RP Sample is not in First Person [X]
  • Skills are not filled in (Omit if a Hollow)[X]
  • RP Sample Present (Omit if this is not the first character) [X]
  • RP Sample is 10 sentences [X]


Will Skills
  • Willpower/Determination: Beginner
  • Mental Deduction: Adept
  • Pain Endurance: Beginner
  • Focus: Adept


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CPKallday
CPKallday
The KFC of PH
The KFC of PH
OTM
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Sat Apr 05, 2014 2:15 am
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Ace Marx [APPROVED 4-2] Sbb1I7e
Kakeru
Kakeru
Nise no Eiyū
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Tue Aug 19, 2014 10:30 pm
Unarchived by Request.


Ace Marx [APPROVED 4-2] GFHHFG_zpsj1vrrfxz
Pociden
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Mon Aug 25, 2014 12:20 am
4-2 upgrade Here
Pockeh
Pockeh
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Sun Sep 28, 2014 4:21 pm
Moving to inactive characters.


I envy because of the heart.
I glutton because of the heart.
I covet because of the heart.
I am prideful because of the heart.
I sloth because of the heart.
I rage because of the heart.
Because of the heart...
I lust for everything about you.


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Mon Mar 23, 2015 5:29 pm

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