Musing Over Thoughts

Over the past few years on PH, I'm amazed at how far I've come as a writer, editor and creator. There have been definite rough patches and points where I didn't think I'd go on, but I'm amazed this place has grown to what it has today. Never in my wildest imagination would I believe things would have turned out like this when I made PH.

The site is very flexible and durable in my mind, as it's survived and endured it's own destruction many times before and has come back stronger each time or re-born in some way or form; no matter how long it took for it to get back on it's feet. As I don't think many other sites could have endured the struggles PH has over the years and still consider themselves active or alive; as our current event shows we are thrusting ourselves back to life.

And as the founder of the place, it just seems rather...odd...yet progressive to see it morph over the years; see all the strings of this spider-web of ideals mesh together and watch it grow. As there are some things from my prospective of the site that other members, OR EVEN STAFF, will ever understand or know; because as the hands of time change, how the current foundation of PH is will be their origina memory and starting point to how people remember this place.

Specifically being that this site has expanded to the point where it takes quite awhile to read through all the material, understand the lore of this place, the many backstories and generations of people that have come through PH's doors. And the closet staff member I have at the moment that can come close to really understanding that, in terms of how long they've been here, is Raiki; which is laughable when I thought he'd be one of the firs to go many years ago.

Feels like my mind is heavily in the past at the moment, as now I'm really remembering the old days of PH. Since alot of the people from back then are pretty much gone @ the PH Generations thread. Only ones from my time left are Moose/Rav, oddly enough, since I hated their guts back then.

Just seems rather hollow in some aspects looking back on all the people that have came and gone; especially Chinchuro since she was one of the first, alongside Moose, to really have faith in my capacities to lead after I became admin on CoL; but later decided to move away from it after it began too rigid and strict.

Which is why I'm glad we both made that move, as if it wasn't for me and her plotting, I don't think any of us would be speaking at the moment and it REALLY bums me out that she isn't here at the moment to see how much things have grown since I inherited Untold Stories from her and became Head Admin; which lead to US2 being made. Which is why I still carry that title from US2/US1, because it reminds me of when I was finally given my chance to lead by her and ascending to a point where I could finally manage my own site.

Just sharing some very sentimental thoughts as everything just feels...out of touch for some reason now reflecting back on all of this. And it's just really sinking in the depth, connections and time put into this place....it's a humbling, yet depressive feeling. One to put things in prospective nearly.

Melancholy would be the best word.