Keter Noein.

-revision in progress-

-revision in progress-

I understand I'm not supposed to fill this in, so here it is from the template.



NOTE: Ziamichi's will have three to four skill sheets possibly. One for general skills, one for racial skills, one for the host's skill and possibly one for the spirit's skills if they are a different race.

Click here for skill sheet
Ziamichi General

» Ziamichi Host Class: (Ranging from E to the weakest and A to the strongest; With S being a special class of Ziamichi's. Don't do anything to this section, as staff will determine how strong your Ziamichi Class is from tier once approved. And yes, the Host can sometimes be stronger then the spirit.)

» Ziamichi Spirit Class: (Ranging from E to the weakest and A to the strongest; With S being a special class of Ziamichi's. Don't do anything to this section, as staff will determine how strong your Ziamichi Class is from tier once approved.)

Skills:
0 Tier is allowed 1 Master, 2 Advanced for each section
1 Tier is allowed 2 Advanced for each section
2 Tier is allowed 1 Advanced, 2 Adept for each section
3 Tier is allowed 1 Adept for each section
4 Tier and below only get beginner.

General Skills For Host

• Durability: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner
  
• General Speed: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner
  
• Strength: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner
  
• Weapon Skill: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner
  

Ziamichi Skills For Host

• Skill Of Ziamichi Powers: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner
  
• Control Over Spirit: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner
  
• Seal Strength: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner
  
• Sync-Rate: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner
  

Will Skills For Host

• Willpower/Determination: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner
  
• Mental Deduction: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner
  
• Pain Endurance: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner
  
• Focus: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner
  

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General Skills For Spirit

• Durability: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner
  
• General Speed: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner
  
• Strength: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner
  
• Weapon Skill: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner
  

Ziamichi Skills For Spirit

• Skill Of Ziamichi Powers: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner
  
• Control Over Spirit: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner
  
• Seal Strength: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner
  
• Sync-Rate: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner
  

Will Skills For Spirit

• Willpower/Determination: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner
  
• Mental Deduction: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner
  
• Pain Endurance: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner
  
• Focus: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner
  

Keter wrote:» Azothic Core
Keter possesses a core crafted from Azoth, a substance thought in alchemy to be a sort of universal constant, a representation of the limitless potential of God's creation of a limited cosmos. The Azothic core keeps Keter alive and provides his body with energy. The core is nestled within his chest, surrounded by arcane machines with the visage of a bright red flame. Though Keter can be killed, the flame itself can never be extinguished.

You can't just have a connection to a literal GOD just like that. Please remove this or change the origins of it, and if you keep it explain how or why it works in detail as well as what it does for your character, as this is too ambiguous.

Keter wrote:» Electrical Energy Absorbation
Due to Keter being a being comprised of machinery (arcane mechanisations though they may be), he can absorb a degree of electricity. Roughly the electrical energy equivalent to the amount of energy produced by a moderately sized explosive.

Keter wrote:» Perfect Genetics
Keter is based on a theoretical perfect human genetic template, and as such, his body is in peak physical condition. He can be considered, at all times and without aid, to be as fast, as strong and as physically capable as the top of human society. His stamina, strength, agility, reflexes, senses, and speed are well beyond that which would be expected of Olympic competitors in the field in which they apply.

...Huh? He's got both perfect human genetics but his being is made out of machines? Those are... contradictory. Please choose one and stick with it.

Keter wrote:» Synchronicity Highway
Keter has the uncanny ability to be in the right place at the right time (this can be considered to be the difference between player characters and non-player characters).

Please... Explain how or why this works...

Keter wrote: Keter does not have to use his willpower to suppress them because they suppress one another through in-fighting.

You should mention how this could cause unexpected accidents to occur from time to time FROM the perpetual conflict. After all, it is imperfect.

Keter wrote:They are anchored to their flesh (Keter's flesh) and as such, if they are destroyed or exorcised, in time the Azoth will call them back from whatever eternity they wind up in.

Then as soon as the flesh is destroyed they leave him, right? Since you can't grow back what you don't have anything left of to grow from.

Keter wrote:» Name
The Lady of Avalon

If you mean a specific, or whatever the hero's actual name is, since there ARE some heroic spirits on the site who may not appreciate having a piece of their flesh randomly stolen.

Secondly... Why the heck would this spirit rip out her eye to be visited? There's not much detail as to the true power of the Lady or why she is still alive in 1806, or how the area had not been overcome by Britain at that point, given how it was in full-blown Empire at that state.

Keter wrote:Though advanced stealth (higher tier than Keter's own tier) cannot be detected in this way.

What exactly is "Advanced Stealth?"

Keter wrote:Shadow of Avalon: Unmake the World

No.

Keter wrote:Song of the Ancients -

How is it that something that doesn't know about 'technology' is able to adversely affect it? Technology is two things: The tool and the ability to use it. That literally reads that if my character had a sword, that he'd be worse at using a sword, even if it were a magic sword. Please explain this in better detail, keeping those points in mind.

Keter wrote:» The Graveyard

You need to decide how many Hero's Radiance and Infinite Radiance may be active at one time, and how long it takes to switch one after he's maxed out his limit.


All in all, seems like an interesting, mostly well made character. There are just some spots that are far too ambiguous that you need to go over. He also slightly seems like a Gary Stu... "Perfect Human Genetics", for example... Also, in your history you don't explain where the Core of Azoth, the fitting piece of your entire character, comes from or how it was obtained. So yeah... That's mostly everything.

Oh, one last thing. Before you can use a new ghost within a thread, you need to get it checked out and approved, before, not after, you use it. You should make a note of that under the Graveyard Section.

moving to old wip due to 2 weeks passing.