*sighs*

I'm not sure how to word this, exactly.

It's been... difficult.. it really has. The past month or so has been a fucking roller-coaster, and I'm having trouble dealing with it all at once.

Between the en-masse shutdown of PH, to the birth of DS, to the rebirth of PH and the current reconstruction/soft reset... So much has happened in the past few weeks, it's unreal.

It's hurt my brain, it's hurt my heart, and it's hurt my morale. I've tried to subvert my ever-busy schedule to be here, or DS, trying to aid in the rebuilding process, trying to assist my family and salvage what was left of that old feeling..

But yesterday I realized.. that feeling is gone.

No longer is this form of roleplay a fun and interesting escape.. No longer is it the epitome of metaphorical freedom that I believed it to be.. It's stressful to think about..

And I'm terrified.. I'm absolutely fucking mortified of another crash, or another move, or another big fight, or something similar...

I just can't.. between my personal life and the site, I can't muster up the energy to actively participate. It feels like a chore, like it's something that's expected of me at this point, and I feel like I've lost my freedom somewhere in the mix...

Not only has the bleach universe lost a majority of its appeal to me, the very idea of many projects/people that i've had to deal and struggle with just to get my shit finished is enough to give me an ulcer..

I'm not honestly sure what all this means, but... All I can say is it might be for the best if I start placing my productivity and eagerness to work in venues that don't fry my brain..

This isn't to say that I am any less dedicated to those who have asked me to aid them. If you have any other projects, feel free to give me a call if you need/want my help. However, Platinum Hearts has been.. tainted to me somehow.. I don't feel home anymore.. I feel like I'm at work.. and that goes against the very reason why I took up RP in the first place..

I'm terribly sorry, but I can't guarantee you'll see very much of me around the site from this point.. Maybe on xat, but.. no telling..

I love all of you SO damn much... You're still my family...

But it's hard calling PH my home anymore.. i'm not sure why...

We'll see where the wind takes me.... I haven't made an official decision yet.. just giving you guys a heads up...

~Condesce