Devil Blood [Saiko/Ari]

Saiko Mori… now that she was thinking about it, that name rang a bell. A poor woman Ari heard something of, and part of Ari was now sorely wishing she had met Saiko long before now. Even if Ari had no real pull, and possibly had little capability to change anything… she would have liked to try and make life better for Saiko. And possibly even help her get away.

However, as Saiko turned to what Ari spoke of, saying how she almost sounded fond of the power she had obtained, Arianda couldn’t help but shrug and sigh. Perhaps it was just a fantastical love of what Arianda found Mana to be; or it could possibly be a side effect of near addiction.

“Do you know some of the worst properties of any demon essence? The eventuality of possibly becoming addicted… Something I constantly deny to myself, for I haven’t had any of Mana’s blood in a year, maybe more…”

The demon shivered gently, lightly hunching over as if the weight of her past was turning into a palpable force pushing down on her shoulders. It was terrifying to think of, how close she likely was to being addicted… and it was also terrifying to think of how close she had been to breaking; to losing her sliver of sanity.

“I’m sure you know what it’s like that damning that numbing pain and fear… Perhaps I am fond of the idealized Mana in my head, and not of the person herself; no matter how much she has improved thanks to my late daughter. It doesn’t change the undeniable HELL I have lived through… thanks to her. And I know you feel the same… How sanity fades, how you know one day, all you will be is a weapon: a mindless weapon. Torn… Shattered. Broken”

Arianda couldn’t help it, she quietly sank to her knees, some slight shivers rocking her form as she almost shrank in on herself. Obviously, too obviously, she had been bottling this up recently, bottling up the pain, the trauma, and all the honest issues that lay trapped in the deepest parts of her consciousness. As she sat there, shivering, silent tears escaping her eyes, the demon shifted to her true form without meaning to; her tail wrapped tightly around her waist. However, the demon soon shook her head, basically stabbed herself in the arm with her nails, and took a very deep breath, her now blue eyes training on Saiko fully once again.

“I very well may be a broken woman, Saiko. Trying to do what I can to piece myself back together. And, as far as Mana goes, I do not know what my relationship is to her or to even myself. It is so confused, shattered, and muddled by the past. And my purpose here? To live and recover. I want a family, I want to find my mothers and bring them home, and I want to feel an ounce of wholeness again. Perhaps I am asking too much, but I am not a long lived being for nothing…”

Arianda let out a shaky sigh, her shivers having long since calmed, but the demon refused to stand; quietly afraid her legs would now no longer hold up her body. She looked towards Saiko again, realizing to herself the shift in her form; but she cared not. Better to show her true self than a facade. And she need not know Saiko’s trauma… it was written clear as day in the way she spoke Mana’s name; and the way her emotions swirled and torrented like a hurricane much like Arianda’s.

“That is me, Saiko; that is Arianda Vael, The Fallen ‘Angel’.”

Tears were likely quick to fall from Arianda's eyes the way she was going. She was letting out all the pent up trauma, emotion, and pain in one savage release. Even as the tears of blood from her arm stopped flowing, the tears of her eyes refused to fall. Arianda wouldn't let herself cry, not right now. Not while she listened to Saiko speak of what she could have done, what she didn't do, and how things could have been. She spoke of how, if she had been stronger, she could have saved so many people; so many more lives would not have been lost to her. Frankly speaking, the same could be quite true of Arianda herself. She had killed, organized, imprisoned, and done far more to cause more than enough problems as an Archduchess herself. However, Arianda could only sit there and wallow in the how she could break her addiction to Mana; how she could free herself and live as herself instead of a being tied to Mana so intrinsically that her entire being couldn't help but smell like her at times.

Then, Saiko drew close to Ari, and the demon was shaken to reality by the strong hands that drew the demon up to her feet; likely keeping a tight hold on Ari despite bringing Ari to her weak kneed legs. The demon stared into Saiko's eyes with her own blue eyes, Saiko's words being chiseled into her brain as she listened to them; to stand up and start making the world a better place. The demon sniffled softly, at her own stupidity of not seeing things a bit more clearly, of only concerning herself with hiding away and trying... trying to be free of something without any effort to be free of it. After Saiko spoke, the demon reached up and rubbed her right eye with a palm, sniffing a tiny bit as she continued to stare at Saiko.

"C-C-Could you help me, Saiko? I'm honestly alone in this, and I could use all the help I could get. Ya don't have to hold my hand, but knowing I have someone I can count on in this crazy ass world would be... it would mean more to me than words could ever describe. Friend, sister, whatever... I don't want to wallow in misery of the terror I have endured at Mana's hands; or in the sleepless nights remembering what I cannot escape in my dreams. I don't wanna be alone anymore..."

In those moments after speaking, Arianda broke down, her arms wrapping around Saiko's waist in reckless abandon as the demon clung to Saiko like she was an anchor to reality; like she was the key Arianda needed this entire time. And the demon wept, letting out emotions that she had bottled up for the past weeks, months, possibly even years; letting it all flow out in a release only characterized by the lamentation and freedom it brought. It wasn't a cure, far from it. But, it was a step forward into the light, a step towards everything that could start to help Arianda recover from the hell she had endured for years. The pain that even she could no longer bear thanks to the ceaseless flow that burned her to the very core of her being. The trauma, the guilt, blood, pain, and unholy suffering she had been brought to bear... She would shatter it.

Arianda's tears continued to flow long after her voice had ceased voicing her lamentations and pain; which Saiko could likely be glad for. Albeit, Arianda didn't let go of Saiko quite yet. Right now, this was exactly what she needed. A person to hug, and an anchor to cling to while the storm tore through. Eventually, the demon's hands balled into fists against Saiko's back; her face burying further into the woman's shoulder. However, the words she spoke were clear; strong.

"I was a coward in the past, Saiko. I ran from everything, I ran from Mana, I ran from the War, and I ran from myself. You're right... I need to fight, I need to struggle against the curse that has been laid upon me since the day I received that blasted Seal of Eris; ever since Mana started treating me like a glorified chew toy. But I still want your help... I know I can't do it alone. I just need your help to get a kick in the right direction. After that... I think I can manage... I just need someone to show me how to fight again. This wolf needs her fangs sharpened..."

Arianda was quite glad that Saiko came this day, even if they didn’t know each other for real. Perhaps that familiarity of blood is what caused Arianda to snap so easily and let it all out on a woman she barely knew. Then again, people you don’t know can be your greatest critics; because they can’t have your feelings in mind as they have no idea what could hurt or offend. Perhaps this was why Arianda fell upon Saiko as if they knew each other far better than they did.

As Arianda was reduced to only silent tears, using magic of a similar tone to clear any snot because gross, the demon listened to Saiko speak. Everything she said made complete sense, and it all pointed to, once more, that Ari had indeed been a coward as of late. She was running, running from everything that she had done, that had happened to her; instead of facing it head on. A small sniffle escaped her as Saiko’s speech drew to a close; and then her final statement struck Ari like a slap.

It was blunt. Blunt and true. Everything ceased. Ari’s silent heaving, the steady flow of tears, and even the gentle flow of blood down her arm; it all ceased in a sudden moment of clarity as the demon stiffened very very noticeably. She gave Saiko a brief, tightened hug before she let the woman go, turned away to wipe her tears, clean off her face and arm, and then return her gaze to Saiko. Her eyes were still puffy, a little red from her crying, but there was no way to deny the fire in Ari’s eyes. She has just remembered a saying of the human’s as well. ‘Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he will eat for the rest of his life’. The demon gave Saiko a small bow of appreciation, and a small smile despite the hard fire that now seemed to be ablaze in Ari’s blue eyes.

“I’m sorry for embracing you so suddenly, Saiko. I rely on physical comfort when everything else seems to fail me. But that is no excuse for embracing someone who may not be comfortable with that, and I have to ask your forgiveness. But… I will fight, Saiko. I’ve long accepted I won’t be free of my terror… but I can’t let it control me. I will be better. Much better than I could have ever been…”

The demon let out a gentle sigh, her gaze falling to the mountainous landscape around them, and rose to the sky above. This world… she loved it so much, much more than she could ever admit. It was confusing, and horrible, but it was still beautiful; and had been her true home for the better part of 150 years. This was her home, like Saiko said, she had left it all behind. Maybe she could help the “good” orgs of the world, so what good she could while she had the chance; make up for her wrongdoings. Luckily, she had the right woman directly in front of her to give her a push in the right direction. Not to mention, Arianda did know a woman in the Vandenreich as well… as well as one other.

After a silence in which Ari’s eyes barely fell on Saiko again, the demon finally looked towards Saiko; locking eyes with the hybrid before her. It struck Ari that she had yet to formally ask Saiko for her help. And, what better teacher than someone who had already started upon this path of fighting the curse.

“It will take time for me to grow a spine, Saiko. But I need a good teacher to give me a shove in the right direction. Will you please help me, Saiko? Teach me. I may not need to ask formally, but I want to. I’ll be fine on my own, after a bit. Besides, I have a few friends here and there I can depend on that might help me talk to the right people; and not get killed in the process… no matter how I may or may not deserve it.”

Arianda smiled warmly and then once more turned her gaze up to the sky, picturing the first time she saw a real dragon when she was a young girl. How her Mama Zayla had taught her so many things she would do when she would grow up; the gifts she would receive when she was a woman and not a girl no longer. She may no longer receive those gifts, and certainly not right now, but it was time to grow up instead of cowering in the shadows like a scared little girl.

“Every little girl needs to grow up eventually…”