Re: Autumn Chatters [Aina/Verdada]

Sun Oct 30, 2022 2:38 pm

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SIMPLY AINA

Enter Aina's Post

Posting Music:
https://open.spotify.com/track/23lMeIr8TBkEpHubQuhqPE

Location: Turin, Italy

"I'd like to apologize, but I think actions mean more. So I believe going forward, I'll try to keep you in the loop with what is going on in my life to avoid these things."

Indeed, Aina liked to people please, but she figured just following through on her words would be the best course of action when it came to getting herself worked up over these ideas.

"So far in this life, I've lived just doing my own thing, so I'm not very good with working with others regarding my goals. It might be something I need to work on."

With a roll of her shoulders, she gave a defeated sigh before she patted Verdada's head and saw the exhaustion and frustration on her face. So, after taking a moment to think, she just kept engaging.

"You seem stressed and tired, but please don't take it out on me anymore. I'm soft, but even I have my limits."

And upon saying those words, Aina grabbed Verdada's hand at that moment before she had the chance to flick her ear. Shaking her head, she'd continue.

"See? I have much to learn from you, but I don't want to be treated like a child. That's not what I'm looking for. You have much knowledge to share, but please do not belittle me."

Gently letting go, Aina had an exhale of breath escape her breath before adding on.

"As I truly don't feel like crying anymore. I wanted to cry because you scared me, and I was terrified of my actions or thoughts turning you away from me, but when you accepted me and softened up, I didn't want to have any more tears. I know repressing your emotions causes you to lash out and why I'm being direct with how you are treating me right now."

Standing firm in her stance, the woman nodded before pausing to think for herself and continue.

"The only thing I feel right now is just...stupid. It's not your fault or anything, but I wouldn't say I like the feeling of feeling like I have no intelligence around you. It makes me want to reflect, retreat in myself and just study or meditate until I can better myself."

And that much was confirmed as the woman felt she couldn't grasp anything in this life. Not fighting, not the knowledge Algos had or the ability to do anything of value. It was somewhat frustrating, and being treated like a child gradually irritated the woman, as if she couldn't figure out how to express what was going on in her head. But, on the other hand, the leftover knowledge from Algos made the woman's mind akin to a young adult between the ages of 18-21, so she wasn't some helpless child in her eyes, and being seen as a lost or hurt puppy wasn't what she wanted.

Those thoughts were put on hold when Verdada mentioned the whole thing about her chest and the joking around it. Blinking for a moment, Aina responded.

"I may be shy and flustered easily, but I was just joking. I'm not incompetent to believe you'd die from something like that. Am I really that stupid to you?"

A bit in disbelief, the woman looked at Verdada for a moment as they went back into the house, her head canted to the side.

"And what conversations are we supposed to have...?"

Code By:
[THEFROST]

Wed Nov 02, 2022 4:48 pm

verdada - Autumn Chatters [Aina/Verdada] - Page 3 HEADER_82-16

Verdada sighed just a little at that and shook her head. "You just need to act with a little more information, Aina. You weren't born that long ago. You're like a child. And yea, I know you don't wanna hear that. But you have very little to work with. I was born from a fairly functional person and was connected to a fairly smart, albeit shitty woman. You however? All you have to work with are Algos's memories. And if we're BOTH being honest, I wouldn't call those the memories of an adult. She solved all of her problems with force and power. She was born different, and was royalty. Every tool SHE had, every memory you inherited, however briefly? They're not gonna help you at all with how to live your life. For one, she made terrible decisions, and for two, she had a lot of fucked up shit going on in her life. I think it's fair to say that she provided pretty much nothing in terms of how to handle problems. And yea, you're physically an adult. But you lack the social skills and decision-making experience that just about every other actual adult has." She pointed out calmly enough.

"I know this probably sucks to have to hear. But you just flat out don't have the experience or ability to make major decisions. Which ...pretty much puts you in the same boat as a child. The only benefit is that you learn a lot faster than a kid. But that'll ONLY be the case if you can understand your shortcomings and learn from them." She pointed out. Ther really wasn't any GOOD way to break it, so she was just direct. Aina had TWICE either planned to or already done things that could have or would have gotten her killed. Verdada was very aware that Aina didn't seem to like this idea of lacking independence. But she would rather Aina be upset than dead.

"So for now, it's tough titties for you. I'm gonna treat you like a kid until I feel it's safe to do otherwise. Not because I think you're stupid, but because I know you're not ready." She pointed out, continuing to walk back to her apartment, and assuming Aina didn't go throwing another fit, the pair would soon make it inside and open the door for Aina to head inside.

Wed Nov 02, 2022 5:01 pm

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SIMPLY AINA

Enter Aina's Post

Posting Music:
https://open.spotify.com/track/23lMeIr8TBkEpHubQuhqPE

Location: Turin, Italy

There was a look of defeat, acceptance and lament across the face of Aina when she heard the words of Verdada. It was true, she had a shitty input from the get-go. Algos's memories were tainted with nothing but poison and they wouldn't be of any use in this life. In fact, a lot of those memories were more or less dim to the woman at this point as if it were a dream that you forget when waking up. The more she unlocked the comptents of her soul and personality, the less influence Algos had and she had to become her own woman to stand above the darkness which followed that demon.

Even if Aina felt inferior at the moment, she would have to just tough it out at the moment to avoid the same fate as Algos.

To that sentiment, Aina held her head down for a moment as she truly didn't want to make the same mistakes that devil would have. So, after biting her lip, she just came to a place of trying to sit aside her irritation and pride before speaking:

"This sucks, but I will get through it if you are willing to help me."

It was a lot to soak in for Aina after everything the hollow said got processed by her mind, so there wasn't much to say to it as she tried to come to grips with the circumstance and it caused her voice to sound distant even IF she was on board with the idea. Still, she didn't want to be treated like a child in spite of the lack of experience. So, her plum gaze lingered on Verdada as they entered inside and she spoke:

"I get it, you know more than me, but can we at least treat it like student and master? It just...feels humiliating."

Code By:
[THEFROST]

Wed Nov 02, 2022 5:17 pm

Verdada was, if nothing else, pleased that Verdada was taking this a little better. However, she did raise a brow slightly at the girl's request, furrowing her brows a bit before shaking her head. "Hon, I'm not going to treat you like an ACTUAL child. I'm just going to be keeping a closer eye on you. See? I'm not insisting you hold my hand while we walk or nothing. You're not stupid, you just have a lot to learn." She promptly corrected the woman. She paused, rubbing her chin as she found a spot to sit and sighed.

"Though, on that subject. About that conversation I mentioned earlier. As I said before, you LOOK like an adult. Adn for the ...most part." More like 50/50 but she could tell Aina was kinda not happy about that. "You ARe an adult. But there's.... a subject I wanted to breach. Especially with your .... kinda laid back, spacey attitude. That's the kinda carefree, gentle attitude that attracts the attention of guys and gals. The sweater puppies don't help either. Which is why I wanna ask you what you know about sex and shit. And relationships in general. The kinda memories I ....presume perobably aren't the most normal that you've inherited. So I wanna ...hear what you got cookin in your noggin, and we'll go from there. I know, this isn't a conversation you really wanna have. Let alone with me. But the last thing we need is some prettyboy with a hero complex breaking your heart or getting you pregnant. So bear with me."

Yea this was gonna be awkward. But it was also necessary. The only thing she REMEMBERED about the Asthavon demon family ....well.....it wasn't great. To put it simply. So as painful as topic as this was. She had to make sure Aina knew the general ...gist of things.

Thu Nov 03, 2022 4:14 pm

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SIMPLY AINA

Enter Aina's Post

Posting Music:
https://open.spotify.com/track/23lMeIr8TBkEpHubQuhqPE

Location: Turin, Italy

Well, that was a relief. Hearing Verdada say that she wasn't going to treat Aina like an actual child was what she needed to hear to try and get herself together mentally. Right now, the brain of Aina felt scrambled as it was figuring out which aspects of herself to focus on and which would be better to ditch to avoid becoming like her former incarnation and not get herself killed in this life.

"That's good to hear you say that since I wanted someone to believe in me. It's hard trying to figure out what I should be and how to conduct myself in this new life."

Although her voice was still shaky and sounded off, it was returning to normal as she felt some confidence come back from the acceptance she perceived Verdada to have for her.

...

There was no pause for Aina, it seems. She just stared off into space when the concept of sex, her body, and the attitude she carries came up. There wasn't a look of embarrassment as much as she seemed caught off guard by that statement.

"...excuse me?"

A look of brief disbelief washed over the woman's face before she continued.

"I don't wanna go into what I DID recall of Algos, but I'm aware of how sex should and shouldn't work."

Soon after speaking, a grimace appeared on Aina's face as if she had hurt herself or remembered something awful.

"It's safe to say that even if I'm immature in my current state, my grasp on relationships and sex...is leagues better than Algos."

Shaking her head, Aina did not want to try and even recall those memories since they were becoming fainter and fainter. But then, as if it were a distant nightmare, she woke up from. So, she nodded.

"I'll be careful with that since, to be truthful, it hasn't crossed my mind too much since I'm still trying to discern what I even want from a partner."

Code By:
[THEFROST]

Thu Nov 03, 2022 4:54 pm

verdada - Autumn Chatters [Aina/Verdada] - Page 3 HEADER_96-01

Yea she kinda expected that face from Aina. Jesus she really WAS like a fuckin kid. Or were all humans this squirmy about the subject? She thought back through Santa's own memories. Not exactly the sterling example of a reasonable sexual history, but well, it was still something the woman was familiar with.

"Right, well unfortunately 'better than algos' is a pretty poor metric to be going by. I assume you know how ......wait no...Algos was a demon....uh... hm. Well this might be longer or shorter than intended. But yea, we're doin this like a bandaid. Quick to get it over with." She noted before peeling a dry-erase marker from her breast pocket and making her way over to one of the couches and pulling out a white board.

"So. We're gonna go through the basic steps of how HUMANS do this shit. At least according to the internet and some friends I talked to. I'm not gonna pretend this is gonna be fun for either of us. Or even really that interesting. So just buckle up, and we can order pizza for dinner, alright girly?"

Fri Nov 04, 2022 3:36 pm

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SIMPLY AINA

Enter Aina's Post

Posting Music:
https://open.spotify.com/track/23lMeIr8TBkEpHubQuhqPE

Location: Turin, Italy

There was a raise of the eyebrow given by Aina as Verdada seemed way more into this than she was. At this point, her knowledge of sex was more dry and educational than anything else. So she was familiar with how humans had sex through textbook knowledge and browsing the filthy content available on the far reaches of the web. Still, she hadn't had any good intimate experiences in this life so far. And until she felt comfortable with that, Aina wasn't in a rush to let anyone do that.

She still seemed stiff on the subject, as her face reflected a sense of uneasiness, but after a while, she sighed and accepted the situation. What else could she do?

"No, you will have to get me a drink rather than a pizza. It seems like this is going to be a long night for the two of us"

She was adamant about that as it was clear this conversation was something the both of them needed to have, and it was like pulling teeth. And when you pull teeth, sometimes you need something to numb the pain.

Anyway, it was time to spit it out and stop dancing around the issues, even if she didn't want to express her feelings on that subject at the moment.

"I know how sex works, but I can't say I've had any encounters to give me experience. Between what I've seen on the web, the memories of Algos I used to have, and my knowledge from others' experiences, I'd say I want to wait until I feel...loved? I don't want anyone to use me, and I don't want to use or harm anyone as Algos did. It seems like it should be done when you feel vulnerable but safe in the arms of another, and a part of me wants that, and why I refuse to go about it as Algos did."

A bit more at ease, the voice of Aina came out as normal as she seemed more in control of herself than before. Assessing what her mind, body, and heart wanted made her feel more in touch with herself. And when you bond with yourself, the world around you becomes easier to deal with. Well, that was Aina's logic, anyway.

"Is that wrong or idealistic? Sex seems like an expression of affection and feeling safe with someone that makes you feel cared for romantically. And I'd like to find someone that someday can make me feel that way and allow myself to give that feeling to someone."

Code By:
[THEFROST]

Sat Nov 05, 2022 4:30 pm

Verdada paused a bit at that and narrowed her eyes. "You've started drinking?" She asked, a mild flavor of disapproval in the woman's voice. But well, she wasn't gonna harp on that. If Aina wanted to chug poison that was her own business. That said, as she listened to Aina's...... explanation of what she knew. She definitely made a face. Yea, she knew the basic stuff, thankfully she wouldn't have to go into all that. But then she started talking about ..... love? And remembered Algos's own little.....overfixation on devotion. Her threatening Santa with the possibility of thralling the woman. Well, at least the woman's fixation seemed to be more romantic than locking someone down.

Still, the face made it clear she was ...kinda...surprised. "What did someone make you read some kinda western love story? I mean....sure...good on you if that's what gets you greased. But Love really doesn't have anything to so with Sex. Sex is just a natural function of the body. And since YOUR body is ....well..human. Wether you're in love or not, you're gonna probably experience sexual need at some point. You already got all flustered earlier when I mentioned your chest. That's a human reaction, girly. Which means that you probably have the other stuff too. Sex is about reproducing, reproducing is necessary for the species to continue. And so all animals, humans or otherwise, have a drive to reproduce. So much so that sex is a part of healthy activity. Not that you NEED sex to live. But a lack of it can be bad as well. You shoudl see the fucking wacked out love-drunk psychos that shit produces in humans." She noted casually, pouring herself some water and taking a sip as she slowly made her way back into the livingroom and sat down next to Aina.

"It's fine if you wanna lock sex behind love or whatever. But you still need to take care of business. Naturally you shouldn't just fuck people every time the urge comes up. But you also gotta understand that repressing those urges comes at a cost. Well...in humans at least. So yea, feel free to save yourself for your ....prince or princess charming. But make sure you're not getting yourself all pent up. There's a lot of info online about uh... dealing with ... that stuff. If you don't feel comfortable looking that shit up yourself can help you." She explained. Did she really WANT to do that? No. But she had to look out for Aina. She was ....human....like? But neither of them really knew HOW humanlike she was. Not only that, but the woman was....weird...emotionally as it were. She had to stay on the ball, not just keeping Aina safe, but making sure she was taking care of herself. And, unfortunately, is she was PARTICULARLY human. Then ... yea. This would also be a thing. Verdada didn't know shit about ...romance or whatever. She was made by Ajora, she couldn't help the ...clinical view she had of the world.

But hey, she'd at least try to make use of it.

Mon Nov 07, 2022 12:46 pm

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SIMPLY AINA

Enter Aina's Post

Posting Music:
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Location: Turin, Italy

"Only a little! I took my friend Kenichi out to dinner, and I really liked it. Don't worry; I'm not an alcoholic!"

Aina waved that off as if it was true! She just figured having a drink helped with awkward situations like this. At least it felt nice to her when she got tipsy and a bit drunk that night.

Though, for now, her face tilted as she continued to listen and hear Verdada begin to explain her viewpoints on sex, relationships, and all that jazz. From the perception of Aina, the core of what Verdada was saying is that Aina was still going to have to find a way to release her urges. These things could cloud the mind, and perhaps her idea of romance/love may be too invested in western romance stories. After all, sex was more about reproduction than anything else in a purely biological sense.

So, she pondered on that for a bit and remained silent as if in thought. There was a danger of a person becoming too pent up if those releases were otherwise not satisfied. So, Aina looked back at Verdada and nodded.

"I may have to dial back some romance stuff, but I still want affection when I have sex. I get it's natural to have lust, but I don't want that to be the only thing. It doesn't have to be some grandiose romance novel. I just want to see that the other person cares, you know? I like gentleness if I'm exposing my body to someone."

She would scratch her head for a moment to give herself time to think and continue.

"But I have ways of releasing that. You know, the self-love kind of way as I've played with my own body before."

If Verdada didn't get the hint by what she meant, there was no helping her at this point as far as Aina was concerned. But, not wanting to dwell on that lewd subject for too long, Aina pressed forward with the conversation.

"Sorry, I'm a bit stiff with stuff like this. How do you become...un-stiff? I guess having more experience helps."

Code By:
[THEFROST]

Mon Nov 07, 2022 1:10 pm

Man this sucked. The suffering she had to endure for all this. Well, they were BOTH suffering this damn subject, bu Verdada just... nodded along. Aina seemed to once again capitulate a little harder than she thought. Weird... but whatever. As for when Aina started to go into the specifics of her 'self care' Verdada promtpyl cleared her throat loudly. "I .... do not need to know the specifics. IF you got it handled, then you have it handled. And as for being more casual with the subject, dunno. I would say it depends on how you were brought up. But well.... yea. Which is why I'm talking about it now. Maybe you'll get used to it. Maybe you'll just be mentally scarred from having to talk about it. Who knows. But yea. You don't need to change your values. It's not about correcting you or anything. Its about making you aware of these things, so that if something DOES happen, you can recognize whats going on." She pointed out and sighed, wishing she was outside so she could smoke.

"Even understanding, its possible you'll still get swept off your feet. Get caught up in the romance. What have you. All I can really do is give you the information you need to try and handle it as best you can. or...something along those lines. And ...erhem.." She rubbed the back of her head, sighing. "And even though I'm huffing and puffing. I DO want you to feel like you can talk to me. You don't HAVE to do everything I say, but you also don't have to do all this shit alone. I'm here for you if you wanna talk about stuff. Algos was all fucked up, A because she had poor role models. B, because of her fucking family, but C, she always felt alone. She clung to people and sought validation and affection in healthy ways because she felt alone. At least that's what Ajora's synopsis of her was. But either way....." Tat voice softened just a little and Verdada took a moment to look at Aina.

She was kinda proud of her. IT was still janky, and there had been some scares. But she was....well..doing it. Right? She was being her own person. Doing the thing. For now, she was living separate from all that fucked up Algos shit. What more could she ask for? Reaching out, she gently pulled Aina into a hug.
"I'm here for ya. And I'mhappy seeing you become yer own woman and all that. "