Who Are You Exactly? [Inanna, Ninsianna]

If it was not for her distressed state then Inanna might've tried to resist her mother's soothing attempts, throw her off and try to force out more but she couldn't. She was weary and the reality of it was that she didn't like nor want to fight and argue like this.

She grew quiet and relaxed a bit in Ninsianna's arms as her ears were taken advantage of and when she was able to talk again properly the danava mutterered quietly.

"Okay.. You're my mum, my only mum... Sorry."

Inanna had meant to continue and say a more proper apology for her tantrum and outburst but the lethargy added to her struggles and so it faded off until she gave up and just tried to apologise. Making ultimatums, cursing and everything didn't make her feel like much of an upstanding magical girl.

"And I am sorry too, Inanna."

What else might a mother say in such a situation? How could she, in good conscience, not apologize to her daughter for what had happened? It would be simply wrong of her not to do so.

"I love you, Inanna. I know I have never been the perfect mother, but I have always loved you, and I always want what is best for you. Would you like to go home? We can sit on the couch and talk."

She knew she had work to be doing, but she would rather address her daughter's grief, no matter how personally painful Ninsianna found such an action. Even if it was against her very nature, she could not simply turn her back on her own daughter like that.

She stood there a little bit, thinking about what was said. It was a weird kind of clarity to think about what had happened after she wasn't so emotional and upset. That clarity made her wonder what upset her more, the situation which had made her upset itself or how she had responded to it. She should be allowed to respond how she wanted, right? Do what she wanted, that was her power of choice and no one could take away her freedom to do that.

"...What do you want to do?"

Inanna asked, a little unsure of what exactly made her want to ask it. She never asked people what they wanted to do, it was always what she wanted to do in her head and if people wanted to tag along or it aligned then that was good but what did other people want? She'd cry and complain when it wasn't her way but that didn't make her feel happy now that she thought about it. Did she just make others upset so that they did what she wanted?

Indeed, Ninsianna had not exactly been prepared for such a question. She appreciated it, of course, perhaps more than she might have expected, but it had been something of a surprise. She knew her daughter well, knew that Inanna was not the sort to ask those sorts of things. That was, ultimately, exactly the reason that Ninsianna was so confident in her answer as she responded, with a small, reassuring smile.

"I want to spend time with my daughter."

It was true. Yes, she understood that she should do her work, that she did not necessarily need to leave early to spend time with Inanna. But she would not dream of stepping back from that offer now, when it sounded so genuinely pleasant, even if it would at the very same time cause her a bit of pain.

"Have you eaten today? I can make anything you'd like."

She simply wanted to be a mother.

"Okay, then I'll spend some time with you. As much as you want me to."

It made her feel different, she actually felt a little uplifted at having asked the question which evaded her so much. Maybe it was nice to hear the words said as being what her mother wanted to do rather than telling another person what she wanted to happen, to hear someone say that it was their choice and not something of an obligation.

"I'm not hungry. I want- Could you please tell me a story, one of your stories maybe? If you want, of course. You don't have to if you don't want to."

Inanna felt a bit sheepish at the correction but she didn't mind the feeling that she got when she asked if Ninsianna wanted to or not. It felt a little bit weird to conscientiously try to correct herself into this new way of doing things.

"One of my stories, hm?"

Ninsianna nodded at that, standing up as she held out a hand to help her daughter, as well. She didn't exactly want for them to spend the whole day on the floor of her office, after all. There were far better places for her to share her stories.

"Shall I tell you the story of the hero-king Gilgamesh, then? It is quite a long one, you know, and there are none but me who know it in its entirety."

She offered her daughter a small, almost sly smile at that. The offer that Inanna, too, could know something so mythic, lost to the sands of time. It was something that she wanted to share with her, a bond that she genuinely wished to forge. Ninsianna had hidden enough from her, hadn't she?

"Hero-king Gilgamesh? You're the only one that knows it fully?"

Her ears had perked up at the topic and one might even say that she had a bit of wonderment in her eyes at the fact that her mother claimed that, it could've been a lie to make herself look more positive but did Inanna care?

No, a kid didn't care about the validity of it. So she took her hand and crawled out and looked ready to jump up and onto Ninsianna like she was prone to although a moment of hesitation. Maybe she ask? No, that felt a little too embarrassing and so she remained on the ground with an expectant look upwards to let her lead the way.

"Indeed I am. The texts have been lost to time by now, but I have them all still in my memory."

Ninsianna was certainly not foolish enough to fail to notice her daughter looking upward, and she knew how Inanna liked to be carried. She was growing a bit old for that, wasn't she? Well, that wasn't Ninsianna's concern. Matters of age were hardly relevant to those like themselves, and she lifted her daughter up into her arms as she went to leave her office.

"He who has seen everything, I will teach of to all the lands. I will speak now of he who experienced all things..."

Ah, she'd not told this story in quite a long while. But it was certainly no more difficult now than it had ever been, for she had been there for its first inscription, had been there even in the days before it was committed to written word. So she spoke, not as it was written upon those tablets, but as she thought Inanna would like to hear it. She used contemporary language, and, at a point, she had to stop, to think about how truly she wished to tell the tale. But then she continued, a smile just a bit wider as she spoke.

"I watched their battle, for seven days and seven nights, and it was a more spectacular battle than any other that I've ever seen."

What a joy it was, to share this with her.

While she certainly was geting to old to enjoy the pleasures of a child, Inanna would vehemently argue if anyone tried to imply that it was immature of her. She was a grown-up after all, not a kid but there was a story to be told here and deserving of her attention far more.

"Wait! You were actually there?"

She kept her eyes and ears focused on the details, it was a grand tale although when it came to an end the little danava was just pouting. It was a nice story but she didn't like it, it didn't have a happy ending. All the media she consumed was always the power of friendship overcoming adversary but this wasn't. Actually it was the opposite, after the part of them beating the big bad divine bull and killing it, why'd they kill Gilgamesh's friend?

"I don't like that story, how come Enkidu had to die like that? The Gods shouldn't be allowed to just kill him like that for saying no to Inanna- and how come the character named after me is so mean? She shouldn't be allowed to do all those things to people and Gilgamesh just because he didn't want to be her boyfriend. Why am I called Inanna anyway? She sounds awful."

"I was indeed, Inanna."

She spoke proudly at that particular bit, but Ninsianna did not find it terribly surprising that Inanna was unhappy with the whole of the story. It was something of a sad ending, after all, wasn't it?

"Yes, I suppose that is very true. But Gilgamesh grew to be a great king only because of the loss of his dearest friend. Do you wonder if, perhaps, that was not why Enkidu had been sent to begin with? I think perhaps that Enkidu was willing to be killed, knowing it would drive his dearest friend to become a better person."

Patting her daughter on the head, Ninsianna smiled a touch more at the question Inanna asked. She supposed she would have asked much the same question.

"Not every tale about her portrays her nearly so awfully. She is, after all, the Queen of Heaven."