Slothfully Lethal (Abalia/Elyss)

“You look unhappy. Isn’t that great?”

Well, not the unhappy part, but the fact Elyss could see the displeasure on Abalia’s face meant a lot. It meant that their mission was actually a success. Of course, knowing that the woman didn’t like being manhandled, Elyss could only not care. This is just a faster way to handle their current dilemma. As much as getting a walk and some fresh air would help, the redhead finds herself not actually wanting to be around people. Call it guilt if you must, but, sometimes, you just don’t feel a part of the society you currently reside in.

“Ya know, I don’t have many people I would consider close friends, ‘Balia. Makoto hates me, Julian’s just a work partner, and all of Squad Seven.., I couldn’t bother them with something like this. The last time this happened, the Captain almost killed me.”

She spoke as she jumped along the buildings, soon reaching the Rukongai district, but even then, she continued towards the outskirts.

“It’s easy to speak about what you don’t know. You get to make up stuff and no one fact checks you half the time.”

What’s she getting at? Well, people probably do speak kindly of her. Rarely any of them has seen her in any other state besides the mask she puts on when working. Only a handful know about what a mess she is, and, even then, she hasn’t shown them just how deep her trauma runs. Her Captain is optimistic, but Murasaki also understands that Elyss has a lot of issues. Maybe that’s why the woman was quick to want to get involved. That’ll require a talk sooner than later. For now, she’s focused on speaking with the woman in her arms.

“...We’re here.”

However, they should get acquainted with the area first before diving into strong discussion. Elyss has taken them to the edge of the Rukongai, her eyes focused on the outskirts leading towards a green hill. She didn’t forget to let Abalia down before taking off in a slow walk. As they walked, Abalia would notice how some of the ground looked a bit upturned, trees in the distance bent or fallen but overshadowed by the beauty of life sprung about.

“This is the place I usually go to when I need to think. It’s quiet and the flowers are pretty. It took a while for things to grow back after Arkin and I had our little bout, but that’s not important. A lot of people probably consider themselves my friend, but it’s hard to accept such things when you know you’re not being truthful half the time.”

“I’ve become rather skilled at masking how I feel half the time, but I wouldn’t say I’ve been nothing but lies. You caught a glimpse of me when I barged into your office one time and almost died for it. However, you’ve never seen the Elyss that killed that man. People think they know the depth of my character, think I’m just a little rough around the edges, but they just don’t know…”

She kept her eyes forward, refusing to look at anything around her except for the green hill up ahead. She can envision herself there, standing, sitting, laying down. She wonders if it’ll help her today as it had before. Maybe she’ll be able to get some idea of what to do next. She knows that this has to be dealt with, but she also knows how hard it is to battle something like your own mind. How many times has she failed at keeping sane now?

“All friends usually have something they don’t talk about, be it a dark past or a quirk they’re shy about. It’s usually nothing major, but when it is, it’s easy for everyone to feel betrayed. I told you about the soul of Mirja inside of me, and you know how much of a hassle that woman was. If I told you that everything she struggled with, I’m struggling with, do you think you could help? If I were to let you see the poison in my mind, would you reach out your hand or shy away? But, I shouldn’t blame Mirja for any of this. Even when I was just a normal human, I was a monster who hurt people all the time. It’s just 100 times worse now.”

“That’s all I wanted to do, ‘Balia: help people. How did things become like this? It all started because I wanted to help everyone around me, but I guess we both have an idea of how strewn justice can become.”

Should she be diving into her past? It’s probably the right decision. Maybe she needs to relive it a bit to actually gain some insight on what she needs to do. It’s easy to say she’s going to ask someone for help. The hard part is figuring out how to fix the issue even when everyone’s helping. It’ll be no good if the group’s just staring at one another doing nothing productful.

“Man… You guys… You all make it so hard to feel down for long. It used to be so easy too.”

She grumbled as she seemed a bit peeved. Why is everyone so understanding? Is this really the power of friendship? She can see how it saves the day all the time. It’s hard to not feel a bit encouraged despite everything. Maybe that’s why it’s impossible to keep a small smile off her face.

“...Thanks…”

Oi! What is this? A hug? From this woman? Now, that’s what one calls plot development. And, it’s really fucking Elyss over, like really fucking her over. The redhead couldn’t help but feel crushed. Abalia wasn’t particularly strong, but those arms around her felt suffocating. It’s like everything that’s been going on is being squeezed out of her. The redhead can’t fight, she can’t run, she can’t even find the right words. The only thing that felt right, even if wrong, was to simply let her head lull, falling onto the other’s shoulder.

“Can we have another sleepover? When this is all over and done, I wouldn’t mind just… being normal… By then, you better have gotten used to being all emotional. We’re going to be watching all sorts of movies and shit.”

A part of her knows that changing the subject like that isn’t right, but she wants a break from thinking about everything. Isn’t it better to think about things after this anyway? She could use a light at the end of the tunnel to aim for. Besides, she doesn’t want to talk about how she’s staining her Captain Commander’s shoulders. It’s embarrassing.