The Dead don't speak [PRIVATE | S_E]

Yuel's had few regrets in life; most of the events she would've regretted, an opportunity to correct her future mishaps presents itself that prevents the regretful event to begin with. But a few still meant there were points of regret still existent. Some of these were, in some sense, locked events that any sort of interference she'd attempt, any force of will within herself to try and bring this inconvenient curse of existential singularity would prove all futile and ineffective. One of these moments of regret--actually, all those regrets she ever had far and few between, involved the death of a loved one; this one had impacted her the most.

Azure wasn't just the figure which introduced her to the wonder of the spiritual and mystical world. Before him, any news and understanding of heroic figures and despicable villains were like cartoon characters on a TV screen, beings which existed in a foreign world. Azure's influence was what drew her to Karakura Central, what drew her to making friends with Touma and challenging herself and others intellectually; their meeting sparked the chain of events that made Yuel who she is today, yesterday, and tomorrow, in all timelines. He was an irreplaceable figure in her heart, someone she looked up to as a point of admiration in character and stature, the puppy love figure that stole her heart when she was but a rowdy curious child in some boondocks, and the person who would adopt and guide her in the unlimited endeavors that was Karakura.

So everything in her being wept at news of his passing, and every ounce of regret and shame filled her when even the events of his funeral were out of her reach. And since then, on nearly a daily basis, Yuel visited his grave. With all the power vested in her being, and moments where the events of the past were open to being re-experienced--none of them had ever been a time where she could reach Azure. For all eternity, in past, present, and future, the closest she could ever be to her precious Azure was at his grave.

Evidently, she wasn't the only one who felt this way. Yuel stepped out of the vehicle driven by Yayjuu operatives, a measure Shadin placed to make sure the girl wouldn't step into the trouble she was oh so prone to attracting. A vase of flowers--cherry blossoms, as she found them fitting and the petal's hue reminded her of Azure's salmon hair--were in her arms, an offering with an ironic meaning when put on a grave.

Someone was already at his resting place, and though it wasn't rare to see someone visit a fabled hero, it was different with this one. Yuel was connected to the Yuudeshi Network, though even without it she'd recognise the person: Chifuyu Yuudeshi. A woman with frighteningly similar circumstances as herself. A prodigal youth, daughter of Shadin and pupil of Azure. Funnily enough, Yuel was her mirror, as the [adoptive] daughter of Azure and pupil to Shadin.

"Good morning, Chifuyu-san. Though, maybe in this atmosphere it'd be better said as a somber morning."

Aligning with her generally worrisome nature, Yuel mulled for a moment over whether her greeting was too familiar, but calling her "Ms. Yuudeshi" definitely felt to stiff. They should in some sense have a degree of familiarity and camaraderie, especially if you took into account what was to happen in the next coming days according to Yuel's arrangements with Vanguard and Vizard Corps logistics personnel. She ultimately settled on jumping straight to first name basis, and hopefully things worked out.

As Yuel stepped closer to the girl and the grave, she shifted her eyes towards the tombstone, fond memories always rising whenever this happened. Yuel was an emotional person, often driven by her emotions despite her love and value for rationale and logic, so it wasn't a surprise to see her wandering mind form glossy eyes and a shaky smile that suggested some other feeling.

The Duulheim once more directed her attention to Chifuyu, wonder reflected in her golden irises. She scanned her face, trying to understand how the Yuudeshi felt in this moment before figuring that she might as well just ask.

"What did you remember him by, if you don't mind me asking. How do you recall Azure, what do you recall about him? Sorry... if that was a bit out of the place."

"His smile, huh... haha, he sure did use it a lot, I can see what you mean."

Yuel let out a gentle laugh, her expression softening and eyes going unfocused, like she was reveling in the memory of his cheeky grins herself. It certainly was a memorable part of him, and though he smiled a lot less at the end of his lifespan, it was a sort of expression of glee that would carve itself in anyone's heart.

"Thinking about his smile now, I really miss it. Especially towards the end... all his smiles, weren't really smiles. They weren't fake, but it wasn't a smile from his heart, for something he was happy about. Those smiles kind of just faded away into obscurity."

The girl crouched down to place the vase on the grass in front of the tombstone, her fingers grazing the edges as her mind reminisced.

"I kind of feel like I took that for granted though, you know? He used to smile so often, it wasn't until he was gone that I really realised how much it meant to me to see the guy smile. And I kind of regret that."

Yuel then stood up, pushing on her kneecaps as if to stretch her legs and back out in a hunched over position, eventually straightening her posture. Despite the depressive words she spoke, Yuel wore a hearty smile, genuine glee on her face. She especially widened her smile when she turned to look at Chifuyu, as if her innocent face was to reassure those royal blue eyes that looked burdened with guilt and regret. And as if to further reassure her, Yuel continued talking.

"I think, though, Azure knew that. He knew that people took his smile for granted, but he still smiled when he was happy and brightened the room--because that was the kind of person he was, right? We may have taken the man for granted, but he was happy to be of service. So I think that if it was enough that we remembered his smile, and kept it dear to us, and that even after his passing that smile would brighten our moods, he'd be really happy about it."

The Duulheim once more turned her face towards tombstone, losing herself in thought and memory yet again, like her attention span was just that short, and mind just that hyperactive.

"As for me, I actually remembered him by his hair. It was really obvious, and stood out obnoxiously, even from a distance. That's the first thing I saw, when I met Azure: his hair, flapping about in the dusty winds outside my hometown. Speaking of..."

Yuel bent down once more, this time only at the hip. Taking off her right hand glove and revealing the robotic arm, Yuel's arm extended towards the vase. Her fingers picked out one of the branches of sakura flowers, picking it up and bringing it to her nose. After taking a sniff, she stood straight again, presenting the branch of flowers to Chifuyu.

"Did you know the sakura flowers bloom in the spring? They often symbolise the brevity of life, and that life is a fragile thing. But, life always come around, time is renewed, and the old flowers fall to the ground to lay a foundation for new flowers to grow. That's... not really how the cycle of life really works, and there aren't considerable nutrients in sakura petals to decompose, but I still think the symbolism is really lovely."

Chifuyu's comment on Azure's change of hair--frankly, change of style in demeanor and appearance in general--had Yuel offering a stifled laugh. His polar shift was drastic, and at the time unpleasant to be honest, but looking back it was kind of funny. Like seeing your teenage kid change his image to try something new--or in this case, seeing your dad change their image to be hip with the kids. As far as Yuel was concerned, Azure just turned more edgy, something she trivialised and didn't take too seriously, though it may be because she just diddn't want to acknowledge her beloved Azure being so different.

"Understandable. Even though his name was Azure, I think pink hair suited him better; I think the white looked like he wanted people to take him more seriously, and that was cute, but not really all that cool."

Teasing the memory of Azure served to lighten Yuel's heart. Though she cried without reserve when the man passed away, laughing at her nostalgia made it feel like she could move on from it. And it felt like doing so would help Chifuyu move on from it as well. This entire time, Yuel felt like there was some lingering feelings attached to Azure that wasn't really related to the man himself. Some sort of guilt, but not towards him--Yuel couldn't really put her finger on it though, and it's not like Chifuyu was the most expressive type of person. In fact, just eliciting some feedback, even if it was on something as mundane and flutteringly light-hearted as Azure's hair--it put the Duulheim in a good mood.

"You know you're a lot like him."

The sentence caught Yuel off guard; she wasn't related to him by blood, and though Azure took her under his care when she came to Karakura, it was after she had already developed a bit. Being equated to him like that was an interesting... complex sort of feeling. It felt like she was looked at as an actual daughter of his, and despite the girl's type of affection for the Iramasha, the comparison still made her feel... happy, sorta.

"Really? I don't see it; I think I'm a lot cuter, to be honest. Plus, I'm brilliant, and Azure was an awkward fool a lot of the time... But... well, I don't know if that's a good thing, but I'll take it as a compliment."

After realising her embarrassment made her react somewhat defensively, she stopped her self-praise and dissociation with Azure and instead just took Chifuyu's words likely how it was meant to be taken. Yuel genuinely felt like it was a good thing, to be compared to Azure.

Shaking her flattered cheeks away, Yuel popped back to her perky, energetic self, smiling vividly when Chifuyu took the sakura flower branch and twirled it around, finally offering a small, but seemingly vibrant smile of her own; frankly, Yuel found it beautiful. In a pure, natural sort of way.

"You know, you remind me of Azure a bit too, Chifuyu-san. That smile... I think if you did it more often, you'll find that a room would brighten up the way his did. Like the flowers, it's quite lovely."

Yuel for the longest time most often had interest in men, so she didn't quite realise the flirtatious connotation her words had, and as a result didn't really stop. The only reason she didn't continue was because her mind similarly wandered onward, moving the topic along as her curiosity took a peek.

"So how have things been going with you? What have you been doing since, if you don't mind me asking. I know you're still with the Vanguard, but I've been so busy that these short visits to the graveyard are usually my only leisurely activities."

Chifuyu's retort on Yuel's smile left a fuzzy feeling that made Yuel turn her head away for fear of having the roses appearing on her cheeks seen. In fact, it wasn't until Chifuyu's return of compliment that Yuel understood the implications of her own.

"A-anyways, that aside!"

She let Chifuyu respond, detailing what she's been doing since Azure's death, in the meantime allowing her face to calm down, convincing herself that the words she used wasn't weird in the least--it was just a normal compliment, a good and proper acknowledgement of something nice; that's all. There was nothing else to really feel occupied on it for, of course, so she should absolutely just move on and not think about it anymore. Absolutely.


"Ahh, the upcoming events; I think I do know what your'e talking about. Speaking of, will you be attending? Since, as you said, you are a warden after all--to which, I have to say is very admirable given your age. It makes me feel under-accomplished, to be honest, but at least I have someone to look up to when it comes to making some strides myself!"

The genuine and innocent interest she had in this new topic did well to abolish the emotional agony Yuel was putting on herself, and soon the redness in her face faded away and returned to her usual evenly light and porcelain skin. The whiteness of her skin-tone served well to highlight the deepness of her golden eyes, making contact with Chifuyu's own as her attention returned to the actual conversation.

"Research? What kind! I'm sure you already knew this, but I'm particularly invested in research of--frankly all kinds, to be honest. Do tell if--oh, sorry, if you're comfortable, of course--but if you are! If you would be so kind as to share?"

If there was ever a way to grab Yuel's attention, it was to lead her by her curiosity, and even the general mention of 'research', especially by someone Yuel viewed as competent, was like catnip to her. Anything the word "research" could be related to was within the blonde's realm of interests, and it would be a damn shame if she couldn't have that sort of addictive drive satisfied. It was something Yuel was rabid enough to simply gloss over the rest of Chifuyu's statement with a relatively light-hearted response.

"Ahh, Shadin. He's still kind of like that senile old grandpa you can't help but do favours for, because, well, he's a tad senile, out of touch with reality sorta. But, he's been good to me, guiding me, helping me to understand the, er, uniquer things about myself. It's been a comforting experience, to have someone watch over me like he does. But, that aside, about that research you were talking about?"

Chifuyu's mercy on the teasing was well received, though Yuel wasn't really cognizant that it was mercy and not just naturally passing over the opportunity. Instead, Chifuyu duly moved on and responded to the blonde's inquiry on her participating in the upcoming summit. Her response left Yuel a bit disappointed, as she felt excited to potentially meet her new friend at another established time for sure. Actually, she could probably do that even without the summit?

The rapid change in her visual expressions from anticipation, to disappointment, to elation was overt and obvious, and not by intent. It only returned to a more stable look of inquiry when Chifuyu expressed her humbling self-assessment--something Yuel frowned at a bit.

" That's not right, and that'd be insulting to Azure if you really thought of things that way. Azure is a sentimental person, but he wouldn't put someone in that sort of position without thinking they could appropriately handle it. Maybe you felt like you hadn't earned your role, but from what he understood, you being a warden was the stage necessary to prove that you could own it, and that you had it in you to do just that."

It didn't seem like a topic Chifuyu really wanted to linger on, so after she said her piece Yuel dropped it. If anything, her offering some sort of motivational speech would be something conducted for another day. Instead, the youth moved on to intently listen to the rest of what Chifuyu had to say--especially the matters regarding her research... which really just felt like a tease. She sounded like she was deflecting a bit, but the point of that sort of conversation not being appropriate where they currently were, that was very much valid.

To which, Yuel readied a proposal to go somewhere now in response, completely forgetting about a strict schedule she was currently on. This was something abruptly reminded of her after one of the Yayjuu operatives came by to inform her that an important meeting was coming up in a few hours, and her attendance was necessary.

With particular disappointment and reluctance, said what she needed to the operative, before turning around to look at Chifuyu one last time.

"Well, as I'm sure you can tell, I have to be going now. But, I really enjoyed finally meeting you, and I'll be sure to contact you through the YN, where we can talk about your research, if you wouldn't mind!"

With a final wave, and a pause to wait for Chifuyu's response if she had any, Yuel eventually offered a parting bow and turned back to the vehicle behind her, entering the back to thereon leave the graveyard.